Flow
by LadyLorena
Summary: Loki flows. He flows between male and female, brother, sister, and sometimes somewhere between or neither. But when he is left on Midgard, stripped of his long life and his magic, he must learn another, more difficult way to live.
1. Chapter 1

Loki is thin, pale, and draped in chains, his mouth clamped shut with silver, standing in the middle of the vast throne room surrounded by soldiers. Odin walks slowly around him. The silence is crushing. Loki only managed a few months on the throne and he has been imprisoned for a year in a section of the dungeon best described by the word 'harrowing'.

"You do not deserve mercy for what you have done. But I made a promise to your mother not to kill you. You will be sent to Midgard to live as one of them. Stripped of your long life and magic, you will learn what it was you tried to destroy."

Loki can say nothing in reply.

"I cast you out."

Naked and afraid, Loki huddles in the desert at night, shivering. He has no idea where he is, or what to expect. He hates the idea of being found. There is nothing around him but darkness. Even the stars are strange.

As the dawn greys, the Bifrost opens. He wants to run, but he is to embarrassed of his condition to stand. Thor approaches and crouches down in front of him. He hands him a set of clothes and Loki dresses quickly. Thor drapes a blanket around his shoulders.

"Come, Brother. Father has told me of your punishment. I know where you can stay."

"Doesn't everyone you know in this realm prefer me dead?"

"Not everyone."

"Everyone but possibly your lady?"

Thor does not answer, but lifts Loki and twirls Mjolnir, "Hang on." They fly.

Thor lands on the deck of a very tall building in a very tall city that Loki recognizes from the sky, "You brought me here. Why did you bring me to the one city in Midgard where everyone universally hates me?"

"Because it is where Anthony lives and has a guest apartment."

"I am certain I will be unwelcome."

Tony Stark meets them at the door, "Um...why is he here?"

"Father has banished him. He will cause you no harm."

"Yeah, not buying it." He turns to Loki, "And if you break anything, I'll call in the Hulk."

Loki stares at the ground.

"Do not fear, Anthony, for my father has also stripped him of his long life and his magic- he is no different than you."

"How is that even possible?"

"He is the All-Father."

"So why is he _here_?"

"Because he needs a place to sleep."

"Whoa whoa whoa...you want me to put him up?"

"I have no other place to take him until I can make other arrangements."

"I don't like this."

"I know. But please, Anthony. My brother needs help and I know nowhere else to find it. All I ask is that you give him a bed and sustenance until I can guarantee it otherwise."

Tony glares hard at Loki and Loki seems to shrink, "OK, but we're having an Avengers meeting first. Almost everybody's already here. Holiday weekend."

"I thought you were no longer officially with the Avengers?"

"Eh, except when we get together for pizza and beer."

A few minutes later, Loki tries to hide in an overstuffed armchair while Thor explains in painstaking detail just what his father has decreed. No one in the room looks comfortable.

"So how long do you think he'll be here?" Steve asks.

"I do not know. I hope to secure other lodging within a fortnight."

"Two weeks under my roof. Thor, you're asking me to spend two weeks with the guy who got me killed...or nearly killed. I don't like this. And it's my tower. So he's going to be under security. And far enough away from me that I don't think about the whole window thing."

"I do not ask that you accept him as an honoured guest. Only that you give him the kindness of shelter and sustenance."

"Good, because that's the only kindness he's getting from me."

Vision watches. It is his nature, to watch.

"I think we can manage two weeks," Steve says. Tony glares at him, "Well if he's just like people who aren't superheroes, we should be fine, right? He doesn't have super strength. He's not strapped to Tony's suits, there's no magic...he's just another guy. What could he do to us that we couldn't stop?"

"Cap's got a point," Sam adds, "It's not like he's one of us."

Loki hugs his knees and tries to tap into anything he could use to literally disappear. There is nothing left. No magic. No energy stemming from Yggdrasil. Nothing singing in his mind when he finds just the right tendril. There are no tendrils at all.

"Fine, fine, you guys win. We'll put him up."

Thor bows, "Thank you. I owe you a debt."

"Yeah, whatever. Just get him out of here as fast as you can."


	2. Chapter 2

Less than an hour later, Loki sits on the edge of the bed in a sparsely furnished apartment and stares at the bank of windows. The day is bright and beautiful.

"What just happened to me?" He can hardly process everything. He can feel time acting on his body. He cannot feel that connection he once had directly to the energy that binds all living thing- the tendrils of the World Tree, the Great Ash. And staring at the concrete, steel, and stone world beyond the glass, he feels even more disoriented. He does not belong anywhere. What started as numbness and disbelief turns to incredible crushing sadness.

There is a knock on the door and he bids whomever it is to enter. Anyone is better than spending time with his own thoughts, even if that anyone is Midgardian. He catches himself. He is like them now. The thought is crushing. His visitor is one of the women- not the one he encountered a few years before, but one with long dark hair.

Her voice is melodic, her accent intriguing, "I thought perhaps you could use some company."

"You speak differently than they do." It is impolite, he knows, but it is also the only thing he can think of through the weight of his circumstance.

"I was not born in this country and another language is my first."

"Do you have a name?"

"Wanda."

"You already know mine."

She leans on the bedroom doorframe, "Yes, but you did not have the chance to introduce yourself. So if you wish..."

"Loki. My name is Loki. The one thing he did not take from me."

"Would you like someone to talk to?"

"I do not know." She sits on the floor beside his bed, cross-legged, and waits, "In the past day, I have been cast out of the realm I grew up in, thrown away by the man I once called 'Father', had my life shortened, and had my magic ripped from my heart- I can feel its absence with every beat. I do not know what I can possibly say... Have you ever felt your own body dying, Wanda? I can. I can feel myself aging. Every second. Five thousand years to a mere hundred at absolute best, changed in an instant."

"That must feel terrible."

"Not compared to knowing that you have no place in this world or any other."

"How do you know that you have no place in this world, having only been here a day?"

He sighs, "I cannot. That would simply be impossible."

"I once believed I absolutely could not live without my brother. Then he was killed and I have found that while it is difficult, it is possible. Perhaps you will also find that the impossible is merely the difficult, something to be conquered one day at a time."

"Thank you. But I think I need to rest now. I spent last night shivering, naked in a desert."

She stands, "Of course- that is a terrible way to arrive in a new land. I hope you rest well and that when you wake, things seem a little less dismal."

She leaves, and he falls back on the bed, easily dropping into sleep. But when he wakes that evening, things are no easier. They are worse. Loki bathes and stares in the mirror at his naked body and is ready to cry. Nothing about it feels right. In Asgard, he would simply change his shape. He would become she, and she would don flowing silk gowns and plait her hair. It was no secret that the youngest Odinson was fluid and was to be addressed as either Loki the man or Loki the woman depending on the day. And some day she or he was interchangeable, as Loki would rest somewhere in between, a body bearing slender curves and fine features, but no distinct sex.

As Loki stares in the mirror, she frantically searches for the way to shift into her other self. But this, too, is gone. She dresses and drops to his bed in despair.

"I hate this. Why did he not execute me?"

She returns to the bathroom and rifles through the cabinets until she finds a shaving kit. The razor looks sharp enough. She pries the blades from it. If the All-Father would not do the job, she will. Stealing this from her is the last straw.

Floors above, Tony and Steve argue about the merits of anonyminity while Sam tweaks the mechanics of his wings. James talks philosophy with Vision and Natasha listens. Wanda sits near the security monitors. She glances at Loki's feed and wonders what he is doing.

"Nat? A moment?" Natasha joins her, "Why is it no one else will watch him?"

"Because most of us don't really care what he does. He did try to kill us."

"And will you tell me what he is doing? The picture is too small."

"Looks like he's messing with a razor."

Wanda jumps from her stool, "Oh god...tell the others."

"Tell them what?"

But Wanda is already running. The elevators are too slow, so she leaps down the stairs.

Natasha watches as Loki returns to the bed and positions the blade, "Oh fuck." She calls to the others, "Guys, we've got a problem."

Wanda blows the door in and stumbles into Loki's apartment as the blade digs deep into flesh, "Stop!" She grabs the blade and tosses it on the floor, pressing her thumb above the cut to try to slow the bleeding, raising his wrist above his chest.

"Just let me go, please..."

"No." She calls to whomever is listening, "Send help!"

"Don't, actually." Loki lays back on the bed, "Leave me be."

"No." She keeps the wound elevated, "Why?"

"You would not understand."

"You cannot know that."

"Stop trying to save me."

Steve runs in the room, "A doctor's on the way. Tony's on the phone with Thor."

"Why did you have to call him?" Loki whispers, eyes closed.

"What happened?"

Wanda answers, "Too much at once. Sit, but let him rest. No questions."

Steve sits on the edge of the bed away from all the blood and waits, watching her adjust her grip and listening to her talk, "I, too, have been to the dark places in my heart. They are hard to return from, but return from them we can. It is no shame to name them, or to let them consume you for a time. Right now, I simply ask that you focus on my voice and live. Breathe in, breathe out. One second at a time."

She continues like this- gentle reassurances, a steady and calm presence as Loki's blood seeps between her fingers. She does not seem to notice. Every once in a while Loki takes a deep breath and she coaxes until she hears a second. A medical team arrives, loads their gurney, and whisks their patient to the building's surgical centre. Wanda stays close with Steve near by until she is told she must leave.

He gestures to one of the large sinks, "You might want to wash up."

It is only then that she notices just how much blood she is wearing, "Yes. I should." She scrubs her arms and then stares at her clothes, "I should also change." She hesitates.

"I'll stay while you do."

With a quick nod, she hurries to her apartment.

When she returns, Loki is stitched, bandaged, and sedated; Steve sits beside the bed, "Did he say why?"

"No. But does it surprise you? His entire world has changed in less than a day, the identity he had stripped from him. And it is overwhelming. Did you feel no sense of despair when you returned from the ice? No tearing at your heart when you realized that the world you knew was entirely gone?"

"A little. But there was nothing I could do about it, so I just dealt with it and moved on."

"Loki has lost his long life, his magic- pieces of his identity since his very birth. Perhaps that has hurt too deeply to simply move on from."

"Maybe. Why are you so willing to help the guy? You just met him, and he did try to invade New York with an alien army."

"And I released the Hulk on an African city. Once your enemy, now your friend."

"You think he's going to become our friend?"

"I think there is hope for everyone."

"Fair enough." He pats her shoulder, "Make sure you get some rest. Don't stay up all night keeping vigil." He stands and walks to the door.

"Thank you. Goodnight, Captain." She smilies- a teasing smile, one that knows he is always the leader, looking out for everyone, even when he isn't in uniform.

"Goodnight, Witch. And I mean that about staying up. You need your rest."

"Of course. I will sleep." He knows she will, even if it is only a few hours. Wanda does not lie, even if she omits the truth. She settles in for the long night, dozing off in the uncomfortable chair by Loki's bed.


	3. Chapter 3

When Loki wakes in the morning, she is still in the medical centre and she is alone, still yearning for her other body, her brain screaming that she is "she". She is also strapped to the bed. She tries to snap the bonds and cannot budge them. She hates the limits of this Midgardian shell. A shell it is, though, one empty of everything she feels she is. She swears under her breath as the door opens.

Natasha enters, "You're up. Breakfast will be on its way. Wanda's bringing it."

"I seem to find myself alive. How unfortunate."

"Not going to lie, the idea of you being dead didn't really bother me much until Thor walked in and I saw his face."

"I do not wish to speak to Thor."

"Somehow I don't think that's avoidable."

"Likely not."

She sits down beside the bed, "So why did you try to kill yourself? Wanda shared her theory with us last night. Whole world ripped out from under you. Is that it? Because some of us have never really had a world under our feet to begin with and it's a little hard to sympathise."

"I do not wish to speak of it."

"Really? Because if I remember right, you really like hearing yourself talk."

"Are you still upset about the 'mewling quim' line?"

"No. You tried to play me, it failed, but you did a good job. Better than most. And that really was a creative insult. Never been called that before, and I've been insulted in at least a dozen languages."

"Ah, my one victory."

The door slides open and Wanda pushes in a breakfast cart, "Will you be joining us, Nat?"

"No, just waiting for you. He's awake." She gets up to leave, "He's all yours."

When they are alone, Wanda settles in loosens the straps, "You were thrashing in your sleep after the sedative wore off. They did not want you to hurt yourself."

"She said you were speaking of me last night?"

"I was attempting to explain why you might choose to die."

"For what reason?"

"So they will see you as a person no different than the rest of us."

"And did it work?"

"I do not know. Steve and James seems inclined to listen. Vision wants to understand but does not yet know what it is to wish for death. Tony will be harder to convince. So will Sam, but he trusts my judgement, even if he does not know how to think about you yet."

"You told them my world was completely wrenched away from me and that was my motive?"

She serves breakfast- toast and eggs, juice and melon, "That it was a possible motive. And that you had things that have been a part of you since childhood taken from you, such as your long life."

"You are partly correct."

"Do you wish to explain?"

"No."

She nods and sips her juice, "Then eat. Your brother is upstairs. He wishes to see you. I insisted on a calm breakfast first."

"Why are you doing this for me?"

"Pietro was my twin. When he died, a part of me did, too. And I wanted to follow him. Even after I made my choice to join this side, it followed me. I have the power in my own mind to do it quickly. I was very close many times, looking at objects I had as methods, in addition to my own powers. I do not want to see another as alone as I was in my wish for self destruction."

"How much of my story did they tell you?"

"Thor told us everything he knew last night. Your birth, your adoption. Your fall. New York City and the Chitauri. Your mother's death and vengeance. Your apparent death. Time on the throne. And then your discovery."

"That is quite a lot. Did none of it bother you?"

"No, it did not."

"Oh?"

"Pietro and I were with HYDRA. Has Thor explained HYDRA to you?"

"No."

"They look towards a future where they rule and all others bow under their boots. One where those who are inferior do not survive. We were their super humans. Creatures enhanced to be better than people, ones who would rule with them. We then stood with Ultron when he asked for a world evolved- a world where we would be the highest forms of humanity. But he decided that was not possible, that since humans could not evolve fast enough, he would kill them and replace them with himself. We fled."

"That does not explain why you would not be surprised by my story."

"We were the villians. We unleashed the Hulk on a city. We showed the Avengers visions of horrors they could not shake. We were willing to do worse. We were once their enemies. And now I am one of them."

"You do not see a past as a problem."

"I cannot. You are what you are at this very moment. That is all."

"What would you do were I to tell you that the reason is deeper, even, than you believe?"

"I will listen."

Loki sets aside the plate, speaking cautiously, quietly, "Does your realm have those who feel as though their body does not always match their mind?"

"In what way?"

"Growing up, there were days I felt certain that I should wear a woman's body, and so I shifted my shape to do so. Some days I was firmly a man. And other days, somewhere between. But I would simply change to fit so that I could be happy. Now I cannot. Are there those here who feel as though their body is sometimes at odds with their mind?"

"Yes, they exist. In this language, we call them 'transgender'."

"And how do they cope?"

"That varies. Some alter their bodies with surgery. Others with clothing and makeup only. Some change fully, others do not, and live flexable lives. It depends on the person, what they wish to do to live happily."

Loki sighs, "At least there is a word for it."

She reaches for a hand, "Is this why you tried to die?"

"Yes. I woke up and could not make myself match. Who I am...one more part of me he has ripped out. And an important part."

"How did those in Asgard treat you for your shifting genders?"

"It is not a common practice among the Aesir, but it is not unheard of. I was simply one of the few who could do it exceptionally well. Why?"

She squeezes Loki's hand, "There are those here who hate transgender people. It can be very difficult. But it can also be very rewarding to live in such a way that proves such horrible people cannot defeat you. I did not want you to think this world is like Asgard, if in Asgard it is accepted."

Loki grips her hand in return, "Thank you for your honesty."

"If you will not lie to me, I will not lie to you."

"Lies are...were...a significant part of my life."

"And do they still have to be?"

"No. But the better question is do I want them to be?"

She slips her hand away and pushes the plate back, "That is a question you will have to answer, but you do not need to do so now. What you must do now is eat before Thor decides that it is time to visit. You will need your energy."

"Ah, yes. For some brotherly conversation."

They eat without further talk and as she clears the dishes, Thor enters. Loki takes a deep breath.


	4. Chapter 4

As soon as Wanda is out of the room, Thor begins speaking, "Brother, they tell me that you tried to kill yourself last night. After all we have done to preserve your life, why?"

"Because no one asked me if I wanted my life preserved."

The answer hurts, "You would have rather that Father kill you?"

"Thor, how would you feel if you discovered yourself as mortal as one of these people? Everything that made you Aesir stripped from you? Not a simple banishment, mind you, but locked out permanently, with no hope of return?"

"I would not seek to die, if that is what you are asking."

"Do you remember the days when I was Lady Loki?"

"Of course." Thor's face brightens, "You were a lovely woman and a delightful sister."

"And do you remember what I told you of such changes?"

"They were merely a part of who you are. Yes."

"Can you not connect these pieces together?"

"That feeling did not leave you when you left Asgard?"

"At this moment I would be she, were it possible." Thor tries to take her hand, but Loki jerks it back, "And I really would rather you call this what it is- I was _flung_ out of Asgard, I did not _leave_ it." Loki is angry, she punctuates every word, tired of having to lead Thor to the proper conclusion.

"What does your shape shifting have to do with wanting to kill yourself? You are always Loki, no matter what shape you take."

"While I appreciate the sentiment that you do not care which body I am in, I hope you remember that the body is important to _me_."

"You did once say you shift when you are compelled to by something deep in your soul."

"And... Come now, Thor, you can figure this out. You are not so daft."

"I should pummel you for that."

"But you will not. Now, put the pieces together. I shifted when I felt the need. Now I am one of Midgard's creatures. The lowest creature in the Nine, according to your Father."

"You can no longer shift."

"Yes."

"And this brings you great distress."

"Go on, go on."

"And this was one misery too many."

"Ah, yes, the Mighty Thor has reasoned it out yet again!" She drops back against the pillows, "Now can we stop this little banter? I wish to rest."

"What can I do to make this better, Loki? I do not want to lose you again."

There is a long pause before Loki answers, "Will you plait my hair?" It is almost a soft plea.

"I will call for brushes and hair pins. Then yes, I will."

Loki smiles a little, "Thank you, Thor."

"You are ever welcome, Sister." Thor leaves for his tools, and when he returns, Loki has dozed off. He leaves the hair things on a tray by the bed and goes to fetch a book, settling in beside Loki to wait.


	5. Chapter 5

Wanda enters the penthouse for lunch and all eyes are on her, "What are you all staring at?"

Tony shrugs, "Cap and I were listening in to your little talk with our suicidal foe this morning. Seems like he's opening up to you. What did you do, get inside his head?"

"No. And that you would listen in is repulsive. Loki does not wish to speak to everyone."

"Too bad, he's in my house, and I consider it part of prisoner security."

"I consider building up trust part of security as well, but you seem intent on undermining my efforts."

Tony holds up his hands, "Whoa, don't get angry. I'm not telling you to stop."

"How is he to trust any of us if he cannot trust that a conversation is private?"

"Maybe I don't want him to trust us."

She rolls her eyes, "That is uttelry idiotic."

Steve steps in, "Let's calm down here. You're both right. We do have to be very careful, and we should be making sure that he's not up to something. But maybe we can turn off the audio when one of our own is with him. He doesn't have the staff, he's just a normal guy now. Any of us can stop him, probably single handedly- he looks pretty thin, unhealthy even."

"That doesn't mean we should be trusty, SuperSteve."

"That's where she's right- if we ever want him to actually function like a normal human being, he's going to have to learn from somebody. I'd rather it be from somebody like Wanda than, say, from HYDRA. And you know they'll try to recruit him to reproduce Asgard's weapons once they find out he's here. Security starts with trust."

"Fine, fine...Wanda can have her little talks with him without us listening in."

"Thank you."

"So why don't you share what he told you with Vision, Nat, Sam, and Rhodey?"

"No, Tony. Just...no."

"Ok. I will. Loki's a crossdresser. Or something. Tried to kill himself because he couldn't be a woman. Apparently that's no big deal in Asgard."

Natasha shakes her head, "You're a piece of work."

"Me?"

"I'm not really cool with you sharing a private conversation like it's gossip," James adds.

"Oh, come on, Rhodey."

"No, Tony, you crossed a line. I know we're in your house and all, but...that's pretty low."

"Sam? Want to weigh in on my behavour?"

"Not really, but he did just try to kill himself. I may not like this, but give him a break."

"He nearly suceeded in killing me...well, all of us, more than once. Say, do any of you remember that time he tried to take over the planet? Hm?"

In the pause, Vision speaks, "I still do not understand why this would make him want to die."

Wanda pours a cup of coffee and sits beside him, "Loki told me that he...she? -would simply shape shift his magic. Now he cannot. It is one more thing he feels has been taken from him."

"And he feels as though he has nothing left."

"Correct. His long life dimished, his magic gone, his ability to even shift his form to what he is most comfortable with also gone...he feels his body aging and dying. He wanted to hurry it along."

"I can feel aging as well, but that only makes me want to live."

"But you do not look in the mirror and some days see something you do not feel you are. He does. And, apparently, he felt as though there was very little of himself left when he woke and tried to slit his wrists."

"What can we do about this?"

Natasha sighs, "Well there's only one of us who looks in the mirror and sees a stranger and he's somewhere near Fiji."

"Are you saying you want to call in Banner to talk to Loki? Oh, that'll go over great. What'll you say to him, Nat? Oh, Bruce, Loki's back, and he's got some issues with his identity. You've got those, too, so can you have a chat?"

"Shut it, Tony."

Steve tries to diffuse the tension, "But he's got a point. What do you intend to do?"

"I don't know yet. But let's face it, none of us know what that's like- to feel like our body's not really the one we're supposed to be in. Bruce's the closest we've got."

"Or, you know, you could just find a transgender support group or something," Tony adds.

"Pretty sure the being from Asgard part might weird people out just a little too much."

"It weirds me out a little still, even with Thor."

Steve looks to Wanda, "So what do you think? You've talked to him more than any of us."

"I do not know Dr Banner well, but if Natasha belives he could help, then we ought to try it."

"What's your fascination with him, anyway? You got a crush?"

She rolls her eyes, "No, Tony. But you will remember that I was once your enemy as well. Pietro and I. And you have given me another chance. I wish to extend the same grace."

"You're a better man than me," Tony says.

"That is because I am a woman." Wanda does not stay to hear the rest of their conversation. She heads to her own quarters to think. Once she has made herself tea, she settles into her pile of lush pillows and tucks her knees to her chest. She cannot shake the feeling that she and Loki have intertwined destinies. She does not know how. And she does not want to reach into his mind yet. But there is something there that she cannot put her finger on. Perhaps it is simply that they both have a history of mistakes to atone for. Or maybe not.

She sips her tea slowly, savouring the warmth. The air outside the tower is cold, the sun deceptively bright. The world is turning to winter, the season that most reminds her of her brother. Pietro loved the snow. With his speed, he could dance between the falling flakes, and when he slowed down to drag her out into the chill, they would laugh together as the snow kissed their skin. She wonders when the first snowflakes will fall in New York this year. And then she wonders if there is snow in Asgard and if Loki has ever played in it.


	6. Chapter 6

Thor plaits Loki's hair as he has so many times in the past. It is a moment of intimacy they have not shared in years, one kindness he is allowed to gift. He works the hair slowly, carefully tucking errant strands, smoothing the braids, until he has woven it into a soft crown. When he is done, Loki asks for a mirror, but Thor does not have one. He tells her to wait, that he will find one, and he leaves. Loki gently touches her hair, feeling only slightly better.

Thor does not know where to go for a mirror. He thinks that perhaps his female friends might have one, so first he knocks on Natasha's door. She does not answer. He goes next to Wanda's. She answers, still holding her tea.

"Yes?"

"Might you have a hand mirror? Loki would like to see his hair. I have braided it."

"Oh, yes. Step in a moment. I must find it."

Thor does as he is asked and takes in his surroundings. Overstuffed furniture, a fluffy couch, pillows. Walls draped in silk panels. Oriental rugs. Everything in rich colours, reds, golds, blue, green, and violet. It is beautiful and a bit lavish, but not overly so.

"Is he happier for it? Or ought we use she?" she asks as she rifles through a desk drawer.

"Yes, we should use 'she'. I did not know you knew." Thor sighs, releaved that he can be honest with Wanda. Even in Asgard, he had been careful about his speech. While Loki was not harassed, it was not because everyone was open to gender fluidity, but because those few who were not were carefully kept at a distance. Thor had worked hard to ensure Loki's safety.

"Yes, I do."

"I hope she is happy, but so long as she cannot shift shape, I fear she will struggle. And we may yet possibly lose her."

"I did not know which to use this morning with the others- I did not know what he- she would want. Here." She hands him the mirror, "I hope it helps."

He takes it and nods his thanks, "Why do you seem to care Loki when the others do not?"

"We were both once the villian. And she deserves no less than what I was granted."

"A chance to join the Avengers?"

"A chance at a new life, whatever shape it takes."

"I am grateful for this." He holds up the mirror, "And for this." He leaves her apartment.

She hesitates, then follows, "Wait. May I come with you?"

"Of course."

Together they return to the medical centre. Loki startles when the door opens. Thor hands her the mirror and she admires her hair.

"Do you like it, Sister?"

"Yes. I do. Thank you." She turns to Wanda, "How do I look?"

"Lovely."

"You are too kind. But it is still not right."

"We can acquire you a makeup kit, Sister. And garments. Would you like this?"

Loki sighs, "I would, but I fear I would merely be a man wearing women's garb, my face painted to appear as what it is not. It would not be the same."

Thor's face falls, but Wanda takes her hand, her voice gentle, "But it is what we can do here, now. You cannot do what you once did. But you can do the best you can with what we have. And you are quite beautiful, just as you are."

"It is not enough."

"Loki, please. Find a way to be happy with the limits Midgard has placed on you."

"Thor, it has been such a short time. Such a very short time. And you are asking that I find happiness while I still reel from your father's choice to cast me out. I can find no peace with this. I feel my body dying. Every day, one step closer. And the sparks at my fingertips from the tendrils of Yggdrasil are silent, dead, cold- beyond what I can reach. Deafeningly silent. As if these two things were not enough, I awoke clearly feeling as though the soft curves and graceful lines of femininity were the body I ought have and could do nothing to make myself match. Would that he not have taken this from me so that I might at least try to find a happiness here."

Wanda squeezes her hand, "Loki, I want you to look at me." She does, "You are graceful. You are beautiful. And I would like to take you shopping so that you might at least see what we can do to make you feel a little better."

"Does your realm have clothiers for people like me?"

"For transgender individuals? Yes. And thanks to a dear friend, I know where we can go."

Thor claps Loki's shoulder, "Once you heal, we will go shopping! You will be gloriously bedecked in Midgard's finest."

"Perhaps not its finest, Thor. Perhaps something more commonplace."

"Whatever you wish. I have been looking for apartments for you as well."

"They do not want me in the tower."

"Anthony has made it clear that you are a temporary guest."

"Ah. Of course." She asks Wanda, "Is it easy to be lonely amongst so many people? A city teeming with life, but all of it strange and unfamiliar?"

"Very. I felt the same coming here from Sokovia. I will ask Magda if she knows of any place near her home- she lives in a smaller community beyond the city centre. Life feels slower there."

"Magda?"

"My friend. A fellow Sokovian refugee. One who knows what it is like to very suddenly have no home to return to."

"Oh?"

"Our country's only city was lifted into the sky by Ultron- Tony's creation- in the attempt to drop it to earth to destroy humankind. An extinction level event. Most of our people were evacuated, and while some chose to stay and rebuild what little was left of Sokovia, most of us left. Immigration was relatively simple. 'Oh, one of our American heroes destroyed most of your country trying to stop his own creation from destroying all of humanity? Yes, of course we will let you settle here; it is the least we can do.'"

"He destroyed a city?"

"Most of a small nation. Ultron. A sentient computer. He infiltrated everything, shut down what he wanted, and put his weapons in our most sacred spaces. I fight now with the Avengers, but that does not mean that I like Tony Stark."

"Oh. I see. But there are others of your nation in this area?"

"A few. But we are so scattered."

"And Magda is one of your countrymen...countrywomen?"

"She is my Magda."

"If you trust her, I would appreciate her aide in finding a home."

Wanda smiles, "Then I will ask her. It would be good for you to meet her."

"I tried to invade this place. She might not want to meet me."

"Sokovian history is one of being conquered. We cannot hold grudges against most of the world, so we are rather forgiving of such things."

"But you cannot forgive Ultron or Mr Stark?"

"Destruction and a regime change are two very different things."

"I place myself in your hands, then."

Thor is happy to see Loki responding so well to Wanda. He had feared that everyone would shun her completely, that she would spend her entire time in the tower in isolation. To see Wanda treating her as a friend warms his heart and gives him hope for Loki's survival.


	7. Chapter 7

A few days later, Wanda takes Loki and Thor shopping. The places they go are fun, funky, and full of colour. But the entire trip is stunning to Loki, not just the clothing she has to choose from. The rivers of people on the streets, the height of the city itself, the noise of the traffic and of so many bodies traveling in one place, the smells of humanity, of food, of exhaust. Everything is part of an entirely overwhelming learning experience and she clutches Wanda's hand so as not to get swept off in the current. Thor keeps a protective hand at Loki's elbow, gently guiding, keeping her from stepping into the crosswalk or from being caught up in the rush of people coming and going from the subway entrances.

Their first store specialises in undergarments and though she is initially hesitant to talk about things such as breast size with a stranger, the shop owner puts her at ease as they try lightly cinching her waist, gently coaxing her to tell what she envisions. Loki is careful not to talk about shapeshifting. She brings out a selection of bras and what will fill them. When she finds out that this is Loki's first shopping trip as a woman, she is nearly as excited as they are. She leaves the shop with curves. When Loki steps out onto the street, it feels almost like a different body walks from the shop, a _she_. And it feels good.

Shopping with Wanda is fun. Each store is an oasis from the chaos outside and while Loki can hardly convince Thor to try anything on, Wanda is more than willing to play. There are so few of the silks she knew in Asgard, but she does find a few shirts and a few pairs of flattering black jeans. The long flowing gowns she adored back home are absent, however, and this saddens her. Wanda finds some long cotton sundresses and she is a bit happier. Then they go shoe shopping. Loki has never walked in heels before and she hates them, opting instead for sandals. Wanda finds her a pair of black ballet flats that she also deems acceptable.

On the way back to the tower, they ride the subway for a short distance, then call for their car. Loki is quiet and very tired. Thor leaves her at the apartment, saying a temporary goodbye. There is business to attend to in Asgard.

Wanda stays for a little while, talking through how to care for the new clothing and trying to keep the mood light, but it is not working and Loki is slipping back into a more morose mood, "Wanda, may I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Why was it that everyone seemed so excited today? The shopkeeps behaved as though I had won some sort of prize, or perhaps defeated an enemy."

"What you are- transgender- is not common here. Those who do reveal themselves are often shunned by at least one person in their life, and sometimes by their entire family. The people you spoke to today see this transformation as an incredibly brave thing to do. The love and joy they showed you was meant to say that you are not alone and you can be happy."

"Why are they shunned?"

"Because some people think it is very wrong for someone to seek to be a different sex or gender."

"But why?"

"Sometimes they think it is the will of their god. Other times it is fear."

"So what I am is reviled here."

She takes Loki's hands, "Only by some people. Do not think this means you are anything less than beautiful."

"Why are you doing this for me?"

"I have told you."

"And I still do not understand it May I call you my friend?"

"Yes." She smiles and kisses her cheek, "You may. I have to go upstairs- Steve called while we were out and I ignored him as long as I could, but we have a meeting. I will see you later. Do not forget to wash off your makeup before you go to sleep."

Sleep, she knows, is not far off, so when Wanda leaves, she washes her face and slips naked into bed. It has been a good day, but an exhausting one.

Upstairs, the meeting is less than restful. Tony is pacing while Steve tries to get him to sit. Sam is trying to distract himself by playing chess with Vision, but it isn't working. James watches, wondering what is going to happen when Wanda joins them.

The door enters and Tony explodes, "What were you thinking?! You took him out into the city, you didn't let any of us know! Did you even think about what could have happened? What we could have had to deal with thanks to your little excursion? And for what? A few bras? Fake tits? Heels?"

She slaps him so hard he staggers sideways, "He is no prisoner! Thor asked you to house him here, not to jail him. And what did you expect to happen? Hmm? What? Did you expect he would do what you seem to whenever you are in a new city? Destroy it in the name of security? Reduce it to rubble for the safety of its residents?"

Steve steps between them, "Come on, guys. This isn't worth fighting about."

"Not worth fighting about? Whose side are you on, Cap? She could have gotten somebody killed!"

"Now, Tony, I don't think you're reacting rationally. Loki's not like Thor anymore. No super strength. No magic. Nothing. He's just a tall guy who really needs to see the sun a little more. Might have a vitamin D deficiency. Needs to put on a little weight. And if you do the math, he's only about 20. Nothing's going happen taking him shopping unless someone decides to attack Wanda and Thor. I doubt they'd have much trouble dispatching anything that comes their way."

"Are you kidding me? For all we know, this is an act. Maybe he's not so powerless after all."

Wanda walks away, "Have your meeting without me."

Sam intercepts her before she reaches the door, "You trust him?"

"He has given me no reason not to."

"He let aliens into New York City!" Tony protests.

"Excuse me, Sam." She turns to Tony, "And that is a reason not to trust him? Not to allow him another life? And what, I ask, should I think of you?"

"Wait, what?"

"You destroyed my country trying to create world peace!"

"Whoa, that was Ultron-"

"And who created Ultron? Tell me, Mr Stark, should I trust you? You who created that monster? And what of me? Do you consider what I have been as a creature of HYDRA to make me unworthy of trust?"

The room is silent.

"I trust you. And Loki." Vision's voice breaks the tension.

James shrugs, "Thor trusts him. I think he'd know if Loki wasn't on the level with us."

"If he's just a regular guy, what's the harm in it?" Sam asks.

"Yeah, what's the harm in the crazy cross-dressing brother of a god going shopping in New York? How could that go wrong at all?" Tony throws up his hands.

Wanda glares, "Find your heart, Tony. He is a hurt young man with no one to turn to. Were he anyone else you would not be so unkind."

"Yeah, but he's not somebody else. That's kind of the problem."

"You know nothing of him."

"And you do?"

"Yes. I at least know his favourite colour and the length dress he favours."

"See, there we are with the cross-dressing again."

"He is transgender. When you see him as a woman, he is a she. Not a cross-dresser, but a woman. And I expect you will mind that. We are done here." She leaves.

Steve looks from face to face, "That went well."


	8. Chapter 8

Natasha doesn't entirely know what to believe about Loki. It is obvious, though, that there will be no help from Tony. And there might be from Bruce, so she leaves. She searches for a few days before she finds the island she is looking for. She touches down the quinjet and when she disembarks, someone familiar is waiting for her.

"Bruce."

"Hey, Nat."

She runs to him and hugs him, kisses him, runs her fingers through his hair. He lets her, but then gently pushes her back.

"I've missed you."

"I know. But you know I can't come back."

"Yeah. I do."

"So if you aren't here to convince me that the world needs Dr Banner, what are you here for?"

"To ask you something."

"OK, shoot."

"What is it like looking at your body and knowing it's not really the one you should be in?"

"Huh? Why do you want to know that?"

"Because we've got a guy...girl?...at the tower right now who is transgender. A shapeshifter. OK, a former shapeshifter. Loki. We've got Loki at the tower. And he used to just turn into a woman when his brain said he was one. But Odin cast him out and now he's no better than the rest of us. Lifespan. No magic. Same strength as any slightly emaciated 20 year old."

"That must really tear him up. And be hard on you guys."

"Wanda's been spending a lot of time with him. He tried to kill himself."

"I know what that's like."

"And none of us know anything about what it feels like to not be living in the right 'us'. I need you to tell me so I can figure out how to help him."

"You flew all the way out here to ask me that? A transgender blog wasn't good enough?"

"It's a crappy excuse to see you, but it worked."

He smiles and shakes his head, "There's nobody else with you?"

"No. Just me."

"OK. Let's go back to the hutt and we'll have a nice long talk."

And they do, but at first it is only polite plesantries. How the others are doing. What SHIELD has done since his departure. How Wanda, Sam, and Vision are adapting to life as Avengers.

But he finally does get to talking about himself and about what it feels like to live in the wrong body. It is not entirely analogous, though, as Bruce is more of a passenger in Hulk's body and mind than he is himself. But he tries.

"You can't just expect him to do this on his own, Nat. He'll kill himself. Or somebody else."

"Wanda's taking care of him when Thor's not around."

"But that's not going to be enough. He's going to need a community."

"Like what we were for you."

"Yeah. Science bros. And you figuring out how to tame the big guy. And Thor's attempt at being comforting...even when it was a total failure. Nick even asking me to be on the team. And Cap's perpetual encouragement. Even Clint letting us into his home. All these things told me you guys cared enough to deal with the rage."

"So what do we do for Loki? Tony's not exactly a prime example of sensitivity. And Cap's still a few decades behind trying to understand what 'transgender' is. Sam and James are listening and learning when Wanda talks, and you know Vision just cares about people living. But I don't know if he'll trust them. Right now, it's just Wanda."

"And what has she done that made him do that?"

"She treated him like a person. From the first minute he was in the tower. And when he tried to kill himself she ran to him and sat with him before the medics got there."

"And? Did any of you go to him after? Show him life was worth living?"

"Steve followed her and sat with him for a while. Wanda stayed up all night. Clint called Thor. Nobody else knew what to do. We can handle everbody trying to kill us, and we can handle killing the bad guys, but somebody committing suicide..."

"None of you've tried it."

"No."

"Only me."

"Yeah."

"And that's another reason you came to me. You need to know how to deal with that, too."

"I guess."

"You can't. It won't just get better. He won't be fixed in a day or two. You've got to teach him how to live with himself."

"But how do we even do this?"

He just sighs, "I think right now maybe you just need to let Wanda lead you in that. It sounds like she knows what he needs a lot better than the rest of you."

She doesn't like this answer, "But we have to be able to do something!"

"Nat, sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing. You guys haven't shown him you give a rat's ass about him yet. He's going to think something's up if you all suddenly want to get to know him."

"What do we do about the transgender thing?"

"You call him a him when he looks like a him and her when she looks like a her. How is this so hard?"

"Can you come back and help us?"

He shakes his head, "No. You're on your own. And that means you, like me, might be out of the picture."

They sit quietly for a little while as she tries to sort through this feeling of powerlessness. He makes tea and waits.

"Thank you, Bruce. Really. I don't have any idea what I'm doing and you're right. I just need to step back and let them lead. Just be available."

"And support her. Wanda's got a lot on her plate. She's going to need somebody to take care of her sometimes after she's done taking care of him."

"I can do that."

"There you go. Not everybody's going to be the hero all the time. Sometimes, we've got to be the guy keeping the hero going."

"I wish you'd let me be that for you."

"Sorry, I'm not the hero anymore. I'm not sure I ever was. I just destroyed stuff."

"You were a part of our team."

"Those days are over. But I'm grateful for them. Maybe someday I'll be back. But that's not what I need right now."

They spend a few more hours together before he walks her back to the quinjet, "Don't tell the others where I am, OK?"

"Anything you ask. I'll take that secret to the grave if you want me to."

"Thank you, Natasha."

She kisses his cheek and a few moments later, is in flight.


	9. Chapter 9

Loki sleeps. Wanda sits with her tea. And Natasha returns to the tower. She meets Tony and he tries to interrogate her, but she brushes him off. She heads straight for Wanda's apartment. She knocks. The door opens.

"Good evening, Natasha."

"Hi."

"What can I help you with?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yes, please do."

They settle on pillows and Wanda brings her tea, "Thanks."

"Of course. Did you find Dr Banner?"

"Yes."

"And did your conversation prove helpful?"

"Yeah, but not the way I thought it would."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. He pretty much told me I couldn't understand what Loki's going through. That I can't help. And the best thing we can do is wait and support you."

"That was not what you wanted to hear."

"No. I really wanted something more helpful. Like maybe how to deal with his identity issues, or how to understand this suicide thing. But I don't. I don't get any of it."

"You do not have to. Dr Banner was correct. You simply need to be here."

"What do you mean by that?"

"What care has anyone offered Loki since he arrived?"

"Only what you've done. I probably made it worse when I was with him in the medical centre. Steve's probably done the most good, keeping Tony in check. But what can we do? Bruce said he'd probably be suspcious if we all suddenly wanted to be his friends."

"That he would be. But it is not only Loki who needs friends."

"Yeah, I know. He said that. And we've been crap at that so far."

"Then be better."

Natasha sips her tea before answering, "Is it really that simple?"

"Yes. Come and have tea with me. Listen if I need it. And perhaps take me out for breakfast if I have had a particularly difficult day. But it is not like our missions. There is nothing complicated to figure out."

"What about the boys?"

"Find who may be friendly. Tell me so that I might bring them to him when the time is right. And help me to protect him from Tony. Loki does not need his crass comments. Nor do I. And most of you prefer Mr Stark living."

"That's a tall order."

"I am certain you can fill it."

Natasha smiles, "Thank you, Wanda. This has been a long day. More emotional than I thought it would be."

"It was for me as well."

"Oh?"

"Thor and I took Loki shopping. She is beautiful. And while there is much yet she needs, it was a wonderful start."

"So is Loki always 'she' now?"

"No. Only when she looks it. There will be other times Loki is 'he'. And we will come to see this as the nature of Loki, nothing less, nothing strange."

"Has Thor made any progress in looking for an apartment for him? Her? Shit."

"No. I have an idea, though."

"Oh?"

"Yes. My Magda. She lives a little outside the city in a very old row house. She may know of an empty home on her square."

"Do you think he'd like living there?"

"I do. I also think he would do well to know Magda."

"Have we met her?"

"No."

"How did you meet her?"

"She is a fellow Sokovian refugee. I met her in New York."

"I hope she can help."

"I am sure she can."

"Well, it's getting late. I should let you get some sleep."

Wanda walks her to the door, "Good night, Natasha. We will move forward together."

"Yeah. Together." She stops as she is leaving, turns back, and hugs Wanda, "I'm sorry I've sucked at this so far."

"Forward, remember?"

"Got it." Natasha smiles. "Good night."


	10. Chapter 10

A few days after Wanda calls Magda, she takes breakfast with Loki and tells him that there is a row house she would like to take him to see and a friend she would like to introduce him to. They are both in pajamas, though she knows Loki does not sleep in them. He asks how he should dress.

"However you like. Magda will open her arms to you whether you are in a suit or a gown."

"You are maddeningly unhelpful."

"I know."

"Would it help gain me some advice if I told you I am feeling very much a man today?"

"Then perhaps a suit? It is a very masculine manner of dress."

"I do not belive I have one."

"I can correct that."

He smiles, "A suit it is, then. I place my fashion in your hands."

"Perhaps you might consider placing such trust in me for something else as well?"

He raises an eyebrow, wary, "Oh?"

"Yes. Your hair," she reaches out and gently twists a lock, "it is a bit lank. Would you let me wash it?"

"Would you? The soap here is strange and I do not have the oils I would in Asgard. I can brush it all I like, but after a time...well, it is rather awful. And I miss how it used to feel."

"Draw your bath and I will fetch what I need from my flat."

He catches her hand as she draws it back and holds it in both of his, "Thank you. I still do not entirely believe your kindness is without a catch."

"It is. Now go. Get in the tub. I will be back shortly and after, I will make you tea."

He does as she asks and a few moments after he has slipped into the searing hot water, he hears the latch on the door, "I hope that is you, Wanda."

"It is."

"Thank goodness. It would have been a bit awkward had it been one of the others."

She enters the bathroom with a shower caddy and a folding stool, which she sets up at his head, "Oh? And why would it be?"

"Thor has told me that they are a bit strange about the naked body."

"Many of us are raised to see it as something to hide, yes."

"And you?"

"I was a HYDRA experiment- they used my anger and my love for Sokovia to recruit me against SHIELD. They undressed us in the name of science whenever they wished to see what effects the sceptre with the blue stone had on our bodies and minds. I am not uncomfortable with bodies. I have seen enough of them undressed, both dead and alive."

She works shampoo into his scalp and he leans back towards her, his eyes closed, "Dead?"

"We were not the only young adults they tried to enhance- to give super powers to. But Pietro and I were the only to survive. Until you have seen your peers convulse and scream into death, or burst into fire from the inside, or dash themselves to bits in their cells...that is horror. And my life after HYDRA took me."

She rinses his hair and he twists to face her, "I am so sorry...I brought the sceptre to this realm... I did not think it would be used by others."

"It was, and by the most despicable cretins I have met. Yet I live, and in a way, I would not be here had you not brought it to this place. Events intertwine."

"I suppose they do."

"Turn back around. I wish to use conditioner on your hair."

"What?"

"It would be like a hair oil, but not so greasy. It will help with the tangles. Trust me."

He rests against the tub and lets her massage his scalp. He finds himself humming with contentment. She again rinses his hair.

"Done. I will leave you to your bath."

"Thank you."

"Of course."

"Is this a common favour for friends to impart in this realm?"

"No, but I am happy to gift it. Relax. It will take me time to ready myself as well. And I will call for a suit."

She leaves and Loki sighs, happy in the warm water with clean hair. When he gets out, he finds a kettle hot on the stove and a tea service set out on the table..

His rest does not last long, though. Thor enters his apartment while he is lounging on the couch in his bathrobe, his arm over his eyes. He does not knock. He drops a large trunk beside the couch and Loki jumps.

"Good morning, Brother! You rest late."

"I have already had breakfast and bathed, you oaf."

"But you were napping on the couch."

"I am waiting for Wanda, if you must know."

Thor breaks into a grin, "Oh? In only your bathrobe?"

"No, Thor, not for that. She is bringing me a suit."

"A suit? Are you going somewhere today?"

"Yes. Her friend, Magda, may have found a home for me. She says it is called a row house."

"Jane lived briefly in a row house. It was nice. Very narrow, though."

"What other options do I have? Do you have a slate of housing to show me? Something I can choose from?"

Thor sighs, "No. Most of the landlords I have spoken to hesitate to rent anything to anyone connected to the Avengers."

"Oh?"

"Too disruptive and potentially destructive."

"Ah. Even though I am not one of you?"

"Yes. Because it is I who call them."

"I hope Magda does not share the same hesitency."

"If she is Wanda's friend, she will not. But enough of this. Are you not curious to see what it is inside the trunk?"

Loki kneels on the floor in front of it and unhasps the lid, "Of course I am." When he opens it, Thor is beaming, proud of what he has brought. Loki gently lifts out a bundle wrapped in fine linen and opens it on the couch cushion, "My scarves." He reverently brushes his hand across the silks.

"I know you like them. And they are beautiful."

"I do not know what to say."

"Keep looking. There are other things in the trunk."

Loki does. The next layer consists of soft shirts and trousers, the clothing he wore when studying or resting. A few vests. His favourite socks. And below that, his ceremonial armor.

"Father would not let me bring the helmet, but he allowed that I could bring you this. It took some convincing, but I thought you might like it as decoration, if nothing else. It is elegant and suits you well. Perhaps when Anthony has his charity ball, you could wear it."

Loki expects that this is the last layer in the trunk and goes to put the other things back in, "Thank you, Thor."

"Lift the armor."

Puzzled, Loki sets his other clothing back on the couch and carefully lifts the leather. Beneath it, he sees the shimmer of fine silk and his breath catches in his throat. He feels his chest tighten and he cannot stop from trembling as he lifts the topmost gown up to the light. A dark rose pink. The first gown his mother gave him.

"Thor, I..."

Thor sits beside him, an hand on his shoulder, as he draws out a butter yellow dress, less formal than the last, "I know they might not fit as they once did, but perhaps you could find a seamstress to alter them for you. But I know these were your favourites. Especially this next one."

Loki's fingers brush the black silk layers before he dares to lift them from the trunk. He stands, holding it up to himself. There is little doubt that it will need to be altered, but for a moment, he closes his eyes and holds it to himself, remembering what it felt like when the silk floated around him, resting on his curves, the fabric's drape light and dramatic, the bias cut of the skirts fluttering in cascading layers down his legs. He does not hear the door open and click softly closed, far lost in the memory.

Wanda silently crosses the room and perches on the edge of the couch, watching. She does not dare touch the piles of exquisite fabric on the cushions. When she sees his eyes open, his focus on the delicate beading along the collar of the gown, she reaches out and touches his back. He glances, a little surprised to find her there, and tries to force a smile. He sets the gown with the others and returns his attention to the trunk where there are two other dresses waiting, one in opalescent white, one in a dark, regal emerald. He holds up each, then repacks the trunk.

"Thank you, Thor. Thank you." He settles beside Wanda. Thor sits on his other side.

"You are welcome. If there are other things you wish me to bring, simply ask. I will do my best to either ask permission or smuggle them to you."

"You would do that? Remove things from Asgard against Odin's wishes?"

"Of course. I intend to assure your life here is comfortable."

Loki's fingers yearn for the black silk dress and he fiddles with the belt of his bathrobe, "You are supposed to be the good son. Not the rebellious and terrible one."

"You are not terrible."

"Then why did he cast me out? Why, Thor? I know what choices I made. I know they were not always rational. But did he truly have no hope for me?"

Thor sighs; he hates that he stands in this middle space, constantly trying to explain Loki to his father and Odin to Loki. But it is what it is. And he has had this conversation with Odin. It was not comfortable. It was hardly pleasant. But he had questions and they needed to be answered. So he asked.

"No. He thought it was the only hope left. That perhaps if you no longer thought yourself a god, you would once again remember how to live."

Loki does not answer; Wanda puts her arm around his shoulders and takes his hand, "Are you going to be alright?"

"I do not know."

"The gowns are gorgeous."

"Yes, they are. And they are a joy to wear. But I fear I will never fit them again."

"If you wish, I will be sure they do."

"How?"

"A debit card tied to a ridiculous amount of money thanks to Tony. I will find an expert seamstress, one well versed in fine garments."

"I do not know if I have the heart to risk damaging them. They are a relic of a life once loved."

She kisses his cheek, "You do not have to decide now. But you do have to get dressed. We do not want to keep Magda waiting." She places a neatly folded pile of clothing in his lap, "It is not so fine as your gowns, but perhaps it will do for now."

He brushes the fabric, "Is this also silk?"

"Of course."

He stands and steps carefully around the trunk, "I will be back shortly." He stops, then retrieves his favourite pair of socks from it.

Once he is in his bedroom, Thor speaks, "You and Loki are becoming quite close."

"Perhaps. I do not like to see someone so sad. I have had enough of sadness."

"From your home country?"

"In part. Our job is to fight, to see the worst of this world and stop it from destroying it. We see the devistation those things bring and we hear the screams. For once, I wish joy. And I can at least bring a little of it to him."

"Then you may be the only one who can."

"I think, in time, your gift of the trunk will do so as well. He can bloom here."

"You have great hope for him. More, I think, than anyone else."

"You do not?"

"I do, but I am wary. And I do not trust he will not self destruct instead."

She hears the bedroom door click, "I intend to do what I can to prevent that."

"Prevent what?"

She smiles broadly as he enters the room, "You from harming yourself." She straightens his lapel, more fussing for fussing's sake than actually fixing anything, "You look delightful."

"I think there is something missing."

"Oh?"

He crosses to the trunk and draws out a long silk scarf, "Yes. This."

"I saw the surveilance photographs from Stuttgart. We all wondered about the scarf."

"I have always liked it a little more than the others."

"There are shoes for you by the door. Gather what you wish to take with you- I am ready to go when you are."

Loki brings the shoes to the couch, "Would you like to go with us?"

Thor smiles, "I would love to, Brother." Thor hugs him with one arm.

"Then get ready you sappy sot," he is grinning as he playfully shoves Thor off him. It is the first time that Wanda thinks she is seeing a little of how the brothers used to act before the mess of the past few years and it makes her indescribably happy. Once they are ready, she leads them down to her car and they venture through the city.


	11. Chapter 11

When Wanda's little red car slows in front of one of the brick row houses in the middle of the block, Loki notices a few things. Firstly, from his vantage point in the back seat, the block looks remarkably long. Secondly, there is a lovely little park across the street, row houses on all four sides, that makes the area feel like a palace courtyard. Thirdly, there is a very tall woman with long, wavy red hair leaning on the rail of her front stoop, a coffee cup in her hands. She smiles warmly and waves for them to join her.

Wanda leaves the car and approaches her. Thor steps out and stretches. He pushes the seat forward so Loki can disembark. He is cautious as he rises, the open air feeling a little dangerous. He watches Wanda for his cues and follows her, Thor behind. He wishes he had something in his hands.

Magda opens her arms wide when Wanda nears the steps and meets her in a hug, "Darling! It's so good to see you on this beautiful morning! Come, come, introduce me to your friends." She kisses her on both cheeks, her bracelets jingling.

"This is Loki. He is looking for a place of his own. And following is his brother, Thor. Loki, Thor, this is Magda."

"Oh, it is so good to finally meet you both! Wanda has told me much about you." She embraces them each in turn, kissing both cheeks each time. Loki is prepared for this- on the drive, Wanda told them about Sokovian greetings. She gestures for them to follow her up the stairs, "There is time for coffee or tea before we see next door. Do step in a moment. It will be lovely." Her accent is thicker than Wanda's, and Loki finds each word a melody in itself, her voice rich and low, a little husky, and all together welcoming. Her layered skirts swish as she walks, her billowing blouse snug only at the waist where she wears a cinch. Loki cannot help but wonder about her story, her warmth, and how it is that she can so easily invite them into her home.

Wanda drops into a soft leather couch and gestures to the other seating in the living room, "Make yourselves comfortable."

"There you go again, my love, making this your home! You know I wish you really would one of these days."

"Some day, Magda. I promise."

"Yes, yes, of course. But do, my new friends, make yourselves comfortable. Coffee? Tea?"

Thor asks for coffee, Loki for tea, and Wanda for a glass of wine. Magda laughs and drifts to the kitchen.

"Have you known her long?" Thor asks.

"Long enough. Not every Sokovian knows one another in our homeland. We met in New York."

"You seem quite comfortable here."

"I am."

"Her home is as eclectic as your chambers in the tower."

"Yes, yes it is." She plucks a book from one of the end tables, "So that is where I left this. Hmmm. I wondered."

Magda returns with their drinks on a tray and sets them on the coffee table, "You did not wonder all too earnestly, as you did not call me in the week it has been here to get it back."

"It had best get comfortable- some day it will be at home here on the shelves."

Loki sips his tea and watches Magda as she sits beside Wanda on the couch, Wanda curling against her, pushing Magda's long waves back off her shoulder. They melt into one another.

"So, Loki," Magda asks, "tell me what it is you wish in a home. Do you wish to stay somewhere permanently? Are you looking to move again in a few years? Do you wish to rent or own?"

"I would like a place to call my own. For quite a long time, possibly the rest of my life. And I would like to own it."

"Lovely, lovely. Are you a quiet person or do you enjoy hosting parties and the like?"

"Quiet. To the point of hermitage."

"Also very good. These walls are not so thin, but a rambunctious party can be an annoyance. We will go next door when you finish your drinks. It is a nice house. The lower level steps out to the back garden, our first floors have our living rooms and kitchens. Up on the second floor there are two bedrooms and bathroom, and at the very top, a study or den. There is some furniture in it that the last people left."

"I have no furnishings of my own, so if they are adequate, I will likely use them."

"Nothing is in terrible condition. Some things need a bit of cleaning, but nothing is so disgusting that I would not use it as it is until you get around to it." Loki sets his cup down and regrets it, wishing he had something to do with his hands. He is a little impatient, but it seems too odd to pick the cup up immediately. He settles for smoothing the fringe on his scarf. Magda notices and sets down her own glass, rising and gesturing to the door, "Let us go look. I think you will like it."

As he follows her out, Wanda slides beside him and weaves her fingers with his, "You are nervous."

"Yes."

"Do not be. You are safe here."

"Perhaps. But what if there is something wrong and this is not the place for me? Thor has had no luck finding anywhere else I could go."

She smiles and squeezes his hand, "I have a good feeling about this. Do not fret."

"What other option do I have?"

"Trust."

They step into the bright sun and walk the short distance to the next set of steps. Magda opens the front door and they file into the row house. It is bare, and there are faded spots on the wall where pictures once hung in the entry way. The dining room and living room bleed together, separated only by a thin arch in dark wood. Someone has painted the baseboards, but Magda assures them that they can be restored to the same hue. A heavy ash dining table dominates the space, a plastic folding chair in one corner. The kitchen behind it is spacious and open, the entire back wall lined with windows, a full glass sliding door leading to a small deck with cast iron railings.

"You will love taking tea out there in the mornings. I will wave to you on my own deck. Mrs McGillan will be hanging her laundry. Down the way, a nice young man named Richard does some sort of tai chi in the garden early every day. We wave to each other as we see one another. The garden needs to be tended. There are some beautiful plants in there if you can find them." She leads them back into the house, up to the bedrooms and the large bathroom. She shows them the attic and then they go down to the ground floor, a large open space with a concrete floor and laundry tubs next to a modern washer and dryer. The room spills onto a broad brick deck. The garden stands in stark relief to the dim concrete walls. Loki wanders outside and stands one step from under the balcony. There would be things to do with the house. The entire thing would need to be repainted, the thinks, as it is all a horribly dull grey. And the carpeting all has to go. But it seems more and more manageable as he hears Magda talk of the work she has done on her own home. He wanders into the green, envisioning slightly unkempt beds wild with climbing roses and yarrow, paths between them leading to a reading nook hidden under an arbor, a small patch of soft grass for stretching out under the stars or cloud gazing. And then it hits him that he is thinking of this place as his home.

Thor walks over and stops just behind his shoulder, "What are you thinking, Brother?"

"I want to live here. To learn how to care for this place. And to replace the horrible beige carpet with polished floors, to restore the woodwork, paint the walls. Find a lighting fixture less awful than the one in the dining room."

"Wanda has found you a home. She reads you well."

"Yes, she does."

"Has she peered into your mind? She is incredibly powerful."

"No. Not that I am aware of."

"You would know. It is a feeling unlike any other."

"All I have felt is the start of a deep friendship."

"And for that I am glad. I took a risk, bringing you here. Jane is at a remote arctic research station, so she was not an option."

Loki leans into Thor and Thor wraps his arms around him, "Thank you for coming for me. For not leaving me alone."

"I now have two very good reasons to protect this realm."

"Yes, you do, you sentimental oaf." He gently shoves Thor, Thor laughs.

Magda and Wanda join them, "Are the brothers having a moment?" Magda asks.

Thor grabs Loki around the waist from behind and lifts him in a huge bear hug, "Oh yes, a very touching one."

"Put me down, you lumbering bilgesnipe!" They are both laughing asThor lightly drops him. Loki lands, cat like, in a crouch before straightening and flattening his suit, "You have no care for fine fabrics." He is only slightly irked, playing at haughtiness.

Magda giggles, "Well you boys certainly are fun. I hope that, if you move in, you have him over often."

"I do want this home. I will need help, though, as I have never owned a house and have no idea how to care for one."

"Wanda told me you had servants that did everything for you in Asgard."

"Ah. She told you of Asgard."

"Yes."

"I thought it would be easiest if we did not have to be silent about where you were from and why you were looking for a home of your own here, rather than living in the other realm with Thor." Wanda notices his demeanor change ever so slightly, "Are you offended?"

"No. But I do wonder if it changes at all how you," he addresses Magda, "have chosen to speak or interact with me."

"Not at all. I live an open life. And I would very much like a new neighbour."

"Has Wanda told you of my other peculiarity? One, she has told, is not so accepted in this realm?"

Magda gently places her hands on his shoulders; she is not quite as tall as he is, but close, "Yes, she has. And it's the same as mine. I've had my surgeries to live fully as a woman. I wasn't happy living between. But if you are, that is wonderful." Loki feels a weight lift from his shoulders and he does not know what to say. Magda takes him in her embrace, "That is partly why I was so eager to meet you. We are so fragile in the beginning. And yes, she told me of your shapeshifting and what has been taken from you. She thought it best I not be surprised."

Loki relaxes in her arms, "And you think no less of me?"

"Correct. Not even for attempting to take over Earth. We all make mistakes. We all rise to our worst natures at times. And when that is coupled with power and pain, how can I place blame? But we will only move forward. Sokovians are very good at this."

"You and Wanda are the most forgiving creatures in all the Nine realms."

Magda kisses his cheek, "Now that may be true. Though my darling girl does have the capacity to hold a grudge when it is deserved. So perhaps it is I who am the most forgiving creature in this world or any other." She pats his arm and then steps back, "So. To paperwork so that we might get you a house."

Loki turns to Thor, "Did Odin send you with any means for me to live here, or am I to rely on other means to secure my place?"

Wanda jumps in, "I have the Stark account. While I do not like you be indebted to him any more than I do myself, it is how we will get you started."

"Thank goodness you associate with a billionaire."

"It is quite helpful in times like this."

"You have bought a friend a house before on Stark's generosity?"

"It is how Magda came into this place."

"When she met me, I was homeless. I had immigrated here with the others after the destruction of our beloved city, but I had nothing when I arrived."

"I also forced Tony to open his eyes to the needs of our people and he set up a fund to house Sokovian refugees and give them a way to start their new lives. Clothes, food, little comforts. It was his fault we were left drifting, so I told him in no uncertain terms that he was to set it right."

When they return to the dining room of what will be Loki's home, Magda retrieves papers from one of the kitchen cupboards, "We will fill this out today."

"Do you own the house?" Thor asks.

"No. Our community does. We collectively own the homes that were rented. But now it will not be rented and it will be Loki's. It is quite exciting. The neighbours will be happy to meet you. We make this as easy as possible." A few signatures later and they are ready to return to Magda's home. She serves them sandwiches while they rest in her fluffy couches.

Loki still cannot entirely comprehend that within such a short time he has been kicked out of Asgard, stripped of his former life, tried to kill himself, made at least one friend, and is buying a house. It is all overwhelming and he is quiet as they eat. Thor knows he is lost in thought and will not interrupt. Wanda rests her hand on his knee, a gentle and steadying presence amidst his chaotic thoughts while she talks to Magda about the Avengers' latest mission, Thor filling in a few of the bits that he was involved in. And then the talk turns to what it is like in Asgard and Thor tells of their feasts and the glorious festivals in the cities. Loki tries to tune it out, but the conversation makes his heart ache.

"Brother, I will have to bring you back home for the feast in Mother's honour. Father has promised to hold it every year."

"Thor, please. Do not taunt me so. You know Odin will not likely permit such a thing. Those he casts out are not welcome to return."

"But-"

"No. Thor. Just no. It has not been long enough to talk of returning, even as your guest. And especially not for that."

Wanda feels the tension even where her hand rests, "Are there words you need to speak?"

"No. Frigga's death is not something I wish to discuss."

"Then we will not. We will seek lighter conversation."

Magda jumps in, "Such as when you wish to move in to your new home. I told our community council last night that I was today interviewing a kind, quiet young man looking for his first home. I noted that there was a brother who would likely be a frequent guest, but few others unknown to us and no other family. They told me to decide when I met you if you would do well here and I think you will."

"I own very little- a trunk and a few other items of clothing. The contents of my refrigerator and one cupboard. But nothing else. I can move in as soon as I am permitted."

"That's all you were allowed to bring with you? What did your father expect you to do once you arrived here?"

He takes Wanda's hand, "Odin did not send me with the trunk or clothing. He cast me out, naked, and I shivered a night in the desert before Thor found me and clothed me. What I have is thanks to him, Wanda, and to Mr Stark, who prefers I not wander about his tower, an unwelcome guest already, in only my skin. Wanda saw to it that I was fed and procured my suit."

Magda sighs, "Your family sounds more complicated than mine."

"Oh?" He is eager to turn the conversation back to his hostess.

"My mother, eldest brother, and three sisters are still in Sokovia. My father died during the Ultron incident. My four other sisters and youngest brother immigrated to this country. My grandparents think we are traitors to Sokovia, but insist that we still visit. And while most of them have adapted to calling me Magda, there are a few who still insist on an older name and gender."

"Are names strictly gendered where you are from?"

"Yes, though there are some names which are female forms of male ones. Those with such names have an easier time. I had a very different name. I chose Magda. I like it, it suits me."

"It is a very pretty name."

"Do you use a second name?"

"No. Always Loki."

"Is it a name that goes both ways?"

He grins a little, "In Asgard there was only one Loki. The names of the royal family cannot be used by others. I suppose here I am not so unique."

Magda rises to refill tea and coffee cups, "It is not your name that makes you unique, my dear. You are still the only you in this world or any other."

By the time they leave the row house and return to the tower, Loki feels once again like an unwanted guest, the perception helped along by Tony's glare as they cross through the tower lobby. But he has a little hope this time. There is a home waiting for him and he already has befriended one of his neighbours.


	12. Chapter 12

Wanda returns to her apartment and Tony is waiting for her, "OK, so what's the deal? You and Loki are together a lot. And by a lot, I mean a lot a lot. And then you go for a drive today with he and Thor. Where'd you go?"

"I am surprised you did not have us followed."

"To be blunt, I'm afraid you'd make my brain melt out my ears if I put a bug on your car. And not because I bugged it, but because I touched your car."

"That is probably true."

"Could you really do that? Melt my brain?

"Would you like to find out?"

"What exactly is it, anyway?"

"The car?"

"Yeah. I've never seen anything like it. I can't believe you had me import it. It sounded like death when you started it the first time. Smelled like it, too."

"It began its life as a Trabant. It has been intensely modified."

"Yeah...you should let me work on it sometime."

"You do remember that a moment ago you mentioned your brain melting from your ears should you touch my car?"

"OK, OK, I won't touch it. Even to make it run better."

"It runs fine, thank you."

"It doesn't shriek anymore, I'll give you that. And there's no cloud of smoke coming up from under it."

"There is little left of it that is original."

"Didn't you replace the body panels?"

"Yes."

"That was the one thing on the car that seemed OK."

"It is clear you know nothing of Trabants. The body panels were cotton and wood infused with plastic. It is known as the worst car ever made for a good reason."

"O...K... Why did you want this car again?"

"Because it is my car. And I did much work on it before Pietro and I were recruited to HYDRA. That I even found it is a miracle- a much modified thing that somehow survived against all odds...much like we did."

"So it's a symbolic thing."

"Yes and no. Now will you excuse me? I would like to rest. It has been a long day."

"You never answered what you were doing."

"I found him a home. He will move in when Magda calls."

"Magda?"

"Yes, a friend of mine. Now please step aside."

Tony does, but not without another question, "I don't know what you are to him, but it's kind of freaky how much you do with him."

"No more than spending time with any other friend."

"You never let me take a ride in your car."

"That is because I still do not trust you. In a fight? Yes. But with the rest of my life? I am sorry. No."

The door clicks closed behind her.

That evening, Magda calls. Loki is free to move in whenever he wishes. Wanda goes to his apartment and knocks, but he does not answer. She tries the knob and it opens. The rooms are dark, except for a nightstand lamp in the bedroom. She checks on him. He is naked, his covers tossed and twisted around his legs. She wonders if he has been having nightmares. She concentrates and carefully lifts him enough to tug the blankets free, then lowers him and drapes them over him.

"Rest, my friend. Your life is bringing you so many big changes..."

She closes his door and leaves a note on his dining table, locking his apartment after her as she exits.


	13. Chapter 13

Loki wakes up and turns over. His door is closed. He does not remember closing his bedroom door. He tosses the blankets off and dresses in the softest shirt and trousers in the trunk, relishing the feeling of the fine knits against his skin. He ties his hair back and heads to the kitchen. There is a note on the table.

 _"I was here to tell you the news last night, but you were sleeping. Magda has everything in order and you have a home of your own. I have told no one yet. You may move in when you are ready."_

He reads the note again, "I have a home?" He is both terrified of moving out of the tower where, even though he is rather hated, he at least knows people, and thrilled at the prospect that he might find his own place in this world. He decides against breakfast and, barefoot, leaves his quarters to find Wanda.

When he knocks on her door, she answers with her tea in hand and invites him in. The colours and textures of her drapes, pillows, and blankets delight him. He has never seen a room both so comforting and so exotic. He settles into a pile of pillows on the floor and she brings him tea, relaxing into a bean bag chair.

"Good morning, my friend."

"Good morning, Wanda. I saw your note."

"Yes? Are you excited?"

"Yes...and frightened."

"Do you care to say why?"

"What if I cannot adapt to this world? At least here I know who I can ask for help."

"You will have Magda next door. And I am only a phone call away. I am confident you will learn how to live here."

"I don't know how to procure food, to wash my own laundry...this place is still foreign."

"I understand. But you are not alone. Do not ever think that you are."

"Will you teach me these things?"

"Magda and I both will. And Thor has learned some of these things as well."

"Thor will not have time to help me. He is running between two worlds. My life as a mortal will fade from his sight as he learns to rule Asgard."

Wanda sets her tea aside and pulls her bean bag closer so she can take his hands, "Is this what you fear? Your brother forgetting you?"

"Yes."

"I can make you no promises. But I will do my best to remind him when he is here to visit. It is what little I can do."

"Thank you."

"Now...what do you want to do today?"

Loki's thumbs trace gentle circles on the backs of her hands, "I suppose start a new life in a new home."

"I will call Magda and when you are ready, we will pack your belongings into the car. Have you had breakfast?"

"No."

"Would you like it?"

"I do not know."

She nods, then stands, tugging on his hands, and he follows, "Come. Fruit, yoghurt, and music videos on YouTube."

"YouTube?"

"Yes. On the internet. I have been listening to Lindsay Stirling play the violin in these recordings on the internet all morning. Let me introduce you to a bit of Midgard's lesser known music."

He lets her lead him to the kitchen, "I place my auditory education in your capable hands."

After breakfast, they load the car. He owns little enough that a few paper bags, her carry-on bag, and the trunk are all they need to pack. In one load, they are ready. The chest balances awkwardly in the trunk of the car and they drive slowly to the row house. Magda is once again waiting on the front porch, a steaming mug of coffee in her hand, her red hair a waterfall glimmering in the morning light. She meets them at the car and greets everyone with her hug and kisses. Thor hefts the chest on his shoulder. Magda leads them to Loki's flat and unlocks the door with a flourish.

"Welcome home, darling!" She hugs him again, "I am glad Wanda has brought you here. I have a feeling our lives will be the better for it."

He allows the embrace to linger, "Thank you. I hope I will be a good neighbour." Wanda slips by them with the paper grocery bags and sets them on the kitchen counter before returning to the car for the other bag.

"You will be. I have not yet been wrong about who will fit in well here, all of us imperfectly perfect for this community."

"Thank you."

"You are ever welcome. Now, I took the liberty to put together a few things for you here. Of course, this is your home," she hands him the key, "and you may change things as you wish. But there is a bed in one of the bedrooms, with a new mattress and clean sheets. A fluffy towel in the bathroom, and a set of dining room chairs, and a percolator. A couch in the living room, and small coffee table."

"That is more than a few things."

She smiles, "Well, we will still have much to do to settle you in, but I did not want to overwhelm you. It is enough to get by until you wish to shop for other things."

"Again, thank you."

They head up the stairs and Thor deposits the trunk in the bedroom, Wanda sets the bag on top of it, "What do you wish to do next?"

"I do not know. What do I need to do next?"

"Relax in your own home." Wanda smiles, "Shall I make coffee?"

"I do not have coffee, do I?"

"I slipped a few things in my bag before we left. I will show you how to use the percolator."

Loki hovers over her shoulder in the kitchen, watching closely, and after, he opens the door to the balcony and sits, leaning against the railing, sipping his coffee, with his brother and two friends. Magda and Wanda are not shy about snuggling together with the brothers in the slight morning chill and they giggle as they jostle legs and try not to spill their coffee. He enjoys the closeness. The warmth of bodies. He finds himself regularly chilly in this realm and he realises that his origins in Jotunheim must have kept him from cold. But it is more than just warmth that he finds himself relishing. It is companionship with no conditions and the kind of gentle touch he has not received since his fall from the Bifrost, touch that expects no further intimacy or advances. He knows this is not how Thor is with the Avengers and wonders what is different in these friendships.

It is not long before Thor and Wanda are called back to the tower on urgent Avengers business and Loki is left with only Magda. They sit in the dining room at the old ash table with coffee and a quick lunch she brings over from her own home.

"So, Loki. We have a few options. I can leave you to yourself to get settled. Or we can shop. Or I can give you the same sort of tour I give as part of my work- the 'welcome to a first world country, here is how everything functions' tour."

"A first world country?"

"A technologically advanced nation. Many of the people I work with come from places with no running water, pit toilets, and the most basic of houses. They have never seen washing machines for laundry, toasters, or even our stoves. So I must teach them."

"What sort of work is it you do?"

"I work for a refugee organization. I was hired after so many Sokovians came here and needed help becoming Americans. Wanda told Mr Stark that he was going to create a large assistance fund or she would take matters into her own hands. He created the thing that destroyed our home. He did as she demanded, and so I started working with only my own people. But now I help many others as well."

"How did you know you could do such work? Had you done it before?"

"Not in that way, no. I had been helping transgender people live beautifully for a few years in Sokovia and then here. It was not so difficult to believe I could do the same for my refugee fellows."

"How many years has it been since Ultron?"

"Five. And they were very long ones, indeed. But our lives are, for most of us, settling into this nation. There are still struggles, but we are learning."

"Ah. Do you think I will learn? And how can I learn an occupation when I do not even know what is available? This world is so different than mine..."

"We will venture out and find out what you would like to try. Let go of your worries. You are not alone and neither Wanda nor I will let you drown here."

He smiles, "I seem to be thanking you quite a lot today...but thank you. Again."

"And as always, you are welcome."

"I think I would like that tour now."

Magda offers her hand and he takes it as she stands, "Come, then. Let me teach you to use a toaster."


	14. Chapter 14

A few days after he moves in, Loki gets ready to go shopping with Magda. He looks in the mirror and finds his cinch. It is a day to be she. And she loves the long swishing trousers and peasant top that Magda brought over after seeing some of the clothing from Asgard in the trunk. They are comfortable and make her feel more a part of Midgard. She does her hair and makeup and smiles at her reflection in the mirror. She feels like she might actually be able to make this work without shapeshifting. On her way past the closet, Loki touches the gowns from the trunk. Perhaps she will ask Magda about finding a tailor skilled enough to work in fine silk.

Downstairs, she has a quick breakfast and then writes out a list sitting at the table. Over the past few days, she has fallen in love with it, a reminder that even here in this world, she is a part of Yggdrasil, even if she can no longer feel the power of its branches. Her fingers absentmindedly trace one of the rings as she writes out what things she thinks she might like. A nice set of dishes. Coffee and a few big mugs. Books. She wants to turn the attic into a library. And groceries, though she has no idea what foods she will find in the stores here.

Magda knocks and she calls for her to enter. Magda already acts like an old friend. They embrace and greet one another with kisses on their cheeks.

"Are you ready to venture out today?"

"Yes. But I have no idea what it is I might need."

Magda glances over the list, "Perhaps we might add some cleaning supplies to your list- I do not like the harsh chemicals I have found here, but I will teach you how to do things more simply, as we did back home."

"I would appreciate that. Is there anything else you see missing? I believe food and books are all I need."

"I do not see anything wrong with that. We shall see what we find in the stores. They are set up to try to sell you things you do not need, things you might like for convenience. We will be wise in our spending, though."

"Do you have a car? Or is there another way to get to these places?"

"I have a car. It is bigger than the little tin can Wanda is so fond of."

"I will welcome more room for my legs."

Magda laughs and they leave the apartment with the list. Magda's sleek black Mercedes impresses Loki- it is so different than Wanda's little red Trabant. They are out for a few hours and by the time they are done, she welcomes the comfortable dark interior as a shelter from the overwhelming nature of the farmer's market, the bath and kitchen store, and the bookstore. After the large store and busy market, the bookstore, smaller than a single floor of her row house, was stacked floor to ceiling with overcrowded shelves and was a welcome retreat.

In the car, she reached back for the bag of books and tugged one out, "Which one are you going to read first?"

"Whichever one is on top."

Magda laughs, "Of course. That is the best option when in the car, no?"

"Yes."

"So? Which is it?"

"William Blake. 'Songs of Innocence and Experience'. Poetry."

"Ah, yes. The Blake. He is a beautiful writer."

She reads intently while the car hums along on their way back to the row houses. When they arrive, she carefully tucks the book back in the bag and they unload the car. While they do, Magda notices they are being watched by a group of young men in the square. She knows them, and she does not like that they are so intently observing them.

"Be wary of those youth, Loki. They are trouble."

"Oh? What sort of trouble?"

"Inside. I will tell you inside." They finish bringing in the last of the groceries, "Shall we put away groceries?" Loki nods and points to where she wants things stored as Magda talks, "They have said some fairly awful things to the women living here. Mrs McGillan. Myself. And when they began to believe that Wanda might be more than simply my friend, it grew worse. They do not live here. I will call the police when I return home. They are not welcome and this is a private square."

"Have they harmed anyone?"

"They have threatened, but not done so yet. I am afraid of them."

"Ah. I am sorry to hear this."

"Be careful. Loki."

Once they are done, and she helps her cook supper, Magda retires to her own flat for the evening. Loki checks out the front window and does not see the young men. She brings the Blake poetry with her and steps out for a walk around the park and then some time to read in the evening light. She chooses her bench and turns her attention to the page.

"Hey, what are you?"

She looks up, "Excuse me?"

One of the young men from earlier in the day slaps her book up, "You heard me. What are you?"

"A person like so many others." She attempts to continue reading.

"Ha ha. Clever answer. But that's not what I asked. Are you a dyke? Fag? Tranny?"

"I do not wish to converse. Leave me to my reading, please."

He snatches the book and throws it over his shoulder, "Answer my question, bitch."

"I prefer not to." And as soon as the words leave her lips she knows it was the wrong answer. Someone shoves her from behind and she is dragged off the bench. The young man in front slaps her and she resists the urge to fight back, still hoping for a different resolution.

He yanks her hair, "What's this, a wig?" When her hair doesn't budge, he uses it to pull her down to her knees, "Oh we could have some fun here, couldn't we? Look at you, fucking whore. Tricking us guys, trying to fake being a woman..."

Loki keeps her breathing even, trying desperately to keep her rising fear at bay, "Let me go."

"Or you'll do what?"

"I can do little at the present, but you will rue this when my brother gets word."

"Oooh, the big scary brother! I'm trembling!" They laugh and her arms are roughly yanked behind her back, "You are going to regret the day you put on lipstick..." He lets go of her hair and one of the others takes it. First comes a kick to the stomach, then a punch in the face.

"Please, just let me be..." But the plea is cut off with another kick and she sags to the ground.

Her hair is used against her, "Kneel, bitch. Don't you go falling over. We're not done yet, and I'm going to need you on your knees in a little while."

Panic floods Loki's mind and she tries not to show it. Another blow lands on her jaw, then one to the side of her head. She tastes blood. And then there are sirens and flashing lights and she is dropped to the ground. Someone gets in one last kick before running away. She pries herself from the dirt and wipes blood from the corner of her mouth, crawling back to the bench to lean against it. Her head aches. Her jaw pops as she opens it and rubs the joint. Footsteps run after the young men.

Someone crouches beside her, "You OK...er, Miss?"

"I think I will be."

"What'd they do to you?"

She looks at the speaker- blue uniform, official looking hat, and a name badge, "Kicks in the stomach. A few punches to my head. Pulling my hair. But nothing worse."

"Do you need us to call an ambulance?"

"No."

"Name and address?"

"Loki Odinson. And I only just moved in. My address is that one...blue door."

"Did you get a good look at any of them?"

"The one in front of me. A young man. No hair. A narrow face, his cheekbones prominent. Black trousers. A baggy shirt- white, with a logo of some sort on the front. Button up."

"You've got a good eye. White or black skin?"

"Pale, like my own."

"Did they take anything?"

She pats her trousers and feels her keys, "Only my book. He tossed it over his shoulder. Poetry- William Blake."

"OK. We'll look for it. Do you need help getting home?"

"I don't think so."

The officer helps her up, "You sure you don't want us to call an ambulance? Make sure they didn't bust your spleen or something?"

"I will be fine. I just need to rest."

"OK, but you call 911 if you feel funny."

"Thank you."

Loki walks slowly towards her row house, still stunned by what has happened. Magda opens her front door and runs out to meet her.

"Oh my god, what happened?" She puts her arms around Loki to steady her.

"The young men were none too pleased that I was in the park."

"What did they do to you?"

"Called me names I do not understand and struck me. What does it mean to be called a fag? Or tranny?"

Magda's face falls and she tries to keep from crying, "Oh Loki...you're such an innocent to this... I do not want to have to explain these things, but I will once you are comfortable."

"They are that bad?"

"Yes, they are."

"Oh..."

"I wonder who called the police?"

Loki fumbles with her key. Magda steadies her hand. She tosses it on the dining table and drops onto the couch. Magda makes tea and then settles beside her to tell her what the words mean and to talk her through her first encounter with transphobia. It is not a new experience, this short debriefing. She has done it many times, but it still hurts. When she is done, Loki asks for time alone and Magda grants it on one condition- that she promise to call if she feels like hurting herself. And Loki agrees. There is honest, deep concern in Magda's eyes and she kisses Loki's forehead before she leaves.

The moment she is in her own home, she calls Wanda, "I think you need to call Loki."

"Why? Is he struggling?"

"She just experienced her first hate crime."

Wanda nearly drops the phone, "Is she going to be alrignt?"

"I think so. Bruises, but nothing more serious, that she told me about. But I am worried. She is sitting in the dark in her house. I had to explain the words... Just call. Please. She needs to hear your voice. She trusts you. And she asked me to leave."

"I will. Thank you, Magda. For taking care of her as much as you could."

"I just hope the police catch those assholes."

"They had better hope the police find them before Thor does."

"Well they certainly would never consider it again if he took matters into his own hands, now would they?"

"They would not be capable of it."

"I would not be sad for them, Wanda. Not after all I have heard them say. And not after seeing the look on Loki's face when I had to explain to her the history of the word fag."

"Oh...god..."

"Yes. I will go. You, call." Magda hangs up.

Wanda calls. The phone rings and rings. Voicemail. She hangs up. She calls again. This time she leaves a message. Then she calls again. And again. And then she throws her phone in her bag, grabs her keys, and runs down the stairs.


	15. Chapter 15

Wanda pulls onto the street and parks haphazardly. There are still police in the area, knocking on doors, trying to find witnesses. She hardly notices, locking the car and dashing up Loki's steps. She knocks.

One of the officers calls to her, "Ma'am? Do you know Ms Odinson?"

"Yes."

He hands her a book, "Here. She was looking for this." Wanda takes it and brushes the dirt from the cover, "She mentioned it. Seemed like it's important."

"Thank you. Books are precious to her."

"She wouldn't let us call an ambulance."

"I will talk to her. She trusts me."

"Can I ask a personal question?" He lowers his voice.

"Yes?" Wanda leans over the rail to hear him better.

"Is she a he? Is that why she doesn't want to go to the hospital?"

"Yes, she is gender fluid. A type of transgender. And she is new to this country. Have compassion- she does not want to risk what it could be like at a hospital."

The officer nods, "I understand. My cousin is, too."

"Excuse me. I must go check on her."

"Of course."

Wanda turns back and knocks on the door again. No answer. She digs her key from her bag and lets herself in. The row house is still dark. She walks into the dining room an sees the keys tossed there. She turns to the living room and does not see anyone on the couch. But sitting beside the couch, huddled in the corner, is Loki, hugging her knees. Wanda drops her bag and wedges herself beside her friend, facing her.

"Here is your book."

She takes it and smooths the bent corner, "Thank you."

"Magda told me what happened."

"I thought she might." Loki sniffs and pushes her mussed hair back from her face, "Are there many people who are like that?"

Wanda wipes the streaked mascara from her cheek with her thumb, "There are some. I am so sorry, my friend." She leaves her palm resting on her face and Loki leans into the warmth of her hand.

"Why? Why is it such a terrible thing in this realm to be what I am?"

"I have seen those who use religion to justify this. I see fear in the eyes of those who scream the most loudly. And yet I do not understand how someone can see another and consider them worthy only of pain."

"I do not belong here, Wanda."

"But Magda and I believe you do belong right here with us."

"Nothing is right. This isn't right." She touches her breasts and her nipped in waist, "I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to be able to do what I used to be able to. I want things to be normal again. _I_ want to be normal again."

Wanda holds her close, "I cannot undo what has been done. I cannot change Odin's mind and send you back to Asgard."

Loki twists and winces, jerking back, "That hurt."

"Where?"

"Here." She places a hand over her stomach. Wanda presses her hand against her and feels only the cinch.

"Will you allow me to loosen it?"

"Please."

She eases the cinch loose and unhasps the busk, then gently presses on Loki's abdomen where there is a bruise darkening, "May I check a different way?"

"What sort of way?"

"I cannot describe it well, but..." She holds up her hand and misty red tendrils snake up from her palm, "This. It is energy. It is with my mind. But I cannot tell you more than that. It was gifted to me by the sceptre and the work of HYDRA."

"Is it magic?"

"Of a sort...perhaps. I do not rightly know."

Loki is suspicious of this unknown sorcery, especially knowing it comes from the sceptre, but she also trusts Wanda far more than she thought she would trust anyone in such a short time. That she is an ally of Thor's helps, but moreso it is her kindness that has won her over.

"And you wish to use it to do what?"

"Look inside you. To feel where you hurt. And to see what it is that causes it."

"Will it hurt?"

"I do not know. I have only done this with Pietro as a curiosity." Loki still hesitates, so Wanda uses her little red tendrils to lift a towel from the back of one of the dining room chairs and brings it to her. She gently wipes Loki's smudged cheeks, "Do not let this stop you from being who you are."

"And who is that, exactly? I fear I do not exactly know."

"You are beautiful, my friend. And you are dear to Magda and myself. And you are Thor's sibling, no matter where you are. Because you are Loki. And I should check to make sure my Loki is not in need of a doctor. If you were anything like Thor before, this body is much more fragile than the one you once wore." Loki shifts her blouse and Wanda lays her hands on warm skin, "Are you ready?"

"Yes."

Wanda concentrates on her hands, her fingers pressing a in a few different places as she examines his organs, "Nothing seems out of place. Bruised deeply, yes, but you do not need to visit the hospital." Loki exhales a breath she did not realise she had been holding and cuddles against Wanda, "Rest. I will stay as long as you need me."

"Did you tell Thor what happened?"

"No. He has returned to Asgard. I cannot call."

"Oh."

"I am sorry. Would it comfort you if he were here?"

"Yes."

There is a sharp rapping on the door and Loki tenses; a harsh voice calls, "Hey! Come out and play, bitch!"

"It's him. Oh no, Wanda, he's back..."

"You stay here. I will deal with this."

"Where are the police? Don't go out there, you don't know what he'll do. Or if his friends are with him."

She stands, and he forces himself farther into the corner, "I am an Avenger. I can think of no better use of my title than to Avenge the wrong done against a friend."

"Be careful," she whispers. But Wanda does not hear her. Red crackles around her and she opens the door without touching it.

The young man on the other side stares, "Not you, the other one. The tranny."

Wanda says nothing, wrapping her tendrils around him and the two companions standing behind him. She raises them up and they shout for her to put them down. She does not. She tosses them into the ash in the centre of the park. They yell obscenities as she dials the police. And then she closes the door and returns to Loki.

"What happened?"

"I placed them in the ash at the centre of the square."

"What?"

"Up quite high. They will not be able to come down easily. I do not think they will escape before the police find them."

"With your magic? Or whatnot?"

"Yes. With the whatnot."

She crawls out of the corner and Wanda helps her to the couch. She stretches out and covers her eyes, exhausted. Wanda perches on the edge by her waist.

"What are you thinking, Loki?"

"How will I ever fit into this world? Even if I can do what I must to force this body into the right shape when it is needed, it is still not enough. I must find work, but I know nothing of what work even _is_ in this realm. I must learn to navigate obtaining groceries, procuring or sewing clothing, and to determine if an encounter is safe or not. And I must some day discover how to meet people and make their acquaintence."

"What were your skills in Asgard?"

"Sorcery, knife fighting, flying a skiff, wreaking havoc in the palace, and despotically ruling things."

"Hmm...well we do not need any more despotic rulers at this time, but perhaps we can use your leadership skills and daring to find you work. Have you considered perhaps spending a day with Magda to see what it is she does?"

"Refugee work?"

"Yes. For the part of the day she is paid for. The last few hours before she comes home, she works at a transgender resource centre and shelter for homeless teenagers. Both jobs mean a great deal to her. Perhaps this sort of work would for you, too."

"You are far more hopeful than I am."

"You have had a terrible experience with just how awful people can be. You do not need to have hope. I can carry it for you until you can have me return it."

"That is a unique turn of phrase."

"It is Sokovian, translated, of course. We acknowledge despair and allow it shown. This country prefers to keep it hidden."

"Asgard also wishes it hidden."

Wanda rests her arm across Loki's stomach, "I do not think such a thing is healthy. Hidden things are feared and fear leads to anger and lashing out at those things feared..." Her hand drops down Loki's side and she gives her a squeeze.

"Wanda? Why is it that you and Magda touch so often? You both touch one another, and you touch me- even Thor. But Thor's friends do not touch at all unless utterly necessary." Wanda starts to draw her arm back, but Loki catches it, "I never said I wanted you to stop."

"It is a cultural difference. They grew up here, where most people survive a natural life, where children grow up. Sokovia has had many years where these things were not true. We learned to value being close to others. It was still this way when I was a child. There were bombs falling from the sky... So we touch. We greet with an embrace and kisses. We hold hands. We show affection as often as we can. Because we learned that one skipped opportunity could be a last chance we ever had. Do you not touch in Asgard?"

"Only when we are children. And Thor still does, as it is acceptable for brothers. But it falls off when we grow up. Friends stop snuggling by the fireside, falling asleep in a heap. No more holding hands racing down the halls. Or curling up together under blankets in a field without assumptions."

"Do you miss it?"

"I crave it. I do not know how others survive so well without such contact."

"I promise you Magda and I will always treat you as one of us. We will touch. We will hold hands, and we will kiss in greeting and kindness."

After a moment of quiet, Loki asks, "Will you stay in my guest room tonight?"

"Yes. I am supposed to meet with Natasha about a new mission in the morning, but she can wait."

"Thank you." She sits up and Wanda hugs her. She leans her head on her shoulder and cries. Wanda strokes her hair and whispers comforts in her ear in both English and Sokovian. When she has calmed, Wanda cooks and they spend a little time with her William Blake poetry. Wanda sees her to her bed and then retires to the guest room. She sets her alarm for a few hours out for a check in. Once Loki is asleep, she will rest more easily.


	16. Chapter 16

Wanda checks on Loki a few times through the night and all is well when she does. No suicide attempts, no nightmares, just deep and peaceful sleep. Each time, she carefully adjusts any slipped blankets and makes sure the room is neither too hot or too cold, and returns to her own bed for a few hours of rest.

Loki wakes with the grey dawn and dresses in the softest clothes he has clean. Today he feels no strong preference for one gender or another and he wonders if his experience yesterday has turned him away from wanting to be either. He brushes his hair and lets it fall loose, opens the windows to allow the morning chill into his bedroom, and pads down the hall to the guest room. Wanda sleeps deeply, her wrinkled penguin pajamas twisted around her, the blankets sliding off the bed. Loki does his best to adjust them back to her, but hesitates to touch her. Tendrils of red, her whisps, as she called them last night, dance around her body, some close, some snaking out, crackling as they reach too far, snapping back. He avoids them, but decides to take a risk and kiss her forehead the same way she has done for him. He is fine until he goes to stand. One catches his temple, whipping towards him as though she knows he is there, freezing him. He watches the dream in her place, or at least he thinks it is a dream, horrified. The roar of falling concrete. A building collapsing on her. Pietro screaming her name, she screaming his. And then a laboratory. The sceptre. Bodies. So many bodies. So much more screaming. It ends when Pietro dies and Wanda cries out in her sleep, jerking upright, knocking him backwards.

"I am so sorry, I was only in here to see if you were awake..."

"You kissed my hair."

"As I believe you have done for me. A gesture of kindness, is it not?"

She smiles, "Yes, it is." Her smile drops and her face is serious again, "What did you see? I know we...connected."

"So much death. There was a building collapse. And was that HYDRA? The sceptre... And the death of your brother."

"And I woke when he died."

"You woke yourself."

She pulls her knees to her chest, "Yes. That is not unusual."

"What can I do for you?" Her whisps have retreated. He reaches for her arm and she takes his hand.

"Nothing. This is part of my normal."

"Come now. You relive this every night? And yet you do not have an idea of something I can do to make it better?"

"Not quite every night. But frequently enough."

"That does not answer the question, Wanda."

She sighs, "Magda makes me hot chocolate."

Loki's face brightens, "I know how to do that and I have the ingredients. Magda insisted I even have good heavy cream. Come. To the kitchen. Dawn is just breaking and we can watch the sun rise over the balcony."

He tugs her hand and they stumble, sleepy, down the stairs, their brains more awake than their bodies. He catches her as she staggers off the steps and swings her towards the kitchen. She smiles, their movements almost a dance, and leans into him, glad for his warmth in the morning chill. She leans on the counter as he boils milk and whips cream. She shivers. He hands her the bowl and dashes to the living room for a blanket, wrapping it around her shoulders before returning to his mission.

When the two steaming mugs are ready and heaped with whipped cream, he leads her out to the balcony and they huddle together against the railing, waiting for the sun to crest the horizon. Vibrant pinks and oranges shoot across the sky, colours so stunning that he wishes he could capture them in paint. He cannot find the words to express how beautiful it all is, so he sips his hot chocolate and enjoys the moment. The first sliver of sun changes the colours, the sky turning a brilliant clear blue. They hear Magda step out on her own deck.

"Lovely morning. Might I join you?"

Loki nods and Wanda replies, "Of course."

In a few moments, she has let herself in and settles on Wanda's other side, "You are up early."

"Nightmares again. Or, rather, memories."

"I see he took good care of you."

He smiles, proud of himself for this little accomplishment. Proof that he can be human. That there is a small nook in Midgard that he fills perfectly.

"Yes, he did. I told you he would fit in our little family."

He closes his eyes and breathes deep, the scents of chocolate and Magda's coffee mingling. He thinks he will forever associate these things together as the smell of their family, of cool mornings and hot drinks. And he loves that she is using that word, calling him a part of it.

"Thank you both for taking a chance on me."

"I have always said, a friend of Wanda's is a friend of mine."

"Yes, but a friend is different than family."

"Only to some people. If you are worth the time for me to care deeply about you, I will do it fully."

"Ah. Again, though. Thank you."

Magda kisses his cheek, "You are always welcome. Now. What should we do with today? The air is brisk; it welcomes fall."

"It does not feel the same as a Sokovian fall, though. The mountains must have made a difference."

"If it is any consolation, it is different than fall in Asgard as well."

"Ah, yes, but unlike Wanda and I, you do not miss this...correct? Or do you?"

"It was not only the mountains, my dear, but the smell of woodsmoke on the air," Wanda adds.

"And the tang of apples from the cider presses. Do not forget that."

Loki has his eyes closed. He recalls the woodsmoke, too, rising to the palace from the few city dwellers who chose to keep fires in the evenings. The fires from their own gilded fireplaces. The bounty on their tables as the first harvest from the palace farms was brought in, and the first cask of the oldest ale opened at the feast to mark the turning season. And the stories. This was the time of year when victories over the summer were celebrated the most heavily, the tales woven on the warriors' return retold more fantasy than reality, their very own epic sagas. They would change, of course, through the long winter, but this was the best time to hear them, before they grew old.

Wanda leans on his shoulder, "You do miss it. I see it on your face. We have found something about Asgard you love."

"Though I am loathe to admit it, there are many things about Asgard I hold dear."

"Like?"

"The importance of storytellers. That my shape shifting was a curiosity, but nothing to be harmed for. Magic. Vehicles that fly and being the one at the helm. I was quite good. I miss my books. And the elegance of our everyday lives. And that mine mattered so greatly. I miss knowing that we had the power to keep peace or destroy it and all it would take to push us into eternal war was one careless act. Knowing that the king chose peace most often. And the reminders of my mother, the company of my brother. Those may be what I miss most."

"Home is stronger than the things there that hurt you," Magda says. Loki nods and stares at his mug, "I tell this to the people I serve at the refugee centre as well. They do not all come from Sokovia. There are people from many places in Africa and the Middle East, places where there are nations at war and that have been at war for decades. There is usually something there they miss. The sight of clothes on the line their grandmother strung. The smell of a local dish cooked nowhere outside of their village, or one cooked elsewhere, but never quite the same. Food often is part of the memories. Smells. The little details. But the things that cannot be recreated so easily here."

"Might I visit with you?"

Magda smiles, "I do believe this would be a good day for it. Wanda has business with SHIELD, so yes."

"How ought I dress?"

"Like you are a refugee from Asgard."

"But I do not think there are other refugees from Asgard. How am I to know what that means?"

Wanda adjusts her blanket and sips her hot chocolate, "Then let's go play in your wardrobe and we shall see what you have."

Magda claps, "Yes! Dressing time. It shall be fun."

"I assume this," he gestures to his soft knits, "will not suffice?"

"It looks a bit like pajamas. Comfortable, but more home loungewear than for going out and about."

"Ah."

"Do not worry. We will advise you. Come! Wanda and I will be your fashion experts."

They both offer him a hand and he accepts the help getting to his feet, shaking his head at their enthusiasm, but smiling. He has never had sisters and he thinks this is quite possibly what it might be like.


	17. Chapter 17

Loki steps out of Magda's car at a low brick building with large windows and murals painted up the few large expanses of brick. The word "welcome" frames the entry in a few dozen languages. Loki wonders how many of them he will heard spoken over the course of the day. Magda unlocks the doors and leads him to her office near the front of the centre.

"It will be only a few minutes before the few other staff members arrive. But it will be another hour before the people we serve get here."

"What do you wish for me to do today?"

"Participate in our groups as one of us. Join us for lunch. Watch the children in the play area. Just be with us and do as you are comfortable."

"That is very unspecific."

"I understand. But that is one of the things about people- we are quite broad in our needs." She points to a large map on the wall, "The pins represent the people who come here now and in the past. The are from all over this world. No two people will need the exact same things, even if they are from the same village."

"May I ask you a very personal question?"

"Of course."

"Do they treat you any differently because of your...your...gender? This trans-gender thing we both are?"

"I do not speak of it here, so they do not know. Some suspect, yes, but none know. I entered this work as Magda."

"Duly noted. I will say nothing."

"Thank you. Those who do suspect are kind, though. We are all here for the same purposes."

Someone knocks on the door frame, "Knock knock! Morning, Mags!"

"Good morning, Shelly."

"Sorry if I'm interrupting. Who's your friend?"

"This is Loki. He will introduce himself in the circle."

"Sure, sure. I'm Shelly. I work with the kids here. But you'll see me around. We all eat lunch together and there's a play hour a lot of the families come for."

"It is good to meet you." Loki shakes hands, but the gesture feels distant to him, having grown accustomed to Wanda and Magda's hugs and the two kisses on the cheek.

"You too. Catch you guys later!" She bounds out of the office.

"She seems quite friendly."

"She is wonderful with the children. They need laughter and light. Many of them have never seen toys when they arrive here. Some played with sticks and rags fashioned into dolls, or rocks in the street. Often, bits of rubbish, such as a tin can, or the skull of a creature killed for meat, were their playthings. But here, we have all things bright and colourful and a gymnasium they can run about in when the weather is poor and we cannot play at the parks. It is all new and it is a wonder every time they visit."

"There are those living in such conditions in this realm?"

"There aren't in yours?"

"I suppose there are a few, but we are a rich realm and we take care of our own."

"'Our'? I think that is the most you have claimed Asgard in the time I have known you."

"The conversation this morning has me thinking."

"Well think on the move, my dear- we must venture forth. There are things to do to ready for the day. But do find a book or talk to the others. I will not leave you to your own thoughts for long." She locks her office door behind her and leads him to classroom space filled with a variety of sitting surfaces, from large wingback chairs to fluffy oversize pillows, "Make yourself comfortable. We will gather here soon. I will make coffee. Shelly will bring in something for breakfast. And if you are not otherwise occupied, she may try to talk until your ears fall off."

"I do indeed hope you mean that figuratively."

Magda chuckles, "Yes, my dear. But my sweet Shelly does love to chat."

"Where might I find books?"

"Under the window."

Loki finds the shelf and is perusing the backs of the novels when Shelly comes in to set up the food, "So...Loki. Are you staying with Mags or something?"

"No. I am her neighbour." He returns his attention to the back of the John Grisham novel, skimming to figure out if it seems like one he will even understand. He puts it back. Midgardian justice systems are beyond his comprehension. He picks up another.

"Do you like King?"

"Hm?"

"The book. Stephen King. You like him?"

"I have never read this author."

"I like him. He's got to be crazy, but he's a great writer. Creepy stuff."

"Ah. Well I do not wish for creepy this early in the morning, so perhaps I ought choose another novel."

"You don't speak like anybody here. You're all proper and formal. Where are you from?"

"I believe Magda stated I would introduce myself in the circle so I only have to tell once."

"Awww, come on, not even a hint?"

"Only that you will likely not believe what I tell you."

"But is it true?"

"Very."

"So why won't I believe it?"

He drops into a large pillow with a book and props is feet up on a nearby bench, "You will simply have to wait and listen." He starts reading. She keeps talking.

"You're not Sokovian, though, like her other friend, Wanda."

"No, I am not."

"Do you know Wanda?"

"Yes."

"Did you meet her though Mags?"

"No, I met Magda through Wanda."

"Wanda has a social life? Mags talks about her like she's a hermit."

"She prefers her quiet, yes. She has had far too much extra noise in her life."

"She hasn't been around lately. Busy?"

"I do not know her every move."

"You are totally unhelpful. I'm trying to weasel out who you are and you're giving me nothing. Nada. Zilch."

"Correct." He smiles, his eyes fixed on the page.

"You're not going to give me anything, are you?"

"Of course not. Not until the circle."

"What if I told you you're really cute? And you should tell me because I want to ask you out for coffee."

"While I appreciate the offer and the compliment, no, but thank you."

"Seriously, you're super adorable."

"Thank you, but still, no, I will not divulge my secrets in advance."

"But will you go for coffee?"

"No, though I am flattered."

"Oh. Why not?"

He closes his book and sighs, "I was assaulted yesterday...I have been treated worse, yes, but I would rather stay in for a while. Stay in and live quietly. At least until I have my bearings back."

"Shit, I'm sorry." She turns pink, embarrassed, "I stepped in that one."

"Do not feel bad. You could not know."

"I work at a refugee centre. I should be more sensitive."

"I bear you no ill will. Move forward."

"Yeah? We're OK?"

"Indeed."

She smiles and goes back to setting up breakfast, "Thanks." He returns to his book. She leaves the room to set up the gym for the children; it has started to rain.


	18. Chapter 18

People filter into the room over the course of the hour. Loki keeps to himself, his book in hand, while they do. Some make themselves at home, taking breakfast, chatting to Magda in Sokovian or English as she makes coffee. A few use other languages, speaking more slowly, and help her to find the words to respond. Others talk amongst themselves, glancing around as though they are strangers to this place. Once the coffee is done, Magda drifts from person to person, making a point to spend time with those who appear less comfortable. Loki identifies at least a dozen languages spoken amidst the thirty or so people gathering in the room, sometimes more than one in a family. He wonders how many Magda understands.

"Come on, kidlets, time for games!" Shelly calls from the door and the gaggle of small children clinging to their parents' legs detach and rush towards her, a giggling wave of energy.

"Circle up, my friends. The children are in Shelly and Ariel's capable hands." Magda sits on a padded bench and sips her coffee, settling the cup on the saucer when she speaks. Loki imagines she is the queen of this space, regal in her own way as her mere presence commands attention. In this, she reminds him of Frigga. Once the circle is formed from chairs, beanbags, benches, and pillows, she takes a final sip of her coffee and clears her throat, "Now. Good morning, my friends. We have some new faces in our circle this morning, so we will begin with introductions. Your name, or what you wish us to call you. Any part of your story you wish to share. And then we will move to the next person. I am Magda. I come from Sokovia. I came here after the Ultron incident. I started working here to help my people adapt to this new world, but quickly found we are not so different, those of escaping our homes because they are no longer safe. Or are no longer there. So now I help all of you as much as I can."

The stories around the circle stun Loki. People speak of wars destroying their homes, violence against their families and executions in front of their children, of rape and destruction so wide sweeping that they could not stay, of fleeing roving gangs or even their own families threatening to kill them. There are a few Sokovians who left the country after Ultron, just like Magda. And then it is his turn to speak.

"I am Loki. I...my story is a bit different than yours. I was kicked out of my home- my realm." He pauses, "I am from Asgard. The same place as Thor. He is my adopted brother. I made mistakes. Large ones. Including leading an alien army into New York City as part of a bargain for my life. And eventually I took the throne of Asgard. When I was discovered, Odin All-Father, king, and Thor's father, cast me out and I was stripped of my long life, my magic...everything I once considered a normal part of me. I was dropped, naked, in the middle of the desert. Thor found me, clothed me, and brought me to this city to find a new life. Everything is new. Everything is overwhelming. I have managed to find a few friends and they have taught me a little about this place. But with so much different, I find myself very lost."

One man raises his hand, "I know this isn't normal, but can I ask a question?"

"If Loki is willing, yes," Magda replies.

"I am. But I may refuse to answer."

"That's fine. I just can't figure out how making you one of us is the right way to handle whatever all you've done."

"Odin thought I would learn repentance best by living amongst those I would have lorded over, had we been successful. Which we never would have. Asgard would have fought us herself had your Avengers not been capable of defending this world and knowing well the might of Asgard, I could not have defeated her and her allies."

"Why did you do it?"

"My other option was to let them kill me."

"Who's them? And how did you get in that mess to begin with?"

"I am still not entirely sure who they were- a creature called Thanos, who I never met. And I got there by a series of rash decisions stemming from discovering my birth parents were demonized by the culture of those that had adopted me. I was irrationally angry."

"So...you tried to take over New York."

"In a round about way, yes."

"You are a piece of work, mister. I don't think a lot of us will sympathize. A lot of us ran from crazy regimes trying to take things over."

"I understand."

"No, I'm not sure that you do."

He crosses his arms over his chest. The circle continues, but Loki cannot pay attention. He tries to follow the discussion, but his mind is stuck on the confrontation. He once again feels as though he does not belong where he is. He wishes he could sink into the furniture, much like when Thor delivered him to the tower. When they end the circle discussion, people leave the room, stopping for a word with another or a doughnut on their way.

Magda sits beside him, "You handled yourself well. Josef asked difficult questions and you have a rough history. You answered with honesty and grace."

"I am a guest here, there is no other way to respond."

"Oh, there are plenty of other ways to respond, my dear. I have heard conversations between people from nations on opposite sides of a war turn into threats and escalate to shoving. People exposed to traumatic experiences do not react well to others needling them about it, or to those they believe are responsible for them. And we have had our fair share of that here. You did well."

"May I ask you a question?"

Magda smiles, "Yes, and I will promise to answer it, if I can."

"Did you know of everything?"

"No. Not of torture. I know a little of what happened before your fall, as Wanda told me what she had heard from Thor. And she told me of your mother. But that it was New York or death, I did not know. Did you know at the time there was no way to win? That you would be defeated by Asgard or killed?"

"Knew, yes. Would I admit it? No. I tried to believe that I had a chance, even if it was a slim one. But nothing escapes the eyes of Asgard. My choices were a death no one would see deep in the Void, my body left to rot where it fell, or a glorious death in battle against those I once fought alongside."

"Why do you think a death as their enemy would have been glorious? War is no glory, war is hell. We have seen it."

"In our culture, the warrior is a hero no matter his side because he chose to fight at all and not to flee. The willingness to engage is raised to almost god-like status. And my former friends would have borne my body home to rest."

"So even an enemy is respected."

"In a strange way, yes. Vilified, but the fact that they are remembered at all is an honour."

"You were asked to choose your best death."

"Yes."

"And then did not die."

"Correct. A surrender is a weakness. Sparing an enemy shames them."

"I do not believe I will ever understand Asgard."

"I hope you do not have to, though you would be far better at adapting than I. Thor and I were raised to be kings. To lead armies and rule entire realms. Our abilities to live other lives are underdeveloped at best."

Magda squeezes his shoulders, "You are doing a fine job, Loki. And you are more brave than you credit yourself for."

He leans against her for a moment, "Thank you."

"You are always welcome. Now, come. The children will have finished their story hour. Shall we join the families in the lounge?"

"As you wish, Magda. This is your work, not mine. Do you think Josef will cause trouble?"

"Perhaps. But trouble we can handle. There are so many worse things than trouble."


	19. Chapter 19

The lounge is quiet, people relaxing with coffee and tea before their children return from the gym. There are many things to do in the morning, from spending time in the art studio to courses in the English language and cultural studies classes. Loki follows Magda to the art studio where she works with a few students on potter's wheels. He is fascinated at how easily the clay takes shape, at how effortless she makes this craft look. One of her students leaves and she brings over a new slab of clay.

She hands it to Loki, "Here. See what it feels like."

"I have no idea how to work this device."

"First, give the clay a good hard drop onto the wheel. Yes, yes, that way. Now sit. This is a kick wheel. You can keep it quite slow." She places his hands on the clay as he gets the wheel moving, "Start simple. Shape the mound. The see what you can do. And remember you can always smash what you make back down into a lump and start over." She shows him his tools, makes sure he has water, and returns to her own wheel where she is growing the sides of what appears to be a vase. It takes him a few tries to get the clay to take any sort of shape. He watches Magda when he is frustrated, then tries again. By lunch, he has a small bowl sitting on the wheel and he is incredibly proud of it, even of it's uneven top edge. She shows him how to remove it from the wheel and they place it on the tray of items ready for the kiln.

The cafeteria is loud and the sounds of so many voices echo off the high ceilings. While the sound is disorienting, the smells delight, the spices exotic, unfamiliar, and tantalizing. Magda sits at a small round table where Shelly has already settled in with her tray.

"Hey! How'd circle go?"

"Fair."

"It went well. Loki shared a bit of his own history."

"Yeah, I heard about it in the boxing ring. Josef wouldn't shut up. He was trying to use it to distract me, but I'm sharper than that."

"Oh. I am surprised you still want to sit with me."

"You think that's the worst I've heard? Come on, I get kids in here who were recruited for armies when they were eight. One teenager shared his part in sacking a village and mutilating women, girls, even, with whatever broken glass they could find. Some seriously messed up shit. And I've had kids who were being brainwashed to blow themselves up in the name of god. And oh, listen to this one. We had one guy in here who was some kind of secret police guy in one of the Soviet Bloc nations. He had some scary stories to tell. It's actually kind of nice to know you didn't do it out of some weird hate for Earth."

"I am surprised you are so kind in your reaction."

"Everybody does dumb shit. Yours was just what I'd call the Big Dumb Shit."

"Perhaps. I know there will be others who are harsh, but I am grateful that you are both so kind. It has helped immensely."

"So how long have you been around? A few months?"

"Far less. Not even a few weeks."

"Holy shit. You're adapting pretty well then."

"I have not yet starved or gotten myself killed, so I assume yes."

Shelly laughs, "You set the bar pretty low there. I guess it means you've got a high success rate, eh?"

"Indeed."

A little girl inches over to the table and tugs on Loki's sleeves. He recognizes her from before the circle. Large almond eyes, skin the colour of wam caramel. Long dark hair in curls cascading down her back. A long length of fabric wrapped around her as a skirt and shawl with a matching blouse. A beautiful child. He smiles at her. She smiles back. She gestures to her own hair, then to his.

"My hair, little one?"

There are eyes on the interaction all around the cafeteria. The girl nods.

"She does not speak much English. Her family is new here," Magda says. She speaks to the girl in clipped phrases, herself not fluent in the child's native tongue, "She likes your hair. It looks like hers. Dark and long. She wonders if you are from where she is from."

Loki shakes his head, "No, child, I am not." Magda translates.

The girl mimes brushing her hair and then quickly braids a lock, then points to his hair, "She wonders if she might play with your hair."

"Of course. If her family allows, that is." Again, Magda translates. Giddy, the girl runs back to her table, grabs her bag, and runs back to Loki. She pulls a comb from her bag- a finely made wooden one. She climbs up on the chair beside Loki's and she begins to work through his hair, chattering happily as she does.

"She says she loves your hair. It is soft, and it is heavy, like hers. And she is grateful someone will let her play. Her father has short hair, and so do her brothers. Her mother is dead, and her sisters married at home. She says she is the last girl in her family now. And she has no other hair to play with."

He speaks to the girl, even though he knows she cannot understand him, "I am honoured, my lady, to be able to help you in this manner."

Magda translates; the girl responds slowly, "You are welcome. My name is Padma."

"My name is Loki."

"It is nice to meet you." Her words are precise, cautious, but her smile is anything but, her eyes bright. She braids little locks of his hair until her father calls her back to lunch. "I thank you." She bounds back to her family.

Loki is still smiling when he gets into Magda's car after her shift at the refugee centre.


	20. Chapter 20

After leaving the refugee centre, Magda drives farther into the city to a run down community centre with splotchy paint covering graffiti instead of murals on the outer walls. The sign is rusty, the paint flaking, but Loki can read that it says "Sylvia Rivera Safe Haven".

"What sort of place is this?"

"A transgender resource centre, but it is more of a safe haven than anything else. We do refer people to services when they need it, try to help with housing, food, clothing, but the connections our people make to one another are the most valuable thing we create."

"Who was Sylvia Rivera?"

"A revolutionary. She is said to have started the queer rights movement- the transgender woman who threw the first stiletto heel at the police after they raided a gay bar decades ago. Or perhaps it was a brick. She was subversive in every way she could be, making sure that those who would rather we disappear saw her clearly. She was everything people feared and she paved the way for our lives to exist in the open. And so we named this centre in her honour, as we are the ones still feared and still pushed to the fringe."

Magda parks the car in a fenced lot behind the building. There are security cameras everywhere and they sign in before heading to a dimly lit lounge where a few other volunteers are making photocopies of a flier and brewing coffee.

Magda finds her name tag on the cork board and makes one for Loki, "Things are a bit different here. We have some activities, and some support groups, but it is not so extensive as at the refugee centre. People come and go more quickly, and many of our clients are homeless or addicted to a variety of substances. Life is more gritty here."

"Ah. What ought I expect?"

"That the people we serve love and hurt no differently than anyone else."

One of the other volunteers, an older woman in a bright floral print skirt, interrupts their conversation, "Now Maggie, darling, here you bring us this delightful young man, but don't introduce him? Where are your manners, child?" Her gentle chiding is playful, and she lightly clucks her tongue in reproach.

"Erie, this is Loki. Loki, Erie. She is one of the founders of this centre."

"Well I wouldn't say a founder. I just happened to have a building I needed to find a use for, and there were people who had a use and no building. We made miracles together to get this place off the ground."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Erie."

"Same here, same here. You said you're name's Loki?"

"Yes."

"Good, I heard right. Not a usual name. How do you know Maggie?"

"I met her through her friend, Wanda."

"She's a sweet girl. A little strange, but who wouldn't be, with all she's been through? She's stopped by a few times, comes to the big charity ball around the holidays." There is a string of profanity from the direction of the copy machine, "Ooop, gotta go before Ripley threatens to burn the copier."

"Too late, Erie, I'm ready to set the thing on fire. Or go all Office Space on it. Anybody got a baseball bat?"

"Only copier we have, kid. Hold your temper."

"But it's a really shitty copier."

"Still, a shitty copier's better than no copier."

Ripley sighs, "Just get it going again. The AIDS fair's tonight and I've got a lot of canvassing to do."

Erie sets to work tinkering with the copy machine, a process which involves opening and slamming a lot of panels and drawers, slapping it repeatedly on the side, and unplugging it at least twice. Eventually, it starts spitting out copies again.

Magda takes Loki's hand, "Come. I want you to meet some of the people who drop by every day." She leads him to a large room where a few square tables are set with board games. Four people play cards in a corner. Two young women are doing makeup on a couch. One young man sketches, and a pair of androgynous individuals look on. Magda slides into a seat and gestures for Loki to do the same. She begins to set pieces out on the checked board, "In a few moments, Alexi will drift over. He is sketching. He is fascinated by chess and plays quite well."

"I have never played this game."

"I will teach you. And then I will leave you to learn from Alexi while I visit with a few young people."

"Oh."

"You will like Alexi. Trust me. I think you two will find yourselves to be quite good friends in a short while."

Magda's plan works. She walks Loki through the ways the pieces move and before she has finished, Alexi is hovering over his shoulder. Before long, he slides a chair beside Loki and watches the game. Then Magda leaves and he drops into her seat.

"Hello."

"Hello."

"You were at the refugee centre with Magda, too, weren't you? You made friends with Padma."

"Yes. You were there as well?"

"Yeah. That was sweet of you. She's a good kid."

"She braids very well. She has impressive attention to detail."

"So what's your deal? I heard you were some kind of exile from space. Thor's adopted brother?"

"Yes, though how I ended up here is not the most uplifting story and I would like to end this day on a high note."

"Duly noted. But why are you _here_?"

Loki pauses, his bishop hovering over the board, "Because I am sometimes Lady Loki, princess of Asgard, rather than Lord Loki, prince of Asgard."

"Only sometimes?"

"Yes."

"Huh. I would have thought you were always Lady and Lord, but just one or the other needed to be expressed. They're both part of you, aren't they? And aren't they always both there, even if they don't want to be on the surface?"

"I suppose. I have never considered such."

"You aren't very talkative."

"I am trying to remember how this horse piece moves."

"In the L."

"Thank you."

"So...keep talking. Tell me about yourself."

"Wanda says that I am gender fluid. It is not a term we have in Asgard. But I like the imagery it invokes of flowing between Sister and Brother."

"It is pretty nifty. I'm just regular old transgender. FTM."

"Excuse me? I do not understand FTM."

"Oh. Female to male. I didn't do the surgeries, though. I just don't know if I can do something that big yet. But I'm saving my pennies in case I do. And if I don't, hell, I have a retirement fund."

"Ah. You will have to forgive me, but so much is so very new. Why would you not wish to change your body?"

"Just in case there's a reason down the road that I need my parts like they are. I don't know. Maybe I'll adopt a kid and the baby will need to nurse and the mom won't be able to. I could use my breasts then, induce lactation, and still be dad, just a different kind of dad. Or maybe I'll get really brave and want to bear a kid of my own. And I don't know if I want to remove both he parts and the possibility, you know?"

"No, actually, I do not know. But I accept this."

"You're cute. What don't you get about it?"

"I could once shapeshift into whichever body I wished, male or female. The body was quite important. I wish I still could. So that clouds my understanding."

Alexi tips over Loki's king, "Gotcha. To me, the body is only part of it. I'm OK with looking like a guy, living like a guy, and feeling like a guy, and still having my lady bits. Some people aren't. That's cool, too."

"And some of us wish to live in between."

"Yeah, well, we haven't figured out the science on that one yet. So you've got to do what you can with the clothes and meds."

"Perhaps the next time you see me, I will be Lady Loki."

"Maybe. But right now, I just checkmated you."

Loki tips over his king, "That you did. Another game?"

"You want to play until you beat me."

"Of course. It is not only my brother who refuses to lose."

Alexi grins and resets the board, "Good."

In the car on the way home, Loki is still happy. First Padma, then Alexi. Two very good reasons to smile. He is lost in thoughts even as Magda parks the car in front of her flat. She walks him to his front door.

"Will you feel safe by yourself tonight?"

"Yes. Thank you, Magda, for everything. And for a delightful day."

"I am glad you believe it was time well spent."

As he steps through the front door, he flips a little card between his fingers, "Oh, it most certainly was. Tomorrow, you must teach me to make a telephone call. Alexi said I must call and gave me these numbers."

"Did he ask you on a date?"

"He said to call him so that we might dine together."

"That is a date."

"I had a wonderful time talking while playing chess. I think a date would be fun."

Magda hugs him and kisses his cheeks, "Dream sweetly, my dear. Tomorrow we learn to use the telephone."


	21. Chapter 21

Wanda brings a small bag to Loki's flat. Magda is cooking breakfast, Loki taking notes about his book. She sets the bag on the table beside him.

"What is this?"

"A telephone. If you are to call Alexi, you will need one of your own."

Curious, he sets down his pencil and opens the bag, drawing out a thin box, "The box is larger than I expected."

"They put a lot of packaging around such things so they will not be damaged traveling from factory to store. Open it."

He opens the box and gently lifts a sleek brushed steel phone up to the light, "How does it work?"

"First, you turn it on. It has a bit of a charge, but we will plug it in later. Here, push this button." She shows him and the screen springs to life, "Now wait a little. It will be ready soon." She walks him through the setup steps and then brings out her own phone. "Now you will call me. Push the little green button."

"What is the picture on it?"

"A handset for what phones used to look like."

"That does not make much sense."

"No, it does not. But it is how we signify that this is the call button. Something old and familiar, I suppose."

"Indeed. What do I do now?"

"Dial me. Here," she jots down her number on a scrap of paper, "Touch the numbers on the screen in the same order. Then the green button."

Loki follows her instructions and her phone chimes. He breaks into a wide grin. She saves his number and then calls him back. He startles as it rings. She shows him how to answer. He is so incredibly excited that he runs to get the little card with Alexi's number and dials him. He fiddles with the pencil while he waits for Alexi to answer.

"Hello?"

"Alexi? It is I, Loki. Wanda has shown me how to use a telephone!"

"Wait, am I your first call?"

"Other than the one she taught me with, yes."

"Awww, I feel special." Loki blushes a little, "So, I want to go out for dinner with you."

"Magda informs me this is called 'going on a date'."

"You don't date where you're from?"

"Not this way, no. We call it courtship, and as I was the son of a king, it was a much longer, more formal process."

"Well that's no fun. What kind of food do you like?"

"The edible kind."

"Smartass."

"I have no idea what that means, but I assume yes, your assessment is correct. I am a smartass."

Wanda can't help but laugh as she helps Magda in the kitchen.

"So you'll try anything? Have you ever had Thai food?"

"No."

"Do you like spicey things?"

"Yes."

"Good! How about I pick you up for Thai food tomorrow night?"

"That sounds lovely. What time is customary?"

"You're cute. Any time is customary. It's a date. We can do it whenever we want. But let's do dinner at six."

"That sounds wonderful. Shall I give you directions to my home?"

"I know where Magda lives- you're next door, right?"

"Yes. The blue door to her left."

"Gotcha! I'll see you tomorrow!"

"I look forward to our date."

"Same here. Bye now."

"Goodbye, Alexi." Alexi hangs up and Loki sets the phone down. It takes him a moment to realise that he has just made his first phone call to set up his first date and he is incredibly excited by this revelation. He practically skips to the kitchen.

"I have made a date!"

Wanda hugs him, "Yes, you did. And I think you did a lovely job on the telephone."

"I have had another victory in living in this place. I can place a telephone call. Now, what does one expect on a first date?"

Magda takes a steaming dish from the oven, "Conversation. Time spent getting to know one another. And perhaps holding hands, if you so wish. But dating does not assure a happy match in the end- it is a way to see if the other person might be a good partner. That means some dates will not lead to a second."

"This is quite different from Asgard, but at the same time, that part is not. There were a few young ladies of the court that I only sat with once at a feast and decided that I would not again have as my honoured guest. We had little in common."

Wanda sets the table, "Did he say where you would be going?"

"Out for Thai food. I do not know entirely what that means. I assume that is a type of cuisine?"

"A nationality, yes. Do you know how you are to dress?"

"He did not say it would be particularly fancy. Should I call back and ask?"

"I will teach you to text. Then you can ask for that detail."

Loki bounds to the table and scoops up the phone, "Do tell. I wish to learn everything about this little device." She shows him how to open the messenger and how to type and send his question. He presses send and then stares at the phone, "How long does it take to deliver the message? And when will I hear back?"

"It takes only a few moments to deliver it, unless something goes strange in the technology. Occassionally texts do not go through for a bit longer, and on rare occassions, for a day or so. But they usually are instant. And you will hear back whenever Alexi has the time to respond. Your question was not urgent, and if he is in the middle of supper, or if he does not have his phone beside him, it may take a bit. But an answer will come."

"I hope he answers soon."

Magda laughs, "You are darling, my Loki. You met him just yesterday and yet you are so eager to hear from him. Perhaps this is the beginning of something lovely?"

"Perhaps. I hope so." The phone chimes, "Now how do I read this response?" Wanda shows him what to push and he is grinning as he reads it, "He says casual. Nice, neat, but nothing fancy. And I can be either Lady or Lord, whichever suits me best, the restaurant is safe." He types a thank you and then puts the phone down on the table. "I have never dined in this way before. It will be illuminating."

"Then we will practice for lunch. Bring me a piece of paper, I will make a menu, and we will roll play so you have an idea what to expect," Magda replies.

Loki plays along. The paper menu. Magda as his waitress. Wanda as his date. They even practice paying for the meal with a debit card and with cash. And then they all sit down to eat, Wanda poking fun at Magda's waitressing skills. They are all laughing by the time she brings out a pie, balancing it on her fingertips, mocking a very bad French accent as she describes it in flowery terms. She starts giggling so hard she has to set it down so as not to drop it.

The following day, Wanda and Magda arrive an hour before his date to find every garment he owns that he deems casual, yet nice, strewn across his bed. He switches sets, matching trousers and shirts, scarves and jackets, tossing them all aside and starting again when nothing seems quite right. He is nervous, excited, and set on making a good impression. Wanda makes him sit down.

"You do not need to run about like a chicken without its head. Breathe. And tell us what you are comfortable wearing."

"Something soft."

"That does not narrow our choices very well, my darling," Magda says, surveying the garments.

"That is about as narrow as I can be at the moment. I have to get this right."

"What you wear is not as important as if it is comfortable or not. You do not need to be itchy or uncomfortable on your date. Wanda can tell you how terrible that is."

"I wore leather trousers to an outdoor movie in July for our first date. It was truly awful."

Magda holds up a sage tunic and black trousers, "These are quite nice together. What is wrong with this sort of outfit?"

"The tunic seems to casual. Perhaps if I added a vest..."

He tries to stand but Wanda gently nudges him down, "Nope. You stay still for a moment. No fussing."

Magda, however, has obliged his request and layered a knit vest over it, "This is lovely. Was it in the trunk?"

"Yes. My mother made it."

"I think you ought to wear it. With the tunic and trousers. A comforting item for this lovely chilly evening and a first date."

Wanda steps aside and he takes the garments from Magda, "How is it so simple for you to dress me when I cannot figure this out myself?"

"I do not have the first date jitters. Now dress. We will go make tea. It will calm you while you wait."

They leave the room and he slips into the new outfit. He finds one of his favourite pairs of soft socks and ties his hair back with a ribbon. He then takes it down and brushes it and braids it. Once again, he takes it down. He shakes his head, letting it fly loose. And then he ties it back with the ribbon again. He sighs and goes down to the dining room. Magda has set out a tea service and is pouring steaming water over loose tea in little strainers balanced over the edge of the mugs.

"How do I look?"

"Absolutely wonderful," Magda replies.

"Beautiful, as always."

"You are both too kind."

"I only speak truth," Wanda says as she hands him his tea.

He blushes a little and sips, "So you have said."

"Why do you doubt me?"

"Because I am not exactly the Aesir ideal for beautiful."

"Then the Aesir are foolish. You shine. How can that not be beautiful?"

Magda settles on his other side, "Sip, relax, and be gentle with yourself. Alexi is not expecting a god, he is expecting a person. You. Just be yourself."

"Myself...I have been some terrible things."

"No, you have _done_ some terrible things. There is a big difference."

"And what if he cannot get past those? I have not told him anything other than that I am Thor's brother. How do I reveal these things? I do not wish to spoil our supper, but I also do not want to hide these things. I would rather face rejection now, before..."

Wanda takes his hand, "Before you find yourself in love?"

"Perhaps."

"You will find the time that is right. Be honest, but also be gentle with yourself. You have faced many horrible things."

"How did you tell Magda of your time with HYDRA?"

"In the most blunt way possible."

"After our first date, we went for a walk. It was midnight, quite dark, and we wandered in Central Park. She told me everything. And then she told me about her powers. Her whisps. And why I might not want to share her bed. And that was then I told her that I was transgender. Neither of us seemed to mind much, so she took me home."

"A rather sudden start to a relationship...or is such a thing more common here?"

"For some people, sex on the first date is perfectly normal. For others, not. For us...we weren't really planning it. But it had been a wonderful day and I did not want to leave her. I was homeless, I could not invite her to my flat for coffee. So she invited me to hers. One thing led to another, and here we are today."

"I hope Alexi does not expect it..."

Wanda hears the hesitation in his voice, one more thing to be nervous about, "Calm, Loki. A date is not a contract for sex. Nor should it ever be expected to be. If you are not comfortable, and you think things are headed in that direction, simply say no. Anyone who respects you will back off."

"And anyone who does not back off does not deserve another date, whether you were on your first or fiftieth." Magda pauses, "I really feel like I am your older sister right now. As awkward as I am sure this talk is, I like this." She smiles, "I am growing more protective. We are family."

"Thank you. Both of you. I have never had sisters."

There is a knock on the door and Wanda goes to answer it. Loki follows, fetching a messenger bag he carefully packed earlier in the day. Alexi enthusiastically greets him and they leave.

Wanda and Magda sit down to finish their tea.

"I am struggling with something, Magda."

"Oh?"

"I love Loki dearly. We are family. But to call him brother, even if I feel so close to him...it is a step I am having trouble taking."

"My love..." She takes both her hands, "You will never lose Pietro as your brother. No matter who else comes into your life. You were a twin, that is a special sort of bond. A different kind of brother."

"I know. But it is something I am having trouble wrapping my mind around. I want to, I really do. But..."

"But you have only ever called one other such a thing and it still cuts deeply that he is gone."

"Yes."

"What do you think Pietro would say about this?"

"That is the same question you asked when I had trouble dating you."

"Because it had always been you and Pietro taking care of one another, yes. And what did you say then?"

"That he would want me to find happiness now, to embrace his memory and move forward."

"Yes. Always forward."

"But this is different."

"Is it? We are simply continuing to build family where we find it. You have one brother. Now you have a second. Is that so difficult?"

"Yes. And no."

"Take your time, my dearest Wanda. You will find your answers. But I think Pietro would love to have a younger brother to teach, to tease, and to love."

Wanda clears the table and washes the dishes, "Yes. He would. But he is dead."

"Death is simply stepping off the stage. An exit. But it does not mean no one else can enter."

She puts away the dishes and fetches her keys, "I know. But we ought to exit in case Alexi and Loki decide to enter together. No self respecting sisters would impede the ending of a good date in such a way."

Magda laughs, "Of course! Especially not sisters who ended their own first date in such a way!"


	22. Chapter 22

Loki and Alexi chat over dinner. Their conversation is light, and Loki feels a bit more at ease when he realizes that Alexi doesn't plan on talking about Asgard in public. That alone helps him to be a bit more comfortable. He also immensely enjoys the food, another thing that relaxes him. After, Alexi drives back to the townhouse.

"So. Is this goodnight?"

"Perhaps we could sit in the square for a few moments? It is a nice night, even if it is a little chilly."

"Sure." He grabs a blanket off the back seat, "But I hope you're OK with snuggling. It's cold and I only have one blanket."

Loki nods and takes his hand as they walk across the street to the park. They settle on a bench near the ash and Alexi wraps the blanket around their shoulders.

"This tree reminds me of home...or, rather, where I grew up. It isn't home anymore."

"Do you ever think about going back? Even for a visit?"

"Yes. But it cannot happen. Odin has cast me out. Even Thor could not bring me back in."

"That's harsh. Isn't Odin Thor's dad?"

"Yes."

"So that makes him your father too? Or is that one of those things I'm not supposed to talk about?"

"No...it would. Though I have not called him such for years."

"But you don't want to talk about him. Or not-home."

"I do not know. Since I lost my ability to be a part of that place, it has been closer in my heart than when I was fleeing from it."

"We have this phrase, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'- maybe it's true."

"Do you not miss Sokovia?"

"Yeah, sometimes. It was a beautiful country. I'm sure it still is, with the new lake and all, but it's not where I am. I try not to think about it. I don't want to be heartsick."

"I understand."

"Yeah, well there's nobody keeping me out of my childhood home. Just bad memories. You must have a few if you're not allowed to go back."

Loki sighs, "I do not want to tell you what I have done, but I suppose I should in case you do not wish to continue this."

"Wow, that bad?"

"In my eyes, yes. But can it wait until a second date? I would like my first to be a pleasant memory."

Alexi smiles, "Sure. Not going to lie, I'm horribly curious, but yeah. Wait. Is this really your first ever date? How old are you?"

"Wanda has calculated it to about equivalent to twenty years, in terms of percentage of a lifespan. But over a thousand, numerically speaking. And yes. A first. This is not how one seeks a partner in Asgard."

"Let me guess. More fancy, less friendly?"

"More distance, yes. And because of my station, it would be more complicated. We would sit together at feasts, and then you would be my guest at a few. A guest enters with the family, you see, and is acknowledged by the court. And then there would be walks in the public places of the palace. Perhaps an arranged attendance to a poetry reading, or lecture. Then more private audiences, but always with a strict time limit. Eventually, we would be allowed to take matters into our own hands, but it would not be for quite some time."

"Oh, wow. That's intense. I think I like our way better. I mean, yeah, I meet some creeps sometimes, but it's my choice, you know? Nobody else is deciding what I do to find my romance. I like getting to write my own love story."

Loki takes Alexi's hand, "It is entirely new to me."

"How far did you get in the courtship thing in Asgard?"

"There were many who sat beside me. A few who became guests. And one dear girl years ago who I was certain would keep my heart. Sigyn made it to the private audiences. Trading small remembrances. And one kiss so sweet I thought my heart would lift from my chest. But she asked to end things. The formality, the pressure of the throne, it was too much for her. She said that in any other family, she would be my wife. And so we agreed to part ways."

"Damn. I'm sorry."

"Is it poor form to speak of such things on a first date?"

"Yeah, probably, but it's OK. It's getting to know you. Do you miss her?" Alexi snuggles the blanket around them a bit more tightly.

"Sometimes, yes. We were very close and she was dear. But life changes us all. And mine has taken me far from those days."

"Now there's something we have in common. Life taking us a long way from where we were."

"Oh?"

"Just the transgender thing. And moving from Sokovia, learning how we talk here, how we dress here. How we work here. Nothing is the same. And I like it, but still. Nostalgia for the few things I loved back there, you know?"

"Yes. I do."

"Well there's another thing we've got in common."

Loki smiles, his hand still in Alexi's as they cuddle under the blanket. Alexi rests his head on Loki's shoulder and they sit quietly for a few moments, a little awkward, unsure.

"I suppose I should let you return home. The chill is increasing."

"Yeah, probably." Neither move. "I don't really want to, though. This has been a really nice night. Thanks."

"Thank you. I have had a lovely first date."

"Cool." He stands and Loki joins him, both still trying to keep the blanket around their shoulders as they huddle together walking back to the car, "I feel amazing that you let me be your first date here. Really amazing. We'll have to do this again." He pulls the blanket off Loki's shoulders when they reach the car and he tosses it in the back. "'Night, Loki."

"Good night." Alexi opens the door and starts to sit, but Loki tugs on his arm and stops him for a hug. He kisses Alexi's cheek. Alexi smiles and gently kisses the corner of his lips. Loki is a little stunned, but happy, as Alexi drives away.

When Loki is in the warmth of his living room, going to bed is the last thing on his mind. He picks up the phone and calls Wanda.

"Good evening, Loki. How was your date?"

"Delightful. Absolutely delightful."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"Is there something you wish to share, my dear?"

"I think this is the start of something. He kissed me. Lightly. Sweetly. Only the corner of my lips. But the flutter was there. The little feeling that I might lift from the ground were things to continue so delightfully."

"This is wonderful! Will you go for a second date?"

"He said we would have to do it again. Yes."

"Oh, that is beautiful. You aren't going to sleep tonight, are you?"

"It is unlikely. I will be up all night with this bliss. I want to dance in the moonlight to music only I can hear. Or perhaps simply sit on the balcony with hot chocolate and my dreams."

"You are a romantic."

"Of course. I feel everything deeply, not only that which is painful."

"Hmmm. Does this mean you will be utterly and absolutely adorable when you are in love? Will I catch you humming to yourself? Will a smile always grace your lips? Will you wander into daydreams?"

"Oh yes, it will likely irritate you to no end."

"On the contrary. I find it delightful."

"Thor teased me mercilessly when I fell in love in our younger days."

"Magda and I might tease a little, but you must tell us if you feel we are hurtful."

"I will. He was not the only one. His friends took things farther than I thought reasonable."

"We will be kind. I promise."

"Thank you. For everything. Without you, I would be dead and there would have been no tonight."

"Oh Loki, you are ever welcome."

"It is more than the others would have done. I owe you my happiness and my life."

"Darling, you owe me nothing. I simply did what a decent person would do."

"More than that. You have given me a family. Sisters. A place in this world. And now a friend who may become much more. How do I ever thank you for such a thing?"

"By living and loving well."

"Of course. It is so simple."

She laughs, "Yes it is. And you will. But now it is late. Perhaps I can take you for coffee in the morning? There is a little place beside the bookstore Magda says you love so much."

"I would like that very much."

"I will see you in the morning, then. Now, get some sleep, darling. At least a little. You will be able to enjoy tomorrow all the better if you do."


	23. Chapter 23

Loki falls asleep in his clothes, unwilling to remove the smell of Alexi's blanket as he dozes. He wakes late, the sun shining through his windows, when Wanda knocks on his bedroom doorframe.

"Good morning. You were up late?" Her smile is knowing, the question one she already knows the answer to.

"Oh yes. And I did dance in the moonlight in the kitchen and then settle in to sip hot chocolate under the stars on the balcony while dreaming of things I can only hope are possibilities. It was glorious." He stretches and yawns.

She jingles her keys, "Well it is time to escape the realm of dreaming and enter that of coffee. I, too, was up late, but it was not for anything so delightful."

"Oh?"

"SHIELD business. It seems that there have been a few places where time is looping. Thor says it may be from an Infinity Stone we have not yet encountered. So we are attempting to figure out where it might be. It seems SHIELD thinks I am an expert on impoverished Eastern European nations and so I was looking at far too many maps. I could hardly stay awake. And I need this coffee."

"Bagels sound like a good way to recover from such arduous tasks."

"That they do. But first you must get out of bed."

"Mmmm, that I do. And I must decide what to wear today."

"Something comfortable."

"I do not think I have much that is not comfortable. I see little purpose in making myself miserable with garments that do not fit well."

"Good, then get dressed before I fall asleep on your couch." She leaves the room and he follows her instructions, dressing in all black and braiding back his hair. He grabs his bag and they are off for coffee.

Taking coffee together becomes one of the little rituals Loki uses to settle into Midgard and to see it as his home as the fall edges in. He watches Mrs McGillan's laundry routine change as the days cool, waving to her from his balcony as the day begins. He learns how to cook the new vegetables and grains that he discovers at the local market and he begins to understand just how life in Midgard fits together. And soon he decides he wants to work, to integrate himself more fully into this world. He feels incredibly fortunate that, shortly after, a sign appears in the window of his favourite bookstore.

He reminds himself that there is nothing gained if never tried and approaches the old man behind the register, "Excuse me, but I noticed you have a sign up stating you are seeking help."

"Yes. Are you interested?"

"Very."

"You're in here every week, aren't you?"

"Yes. You have suggested quite a few books for me. Including my very first book of poetry."

"William Blake. 'Songs of Innocence and Experience'. The combined edition."

"Indeed. You have a good memory."

"Only for certain people. And you seem to be one of them. So you want to work here?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever worked in a bookstore before?"

"No, I have not."

"So what's your work experience?"

"I haven't any. But I have spent an inordinate amount of time in an expansive private library and am eager to learn anything you have to teach me."

"You aren't from around here, are you, son?"

"No, I am not."

"Well I'm looking to retire in the next few years. I'm not hiring someone to take this on for a year or so and move on. I want to leave this store in good hands and see it keep going after I'm gone from it. Is this something you'd be willing to do?"

"If you deem me worthy of such a task, carrying on your life's work, then yes."

The old man smiles and extends his hand, "Name's Ralph Whittaker. You?"

"Loki Odinson."

"Norse name."

"Indeed."

"Your folks really into mythology?"

"You could put it that way, yes."

"Well welcome on board, Mr Odinson. I'm going to need some things from you, Social Security card, an ID, your address, when you come in tomorrow. Shop opens at nine. You'll get paid each week on Friday. Today, how about you shadow me and see how this place runs?"

"I would be delighted."

And he is. There is nothing about the day he does not find fascinating. He is a sponge, carefully noting everything that happens in front of the public eye and behind the counter of the shop. There are long stretches where there are no customers and during those times, he watches paperwork, trying to figure out what he will be doing in the future. By the time he leaves for home, all he can think about is how incredible it is that he has found not only a potential love, but also a job that he thinks he can excell in.

He calls Wanda and asks about the documents he needs. She is eager to take a break from her maps and within a few hours, she knocks on his door and hands him an envelope.

"This should be everything you need. An ID with your address. A Social Security number. And even a birth certificate. Thor converted your birthday to our calendar."

"How did you get these things so quickly?"

"I told Tony it was matter of great importance that you be kept from considering a life of mischief. I likely did not have to do even that. It takes little to convince him that you must be kept busy as a matter of global security."

"He still fears me? He could kill me as quickly as any of the others. I am mortal. I pose no threat."

"He is not the most rational of beings. And I do not think he wants to be. But you do not need to worry about such things."

"Thank you, Wanda. Would you like to come in for a few moments?"

"I'm sorry, I cannot. The maps call."

"I will be very glad when this mission is over. We will have to celebrate with tea and cake."

She smiles, "We will. It may take a while, this one is tricky, but we will rest happily when it is over." She pats his arm, "Congratulations on your first job, my friend. I am glad you have found something you think will bring you joy."

"As am I. I hope your work does as well."

"Some days, yes. Some days, I simply wish to live with Magda and forget about all this."

"Why do you continue if you do not love what you do?"

"As Natasha would say, I have red in my ledger."

Loki kisses her forehead, "If there is anyone with red in their ledger, it is I. You must find your happiness, dear sister, and if that does not include the Avengers, then leave. I have only just found you. I do not wish for a mission to steal you from me."

"I will be careful. But I understand." She hugs him, "Thank you for your concern. I need to hear such things. But good night. The maps will not wait."

"Good night."

After she is gone, he sits down at the ash dining table and looks through the documents, familiarizing himself with them. Then he texts Alexi his good news.


	24. Chapter 24

At the end of Loki's first week at the bookstore, him hands Loki an envelope with his first paycheck and a key to the store, "You've done a great job this week, Loki. I think we'll work out well together. I can't believe you're already doing some of my paperwork."

"I will always strive for my best, sir."

"Well you're doing better than I expected. Keep working at this and you'll be ready to take over the bookstore in a year and I'll be able to retire happy."

"A year? You wish to leave this work?"

"I'm getting old, son. There's a lot I'd love to still do with my life, but I can't do it from here. So I'm telling myself a year. Gives you time to figure things out, learn how to do taxes, get to know the customers, and gives me an end date far enough out that I don't feel like it's too much of a rush, or too far out of reach. I think I'll be ready by then. But don't you worry, I'll make sure you're good and ready long before I go."

"Thank you."

"Now get on out of here. You've got a weekend to enjoy. I'll see you back on Monday."

Loki tries not to skip on his walk home, but he can hardly help himself and there is most definitely a bounce in his step. When he enters the house, he tosses the messenger bag on the table and fishes his envelope from among the books and his notepad. He gingerly opens it and stares at the slip with his name on the front in Ralph's neat leaning script. He texts Wanda. She is busy with her work and she has asked for no calls. But he has to tell someone. He calls Alexi.

"Hey, Loki! How's it going?"

"I got my first paycheck!"

"Oh, wow! Congrats! Do you know what to do with it?"

"I have no idea. Magda helped me set up a bank account earlier this week, but I haven't any idea what to do to get this in it."

"Do you want me to help? We can go to the bank and then I'll take you out for dinner. Second date?"

Loki feels the giddiness rising in his chest and he can't help but grin, "Yes! When?"

"Honey, you sound like you'll explode if I make you wait. I'll be over as soon as I can be, OK?"

"Of course!" Alexi laughs, "Good, good! I'll see you soon." He hangs up before Loki can ask what he should wear or where they will go.

When Alexi arrives, Loki tries to ask where they will go or what they will do, but Alexi won't tell him, "It's a surprise, silly! Come on, get in the car. Bank first."

"Some day I hope to have enough saved that I can get rid of the card Wanda gave me."

"You mean the one from Stark?"

"Yes. I do not like depending on him."

"But it's good to have. Even when you do have your feet under you, don't just cut the thing up and throw it away. You never know when something will happen and you won't be able to afford to fix it. Health stuff, a car accident, whatever. It's a back up plan, just in case. And you never want to be stuck without one of those and end up on the street."

"You speak from experience."

"Yeah, and from watching a lot of people end up homeless. So keep it, even if you don't ever use it."

"I appreciate the advice. But where are you taking me after we deposit this?"

"I'm not telling you. It's a surprise, remember?"

Loki laughs. He is used to being the one that surprises others, not the one who lets others surprise him. But he likes this adventure and he holds Alexi's hand as they drive. After the bank, they head to a neighbourhood Loki has never seen.

"This is a more run down part of the city."

"Yeah, but Rosita makes the best tacos in the entire city and you just have to have them for a celebration."

"Rosita?"

"The gal who runs this restaurant. She's incredible. Doesn't speak much English, but damn, can she cook."

"Do you speak her language?"

"Yeah, I've picked up a little Spanish. Don't worry, you'll love the food. Trust me."

Loki squeezes his hand, "I do. Despite only knowing you for a short while."

"Well good. That's a good start for us, right?"

"It is an excellent start."


	25. Chapter 25

Loki's date with Alexi is fun. They eat, they wander through Central Park. Alexi buys them hot chocolate from a food cart, and they cuddle together on the bench by the ash watching the clouds gather as a storm rolls in, the blanket around their shoulders. When the thunder starts rumbling, Loki invites Alexi in and they stay up until very early talking about their dreams.

"What do you want to do with your life, Loki? Do you want to have a family? Travel the world? Run a marathon? Make good art? Make bad art? Start a cooking show on cable TV? Share a dream or two."

"I have had only a short time to start over with dreaming. But traveling sounds nice. I would have to hire someone else for the bookshop, though. Ralph wants to sell it to me at the end of a year. I like this work, purveying old books, well loved books, to those who find them as comforting as I. Beyond that...I do not know. I do not know how I would have a family, but I like the one I am building now. Perhaps I will paint scenes from my life in Asgard and sell them without anyone knowing that they are true. Or maybe I will convince Mr Stark to part with his fortune for the betterment of the Sylvia Rivera Safe Haven. I do not know. But I would like to make a mark, at least in the lives of those around me. And you?"

"I've been dreaming my whole life. I want to climb a mountain. Maybe run a marathon. I'm training for it already. And I really want a family someday. I don't know how, but I want kids. And I want to learn to carve statues with a chainsaw. Write a book of poetry about the things I've seen at the centres. Make the world a little safer for transgender people. And I want to lobby our government to take transgender refugees from the places they're being killed. I have to change the world because so much of it sucks."

"Then I will help you find a way to do these things."

"You'd be OK with having kids someday?"

"I have not considered it in years, but when the time is right, yes."

"See, now this is something you don't usually talk about on a second date. But here we are, talking about kids."

"I suppose we are hardly a commonplace pair of people."

"You really want to call us a couple, don't you?"

Loki takes both of Alexi's hands, "I have a lightness in my heart when I hear your voice on the telephone. I danced without music and sat on the balcony watching the stars for hours after you left our first date. I will likely not sleep tonight, my mind will be so full of bliss. So yes, I do. I want this to be something that lasts. I have no idea how to do so, but I want it."

Alexi blushes, "Wow, that's not pressure on a guy at all."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, not at all. You said everything right. I just didn't expect it. And I've never dated somebody who was so sure they wanted a relationship with me so early. I usually get the one night stands or the people who take months to even figure out that they want to kiss me. But you're really into this and it's sweet."

"According to Magda, I am 'delightfully old fashioned'. I think this is a fair assessment."

"I like it. But does that mean you won't kiss me for months, either?"

Loki leans forward and places a soft kiss on Alexi's lips.

"I like your answer."

"Do you wish me to answer your question again?"

"As many times as you'd like."

Loki starts his Saturday by not sleeping. Alexi leaves a little before three and he simply cannot put his head down on the pillow. He twirls in his bedroom, laughing, the taste of Alexi's lips lingering on his own. His mind is reeling far too much to read, so he instead takes his drawing pad down to the dining table and lets his wandering mind guide his pencil, sketching little details from his evening. Alexi's hands, the ring on his right index finger. The way the fabric of his shirt creased when Loki's hand rested on his hip. The curve of his mouth. The ears into which he some day hoped to whisper endearments. Dreams.

He is still sketching when the light of dawn creeps into his kitchen. It is only when the sunlight touches the table that he realizes he has not yet slept. So he places the pencils carefully back in their case, closes the drawing pad, and retreats to his bedroom. He knows he might need the paper and pencils close if his dreams wander, so he places them on the nightstand. He strips, drops his clothing on the floor, and slides under the cool sheets, quickly dropping off to sleep.

His phone rings after noon and he answers from his pillow, "Yes?"

"Are you just waking?"

"Yes, Wanda, I am. I had a delightful long night and second date last night."

"Oh?"

"My lips are still tender."

"Oh my! Do we need to get together so you can tell me all the scandalous details?"

"There is little scandalous about it. We kissed. Quite a lot. And my head feels as though it may still be spinning from the wonder of it all."

"I am so happy for you."

"Thank you. But I assume you had another reason for calling? I have hardly seen you this past week."

"I know. Thor is here. And we have the day off. Would you like to get together?"

"Of course. Perhaps here? Alexi works until this evening. I would like to invite him as well."

"That sounds lovely."

"Bring Magda. I will cook. She has been teaching me to use curry. If you come this afternoon, we can play board games until supper."

"I will bring a few. Do you know how to call Thor, or do you wish for me to tell him?"

"If you share his number, I will call."

She does, and he calls. Thor is unavailable, but he leaves a message and receives a text confirming their games and dinner date. He then contacts Alexi, knowing he will not join them for the earlier part of the day. When he sets his phone down, he realizes that he needs to dress and staggers out of bed to get ready for his guests.


	26. Chapter 26

When Magda arrives with her games, Loki is setting up a tea service and coffee pot on the dining table. She sets the games on one of the chairs.

"What can I do to help?"

"Can you bring out the mugs?"

"Yes, my darling. You look lovely today. Is that the blouse Wanda found at the estate sale?"

"It is. And the skirt is one you gave me."

"They go together well."

"Thank you. I have never worn a floral print such as this."

Magda brings out the cups and sets them in the centre of the table, "Do you like it?"

"Very much. And the fabric is comfortable." Someone knocks, "That will be Wanda and Thor. Would you get the door?"

When they enter the dining room, Thor enthusiastically declares, "I come bearing salsa chips, pretzels, and the glory of cheese sticks!"

Loki shows him where to find serving dishes and Thor drops the bags on the counter and hugs Loki, "Hello, Sister! It is so good to see you, it has been far too long!"

She snuggles against him, "I have been right here, Brother. You can visit any time you like."

"Business both in Asgard and with the Avengers has been swift."

"It always will be, here or there. But do make time to stop by. I will miss you if you vanish entirely from my life."

"This from the you who tried to distance yourself from me so greatly."

"You said we were no longer brothers; I merely accepted your pronouncement."

"Then it was I who was the fool. But that is the past. Now is the time for celebration! Wanda tells me you had a date last night?"

Loki slips from his embrace and begins plating snacks, passing dishes to Magda for arrangement on the long narrow table that serves as the buffet, "Oh yes. A delightful one. And you will meet Alexi when he finishes his shift."

"I will be honoured to meet the one who has captured my Sister's heart. It is not every day I encounter someone who can still a soul so often in flight."

"I have not told him everything yet. So please, no revelations about my past. I have spoken of Asgard very little with Alexi. He knows I have something horrible to share, but he has been gracious enough to let me have two dates that have ended well without such unpleasantness."

"When do you plan to tell him?"

"Soon, Thor. Very soon."

Thor slowly folds the bags, carefully choosing his words, "The anniversary of our mother's death approaches. There will be a feast-"

"No, Thor. I cannot travel with you."

"I have Father's permission to bring you."

"No. And while I am grateful for what it must have taken you to receive said permission, I cannot attend. Give my regards to those we once called friends and light a candle for her in my stead."

He expected this resistence, but he does not like it, "Why do you persist in this stubbornness? She has done you no wrong."

"Exactly. That is why I will not attend. I will not cause strife with Odin by insisting on being in Asgard on the anniversary of her death. It would dishonour her to sow discord with my presence. And so I will stay here."

"You do not believe Father would hold his tongue?"

"Has he ever?"

He laughs, "Truer words have never been spoken. But enough of this. We have games, food, and, when the time comes, I will meet your beloved."

"Don't you dare call him that." The warning is playful, but it is still a warning.

"Fear not, Sister, I shall only call him by his name."

After a few hours of games, there is a knock on the door. While Loki answers, Magda opens the box of wine. Alexi is in a good mood even after a long day on his feet.

"Well don't you just look lovely today! You look good in a skirt."

"Thank you. You are looking dashing yourself. We are at the dining table. Come, I wish to introduce you to my brother."

"Oooo, the first test! I have to pass the brother inspection. I hope he's not cleaning a shotgun."

"You will have to explain that later."

"Yeah, I will."

Thor stands when they enter, "Alexi! It is good to meet you. Loki has spoken fondly of you."

"Alexi, this is Thor."

"Hey, Thor. It's nice to meet you." He turns to Loki, "Holy hell, he's taller in person than he looks on the TV."

Thor laughs, "I have noticed that Midgardian television rarely depicts me beside my more average height friends. Of course I do not look so tall beside Anthony in his suit, Bruce when he is green, or Steve with his shield. But beside Natasha, Wanda, or Clint? I appear much taller." He gestures to the chairs, "Would you care to take a seat? Magda was just teaching us one of Midgard's regional card games. Euchre, I think she called it."

"It is from the midwest. Michigan, mostly. Erie taught me. Settle in. We will finish this hand and I will sit out the next."

"Thanks, but you don't have to do that."

"Oh yes, I do- I am Loki's partner. We play across the table. So come sit beside me so you can learn. We cannot let Thor and Wanda win."

"Has anyone at this table other than you ever played this game?"

"Wanda."

"Oh good, I won't be too terrible."

They play games for hours. Magda retrieves another box of wine from her house. Loki starts supper and the kitchen is lively. She chases Thor out for not being helpful at least twice while he and Wanda are animatedly telling Alexi stories of their adventures.

After putting the rolls in the oven, Loki stretches and brushes her hair back from her face, "He seems to be getting along with everyone fine."

"Alexi? Yes. If by 'everyone' you mean Thor. We know him already."

"Yes."

"You were worried they would not like one another?"

"More-so that Thor would not behave himself. Or that Alexi would be too starstruck to see Thor as my brother, not just one of the famed Avengers."

"You have not yet told Alexi of your life in Asgard, have you?"

"No."

Magda sighs, "You and he are falling together beautifully. But you do need to talk. Before he learns any other way, be it from a slip of Thor's tongue or something goes wrong in Asgard and it seeks you out."

"I will."

She places a hand on Loki's shoulder, "Sooner, rather than later?"

"Yes. Just allow me to get through the anniversary of Frigga's death. Then we will talk."

"Of course."

"It should not feel like both an eternity and the blink of an eye, should it?"

"Grief touches us all differently. Is feels however it feels."

"Thank you, Magda."

"Shall I clear the table?"

"Yes. Supper will be ready soon."

Magda takes her time putting the games away and gathering the little plates and bowls from their snacking. Loki needs a moment alone and this is her way of giving it. A little break built into their plans. She deposits the dishes in the sink quietly, retrieves a box of tissue from the bathroom, and says nothing as Loki composes herself. Magda washes the dishes, sets the table, and stirs the curried vegetables.

"Are you ready for me to call the others to the table?"

Loki wipes her eyes, "Yes. Just allow me to escape to the bathroom first."

Magda brings the others to the table just as Loki slips back into the kitchen. She delivers steaming pans of rice, curried vegetables, and chicken to the table. The scents are tantalizing. The basket of rolls set in the centre completes the scene.

"I have rarely cooked before living here. But this is what Magda has taught me."

Thor and Alexi are both impressed by the meal. It tastes as good as it smells and there are no leftovers. When they finish, they drink wine and their games become progressively more silly as the night wears on. It is very late when Alexi leaves, kissing Loki's cheek after she walks him to the car. Magda and Wanda return next door and Thor settles into the guest room. Before he goes to bed, he stops by Loki's room. She sits at her dressing table brushing her hair. Her face washed clean of makeup, her clothes exchanged for a soft cotton robe, Loki is not much different from when they were younger.

"May I, Sister?"

"Yes, you may." Thor takes the brush and runs it through her waves.

"I have always loved your hair. When we were very young, I thought it odd that you were the dark haired one in a world of light haired people. I thought it meant you had been chosen for something special. Something grand. Something so very different than the fate expected of you. And when you cut Sif's hair and hers turned dark like yours, I though for certain that I had found the answer- someone had given you dwarvish hair. Mother rebuked me when I asked who had replaced your hair when you were so young. Of my theories, I think the first was the most accurate."

She leans back against Thor, the brush forgotten in favour of the quiet warmth of her brother's body, "Do you still believe such things, now that I am of Midgard?"

"Possibly more-so. You said you always felt under my shadow, and I do not see that Father would do better without Mother to temper him. Here, you are simply Loki. No one needs to know even that you are of Asgard. Your path is entirely your own. On that path you will do great things, my Sister."

"My life here will be so short. A blink, compared to that which I have already lived."

"Do you still feel the seconds ticking away? Can you feel your body dying?"

Loki closes her eyes as Thor rakes his fingers though the hair at her temples, "No."

"You are adapting. Learning. Becoming more of Midgard than of either Asgard or Jotunheim. Father told me this would happen."

"And why would he share this with you?"

"Because he does not want me to hurt too deeply when you forget me."

She sighs, "You are far more likely to forget _me_ , in your life of quests and adventures, my remaining 70 years, at best, a mere fragment of a day to you."

Thor wraps his arms around her, his voice quiet, firm, assuring in her ear, "I will not forget you. This I promise. I will visit you whenever I can. I will bring you word of Asgard if you ask. And I will smuggle things here from your other life, if you wish."

"Thank you."

He releases her and returns to brushing her hair, "I enjoyed meeting Alexi today. He seems like a good man."

"I am fond of him."

"I can tell. You have always worn your heart on your sleeve. How did you meet him?"

"He drops in to the refugee centre and into the Silvia Rivera Safe Haven."

"The what?"

"The Safe Haven- it is a transgender resource centre. Magda spends many hours there."

"Transgender. That is what you are, correct?"

"Yes."

"Is Alexi?"

"Yes. But he is always he. Just as Magda is always she."

"Magda was ever not she?"

"Yes."

"I would have never known. There are so many varieties of Midgardian people. Father acts as though they are all the same, but I have seen otherwise. It is one of the things that makes this realm remarkable."

"And now I am one of them."

"Yes, you are."

"One of millions. You say I will do great things, but I cannot help but feel entirely insignificant."

"Great things do not have to shatter the world. They can reshape only a part of it and still be great."

"Wise words, Thor. Who taught you those? Jane? A hero does not often think in terms of a small scale."

Thor sets down the brush and sits on the edge of the bed as Loki drops the bathrobe and readies for bed, "No. Mother."

Loki smiles, "Then I suppose it must be true." Thor tucks her into bed, kisses her forehead, and turns out the light, much as he did when they were still children.


	27. Chapter 27

Loki is quiet at work on the anniversary of his mother's death. Ralph does not ask why. He has accepted that his young apprentice is a little odd- that there are days he wears a decidedly feminine pair of trousers with a tunic or a his hair is a little more ornate than most young men. Ralph thinks this must just be something young people do that he does not entirely understand. He is fine with this. There are plenty of things that he does not understand about the world these days, including the whole bit about super heroes being real thanks to technology, horrible radiation accidents, and some of them falling out of the sky. So long as no one gets hurt, it not much bothers him. And a young man who keeps to himself and is lost in thought once in a while seems like something that can't hurt anyone.

Loki stays a little late at the bookshop and closes up without Ralph. He does not want to have to come in early, especially since he thinks he might not be able to sleep. He wanders home slowly, his scarf fluttering in the early autumn breeze. He has always loved this time of year, it is a time of transition, of change. His mother called it a bridging time. He cannot help but think that it was fitting she crossed over during a bridging. That it was this time of year he crossed into a new part of his own life; he had been utterly convinced that with her death, the last person who would ever care for him had died. And here he was again, in transition.

Of course, one of the thoughts that nags at him is that he is to blame for her death. The conversation, or, rather, argument, with Thor on their entrance to Svartalfheim haunts him.

 _"The son of Odin…"_

 _"No. Not just of Odin. You think you alone were loved of Mother? You had her tricks, but I had her trust."_

 _"Trust? Was that her last expression? Trust? When you let her die?"_

 _"What help were you in your cell?"_

 _"Who put me there? Who put me there!?"_

 _"You know damn well. You know damn well who!"_

Thor's raised fists over him seemed one punishment he actually deserved, even through all his hurt and anger. If he did fail her, being pummelled by her remaining son seemed only fitting. At that moment, he had been trying so hard to distance himself, to maintain that he was not her child, and had failed at it miserably. Not being hers would have made it hurt less, and nothing did.

And, of course, knowing that he told whatever that creature was to take the stairs to the left, wondering ever after if he told it to go straight to her and thusly he not only was unable to protect her, but he sent her to her death, always lingered close to his heart.

He hates reliving this every year.

He returns to his house and does not notice the little red Trabant parked in front of Magda's home. It is, therefore, a surprise when the lights are on in his house.

"Hello?"

Wanda appears, "Hello, Loki." He sets down his bag on the entry table and she folds him into her arms. He rests against her.

"How did you know I would need such a thing upon my arrival home?"

"Thor told us before he returned to Asgard."

"Ah."

She leads him to the dining table where Magda is lighting tea lights on a candelabra shaped like a tree, "We thought maybe we would bring Sokovian tradition to you to help you mark her passing."

"That looks very much like an ash."

"Yours is not the only culture that finds the tree sacred."

Magda greets him with an embrace and a kiss on each cheek, "Welcome home, my dear. Sit, and we will begin with a story." He does as she asks and they settle beside him, "Everyone is tied to a star. When one falls, it is because they have died. Thor told us that you send lights to the heavens at a death. Our people believed the heavens came to us, meeting the soul of the deceased to carry them home. We light candles in the cemetery on the graves of those who have gone before, a reminder that light is what brings us home. In older days, the family would feast by this light with a place set for their relations, the food left in the cemetery for them over the night. Their homes would be dark, all their lamps with the dead. But now we do things differently. We light candles in the cemetery and in our homes, and we feast at our own tables, a place set for those we have lost. Of course, a soul does not have to stay away. That is why we have the door open. On the anniversary of a death, it is said that the souls may visit, so long as there is a clear place for them to travel between the door and the table where their family sits." Loki notices that not only has she opened the balcony door, but she has placed a chair on the side of the table closest to it.

She continues, "But the final candle is lit by the family and placed on the plate left for the soul." She brings over a tall white pillar, "We tie a sprig of rosemary to it, for remembrance."

Wanda hands him matches, "Will you?"

He strikes the match. His hand trembles as he reaches the flame to the candle. He has to focus to steady his breathing. When it fizzles to life, Wanda slips the match from his fingers and pinches it out with dampened fingers. Magda places the candle on the plate in front of the empty chair.

"There are two other things we do before we take supper together. The eldest daughter lists the virtues of the deceased. Not all of them, but the ones closest to her heart. A sister may also do this, or a mother, aunt, grandmother, or niece. Just so long as it is a woman who speaks these words if at all possible. Men may do so if there are no women in the family remaining. And at the end of this, the person who has passed is asked to not forget the family and to send them love and light from beyond."

Wanda adds, "As you are both her eldest daughter and her youngest son, would you like to do this?"

He nods, "Patience. Gentle hands. An iron will. A willingness to fight for her children, even against her husband. And an open heart." He pauses, "Please, Mother, do not forget me. Us." He cannot continue.

"Love and light," whispers Wanda, and she kisses Loki's cheek, "Beautiful, Loki. Beautiful."

"Yes, love and light. Both things she also was."

Magda gives him time before she moves the moment forward. She does not know what time he has had to grieve, but she can see that he needs this and them, so she moves her chair closer, as Wanda has already done, and wraps her arms around him. Wanda does the same, and they let him break down in their embrace.

Loki has not allowed himself to mourn freely with no constraint on the amount of time he can cry for Frigga. But here, with the women he has come to see as his sisters, he lets himself disintegrate. There are no words left, only years of memories and hurt that he has kept shoved to the back of his mind and it all cascades down his cheeks in streams of tears.

When his tears slow, Magda wipes his cheeks and he takes deep breaths to calm himself, "I'm sorry, I just..."

"No." Magda gently turns his face toward her, "Do not ever apologize for grief. It a sign of deep love and nothing you should ever be sorry for."

"But I have never seen mourning here."

"In this culture, strong emotions are discouraged, but we are Sokovian and so things are different with us. We walked hand in hand with death for many years, so grief was never something we hid. And you should not hide these things with us, for we can help you bear them."

"Thank you. For all of this. You never knew her, yet...here you are."

"Thor told us she meant a great deal to you, so we could not let you struggle alone," Wanda adds.

"May I say the Mourner's Kaddish for her?"

"What is that?" Loki asks.

Magda drapes a white shawl with fringe at the corners over her hair and shoulders, "Sokovia is a largely Jewish nation. Our faith survives because those who wished to kill us did not want to deal with our mountains. And so our isolation saved us when many were being slaughtered across Europe. The Kaddish is a prayer for god to come to us, to bring the peace of the world after to our world. And we say it to comfort the living after the death of a loved one. The ritual is beautiful even if one does not believe a single word of it."

"Yes, I would like to hear it."

"It is said in Hebrew, the language of our forefathers and foremothers. I will translate after, if you wish."

Loki nods, and she begins. It is like nothing he has heard before, the melody both strange and familiar, as though it resonates with something in him that is deep in his soul. He lets it hang in the air after she finishes.

"Would you like me to translate?"

"Not now. I would like to leave it's beauty untouched."

She smiles, removes her shawl, and slips from the table, "When you are ready, come to the kitchen. I will teach you how to cook like a Sokovian grandmother." She ties a kerchief over her hair and quietly begins to set out dishes and pans in the kitchen. After a few moments, Loki and Wanda join her.

The kitchen smells incredible the moment the spices hit the hot oil. There are sausages to fry, noodles to make, and doughs to wrap around things, to bake, to boil, and to drop into hot oil. They make enough food to eat for days and when they finally bring everything to the table, Wanda pours a glass of cider for the soul's plate and tears a chunk of bread off one of the loaves to place over it.

"An offering."

"Ah. And what does one do with it after it has been offered?" Loki stands at the setting, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the edge of the plate with the candle on it.

"Tradition states it is for the dead, so they may feast with us," Wanda answers.

"But my father used to sneak downstairs to eat it during the night," Magda continues, "Usually that is how such things go, so in the morning, the children believe the soul did visit. You may do with it what you wish. When we do this for Pietro, we place the bread outside for the birds and share the wine in his memory."

"But come, sit. We have plenty to share amongst ourselves." Wanda passes the sausages and they feast together on warm meats and breads, a fitting meal for a chilly fall evening. The meal is spent mostly in quiet, but it is not awkward or uncomfortable. It just _is_ and that is what it needs to be. Then Loki's phone rings. When he retrieves it from his bag, he sees it is Alexi. He tells the phone to send the call to voicemail and returns to the table.

"Alexi. I will return his call later."

Magda smiles, "I am happy you and he are growing close. He had a very difficult time transitioning to life in this country, but when he figured it out, he adapted very suddenly. He was never open about himself when in Sokovia, either. Then, shortly after he discovered how to be a New Yorker, he showed up to the centre as a man. He is delightful, but there are some days I worry that he might have moved too quickly. If he is happy, though, who am I to question his decisions?"

"He speaks of you fondly."

"He is sweet."

Magda leans her elbow on the table and her chin on her hand, "So, you must tell. Have you kissed yet?" She grins, Loki blushes, "Oh, I believe that is a confession!"

"Yes, yes it is. Wanda will confirm. She called me after that date."

"I called you at noon the next day. You did not sleep until morning."

"Yes, and it was wonderful. But I do not know if it will stay that way."

"Why not?"

"I have not told him my story. Everything I have done. There are secrets yet to tell that he may not wish to deal with. But I will. Likely tomorrow or the next day. I wanted to get through this day first, though. One heartbreak at a time."

"You do not know that you will face heartbreak." Magda takes his hand, "Give Alexi the chance to hear you and the time to take it all in."

"I will. But despite all you both have done for me, I still have little confidence in others doing the same. Especially after they realise it was I who invaded this city with the Chitauri army."

"Move only forward, my dear, and let those who will not come with you stand in your wake. Even if it hurts, you may have to let them slip by. I do not think this is Alexi, but only he can be the one to make that decision."

"I know."

Wanda sighs, "I would say to call me if you need to talk after, but I am leaving with the team for a mission to retrieve an artefact very early tomorrow morning. Something is causing time loops on an individual basis. We have never seen anything like it. Tony said I should be at a briefing right now, but I do not think it is as important as us. Please call Magda, though, if you need her. We are all family, we will both help as best we can."

"Time skips? That sounds like a very powerful object."

"Thor believes it may be an infinity stone. There are two yet unaccounted for. The time stone and the soul stone."

"Who has control of the time stone?"

"We do not know. We suspect it may be HDYDRA. But we will find out when we get there. SHIELD intelligence has gained us a pattern of incidents around a location. I cannot tell you more than that. But it will be difficult to obtain, and we are being very careful in planning our approach."

Loki takes her hand, "I wish you did not have to go. I do not like this risk."

"Nor do I, but it is not the first time I have seen her off on a mission, wondering if she would return. We will survive together, darling. And we will both be here to greet her on her return." Magda smiles at him and it is reassuring, even though he knows that if this is one of the stones, there will be very dangerous creatures seeking it as well.


	28. Chapter 28

When Loki calls Alexi back the day after Frigga's memorial, he tells him they need to talk about his past. That it will not be an easy conversation. Alexi suggests they meet in the square under the ash.

Loki is ten minutes early because he cannot sit still in the house and he thinks a book in the park might help. He brings Wilkie Collins with him, but not even "The Moonstone" can keep his interest for longer than a few moments. He gives up after reading the same page four times. He still does not know what happened on it. He checks the time on his phone. Five minutes and Alexi will arrive. He fiddles with the edge of the book. A familiar car pulls up and Loki's heart pounds just a little harder.

Loki rises to greet his guest and they hug, then sit, "So...you probably just want to get to the tough stuff, don't you?"

"Yes. I would like that."

"OK. Shoot. What's bothering you?"

Loki starts from Thor's coronation. He cannot make eye contact as he tells his story, so instead he stares at the ground beyond his book. Alexi holds his hand, even when the details are horrifying. The fall from the Bifrost, Thanos, the Chitauri. New York. And after, the dungeons, the creature that broke free, Frigga's death, and Svartalfheim. Being stabbed through. Death and whatever freed him from it. The throne. Being caught. Being cast out. Trying to die. Wanda. And there he ends, waiting.

"Oh my god. That's...that's rough."

"To put it mildly, yes."

"I can't even...I don't know what to think, Loki. You tried to take over our entire planet."

"A foolish endeavour, for certain. But my other option was a long and tortuous death. At least death in battle would have been quick. Had Asgard stepped it, it would have been assured."

Alexi sighs, "I think I need a little time to think about all this. To really take it in."

Loki's heart sinks and he knows his face shows it, "Oh."

"This isn't saying we're over. Please don't think that." He takes his hands, "But I don't know how to even fathom this. Some of this stuff...I tend to forget you're not from around here. And that anybody could do what's been done to you to somebody...I just can't imagine. I need to let this simmer so I can really get it." Loki does not know how to respond, "Just a few days. Then I'll call. I promise."

He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, "A few days. Alright."

"I'll call. Don't worry." He kisses Loki's cheek and leaves.

Loki does not know what to think. He tries to shut down his mind, to focus on his book, but instead, all he can think of is that Alexi will call, yes, but it will be to tell him that they are over. This hurts immensely. He wants to call Wanda, but she is out of contact with the Avengers. He instead goes to Magda's door. She answers and invites him in, worried by the look on his face. She walks him to her couch and drops beside him.

"I told Alexi who I am. He said he needs time to think. He will call in a few days."

"Oh, darling, you were so brave to tell him."

"Yes, and because of it, now I think I may have lost him."

"Did he say that?"

"No. He said not to think such a thing, but that he would call. I am afraid of what conclusions he will draw in this time, though. I shouldn't have said anything."

"You need to be able to be honest with a lover, Loki. The same way you are with Wanda and I. There cannot be such things between you that make you afraid of speaking about your past or your family. You needed to speak. Alexi will either choose to accept you as you are, or to not. You cannot change this. And you do not want to stay with someone who will not embrace everything you are and accept that you have done what you have done."

"But I want him to. I really do..." A few tears sneak down his cheek and he hastily wipes them away.

"I know. You care for Alexi deeply. And I hope he will come to terms with what you have said quickly. What can I do for you while you wait?"

"Can you make hot chocolate?"

She smiles, "Of course. Would you then like to stay up late watching terrible movies? Tomorrow is Sunday. Neither of us work."

"I think I would like that very much."

"Good. I will make popcorn."

"At some point, we might have to make supper. There are leftovers from yesterday in my refrigerator."

"When we are hungry, we will go get them. For now, though, we will eat snacks."

"Magda?"

"Yes, Loki?"

"You are a very good sister."

She smiles, "You're a wonderful little brother, too. Even though you are a few centuries older than me."


	29. Chapter 29

Loki falls asleep on Magda's floor watching "Plan 9 From Outer Space". He has no idea what the movie is about. Sleeping through the end of it won't hurt much. When he wakes, there is a blanket tucked around him. He clutches it around him and wanders downstairs. Pans clatter in the kitchen. The late morning light filters through the windows.

"Good morning, Loki."

"Good morning, Magda. What time is it?"

"Half past ten. Breakfast will be ready in a few moments. Omelettes. I used some of the sausages in them. They will be the best omelettes ever."

"I do not know if I have ever had an omelette."

"I will drown them in cheese, too. They will be amazing. A culture as advanced as yours cannot have neglected to invent the omelette. What else do you do with eggs?"

"We hard boil them. And we fry them. And I have had them scrambled with quite a few herbs."

"This is better. A little pillow of delight." She gestures to the table and piles a plate with food, "Eggs. Potatoes. And fried tomatoes. All a very good way to start the morning."

"That it is. Thank you for allowing me to stay here last night."

"Any time you need to, you are welcome. Family, remember?"

"Yes, of course. Is Wanda coping well with adding a brother?"

"Slowly, yes. She adores you, but calling anyone but Pietro by the word is still hard for her. But she does see you as her sibling, even if she cannot say it yet."

"It seems we all struggle a bit with our families."

"Yes. Some more than others, but yes. It is not uncommon."

"Not all of us were raised by the All-Father. Or tortured by HYDRA with our twin."

"Yes, this is true. But still. Our lives are all woven together. And many of us have had controlling and harsh parents or undergone deep and traumatic things with our siblings. The details may be different, but the lasting effects are not so much."

"You draw these parallels easily."

"My job is do connect refugees from different parts of the world by showing them their common experience so they can better help one another. I have to be good at finding commonality."

"Yes, of course. I hope Wanda is safe. I know she just left, but I cannot help but worry, given what it is she is seeking."

"There will be others after the stone."

"Yes."

"And you know who one of them might be."

"I know who one of them _will_ be, or, rather, who will send his agents. And he is brutal. This frightens me."

"Wanda is smart. She will find her way home to us."

"I know. But I worry. How do you not?"

Magda shrugs, "It is not that I do not worry, but that I know I can do nothing to change her work, so worrying is useless. She will do what she will do. And I will be here waiting when she returns home."

"I am not so patient, but I will be here, too."

"I know. That is how family works, when it works."

Loki thinks back to all the times he waited for Thor when they were much younger when Thor rode off to war. He always sat impatiently at home, waiting for word, reading every report that was sent back from the field. But he did wait. And when he went astray and was in danger, Thor did not bother to wait, he sought him out. He wonders if he could do this for Wanda, now that he is simply one of Midagard.


	30. Chapter 30

Monday morning, Loki rises early to get ready for work. He dresses, ties back his hair, eats breakfast, and settles in for a few moments of reading when there is a knock on his door. He jumps to his feet, thinking that it must be an urgent message at this hour. He opens the door and there, with a sweater pulled tightly around him, is Steve Rogers.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Loki. Thor told me how to find you. There's been an incident...which house is Magda's? He said you were next door."

"What has happened?" He cannot envision good news being the reason for this visit and his mind immediately jumps to the worst possible conclusion. His heart sinks.

"Wanda's missing. I only want to have to explain this once, though. Can you show me to Magda's door?" Loki feels the blood drain from his face and he feels ill. He takes a deep breath, grabs his bag, and locks the house behind him, "Are you OK?"

"Come." He leads the way and knocks.

Magda, her purse in hand, opens it, "Good morning Loki. Unless this is terribly urgent, can we wait to talk? I am going to be late for work."

"Then you will be late. This is an emergency."

She notices Steve behind him, "Oh god. What has happened?" She steps aside and they settle in her living room.

Loki sits beside her on the couch and takes her hands, "Captain Rogers has informed me that Wanda is missing."

"No... What happened?"

"I can't quite say, ma'am because we don't entirely know. We were in a research facility that she said looked like a HYDRA design. She was leading. One moment, she was in front of us, the next, she'd vanished. We looked everywhere, but couldn't find her. Clint disappeared for a moment, too. He said he thinks he went back in time to a rock concert- the guy who sang in the band he was listening to is dead. He reappeared the same place he'd disappeared from just a few moments later. We are definitely dealing with a very powerful artefact."

"Wanda mentioned an infinity stone. Magda, has she told you anything about these things?"

"A little."

"Then you know they bend reality as we know it."

"Yes."

"There is one that bends time. I would think this must be what was used against her."

"Is someone still there in case she returns the same way?"

"Yes, ma'am. Thor, actually, and Natasha. We've got radio contact and they'll let us know if they find anything. There's a SHIELD team with them- I've been told it's the best team they've got."

"And you are certain the SHIELD team is not HYDRA?" Loki asks. Wanda has mentioned the infiltration and he is not sure if having SHIELD with his brother is comforting or not.

"Yes. The director vouched for them. They're his team and the only team that survived the fall of SHIELD."

"Ah."

"He's got a personal reason for wanting to make sure this stone doesn't fall into the wrong hands. Thanks to you, actually."

"It is no wonder Director Fury would want to assure I could not get another one after New York."

"Fury's not in charge of SHIELD anymore. Phil Coulson is."

"Oh. OH. Yes, he would be rather intent on this."

"And despite the fact that he's in New York, I think you both should come to the tower for a little while. Maybe something you know about Wanda could help us find her."

Magda sighs, "I would, but I must work."

"As must I. The bookshop will not run itself."

"Well talk to your bosses. It would be a good idea."

Magda checks the time, "I am sorry, but I am the only one running the centre today. I need to unlock doors before my clients arrive. Thank you, Captain, for bringing us the bad news." They leave the house. Magda drives away without saying anything else.

Loki lingers by Steve for a moment, "We will come. Arrangements have to be made. Neither of us will be able to wait long."

"Call me when you're on your way. I'll have apartments set up for you."

"Of course." Steve hands him a scrap of paper with his number and returns to his car. Loki begins the long walk to the store.


	31. Chapter 31

Ralph checks the clock. Five minutes past nine. It is the first time his apprentice has ever been late. He checks another clock just to be sure. He goes to the front door and looks down the street. A few long blocks away, he sees a dark figure in the distance, trousers swishing, a scarf fluttering around him in the breeze. His gait is fairly distinct. No one strides quite like Loki. But as he gets closer, he sees that his shoulders are bent and he keeps his head to the ground. Ralph returns to the back office and makes another pot of coffee. He starts the electric kettle. Loki likes tea, and if Ralph knows anything about watching people, tea is the only thing that might fix whatever is making his young friend walk like the world has fallen on his shoulders.

The bell on the door clangs and he steps out with the steaming mugs, "Mornin', Loki."

"Good morning, Ralph."

"You look like somebody kicked your kitten. Here, have tea."

"Thank you. I need it." He drops his bag in the office and sits down at the small desk behind the counter.

"You want to tell me what's going on?"

"On Friday, I honoured the anniversary of my mother's death. On Saturday, I...I told the person I have been dating about my family life. It did not go well, and...well, this person..."

"If it's your boyfriend, just say it. I don't care. There's a reason I'm a single old man running a bookshop. My 'he' ran out years ago."

"Yes. My boyfriend...or at least the person I have grown quite close to and hope would assent to using the term, asked for time and space to consider all I had told him. There are less than rosy things in my history. So it is possible that I lost him. He has not yet called, though he said he would in a few days. And then this morning, I learned that my dear friend is missing."

"Oh hell. Did you call the police?"

"She is with SHIELD, and they are handling it. But that only makes it worse."

"You've had one hell of a weekend."

"I have. Her partner and I would like to travel to help them look for her, or at least give clues. We know her better than anyone else."

"So do you want the rest of the week off? Or today? It's fine if you do."

"I think I need today to be normal. But if I could at least take a few days this week, I would be very grateful."

"Tell you what. Take the rest of the week off, and if they send you back here before Friday, just come in when you can."

"Thank you."

"What do you want to work on today?"

"Paperwork. Sorting. Anything that I can let consume my mind so I do not think about what may have happened to her."

"Good. You can start organizing receipts so we can be ready for taxes come January."

"Ah, the most tedious of tasks. Perfect."

Loki occupies himself in this way all day. Before he leaves, Ralph wishes him luck. As he walks, he texts Magda, letting her know that if she can arrange for time off, he can go with her to the tower any time during the week. When he arrives home, she is packing a suitcase into her car.

"You wish to leave tonight?"

"Yes. We are of no use out here."

"I know. But I also know the stones are powerful and it is unlikely we can do much to help. Please do not get your hopes up that we will provide some clue that will instantly bring her home."

Magda sighs, "I know. But still. I want to leave tonight."

"Can we eat first? There are still leftovers from Friday and I am quite hungry."

She closes the trunk of her car and follows him into his house, "That is a better plan. I will cook while you pack."

Loki brings down the suitcase as Magda sets the table. They eat, wash dishes, and check that the lights are turned out, then toss his luggage in the back seat. Loki calls Steve, but they spend most of the trip in silence.

It is only when they are halfway there that Magda speaks, "Why would Director Coulson have a _personal_ interest in this stone because of you?"

"Because I ran him through with the Chitauri sceptre that had the mind stone in it before the battle of New York."

"You what?!"

"Ran him through. About here." He gestures to his chest, "I have no idea how he is alive."

"You are far too calm about this"

"I cannot change it. I am trying to see that entire time as one of bitter, irrational, rash actions taken out of a desperate need to be anyone other than myself. To best all others in brutality and cruelty if I would only live in my brother's shadow were I to try to live the same as he. Thor was the perfect protector, the golden son. So I chose to be his opposite."

"And now?"

"I have no power. No pressures from Asgard. No need to shine above Thor. Odin will not watch me here, this realm is one he holds in low regard. I cannot be better than any of them, or even equals. So my only option is to let all that go and do what I can exceedingly well."

"Is this more of who you were growing up? Wanda told me you have changed much in only a few years, for worse and then better."

"I had magic before. For making mischief, for shapeshifting, for deception. I am far more placid than I have been in centuries. Once I learned gained the skill, I happily played trickster."

"We have illusionists here. Performers who can make someone appear to have coins hidden in their ears, or who can use slight of hand to make scarves appear to change to doves. It is not the same, but if you miss mischief, we are not without our pranksters and illusionists."

"While enjoy my more quiet pursuits, I do miss that play."

"When we return, we will find a book. But now, we are here."

Loki peers up at the tower, It seems more foreboding than it did when he lived in it. Magda speaks to someone on the other end of a security telephone and the steel gate whooshes open to let them in. A path lights up on the pavement and she zips through the tunnels following it. She parks beside the little red Trabant. Loki cannot help but lightly brush his fingers along the fender as they walk by.

Steve meets them at the door, "You made it. I'm glad. We'll head right up to the labs- SHIELD has set up their tech. Tony's freaking out whenever this gal named Skye touches anything. She's tried to hack his security. It's a game now. Watching it, well, it's kind of funny, actually."

Magda's face is set, stony, and she nods briskly, "Then let us go there. If there is any help we might be able to give, perhaps their analysts can direct us. We cannot risk her by delaying."

Loki takes her hand, "They may not be able to tell us much. SHIELD is not forthcoming with its secrets."

"But we are here-" it is clear she is already frustrated.

"And they have their own time. Wanda has told me this much. I know she has told you this as well."

"She has. Many times. And it is infuriating."

The elevator doors whisk open and they are led into a room buzzing with activity, with holographic displays, and with three dimensional projected maps on large tables. A young woman with a laptop leans against a table, typing intently. Tony hovers over her shoulder. She tries to shoo him away and he offers her an apple. She looks at him as though he's crazy and he shrugs it off. The moment he is gone, returns to her typing. A small smile creeps across her face and one of the monitors next to Tony starts flashing.

"Damn it, woman! How did you do that? I have programs to stop that!"

"And another win for Skye!"

"Seriously, how did you do that?"

"Because I'm super smart, that's how."

"But I'm super smart. How did your super smart outsmart my super smart?"

Steve claps his hands, "Excuse me, Tony? Can we interrupt for a minute? Magda and Loki are here to help find Wanda and we need to borrow Skye."

The young woman clicks a few things on her laptop and an overlay pops up on the map, "There's their last known location. There's where Maximoff disappeared. You can see Rogers and Romanov close behind- they should have been able to see it. But they didn't, she just vanished, poof, gone. The team's scoured the area. This line here shows all the places they've been. We know from what Barton said, though, that there's got to be some kind of temporal effect."

Loki can feel Magda's building tension as he holds her hand; he squeezes back, trying to be reassuring, "So what is it you would like from us?"

'We're trying to figure out what they want with her."

"They are HYDRA, are they not?"

"Yeah. Well, that's our best guess. Intel says this was one of their bases, and there's chatter that HYDRA's got a new weapon."

"And they are likely trying to lure her back, as she was one of their projects."

"We figured that. We don't know what _for,_ though. But how would they make her do what they want?"

Magda sighs, "Pietro."

"But he's dead."

"Yes, but if it could send Barton back decades, it could easily send her back to see him."

Loki has a different revelation, "Or not. What if they retrieved him?"

"What do you mean? You can't just steal somebody from the past. It would mess up the now."

He shakes his head, "Where was his body taken after Sokovia?"

"What are you getting at?"

"Is it possible that they retrieved him just after his death? His power was speed, no? Did that apply to healing? And is it possible that HYDRA acquired the stone, went back to when you thought he was dead and safely stowed, retrieved him, and brought him back? Pietro is the only reason Wanda would willingly stay with them. If they have her, and they have her brother, you have two rescues, not only one, to perform." All eyes in the room are on Loki.

Skye calls across the room, "Coulson!" Loki's hand twitches in Magda's. "Yo, A.C.- I need to look for a body. Where might I find it?"

Phil turns toward her, "What kind of body and why?"

"This guy's theory is pretty decent."

Their eyes meet and Loki quickly drops his gaze to the floor, "That _guy_ is Loki. Thor's brother. The one who invaded New York and stabbed me in the chest. So I'm not really inclined to trust him. What's he doing here, anyway?"

"He has been stripped of his long life, his magic, and all things that made him of another world. And he is here because he is very dear to Wanda and to me. And you lost her. So here we are." Magda's voice is clipped, brisk, she is irritated by Skye and Tony playing hackers instead of working, and she doesn't like the edge she hears in the director's voice, "So if we can get back to finding her...?"

"And who are you?"

"Magda. Captain Rogers asked for us to come."

Steve steps in, "You asked for things they might use to keep her, so I brought the experts on her. As strange as all this time travel thing is, if Barton really did travel back in time, and not just to an alternate dimension or a delusion, Loki's theory actually sounds plausible."

Phil sighs, "OK, fine. What is it?"

Loki repeats, "Is it possible that, given the powers of the time stone, HYDRA retrieved Pietro's body after it was brought back from Sokovia? Did is speed also apply to his healing? Pietro is the strongest leverage HYDRA could have to coerce Wanda to stay with them."

"So I need to find a body," adds Skye, "Or at least where a body should have been."

Phil calls over a twitchy young man, "Fitz, you and Skye need to comb records, find out what happened to Pietro Maximoff's body after the Sokovia incident."

The SHIELD team sets to work and Tony drifts towards Magda and Loki, "So...you guys are staying the night."

"We are here so long as we are needed," Magda replies.

"Yeah, well, still not too happy with this guy. But that's a solid idea. Time travel. Who'd have thought we'd be dealing with time travel? They could just stash her somewhere...somewhen? -we'd never look and we couldn't do a thing about it. Maybe that's why we can't find her. They're in the HYDRA facility, but they're not in it _now_. How do you even search that?"

"These stones take a massive amount of energy to use. You have seen this, have you not? I could not simply use the space stone to open a portal to the Chitauri home world, I needed the energy from this tower. And while the mind stone was in the sceptre, it drew from my energy, the magic I could conjure. I do not know how HYDRA powered it to create Wanda and Pietro's powers, but it must have been dark energy or something of it's ilk. It took a jolt from Mjolnir to fuse it to Vision's mind. Shouldn't there be some sort of energy surge when it sweeps someone into a different time? And would not that be sustained for so long as they are kept there, or, perhaps, when they return?"

Tony gapes at Loki, "How the hell are you so damn smart about this stuff?"

"Oh, being part of a plot to acquire them, it seems I picked up a few things."

"Are you sure you're not still evil?"

"Quite."

"I'm sleeping with the suit tonight, just in case."

"I assure you, I mean you no ill will. I am here to help find my dear friend."

"Yeah, well, you're also creeping me out with this whole infinity stone thing."

"I have no doubt I am also making Director Coulson rather uncomfortable. But if Magda and I can help bring her home more quickly, then perhaps your discomfort is worth her life?"

"Well, yeah, I just mean...seriously, you used one of those things to take over people's minds. Clint's mind. Dr Selvig's mind. And now you're standing here trying to think up ways that we'll find another one. That kind of freaks me out."

"Do you distrust Wanda?"

"What?"

"Do you distrust Wanda?"

"No."

"She trusts me. If you cannot trust my intentions, then trust hers."

"No offense, but you're supposed to be a master liar and trickster. I don't think she should trust you at all." He turns to Magda, "And I don't really know who you are, but I don't think you should trust him, either."

Magda holds his gaze, "I have no reason to distrust him. But you? You stole my country from under my feet. I have every reason to distrust you." She turns to Steve, "If we are no longer needed here, could you please show us to our rooms?"

"Certainly." Loki leaves with Magda.

Tony turns to his tablet, "Right. Energy surges. Big ones. And some kind of time wormhole. This job just keeps getting weirder."


	32. Chapter 32

In the sparse apartment, the same one Loki stayed in during his first weeks in Midgard, they have quiet. Steve insists that they take some time to rest and brings their luggage to them. Magda plays games on her phone, trying to distract herself. Loki tries to read, but his book fails to keep his interest. He sits cross-legged on the floor in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows and stares out over the city. His mind is spinning. He has been operating on autopilot all day, unwilling to stop to feel much of anything. When he has inadvertently let that process begin, a dread so deep it squeezed his chest and froze his mind crept in. He shut it down. But keeping that feeling pushed back was becoming more difficult.

When his phone rings, he nearly jumps out of his skin. It is Alexi.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Loki."

"I was beginning to think you would not call."

"I promised I would."

"I know."

"Didn't you trust me?"

"Yes, I trust you. And I do not trust anyone at the same time."

"That betrayal thing. Right. Odin."

"Precisely."

"Well I did some thinking. Your trust issues suck. Big time. That's going to make this hard."

"Alexi, I'm sorry. I really am. I want to trust you. Fully, deeply, immersively. I just cannot figure out how."

"See a therapist. Work through it."

"I have no idea what a therapist is, but if you think I need one, I will do so."

"Sometimes I forget how new you are to Earth."

"Still less than a year."

"Yeah, I know. Anyway, I don't know how to handle the other stuff. Trying to destroy Jotunheim. The whole thing. All those people. And your total disregard for our lives in this world. I don't want to date a psychopath. And that's pretty scary, psychopathy stuff. Convince me you're not crazy."

"I cannot. All I can tell you is that I was trying to best Odin. It failed. And there is no way to do such. I am not of their ilk. I will never rise to bask in the light of his attention as Thor so often did. But I will be happy if I have yours. Please."

"OK. But if you want to impress me, try flowers. No invasions."

"Of course."

"Loki?"

"Yes?"

"Are you really a different person? Or would you do it again if you had the chance?"

"I am growing. Severed from Asgard, things are so much different. I do not think I would attempt to destroy Jotunheim, had I the chance now. Nor do I think I would invade this place to rule as a god."

"You do know that killing people, even the ones you don't like, is wrong, right?"

"Yes."

"You don't sound so convinced."

"I have centuries of experience in a warrior culture to undo. I have made progress."

"That's only sort of reassuring."

"I know. But I am learning."

"Are you OK?"

"That depends on how badly this conversation ends."

"Oh. Why?"

"I have, since Friday, mourned my mother, thought I had lost you, and learned that Wanda has gone missing from her mission. I am a bit strained."

"Wait, Wanda's missing? Oh my god."

"SHIELD is looking for her. I am at Mr Stark's tower."

"Is Magda OK?"

"We are holding up together."

"Holy hell. And you're still worried about us. Well, let's get to that news, then."

"Yes?"

"This is going to be tough, but I want to try to get past all the horrible stuff you've done. You're fun to be with, and I think we'll be amazing together. So...Halloween's coming up and there's a big party at one of the queer clubs. Everybody dresses up. Do you want to go?"

"Yes!"

"Good. I'll pick you up at six on Halloween. Last day in October. Wear a costume. I'll see you then."

"Alexi?"

"Hmmm?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, babe. Catch you later."

"Indeed. Until we meet."

He puts down the phone and falls back on the carpet, "Magda, I have had a bit of good news."

"I heard much of your conversation. Alexi is a good man."

"Yes, he is. And he still wants to see me, despite my having been very much not a good man for a few years."

"But you have lived so long. It was not so many as a matter of percentages."

"No, it is not. But those years are recent and so deeply terrible."

"Then do not make the same mistakes. But remember, always forward."

"Yes. Forward. So tell me about Halloween."

"It is a holiday for tricks and masquerades. You will like it."

They do not hear any news the next day and they go to bed anxious. Loki cannot sleep and he tosses and turns on the couch while he thinks Magda is asleep in the bedroom. It is around two when she stumbles from the bedroom in her fluffy bathrobe and heads straight for the kitchen. She turns on the light. He tosses off his blanket and follows.

"Oh, hello. Did I wake you up?"

"No, I haven't been sleeping. The couch is comfortable, but I just cannot stop thinking."

"I know."

"They aren't telling us anything and we can't help. Do we need to stay another day, or would it be best to go home to a place that is at least comforting?"

"I want to be here to greet her when they bring her home, to hold her and tell her things are going to be right again...but I do not know when that will be and I feel absolutely useless. I can be useful to my clients at home."

"And I can busy myself at the bookshop."

"In the morning, we will pack. And we will tell them we are leaving. Hopefully they will understand."

He hugs her and they take coffee together before they try one more time to get some rest.

They rise early, packing their bags, eating breakfast, and setting the luggage in a neat row beside the couch. Then they go up to the lab.

When they step from the lift, Phil Coulson strides over to them and blocks their path, "I'm sorry if we gave you the impression that you could come up any time you wanted to, but we're in the middle of an active mission and you're going to have to leave."

"And do what? We have been here for a few days. We were asked to be here, and why? We have heard nothing. We sat all day yesterday in a room with little furnishing, amusing ourselves on our telephones, because it was far worse to let our minds wander. My love is missing. All you can tell me is go away. So we will. You can come to us if you hear anything." She turns away, stops and reaches for Loki's hand.

"I'm sorry, but SHIELD doesn't bring family members into our investigations. You shouldn't have been called."

"But we were. And yet you changed nothing. Not even your little games." She glares over her shoulder in Skye's direction.

"All she wanted was an update, Director. Nothing more. Even someone to simply say you do not know anything yet, but you are still diligently searching. Or the honesty to admit if you have given up. Either would suffice. I do not know what they did to you to keep you alive, and I am sorry if my presence here is too disturbing, but do not punish Magda- surely they did not leave you without a heart." He walks with her to the elevator.

"We haven't given up."

Loki glances back over his shoulder, "Thank you."

Tony darts by Phil and slips between them and the opening lift doors, "Hey. Wait up a minute."

Loki opens his mouth to speak, but Magda beats him to it, "Why?"

"Look, I'm sorry if it looked like we were just messing around when you got here. Skye's one of the best hackers in the business and so am I. She wanted a challenge she could run in the background while we worked, I gave her one. We're really doing everything we can to figure out where she is."

"Mr Stark, I hurt. Every inch of my soul is terrified that she is dead. And there is no one here who has cared to acknowledge that Wanda has a family that cares deeply for her and is worried sick."

"We're worried, too. Everybody here is. We have an agent missing, a possible infinity stone in play, and nobody knows what it does. Except that it sent Clint to see Queen. We have no idea what the hell that was about. I'm sorry if we can't update you every day, but it's because we're working around the clock trying to find her."

"Knowing such makes it only a little better. You have someone you love, do you not? Imagine you were in my place and she were missing. You would not sit back and wait for someone else to save her. You could not. It is not in your nature. I do not have your suits. I must wait, whether it is easy or not. She is not just your agent. You would do best to remember that."

"So what do you want me to do, huh? Waste time I could be monitoring screens by calling everybody she knows?"

"Were you to go missing, who would they notify? Everyone you know?"

"No. Just Pepper."

"Exactly. I am her Pepper. A text. A minute, at most. 'No news, still looking.' Nothing complicated, it would suffice. And I will tell Loki. It will sustain us."

"We'll see."

"You damn well better." She squeezes Loki's hand and he gives her a nod. They leave. They retrieve their bags and return home.


	33. Chapter 33

Loki and Magda return to their lives without any sign of Wanda. Loki's idea about the amount of energy needed to transport a person through time leads to an interesting pattern of energy signatures and a new layer on the map, but not to finding Wanda. Skye cannot find the location of Pietro's body in any of SHIELD's files.

Magda spends most of her time either working or sleeping. When Loki checks on her after work, she is tired and usually on her way to bed. He throws himself into the business of running the bookshop, often coming in early to do paperwork and sort new acquisitions. When he runs out of things to do, he polls customers to find out what would bring them back to the bookshop more often. He is frustrated that the answers usually involve needing more time and something called a Kindle. He jokes to himself that perhaps he should acquire the time stone and make the shop a temporal vortex where one can spend as long as they like without it effecting the time outside.

When they spend evenings together, they are tired, physically and emotionally, and they say little, cooking together in the quiet, eating while listening to Magda's records of old Sokovian folk music, and once in a while, falling asleep together on the couch or, once, on top of the covers in her bed, too hurt to care about anything other than that they desperately need one another. They rarely talk about Wanda, when they talk at all. They both worry. Magda, though, worries about Loki as well. While he seems to be holding up, she knows he feels everything deeply and that he has done dark things out of pain and grief.

Then Natasha arrives. She drives up to the row houses and checks the addresses on the paper Steve gave her. She wonders who to talk to first, and just who Magda is to Wanda. Or, for that matter, how she and Loki are close enough to warrant this visit. She doesn't know who to talk to first- she doesn't really want to talk to Loki by herself. She goes to Magda's door and knocks. It is a Saturday morning. She hopes someone is home. A voice calls out that someone is coming and she can faintly hear music through the door.

Loki greets her, "Oh. Hello. Is there news?"

"Not much. I thought this was Magda's house- I'm sorry, Steve must have mixed up the addresses."

"No, no, he is correct. Come in. Magda is just making breakfast."

"Oh, I'll come back later when I'm not interrupting."

Magda calls from the kitchen, "Come in, come in! Please, stay, eat! When we have guests, we feed them- old Sokovian tradition!"

Loki steps aside and tries to smile, his mind racing, wondering just why she has come, "So, is there news of Wanda's disappearance? Have you found her?"

Magda, wiping her hand on a towel, goes to turn down the music, "It has been so long and we have been told nothing."

"We haven't found her. But we have noticed energy surges in the area and we're trying to track them down. Skye thinks they might not be from now, but residual from the stone being used somewhen else."

"Somewhen?" Magda asks, "You have a new word for this?"

"We're dealing with time travel- a completely new phenomenon. We've had to make up some new ways to talk about it."

She slips back to the kitchen, "I can hear you from here. Keep speaking."

"We switched teams. I came home, Agent Mae, who was leading our backup team on the ground, went in. Tony went over. Thor's still on the ground. He insisted that he didn't need a break. I did. It's tough to keep looking when it seems like you're getting nowhere, even if the people back home are finding out all kinds of stuff. Steve told me you'd come to New York. Both of you. And all Wanda's told me was that she's got a Magda she visits."

Loki sits at the dining room table and gestures to a chair, "Please, make yourself comfortable." She sits, but she perches on the edge, "Why did you come today, though, if you have not come to bring us news?"

"I told Wanda I'd help her when she was spending so much time keeping you company. I'd take tea with her and make sure she had somebody to talk to. I'm not that great at being a supportive friend. Haven't had a whole lot of chances to be one, to be honest. So I thought maybe I could do right by her by coming to make sure you guys were OK, especially since you care enough about her that you came to us when she first went missing."

Magda brings a steaming plate of latkes from the kitchen, "And I am deeply grateful that you have come by. We have heard nothing of the search, not even that you were still looking. I had asked Mr Stark to do so at least once in a while, but he has not. This disappoints me. But you coming to visit, this is heartening."

"I'm sorry I can't give you more of an update. We're working hard on this, following every lead we come across, every temporal disturbance we get word of. Phil's got ears everywhere. But sometimes it doesn't feel like we're getting very far. But they can time travel. So it's not like we're at an advantage right now, even with SHIELD's team."

"But you are still trying. And that is what makes my heart happy, even if you have not found her." Magda brings out another plate, this one of sausages. She returns to the kitchen once more and comes back with fried tomatoes and a basket of biscuits, "Now, please, eat. I cook like a Sokovian grandmother."

"You cook like a Russian grandmother, too, but without the potatoes."

This makes Magda chuckle, "Ah, yes. You are Russian, no?"

"By birth. But not really anymore."

"We are what we choose to be, my dear. If you still wish to be Russian, it does not matter how long it has been since you were in that country. But likewise, if you wish not to be, then that is also fine."

"I don't think I was ever cooked for by a grandmother."

"Well then I will always be ready to cook for you. I open my doors. And you will always find plenty of food. Sokovian grandmothers cook for at least a dozen even when there are only a few."

"And a small batch means cooking for eight instead of twelve."

Magda laughs, "Exactly! We never have empty freezers and friends may always eat."

Natasha suddenly realizes she feels at ease in this house, even with Loki at her left. Magda is warm, inviting, and, she realizes as she takes a bite of the latkes piled on her plate by her hostess, a very good cook. It is the kind of household she thinks she might have had if she had been allowed a normal life.

"So what does it mean when Wanda says that you're 'her Magda'? She's never explained that."

"We are partners. Perhaps someday we will make such things official. But we have not yet. I hope she will come to live under this roof alongside me."

"I never knew Wanda was a lesbian."

"I do not know how she would define her attractions. I simply know that she loves me, and I her."

"Got it." She turns to Loki, "And how do you fit into this picture?"

"My dear friends are, in my heart, my sisters. We have chosen to build family this way. It is wonderful."

"When you opened the door, I wondered if you and Magda were together."

Loki smiles and shakes his head, "While she is beautiful and bright, a source of my light for sure, my heart lies with Alexi."

"You've got a girlfriend?"

"A young man, actually."

"Oh. OK. I know more gay people than I thought."

"Indeed, you do."

Magda passes her the biscuits and smiles, "Is it not wonderful that we have so many types of people living these lives happily? We could not do so in Sokovia yet. There are still challenges, yes, but it was a relief to move from there to here, even though I do so deeply miss my home. But we do what we can, no? We love where we are and let the memories live happily in our dreams."

"I don't have a whole lot of happy memories in my dreams."

"Then we must make them. Even if our weeks are busy, we cook together every Sunday- you should come by. We welcome all."

"Really? You hardly know me."

"You are a friend to Wanda. You have sat beside her with tea and an ear. Thusly, you are friend enough for food and to be enfolded into our lives. I do not put up barriers, Natasha. No, I open doors and arms for all. It is the way I was raised, it is the way I live here. And that means my table is always full of laughter and light, even when times are difficult or there are hard things to speak of. That is the nature of building a family."

"Thank you. I will consider stopping by."

"Lovely! There is no need to let us know before, just arrive when you can. We are so very happy to have guests."

Natasha turns to Loki, "And are you OK with this? We've been on the opposite sides of a war zone."

"A time I am very much trying to move on from. I will welcome you to our table."

She looks for any kind of trick or lie to his words and can find none, "Either you're a better liar than I am or you're really not a crazy psychopath. Which, I admit, would be nice to know. Thor seems to think you're OK now."

"He is a very good brother."

"Yeah, he seems like."

Magda raises her glass, "Then let us raise a glass to always moving forward."

Natasha takes hers in hand, "Yeah, I'll certainly drink to that."


	34. Chapter 34

On Halloween, he has no costume, and he is feeling particularly despondent. There has been no new word from SHIELD and Steve has not returned his last two texts. He is frustrated that he has no idea what to expect for this party and costuming seems complicated. He heads out to the garden and begins yanking the grass from the flower beds, each clump a complication in his life that he is struggling to handle. He flings them aside, angry at everything in the universe that could keep his friend, his sister, from him. Tears streak down his cheeks and when he goes to wipe them, the dirt from his fingers smudges his skin. He does not care. He yanks out another clod of grass.

"Would you like to borrow my lawnmower? It would make the rest of the yard more manageable."

He looks up; Magda is leaning over the short fence between their yards, "Yes, please. But I do not know how to use it."

"I will teach you." She brings the mower through the back gate and parks it, wading through the knee-high grass to where Loki pulls grass. She drops beside him, "What is on your mind?"

"Where is she?" Magda sighs, Loki continues, "Why have they not found her? Are they keeping something from us? Is she dead and they do not wish to tell us? Is it something worse?" The tears are back before he can stop them. He returns to furiously yanking grass from the flower boxes that he did nothing with over summer. "I hate being this useless! If I just had my magic back, I could help, somehow. But instead I sit here, doing nothing!" He grabs his hair in frustration, "Damn Odin for this!" He slams his fists into the dirt.

It is the most angry Magda has seen him; she reaches for his arm, but he flinches when she touches him, "Loki? I know you worry. I do to. But they are doing their best-"

"It's not good enough!"

"It is all they can do."

"Thor could ask Heimdal-"

"Is it not possible to hide from him? Are there not places that even he cannot see?"

"Yes."

"So even that is not a perfect answer."

"But it is something!"

She slips her arm around his shoulders as he yanks an offending clod of grass up, shakes the soil from its roots, and throws it hard against the fence, "Stop. Come here."

"I cannot, Magda. I'm sorry. I need to lash out and I should not yell at you."

"You are frustrated and hurt."

"Yes, well I have been known to be less than rational when hurt. Perhaps you should flee. To the next state." He flings another grass clod against the fence.

"No, but I will help you with your garden. You are not the only one terrified of what you might hear. Every time the phone rings and I do not know the number, my heart is in my throat."

"How can you live like this, Magda? You love her so deeply. How can you wonder every time she goes out on a mission if this is what is going to happen?"

"I have no other choice."

"What?"

"I have no other choice. She goes on missions. That is the nature of her work. And if I am to be with her, I must accept this. So I do. And I accept that I will have my heart ripped from my chest every time I do not know where she is or if she is alive."

"You are a better woman than I."

"No, not better. Maybe more seasoned, but not better."

Loki wants to stay angry, to rant and rave against whatever it is that holds his sister, but watching Magda, the pain clear on her face, but still so patient, her love as steadfast as a rock, he wonders if he can learn to be the same way. He does not think so. He is only growing more angry at SHIELD and the Avengers for hurting Magda this way. He throws a tangle of grass roots against he fence and then nestles against her.

"I am supposed to go out with Alexi tonight."

"Oh?"

"To a Halloween party. But I do not want to. I do not want to upset him, though."

"Why do you not want to?"

"Because my heart is too heavy with rage and sorrow. And I have no costume."

"That part I could fix. The others, not so much."

"I miss her, Magda. Too much."

"I know. So do I." He turns to embrace her and they hold one another for as long as they both need. Magda kisses his cheek, "Stay strong, Loki. She will come home."

"I wish I shared your conviction."

"Do you want company in the garden until you must get ready to go?"

"Yes. Please. I would love that."

They weed until the sky clouds and the chill becomes bitter, "Loki, we should go inside before we catch a cold. I will put away the mower and come right back."

When she returns, he is sitting on the cold stone patio under his balcony, staring out at the dying garden, "I do not know how I am going to enjoy this party tonight. I do not want to go. But Alexi sounded so excited on the telephone..."

She offers his hand and he stands, "You must be honest with him. If you do not want to go, and it is not one of those things you think you will enjoy once you get there, tell him."

"He is probably already dressed and on his way. He will arrive in half an hour."

"Then talk to him when he arrives."

"I do not want to let him down."

"You will let him down more if you cannot have fun with him while you are out."

Loki closes up the lower level and goes up to the kitchen, washing the dirt from his arms and handing Magda a washcloth, "Where did I smear dirt?"

She wipes his cheeks, "Everywhere, darling. It is even in your hair. Get a brush, I will work it out."

He retrieves it from the bathroom and hands it to her, "Were you in my position, what would you do?"

"I would ask for a quiet evening in. Perhaps instead of a party, invite a few friends over to watch movies. But nothing complicated or with expectations."

"If he is willing, would you like to watch movies with us?"

"Yes. Though it might be a bit awkward for you both to have me there. If you would like, you may watch at my home and when you wish to retire, you can retreat here. Or sleep on my floor, whichever you prefer."

"Right. Yes." He hugs her, "Thank you."

"Of course, little brother."

"Wanda once told me there was a Sokovian saying- something about not needing to have hope, friends can carry it for you when you cannot? But what happens when your friends also need their hope carried?"

"Then you carry it for one another- you do not need to have any of your own to do such a thing."

"So no one has their own hope, but they survive by holding onto that of their families and friends."

"Yes. You cannot carry on for yourself, but you do so because someone else needs you to."

"Ah. Is that how you feel?"

"Exactly."

Loki kisses her cheek, "You are so very strong."

"As are you." She returns the kiss, "But you have a guest coming soon, and I should leave you before he is here." She pats his back reassuringly and returns to her own home by way of the back gate.

Loki checks the clock and then darts upstairs to change from his dirt smudged clothes. Flowing trousers, a long tunic. He braids back his hair and checks his reflection in the mirror. He is somewhere between genders, a place he has always been very comfortable. Just him. Nothing else specific, his clothes ones he loves. He makes a note to ask Thor to bring more of his wardrobe from Asgard. It contains many of these sorts of garments and they are harder to find in Midgard.

He returns downstairs as he hears a knock on the door, "One moment!" he calls, leaping from the second to the last step to the floor. He answers and there stands Alexi in an odd combination of garments. Short denim shorts, fishnet stockings, a tight Tinkerbell shirt, a tiara, a plastic wand stuck in his beltloop, glitter in his hair, and a pair of wings, "Hello."

"Hey. Are you ready?"

"Yes...but no. Actually, no. I'm sorry, I have had a difficult day. I would love to spend the evening with you, but not out and about. Would it disappoint you terribly if we stayed in?"

"Nah. Music's supposed to be this DJ who thinks it's hilarious to try to actually mix 'Werewolves of London' with that Kid Rock song and Skynyrd. It's terrible. Any chance you've got something more comfortable I could borrow, though? Fishnets kind of suck."

Loki smiles, visibly relieved, "Yes, of course. Come in, follow me." He leads up to his bedroom and he pulls one of the soft knit sets from the closet, "Magda says they are more like pajamas, but they are wonderful for lounging about."

"Oh my god, these are the softest things I have ever touched, except maybe kittens."

"They were made in Asgard. I will give you a moment to change." He steps outside the door.

Alexi calls, "You didn't have to leave, you know."

"Terribly old-fashioned, remember?"

"I know. It's cute." The door opens, "So what do you want to do?" The shirt is a bit baggy, draping off one of Alexi's shoulders, the waistband cinched a little tighter than usual on the draw string pants. Loki cannot help but think he is gorgeous.

"You look delightful in my clothes."

"Hmmm, I feel divine. I should raid your closet more often." Alexi kisses Loki's cheek, "So...plans?"

"Magda has a collection of movies."

"Oooo, I wonder what Halloween movies she has! Or just scary ones. Have you seen 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'? It's not scary, it's just made of awesome."

"No, I have not."

"Then I hope she has it. Let's go ask her! Wait, do you think she'll be OK with this?"

"I know she will be. She offered to open her home to us this evening."

"You told her you weren't sure about this club thing?"

"She saw me having a terrible time coping while violently weeding my garden. We talked about many things. My general discomfort with leaving the familiar this evening was one of them."

"Cool. I don't know how you guys are getting through this. I'd be crazy or dead by now. It's been a few weeks, hasn't it?"

"Yes. Magda is patient as a stone. I am starting to deteriorate. I do not know how she is not as well. She is as faithful as the sun itself."

"Magda is seriously amazing. In pretty much every way. I mean, I know, she's a person, she's not perfect, but I'm pretty sure she's just about as close to a goddess as you can get. Works with refugees, volunteers with transgender people, dates an Avenger, and isn't climbing the walls freaking out right now."

"Would the revelation that she does not like pecan pie be enough of a flaw to convince you she is human?"

"Yeah, that's good enough." Alexi slips his hand in Loki's, "Come on, let's go see if she'll lend us her movies."

Magda greets them at the door in her pajamas, "Welcome, welcome, darlings." She embraces them both and kisses cheeks, "What is your wish for this evening?"

"'Nightmare Before Christmas!' -and then maybe scary movies. Or maybe 'Great Pumpkin'. You do have those, right?"

"Of course! Come upstairs. I have a little cinema set up in the attic space."

When they enter the uppermost floor, Loki recognizes the decorating style- it looks so much like Wanda's apartment that she had to have decorated it. He has seen it before, the night after telling Alexi his story, but he was not paying attention to it then and he was not desperately missing Wanda, searching for all the little signs of her fingerprints in his life. There are huge pillows and beanbags all around the floor and two low chairs behind them. The walls are lined with shelves holding hundreds of movies, the peaked ceiling draped with rich velvet embroidered in gold and silver. They frame the television at one end. Loki cannot help but wander to look at the different titles. Every shelf is labelled with a stamped brass plaque and within each section, titles are alphabetical.

"Oh my god, you have 'Treasure Planet'- we are so watching that!" Alexi laughs and drops onto a huge beanbag, "This is going to be awesome." He runs his fingers through his hair, "Oh hell, I am so sorry I'm shedding glitter everywhere."

"Wanda calls it craft herpes. Her description is apt. That is fine, this room can always use a little glitter." Loki stretches out on his stomach on the floor, propped up on a giant pillow. Alexi drags his beanbag closer and flops down. He takes Loki's hand. Magda gracefully sinks onto a footstool and starts the movie.

It is very late when Alexi leaves for his own apartment. Loki lets him take the clothes with him and kisses him by his car. He returns to Magda's home and they watch a few more old tape recorded children's Halloween specials. They fall asleep snuggled together in the pile of pillows.


	35. Chapter 35

In the early morning grey light of All Soul's Day, Magda lights candles on her balcony, sheltering them with glass hurricanes. Loki feels odd about asking just what they mean. They seem to be some sort of sacred remembrance. And then he remembers the significance of flames in the memorial ceremony for his mother. There is one candle sitting on her kitchen counter unlit. He knows who that one will be for and he hopes they do not have to light it.

He eats breakfast with her, then returns to his own house to dress and get ready for work. He is tired, but he tries to keep his spirits up as he walks. He had a lovely evening with Alexi. Magda helped him find his footing in an emotional storm. And there is a persistent thought in his mind that they will hear something about Wanda very soon.

Ralph has tea for him when he arrives at the bookshop. He usually does. And there are usually new receipts to file, and Loki does so quickly, organizing their monthly ledgers and reports as well as keeping the notes for taxes up to date. He likes the order of it all.

During lunch, his phone chimes. A message he is not expecting, and it is from Steve Rogers. He opens it.

 _"We found her. And you were right, they had him, too. We got them both. I will let you know when we can bring her home."_

Loki nearly drops the phone, "Everything OK, son?" Ralph asks.

"They found her. She's alive. And she will be coming home, though he does not say when."

"That's wonderful news! First your boy's back, then your girl's coming home. Things sure are shaping up."

"I...I wonder if he's told Magda."

The phone chimes again and he looks down at the next message.

 _"AAAAAAAAAAA! Did he text you? They found her! And she is alive! I have been staring at my phone for the past few minutes trying to convince myself this is real. It is. Come to my home after work. We will celebrate."_

"Magda knows."

"Do you want to take the rest of the afternoon off?"

"No. Magda will not be able to leave work early. I will stay until the the end of our day. Then we will celebrate."

Ralph disappears into the office and comes back with a bottle of wine, "Let's start now." Loki shrugs, smiling, and Ralph pours it into their tea mugs. He raises his, "To good news!"

"Yes, to good news. I hope she is well, all things considered."

"Yeah. Me too. You folks need a break."

"They found her brother as well. He is supposed to be dead, but apparently he is not. I do not know what happened."

"They bringing him home to you with her?"

"Likely not. I would imagine they have some questions to ask. If he has been in the clutches of HYDRA all this time, who knows what he has endured or what he thinks of his sister?"

"HYDRA's that wicked group that came out of SHIELD, right? They've got an office downtown. Big fancy building. Even looks evil."

"I have not seen their building, but I assume that they do, given their visibility."

"Here's to freedom from crazy bastards in evil buildings, then," Ralph says as he raises his glass again. Loki clinks his mug to Ralph's and they drink, refilling their mugs after.

The few customers who wander into the bookshop that evening are met by an unusual sight. Behind the register, a cheerful young man sits with his legs propped up on the corner of the desk across from a slightly drunk old man who laughs freely as he tells jovial stories of his youth, misadventures in libraries, hijinks at literary gatherings, and theories about the origins of literary masterpieces. Everyone who enters is offered a mug of either coffee or wine. By the end of the day, the bottle is empty and they are on their third pot of coffee.

When they close the shop, Ralph sends Loki home with another bottle, "Have a great time with your friend. I'll see you in the morning. Just call if you're up too late tonight."

"Thank you." He puts the bottle in his bag, "Magda will appreciate this."

"Bring her by sometime. And your boyfriend. And Wanda. And her brother, when he gets here. We'll have a party in the bookshop. It'll be a great time."

"We will, once everyone is settled. Have a good night."

"You too, son. You too."

On his walk home, Loki frequently has to resist the urge to run. He wants to get to Magda as soon as he can so he has another someone to celebrate the good news with. When he knocks on her door, she flings it open and grabs him in a huge hug, laughing, kissing his cheeks enthusiastically, and then tugging him into the house.

"She is coming home! Thank god, we will all be together again soon!"

"Did he say when?"

"No. She appears unharmed, but they want to do a medical check and to debrief her."

"So in a few days."

"Possibly as soon as tomorrow evening, if all goes well. I am so excited!" Magda twirls, her layers of skirts floating around her, hair flying as she laughs, her eyes glowing with joy, "Did they tell you Pietro was with her?"

"Yes. I have to wonder what state he is in and who it was who held them. Did they find the stone yet?"

"I do not know. All I know is my beloved is coming home to us. Eventually, we will make space in out lives for Pietro. And we will love on." She grabs him and hugs him again, "Oh, Loki, we are so lucky to have found each other, every one of us."

He smiles and squeezes back, "Yes, yes we are."


	36. Chapter 36

Magda can hardly wait through the following day. She goes to work. She tries to focus on her clients, but every time she sits down to do paperwork, she gives up.

"What's up, Mags? You're about ready to vibrate out of your chair," Shelly asks over lunch, "And I've never seen you pick at a curry like this. Woman, you need to eat!"

Magda smiles and pushes the peas into a pile, "Wanda is returning home from her mission today. This evening. I received a confirmation message this morning. She and Thor will be here by supper."

"Oh, wow, that's great! Didn't you say there was some trouble with this one?"

"Yes. A difficult object to retrieve. And she went missing for quite some time."

"Holy shit, you didn't tell me that part."

"I did not wish to alarm anyone."

"Your woman goes missing and you don't say anything because you don't want to 'alarm' me? Mags, for real, since when has someone disappearing been something we can't handle? We deal with families in war zones and deportations every week."

"True, true."

"So you were just like our clients- the ones trying to figure out if someone's still alive back in Syria or something. Like the lucky ones that find them."

"Yes. Very lucky. Especially given what I know of her mission."

"That scary?"

"Potentially, yes."

"Damn, Mags, you've got to tell me this stuff. No wonder you were so quiet these past few weeks."

"It has been difficult."

"No shit. You going to celebrate tonight?"

"Quietly, yes. I do not want to overwhelm her."

"Well I hope you have a great time together. God knows you need some fun after all this."

At the bookshop, Loki tries to focus, but is having a difficult time. He throws himself into making sure the shelves are organized, trying to stay on his feet as much as he can so he does not get distracted. But it happens anyway and he finds himself in the office making tea a little more often than usual.

Ralph is amused, "You're practically floating, son. And given the amount of tea you've had, that's not surprising. There's only a half hour left before we close. Go on home and get ready for your friend."

"Are you certain?"

"Yeah. Run along. Take the tea with you."

Loki grabs his bag, thanks Ralph, and hurries home, mug in hand.

Magda comes home a little early, too. She can't figure out what to do, so she cleans the kitchen, bakes, and cleans the kitchen again. She checks the time, puts on water for tea, and then stops, drumming her fingers on the counter. She should start supper. She checks the time again and starts chopping vegetables to throw in the Dutch oven with sauerkraut and sausage. She works quickly and puts it in the oven. Again, the time. Then she sits by the front window and waits impatiently.

Loki hasn't even tried to occupy himself productively. He has texted Alexi, made more tea, and fidgeted ever since returning home. He checks his phone and realizes they are getting close to when Wanda is set to arrive. He hovers by the window.

A little red Trabant putters to a stop outside the row houses. Loki is out the door. Magda meets him on his step, grabs his arm, and runs with him toward the car. Wanda steps out and dashes to them. The three embrace, kissing cheeks, laughing and crying. Thor waits, watching, giving them space.

"Oh god, my darling, I have been so worried."

"I missed you, too. And Loki, I was so worried about how you would handle this."

"Me?"

"Yes, you." She places a hand against his cheek, wiping an errant tear, "You have lost far too much already."

"We held hope for one another. Magda's faith in your return was sustaining."

"She is a rock."

"Do not think my steadfastness means I was not petrified, love. It took so long for them to return you to us."

"Yes, far too long."

"Shall we go inside? I have baked." She slips an arm around Wanda's waist and leads her to the house, "Come, my friends, supper is in the oven."

Thor wraps his arm around Loki's shoulders, "Brother! It is good to see you. You look well. As though you have finally fully recovered from your ordeals."

"Thank you. You do not look harmed from your recent mission. Did the team fare well?"

"Mostly. There were stitches for some. I will tell you more when we are safely inside."

The couch is too small for four people, so they sit on the floor, Wanda between Magda and Loki, Thor staying close to his brother.

"So what happened? What kept you from home for so long?" Magda asks.

"They trapped me. They used the time stone to pull me into a rock concert and then dragged me from there to the base, but sometime different. I do not know when. It was busy, bustling, and they told me that they had Pietro. I thought perhaps we were long in our past, but no. And they told me that if I wanted him to stay living, I would do as they asked. I could not risk losing him again, even though they hardly let us see one another. And then we were attacked."

Thor continues, "I do not understand how the time stone works. I think she was taken to when the base was active before our arrival. She was there for a time, then moved and brought to our own time. We detected the energy surge that brought them forward and were able to find them. You were right, Loki. It took a great power to use the stone. We planned our attack on their location, but things were not to go smoothly there, either. For as we readied ourselves, other soldiers flooded through a portal in what appeared to be a laboratory."

"Pietro and I were terrified. We did not know who or what these creatures were. They slaughtered all those in their path, searching for something. We knew what. We ran. I did not try to find the stone. It was madness and I wanted to survive, not to die for an artefact. But Pietro, with his speed, yanked it's box from the machine they held it in and he grabbed me. We had no idea how to get out, nor could we use the stone. But then the Avengers made their entrance."

"Our rescue was daring, but the creatures we encountered were merciless. They were not so unlike the Chitauri in form. Not quite the same, though. In the madness, Pietro was knocked to the ground. One of them grabbed the box, dealt him a blow that rendered him unconscious, and they fled quickly back to the portal. The time stone is beyond our means to acquire it. I have alerted Asgard, but I do not know where it will appear."

Loki sighs, "I know the creatures of which you speak. They are Chitauri, just a different version of them. Thanos sent his first-made Chitauri to New York- a weaker species that he thought would easily follow me and still take this world with little effort. They were not the only ones he created. It is likely Thanos now has the time stone."

"In what realm should we seek him, Brother?"

"No realm. He lives between worlds and he sends others to do his bidding. I did not deal directly with him. I can tell you little about the being called The Mad Titan."

"He will resurface. There are other stones to acquire. Asgard has increased security around the Tesseract. I have asked Sif to take the Warriors Three to assess the state of the Aether. There is word that there may be a stone on a planet named Xandar. And, of course, there is one embedded in Vision. Thanos merely has to figure out how to collect the sixth and these and he will assemble his gauntlet. After, of course, he takes it from Asgard."

"There are two. Thanos may have knowledge of the location of the other."

"But there are only six stones."

"Yes, and all he needs is one complete gauntlet to bring a reign of death. It's partner can be decorated with false stones as a decoy. A despotic universe destroying overlord must be properly accessorized."

Thor's brow furrows, "How do you know this?"

"Because when one is hanging upside down and backwards so that one may be lashed by a creature with razor edged tentacles instead of arms, listening incredibly intently to the being that brought you to that place argue with a woman is the only thing to do to keep from going completely insane."

"What?!"

"'There are more things in heaven and earth, Thor, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.'"

"I do not understand. These things happened to you? When?"

"When I fell. There are strange things beyond what you know as your universe. Devious. Some wicked. Others merely existing. Things you have never seen. Some of them I hope you never do."

"You have never told me of these things."

"That is because I would like very much to forget them."

"But would it not help-"

"No, Thor, it would not. Please, not tonight. Wanda is home. We are about to have a lovely supper together. We can speak of unpleasant things at another time."

Wanda snuggles against him, "And there is plenty of time. When you are ready, all of us will be here for you."

"Thank you. May I ask you something about your imprisonment?"

"Yes?"

"How did they have Pietro? And is he who you remember him to be?"

"When he was brought back from Sokovia, his body was taken to a secure facility for medical treatment. It never arrived. Someone intercepted it and they never told me."

"Have they had him for years, or did they go back and get him?"

"It appears that they have had him for years. He spoke little of his capture. Like you, he needs time. But he was very much my Pietro." Loki does not pry, but he knows that there is something she isn't telling him. He knows that it would be impossible for Pietro to be the same person he was before. HYDRA would never let him simply return without any sort of torment or even brainwashing after he fought with the Avengers. He feels Thor gently squeeze his shoulders and knows he is right.

Magda checks the time and stands, "Come, to the table. Supper is about ready. And do not complain about standing up, young lady. Even once returned, you have not eaten a proper meal- there is no one who can cook like I can."

"That is because you cook like a Sokovian grandmother!" Wanda laughs as she follows Magda to the table.

"That is because I learned from one!"

Thor rises and offers Loki a hand, "Shall we?"

"Yes, of course." He refuses to let go of his brother's hand.

They have a long, happy supper; they joke and laugh as though Wanda had not been missing from their lives for a month. They drink wine and giggle over ice cream and cinnamon bread. And when it is late, Thor and Loki get ready to go next door.

Thor waits as Loki hugs Wanda; they stand close, foreheads touching, arms around one another, "I am so glad you are back."

"I know. I am, too. And I am glad you are OK."

"They did not hurt you?"

She brushes his cheek, trying to reassure both with soft words and fingertips, "It was nothing. I am fine. Now go and rest, my friend. You have worried far too many nights. You do not have to anymore. I am safe."

She steps back and he walks to Thor, "Good night, my dear sisters. Rest well."


	37. Chapter 37

Snuggled together on the couch, Loki asks the question on his mind since Wanda's return, "What is it she isn't telling me?"

"What do you mean, Brother?"

"There is something she isn't telling me. I don't know if it is about her, or about Pietro, but there is something you both know that you have not said."

"She will tell us little about her treatment at the hands of HYDRA other than she expected no less than what she received. Pietro is...well, he is in a sad state."

"What did they do to him?"

"We do not know the extent of it, but we know he had his memories wiped. He knew nothing of us when we arrived. He knew his sister, but he remembered little of what they had been through together with HYDRA or Ultron. The twins were barely allowed to speak to one another or see one another. I believe it was to keep him from remembering. We have called on Dr Banner."

"He will come?"

"Reluctantly, but yes. He has said he does not want to be a part of our missions, and we will stand back. But he is a doctor, and a talented one at that, so we will allow him to do his work without our meddling."

"I hope he can help. Where are they keeping Pietro?"

"SHIELD has a secure facility in the middle of the wilderness that they have for situations like these. It is quite home-like. I have seen it. He will be comfortable, at least, and Son of Coul has taken an interest in making sure he is well supported as his memories return."

"He thinks they will?"

"Yes. His did."

"You are again not telling me something."

"Correct."

"What happened to Director Coulson?"

"His memories of what they did to bring him back were so horrific that they replaced them with others. He has now recalled what really happened."

"Ah..."

The silence is uncomfortable and Thor searches for the words to break it, "You are thinking."

"Yes."

"Of? If it is of his death and resurrection, I do not know how they did it."

"No, actually. Not that."

"Then what?"

"How will this family fit together when Pietro is back with Wanda?"

"You mean how will you fit into the family?"

"Precisely."

"Adding one does not mean the removal of another. Wanda spoke of this after Pietro was safely with the SHIELD team. She does not worry about herself, she loves you dearly, and she knows Magda does as well. She worries about you boys and how you will adapt."

"Will he know who I am before he meets me?"

"I do not know."

"Magda has never met him."

"Correct. But she has brothers of her own. And you are no less family to her because of it."

"Magda is remarkable."

"Magda has been through hell. Anthony looked up some of her history. Her family was once much larger. They buried six siblings in the span of a year. Her uncles died in the wars for Sokovian independence. And of those remaining, there are some who refuse to speak to her or use her name. She builds family where she is and loves deeply because of these things."

"As I said, she is remarkable."

"She will help you if you struggle to add another brother to your life. And she will help him as well. Is it not her life's work to bring peace to those who need it?"

"Yes, it is."

"Then what worries do you have, my Brother?"

"I do not know. But there is the odd feeling rattling in my heart that I will lose something very dear. It is terrifying."

Thor holds him tight, "Whatever it is, it will not be me."


	38. Chapter 38

Wanda has only been home a few days when she tells Magda and Loki she is going to visit Pietro and neither of them may come with her. Loki is nervous. They have stayed close to one another since her return. Wanda assures them it is only for a few days, that she will be back soon, and that there will be nothing dangerous about this trip. But while both Loki and Magda smile and try to act as though they are fine, neither of them can be happy to see her drive away in her little red Trabant.

Magda tucks in early. Loki calls Alexi. They meet for pizza and after, they cuddle close in the November chill on the bench by the ash in the square. Alexi kisses Loki's cheek. Loki blushes a little. He is not used to being openly affectionate in public and it still is a little awkward for him to do anything but hold Alexi's hand when others might see.

"You're blushing. And it's cute."

"Cute?"

"Yeah. Cute. So...any chance I can come in for a little while? Maybe get a little closer than last time?"

"Come in, yes. By 'get a little closer', do you mean to share my bed?"

"That's one way of putting it?"

"You remember the assessment that I am terribly old fashioned, yes?"

"Yep. But I don't want to wait forever, so I figure it's better to ask."

"Not forever. But a little longer, please?"

"Sure. But can I ask why?"

"Because I hold you so dearly and I want to be sure we have a reasonable chance of lasting before letting myself fall fully for you. And when I allow myself to let go, to surrender to the delight of touch, I will have immense difficulty disentangling my heart should we end."

"Well I'm not planning on an end, but I get where you're coming from."

"If you would like to come in from the cold for coffee, I would be happy to have you."

"Coffee and maybe kisses?"

Loki smiles, "I think I would be quite happy with that."


	39. Chapter 39

November creeps, the leaves on the ash turning dry and falling, evenings turning from chilly to cold. Loki and Alexi meet every few days for games, supper, and walks, but always they end under the ash before retreating to the row house to escape the chill. While he cannot feel Yggdrasil, he can still enjoy her descendent in Midgard, one of the few in this place, he has learned, to not fall to the Emerald Ash Borer. It horrifies him that these trees, so majestic and ancient, are dying thanks to the persistence of an insect. A pest. An infestation. It is as though he has learned something could destroy the World Tree itself. So he spends as much time as he can with the one ash that he has close, the only one he has ever seen in this realm.

Mid November, Magda begins planning for a feast. She makes lists, invites everyone she knows to come sit at her table, and starts cooking broths and sauces so she can freeze them and have them ready for her guests. Wanda explains that this is Thanksgiving and there will be people from every corner of their lives attending a dinner. He is told to invite whomever he pleases. He reads more history, talks to Alexi, and asks so many questions that Alexi takes to kissing him to shut him up when he asks one too many. This usually leads to Loki laughing, trying to sneak questions in when he breaks for breaths. It becomes a challenge, a game. A way to tease one another.

When Thanksgiving arrives, so do the guests. Early in the morning, Wanda opens the door to greet Erie. She heads for the kitchen where Magda and Loki are already hard at work. Wanda returns to her job- finding enough tableware for all the people who might show up. With supper early afternoon, there are a few people who drift in early and they are immediately put to work. It is not a serious environment, though. The air is filled with conversation, jokes, and the music from Magda's records. Old friends share stories with the people they see only once a year. Steve and Thor arrive together. Ralph comes alone, but he brings wine, hard cider, and a rare book of Sokovian children's stories for his hostess. Magda nearly cries when he presents it to her and she hugs him as though he has brought her the most precious gift in the entire world. No one, no matter if they are new to this Thanksgiving or have been attending for many years, is treated like a stranger.

Loki and Alexi are curled together on the couch listening to Erie's youthful adventures growing up in the city when they hear a shriek of delight from the front door. They turn to see Wanda leap into someone's arms.

"PIETRO!" She is laughing, crying, kissing his cheeks, and hugging him while Natasha and Bruce urge them into the house. Pietro laughs and kisses her back, tickling her lightly. They are giddy children together, their greetings in the language of their native Sokovia. Then she hugs both Natasha and Bruce, thanking them profusely for bringing him. He is not ready to live in the real world all the time, but they will try one day.

Wanda bounds over to the couch and Loki rises, "Loki, you must meet my brother, Pietro. Pietro, this is Loki. I have told you much about him. He is one of our family."

Pietro shakes his hand and nods, "She speaks well of you."

"And very much of you. It is my great pleasure to finally meet her beloved brother."

"My sister has, no doubt, exaggerated my virtues."

"If she has, it has been only out of her great love for you. She is a wonderful woman."

"That she is." He kisses her temple.

She lightly shoves him, "Come, we'll be back, but I want you to meet my Magda."

"Ah, yes. Excuse me. We shall return." Loki slightly bows his head toward Pietro and, once he has been dragged off by his sister, drops back onto the couch.

Erie has take to telling her stories to Steve and Thor. Loki slips his attention back to her and snuggles against Alexi.

In the kitchen, Magda embraces Pietro and kisses both his cheeks, "Welcome, welcome, my dear! Wanda has told us so much of you, I feel as though I know you already. Make yourself at home here, for we are all one family."

"I see this. You have not lost the hospitality of our motherland."

"Of course not. I am proudly Sokovian. You hear our music, do you not? And there are dishes from our home here amongst the more American delights. In this house, you will never be asked to leave her behind."

"That is good. I seem to have lost memories that I otherwise should have. While I have been told much of what should be in my head, I cannot yet bring it back. Perhaps being reminded of my roots I will find myself again."

"While you may be known for your speed, do not rush yourself, dear Pietro. The mind, like the heart, is not something you can hurry along."

"Thank you. You are very kind."

"I am to some day perhaps marry your sister. I embrace her family as my own. Though, as these people will tell you, I am eager to open my arms and my doors to many. This life is beautiful, is it not?"

He smiles, looking around him at the people he does not know laughing together, "Yes, it is. Do they know one another?"

"Some. Many do not. I do not know the man sitting in the living room next to the older woman- Erie. I believe he knows Loki. And I have never met the man who brought you."

"How do they then look as though they have known one another for years?"

Magda smiles and hands him a basket of rolls, "It is my magic, dear Pietro. Now, will you help me get this table ready for all our guests? It is nearly time to feast!"

Pietro agrees. Working close to her, he wonders how much he has missed and if it will be hard to become a part of this family every day. But how easily she adapts to him and how effortlessly she treats him as though they have known one another for years assures him that there will be no struggle, at least with her, to simply become a part of the family. He gets the impression that whomever decides to stay in her life would be simply folded into her household. It is something he has missed for many years and even with his memories fragmented, he feels at home here, in a little sliver of the Sokovia he misses.


	40. Chapter 40

Loki has much to learn about the holiday season in America. Magda and Wanda share some traditions, but they also speak of others and there are so many traditions that he encounters when he is able to drop into the refugee centre. He asks Ralph for books and learns quickly that most people at both the Safe Haven and the centre are eager to talk about their favourite holidays. The stories thrill him, celebrating the short days, the returning of the light, the deep winter darkness, and mythic figures he has only started learning about. Midgardian religious beliefs are an entirely new area of fascination for him.

Alexi is a little less enthralled by Loki's newfound love of religious stories, "Oh my god, give it a break, Loki! You told me about Diwali already. Hanukkah. Some Japanese lights festival. I can't even keep them straight anymore!"

"But they are all so different, and yet all so alike at the same time! I have never seen such variety in beliefs in one realm. You are so diverse and it is thrilling!"

"Yeah, but people kill each other over this stuff. And, frankly, I think the idea of a god is kind of ridiculous."

"Perhaps. Though I have seen some very strange things in my life. There is a creature out there who is so obsessed with death that he seeks to end the entire universe as an experiment- would he not be a god to many? People in this realm once worshipped those of Asgard. Perhaps there are other realms whose people have been mistaken for gods. Places I have never seen or heard of! How is that not exciting? That there may be races out there that even Asgard does not know about?"

"Um, from the perspective of someone who only recently found out that Asgard wasn't just a myth, kind of terrifying. I'd like to believe that there's only eight new places out there, and that somebody in them knows what's going on, at least for a little while."

"Odin does not know all. He may think that he does, but he has not seen what is between worlds, or Thanos. Most who have seen Thanos are dead, though, so that is not unusual."

"You're not comforting me."

"I am sorry if I offend. It is just so rare that I come across an idea completely new, even to Asgard."

"You're enthusiasm is cute. But I really can't talk only about religion for days on end. I like to live a little closer to the real world once in a while. It's OK to share, but can we talk about cooking or cat videos once in a while, too?"

Loki sighs, clearly trying to curb his enthusiasm without feeling hurt, "Yes. We can."

"You're like this with any new thing, aren't you? You just latch on and dive into it headfirst."

"I haven't had the opportunity to research something truly new in quite some time, but yes. I read the entire body of work by your William Shakespeare in a matter of days."

"That's ambitious."

"Indeed. Ralph then told me that I am never to say the title of Macbeth in a place of theatrical performance, for actors are superstitious about what it will do."

"Actors are a strange lot."

"Perhaps. Or perhaps they simply know how to carry a tradition for the fun of it."

"Could be. You're going to be late for dinner at Magda's, though, if you don't put your books away."

"Indeed." He tucks away his books and the notepad he has been scribbling in and they head to supper.

After dinner, Magda and Wanda fidget a little, exchanging looks and whispering to one another. Loki's curiosity is intense. He can hardly keep from prying, trying to hear what they are saying.

And so he finally leans forward, rests his elbows on his knees, and grins, "I give up. What secret do you so furtively share? Shall I tease it from you? Needle it out with questions? Perhaps I ought to whittle the possibilities down with leading statements? Trick you into telling? Or will you save me the trouble?"

Wanda weaves her fingers in Magda's, "Well, we have come to a decision. It is not one we had considered before. But things have changed. My abduction...well, it made a few things clear. And one of those was that should anything happen to me, Magda cannot be certain she will be able to make decisions about my fate. Or my belongings. Or my Trabant. Or about Pietro's situation, should he come under my guardianship while he is recovering. And there is one way to assure this."

Magda beams, "We're going to get married!"

"It will be a small affair, nothing fancy, but our legal status needs to be secure, should anything happen to me."

"She is as excited as I am, I assure you. She was laughing last night when we were talking. But she is far too practical to show it." Magda pokes Wanda's side and Wanda grins. She does it again, tickling her, and Wanda laughs, shoving her playfully.

"Damn it, Magda! And here I was trying to be so businesslike. You are ruining my reputation as the rational one."

"What reputation? My love, we are hardly rational- we are creatures of Sokovia, of light and celebration in the darkest parts of the year and of the fire and spark of summer!"

Loki can't help but laugh with them, with Alexi; there is so much joy here and it is contagious, "Congratulations to you both! When do you plan to wed?"

"On Yule. It is a good day for a wedding. And it is not far away. Just a few weeks. And we shall all dress beautifully and go dancing after- it is the holiday party for the Safe Haven. We will continue celebrating with friends!"

Wanda ticks off a list on her fingers, "We have to very quickly secure a place to have the wedding, someone to officiate it, and our garments. And, of course, anything we wish to have to decorate. Perhaps a cake, too, for after."

"This is just awesome. Do you guys want music or anything? I play the violin. I can play something from the home country for your ceremony," Alexi offers.

"That would be delightful!" Magda claps, "Oh, Wanda, this is going to be beautiful, even in it's simplicity! And we need no cake. I will make hammentaschen together the night before and it will be a delightful way to start our celebration after." She turns to Alexi and Loki, "Will you bake with us?"

"Of course," Loki answers.

"Sure, if I can get off work."

Wanda gently chides Magda, "Do not make things complicated in your effort for simplicity. Hammentaschen take quite a lot of work. There is a reason they are usually only made for Purim."

"I have made them enough that they seem easy. We will have lovely fun!"

"I have no idea what a hammentaschen is, but I assure you that I will do my best to learn and help you bake them with as little stress as possible."

"You see? Loki wants to learn to bake. We will be fine," Magda reassures. Wanda can't help but chuckle and shake her head. Celebration has always been Magda's gift and she expresses her love of life this way at every opportunity. She expects no less of her Magda for her own wedding.

Alexi leaves early because of an early shift at work and Loki lingers in the square after. The evening is biting cold and he huddles in the peacoat gifted to him by his brother on his last visit. He has lost his tolerance for cold. He is ready to go back to the warmth of his house when he sees the first delicate snowflakes of the season drift down, light flurries in the sky. He stares. Snow in Asgard was furious for only a few months, never this early. Snow in Jotunheim is harsh and unrelenting. But this is different. They glitter from the streetlamps, the air sparkling as their cold kisses land against his cheeks. For a moment, he stands with his face lifted to the sky, the ice gentle on his skin. After a few moments, retreats home, his hands numb. He decides that he must find good leather gloves and thicker socks so he can stand and watch the snow.


	41. Chapter 41

Loki has fallen in love with the snow. He has wool socks, longjohns, and leather gloves lined in fleece. It has only flurried a little, but every time he sees the flakes start to drift down while he walks to work, he smiles. It has also given him an excuse to shop for thick fluffy scarves, and this is something he enjoys immensely. When he goes with Wanda or Magda to look for things to wear to their wedding, he looks at the scarves as well.

Magda finds a cream gown and jacket that she adores. Loki finds her a pair of long emerald gloves. Magda discovers her colour scheme. Wanda loves the colour and adds a matching sash to her outfit- swishing black trousers and a fitted sleeveless blouse. It gives Loki an idea. He asks Maga if she knows a seamstress.

"Yes, Erie. Why? Do you need something stitched?"

"I need something altered. A few somethings, actually, but first...well, the one that matches your green, just in case I feel I can wear it on your day. But the materials are quite fine and I fear putting them in the hands of anyone not extremely skilled."

"I can assure you, Erie is brilliant with gowns. She once worked as a restorer of antique garments for a private collector."

"Good. Do you think she can let one out? I have not worn it since I could shift into a feminine shape."

"We will take it to her and she will assess the situation. If she is not confident, she will not attempt it. Perhaps this weekend we can meet her?"

"Yes. That would be lovely."

"Bring the undergarments you would wear under it as well. She must be able to take accurate measurements."

"Is she accustomed to sewing clothing for people like us?"

"Oh yes. She has tailored my clothing many times. Do not worry, my darling. She is quite skilled."

"These gowns are quite precious to me."

Magda takes his hand, "I understand. And I would not suggest her if I did not think she capable of handling them."

Saturday, Loki wakes and puts on her cinch and bra, slipping on the cable knit tights Wanda ordered from a specialty store online. She bundles up in a long wool skirt and a heavy sweater, plaits her hair so it will not itch her neck, and layers her scarves, including one that has been sew into a hood. She carefully tucks the emerald green gown into a garment bag and meets Magda at the car. She is both excited and nervous to see if the gown can be refitted to her. If it cannot, she knows that the black one she so dearly treasures will also likely be unwearable.

She is quiet in the car on the way to Erie's studio. She does not know what to expect, but she is still surprised when they turn down a street of old mansions and stop in front a large stone house.

"Erie lives here?"

"Yes. It is her family's home. She comes from old money, and nearly all of the fortune has been set aside to keep the house in good repair. She also runs a bed and breakfast. What she can spare, she sends to keep the Haven open."

"And she has a seamstress' studio in it?"

"Yes."

"I was unaware Midgard had houses this large."

"Yes. Some larger. You have seen so little of our world. We will have to travel together someday."

Erie meets them at the front door, "Come in, come in! Maggie, I am so excited about your wedding. Have you found a place to have it?"

"No, we haven't. Neither of us like the idea of a church, but we cannot agree beyond that."

"Well, before we talk business, let me show you something." She leads them straight back from the entry to a large set of doors, "Perhaps this is to your liking." She opens one door just enough to enter and turns on the lights. A ship's wheel chandelier drips crystals and candles in an elegant dark wood ballroom. The wood floor gleams in the warm light, a grand piano at one end of the room, "We have small weddings in here once in a while, but it's rarely used."

Magda is so excited that she twirls, "It is absolutely beautiful! Wanda will be so excited, it is perfect!"

"Good, good! Bring her by when you can, show it to her, see if she likes it."

"She is visiting Pietro. But yes, as soon as she returns, I will bring her. Thank you, Erie. You have just solved our biggest problem planning this wedding."

"Well let's see if I can solve another one. You said you had a dress you needed me to look at?"

Loki nods, "A very fine one. It is of Asgard."

"Oooh, Asgard?"

"Yes. It is where I was once from. But circumstances have changed and I would like it altered to fit me, if possible."

"You are a mystery, Loki. I like that. Come on back to the sewing room and we'll take a look at it and at you."

They leave the ballroom and she leads them back farther into the house, up two flights of stairs, and into a large drawing room. One wall is fabric storage- rolls mounted low, shelving reached by library ladders for bolts higher up. To one side, a rack holds large yardage draped over hangers or hanging from clips. Dress forms are scattered through the room, some holding projects in progress, one holding an antique gown for study, and a few waiting for the next moment of inspiration. One wall is lined with large windows and in front of this sits her sewing machines and sergers. She leads them to a large cutting table. There are two of them on opposite ends of the room.

"Let's see what you have there."

Loki gently lays the gown on the table and unzips the garment bag. Erie watches how she handles the fabric. It is obvious to her that the dress means a great deal.

"May I?" She reaches for it and Loki steps aside, "Hmmm...it's very fine. A little slippery, but not bad. It's got a nice weight to it- it swings nicely?" Loki nods, "I thought so. But still floats. Very unique. I can work with this." She turns part of the skirt inside out, "There's not a lot of extra at the seams, though, so I'm going to have to add to it to get much more space out of it. Let's measure you. I think I've got something that will compliment it very nicely- a matte vintage satin brocade. I'll do some sketches." She brings over her dress tape and has Loki stand with her arm out, a notepad beside her to write down measurements. Then she measures the dress, "I'll need to add width, but I think I have an idea."

"I admit, I am nervous about altering it. I am quite fond of this gown and there is one at home I treasure even greater still that I could not gather the courage to bring, it is so precious. But if I fall in love with your work on this one, I may bring it to you along with the others."

"You will. I'm not being a braggart, either. Maggie's seen my work. I used to do museum restoration, and before that I worked for a private high-end fashion house. I can do magic with textiles."

"There seem to be more people who can work magic with common things in this realm than those who could use sorcery in Asgard. This world is wonderful and surprising."

"And now you're one of us. Don't worry. Your gown is safe."

As they leave, Erie sees her hesitate, "Loki, your origins may be a mystery to me, but it's clear as a lark how much that gown means to you. It's a right high honour for you to trust me with it. But you do need to trust me."

She sighs, "I know. It is not easy to do." Especially, she thinks, with no way to have Asgard's tailors repair it.


	42. Chapter 42

Yule fast approaches. Loki wants to dress more to her feminine side for work, but she is not sure how Ralph will react if she appears in a skirt with curves and a wish to be addressed as 'she'. So instead, she wears the long tunic, the swishing trousers, and longjohns under them so she will not freeze. She plaits her hair in the simplest style she can think of and sets off to the bookshop.

When she enters, she hangs up her coat in the office and Ralph hands her a mug of tea, "'Morning."

"Good morning."

"Well, you're pretty swishy this morning. Feeling queer as a three dollar bill?"

"I do not know what that term means."

"Eh, it's an old one. Queer- odd, unusual, an old derogatory term for a gay person. We use it more kindly amongst ourselves. And there's no three dollar bill."

"So it means someone is very very gay."

"Yep."

"I believe I would say I am very very gender indeterminate instead."

"Now you're going to have to explain that one."

"I am rather fluid. I am some days Lady, some days Lord. And often, between, during which I am a man simply for the sake of making things easier on those wishing to address me. But it does not quite fit in those times."

"So you're saying you're transgender."

"Is there a problem with this?"

"Nope. Just not something I expected."

"Did I ever tell you that I wasn't born in this realm at all?"

"Are you pulling my leg, son?"

"No. Thor is my brother. But I have been banished here and stripped of long life and strength."

"You should have told me to sit down first."

"My apologies. I thought that if I was divulging my identity, I ought to do it all at once."

"I suppose that's one way to approach it."

"So do I still have work? Or is this too odd?"

"Odd's not quite the word I'd use, but yeah, you're still my apprentice. And you still get to take on the bookshop at the end. I guess you're not any different than ten minutes ago, just have a little more complicated backstory."

"Thank you, Ralph. Magda would say I have been blessed with good fortune to have found so many people here who let me be who I am."

"How is she? Wanda? That brother of hers? Everybody adjusting well?"

"Pietro's journey will be long. He has started to recall some of what HYDRA did to him to give him his unusual speed. Wanda says he often wakes screaming. She has been spending weekends with him."

"And how goes the wedding planning?"

"Beautifully. We will be picking up dresses after work. Magda wanted a few adjustments on hers."

"And yours?"

"Perhaps. If I feel like Lady Loki on that day."

"When you say 'lady', you mean that in the royal way, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Am I supposed to bow or something when you speak?" He is joking, but at the same time, he wonders if he should.

Loki chuckles, "No, not at all. I do not want my titles here. I am just Loki, sometimes she, sometimes he, but always Loki."

"Good to know. Anything else you might want to tell me before I find out from somebody else?"

Loki freezes, wondering if she should share what she did in New York, "Ah...you might want to sit down. And you might want to have another cup of tea. Or wine."

"You sure you want to tell me this?"

"No. But Thor knows, Alexi knows, Magda knows, and Wanda knows. The people most important to me know. And I count you among them. So I ought to tell you the whole story. And you will most definitely want to be sitting."


	43. Chapter 43

Loki is incredibly relieved when Ralph does not immediately kick her out of the bookshop after spending their down times telling her story. He sips his tea, now spiked with wine, and takes a long breath after Loki has finished.

"Well damn, son. Or can't I call you that when you're dressed like this?"

"It is fine. Even when I am more feminine. It is an endearment I enjoy, either way."

"OK. You've made some shitty choices."

"Yes, I have."

"And your dad's a crappy parent."

"Yes, but Thor and I have had some limited discussions on how we have all done badly by one another. Except for possibly Frigga."

"Just call her your mother. You damn well know you want to."

"I am unwelcome to do so. When I rejected-"

"Dad you rejected Mom. Got it. But you're not on that world anymore. You're here. And you should have learned from Magda by now that family's what you want it to be, not what somebody else tries to make you have."

Loki stops. It has never occurred to her that she could redefine her family in Asgard as well as in Midgard. Ralph sips his wine-tea and watches her.

"Son, you've got a long way to go. You've learned more in your few months here than it sounds like you ever did back there. At least about living. But you're not done yet. You're going to have to let a lot of shit go or else you're going to die angry and let me tell you, as your old-man friend, that's no way to go. I've seen old folks die and men still pretty much boys whither. The bitter and angry ones regret the most,"

"Thank you. I will think."

"You always do. Now. You've got a day's worth of receipts to file. Go have fun."

Loki smiles, "Of course. I relish the task."

"Yeah," Ralph laughs, "Queer as a three dollar bill!"

When Loki leaves work, it is snowing heavily, fat fluffy flakes blanketing the grey winter day in bright clean white. The city is uncommonly quiet except for the crunch and squeek of the crystals under her feet. It makes her smile and she hums a winter song from her childhood as she walks. When she arrives home, Magda is sitting in her living room.

"Are you ready to go fetch our gowns? I am so excited! I could not wait."

"Did you eat something after work?"

"No."

Loki sighs, "Come, to the kitchen. You must not approach these things on an empty stomach. You will not be able to make proper decisions."

"You sound just like me."

Loki rifles through the fridge for shaved turkey and cheese, "That is because you have been a considerable influence on my life, short as our time together has been. I have you to thank for many of my new ways of doing things."

"You are sweet, but you figured out many things for yourself."

"I am clever, yes, but I think Ralph is right. I have learned more in these past few months about living than I did in my many years in Asgard." She hands Magda a sandwich and makes another for herself.

"You told him?"

"Everything. Mostly. There are a few unpleasant details I left out. But yes."

"Your bravery never ceases to amaze me."

"Nor yours I."

"Then let us be brave together in this very snowy evening and venture forth to gather our dresses. Oh, Loki, I am so excited! We are so close! In a few days, we will make hammentaschen together and then the next day, Wanda and I will marry and we will celebrate as dear friends do at our holiday party. It will be a delight."

"That it will be."

"Is Alexi able to attend?"

"The wedding and party? Yes, but not baking the night before. He could only choose one day."

"Will he be attending the holiday fundraiser for the refugee centre?"

"The one on the day after Christmas?"

"Yes."

"No. But Thor says we are all invited to a party to mark the year's passing at Mr Stark's tower. I do not know how comfortable I am attending. No one there really likes me, but Thor is quite excited and wants me to accompany him. I have mentioned this to Alexi and he has said he will come."

"Wanda has mentioned it as well. I was in the middle about going, but if you are, I will also." She gets her coat and keys. Loki follows her out to the car and they are soon off to meet Erie.

When they arrive, Erie is standing on the huge stone porch, the snowflakes catching in her hair; she calls to them as they get out of the car, "Child, you picked one heck of a day to go for a drive! I'd be holed up by a fireplace if I were you!"

"Oh but we were just so excited that you have our gowns done! I could not wait for a better day!"

Magda leads the way and, again, Loki follows. They wind back and up to Erie's sewing studio and there, on two of the dress forms, are their gowns. Magda's shimmers, the heavy satin dress lengthened with layers of flowing emerald green lace peeking out from under the edge of the skirt, flutter sleeves in the same lace and the length of the shoulder straps expanded with satin. The jacket is piped to match. Loki's gown is beside it. Erie removed the back two panels of the gown and replaced them with the satin brocade, the original fabric used to add expansion panels in other seams. It is expertly done, the satin pleated to create a caping effect, the backline cut low to fall across shoulder blades. The cut appears exacly the same as the original, but with more width to accommodate her wider shoulders. Thin triangular panels made from the fabric removed from the back start under the bust, panels that split at the hips to make way for inserts of the satin brocade. Beadwork along the neckline has been replicated perfectly, the beaded leaves cascading down the bodice moved when needed and added across additions. Loki cannot help but simply stare.

"So, try them on, ladies. We don't have all day."

Erie removes Magda's dress from the mannequin first. She is undressed by the time Erie brings her the gown and completely giddy as the satin slips down her body. She skips over to the full body mirror and admires herself while Erie helps Loki into the emerald gown. Her hands tremble as she smooths the fabric over her stomach.

"Go on over to the mirror," Erie coaxes. Loki does, and gapes at her reflection, "You are one gorgeous woman."

"Thank you. I don't know what else to say. I never thought I would see myself this way after I was cast out of Asgard."

"Your story keeps coming through to me in bits and pieces. One of these days, you're going to have to sit down and tell me the whole thing, if you ever are ready."

"I have already told it once today. Shall we?"

"Can you?" She isn't asking if she will, she is asking honesty if it is even possible.

"I would prefer not to, but what is one more risk of heartbreak?"

"Then don't do it now. I want you to be a willing teller."

Magda joins Loki at the mirror and hugs her from behind, her chin resting on her shoulder; Loki smiles and leans into her, hands resting over hers; her voice low, "You are absolutely beautiful, my darling. Stunning. I hope this makes up for all the times you have questioned this life and if you could be yourself here. Are you happy?"

"Indescribably happy. I never thought..."

"You would wear it?"

"When Thor brought them, I thought his gesture sweet, but misguided."

"Have you dreamt about this?"

"Often. And always with great sadness."

"Tell me how you feel now."

"I don't know. I cannot describe it. It is beyond happy. Perhaps peaceful and euphoric."

She kisses her cheek, "You do not yet believe it is real."

"Not entirely, no."

"It will when we are together dancing, singing, and being our phenomenal selves. When Alexi sees you standing before him as a goddess. When you dance as a queen in the Safe Haven. These things will bring it to reality for you. And we will all be there to share it with you."


	44. Chapter 44

The evening before the wedding, Wanda and Loki meet at Magda's to bake. While hammentaschen are the end goal, it is obvious from the scattered cookbooks and recipe binders that Magda is far too excited to focus on only one project. Loki, ever adventurous when it comes to baking, is enthusiastic to try new things, but also warns her against staying up all night. There will always be other days to bake together, there is only one day for her wedding, and she ought to sleep well. But Magda is too excited to think about sleep. She hums happily to herself as she sips tea and mixes dough. Loki works on rolling it out and cutting out circles as she finishes mixing each batch and Wanda fills them and arranges them on parchment paper covered baking trays. When there is no more dough to mix, Magda begins on khobiz mohala. Loki has never heard of either of these treats, nor has she had cinnamon rolls, which Magda tackles third.

"But these are just for us. For tomorrow morning before we dress in our finery, we will gather together in pajamas with our coffee and tea and breakfast. It will be delightful. The perfect way to start a wedding day."

"But Loki is right, my love- you must sleep. I am already tired and we have yet to put everything in the oven. We will be up all night."

"You can use my oven. Should we take some next door?"

They check their baking times and Magda agrees, "Yes. We will be up for hours if we do not." Magda puts the raw cinnamon rolls in the refrigerator, "I will bake these in the morning and drizzle some with chocolate, others with orange frosting. You will be in heaven with them fresh and warm on such a cold day!"

Loki runs the next batch of hammentaschen to her own oven and returns in a few moments, "There. Now so long as we keep good time, this plan will work."

"You had best set the timer on your phone. Magda bakes by smell, not by time."

"Intuition, not smell, my love- an old Sokovian grandmother technique! It works, I tell you!"

"It works well and good unless you have sent your cookies to your neighbour's oven. Then it will not work so well!" Wanda chides.

"I will tell you when the cookies are ready, here and there. Mark my words, Sokovian grandmothers can keep cookies from burning through walls."

"Yes, but this is a different sort of wall. It is the wall between houses, not from room to room. Can a Sokovian grandmother detect cookies with such a barrier between?"

Magda nods, "Of course I can. And I will prove it. Set your timer, but at five til, let me know. I will tell you if the hammentaschen are done or if they will need more time."

Wanda sets the alarm on Loki's phone and they wait, playing cards and until Magda holds up a finger, "They are done."

Loki checks the timer, "It says they need ten more minutes."

"It lies. Go check them."

Wanda volunteers for the job and returns with the tray a few minutes later, "You were right. They are done."

"I told you. I have the magic of Sokovian grandmothers in my blood. Now go put in more cookies. We do not want to be up all night."

It is very late when the baking is done and Loki is ready to head to her own bed. She did not bring a coat, but Wanda bundles her in a heavy quilt. Magda calls her good night from the kitchen as Loki opens the door.

"Wait, let me come with you." Wanda rests her hand on Loki's back as they walk down the steps.

"Of course. The snow has grown quite heavy." The large flakes are so dense that she cannot see the park across the street, a good two inches already on the ground, "We will be in trouble come morning if it continues at this rate."

"It is just snow. There is only trouble if it is so deep we cannot shovel it. And while they have predicted six inches tonight, I am not intimidated. I will dig us out if I need to."

They walk the few steps to her front door slowly, "It is beautiful. Were it not so cold, I would stand on the balcony to listen for the quiet patter of each cluster of snow striking its fallen brethren."

"Is there snow like this in Asgard?"

"No. Not this heavy, nor this early in the year."

"It is December! This is when snow is supposed to begin here."

"Asgard usually does not have more than a flurry for another month."

"Sokovia gets snow in October. I far prefer it to the heat of summer. I easily put warmer clothes on. Once I take so many off, though, I am down to my skin and still too hot."

"Does it get much colder?" They climb the front steps.

"Yes."

"And you like this, too?"

"For a while. And then I am ready for the year to warm again."

"Ah. The world of my birth is far colder. I have only been there a few times. And at no time was I there very long. But there is a relic of that land that brings a harsh winter and when I touched it and returned to that form, I felt my blood turn to ice. The cold of the Cask was welcoming, kind, and calling. My body yearned for a home it had never known. And now I am far more fragile and cannot even stand without coverings out in a Midgardian winter."

"Perhaps not. But could you also not touch anyone you cared for?"

"Did Thor tell you such?"

"He wondered. He did not know, as he had never seen you as one of that land, only as one of Asgard. And it had never been a problem."

"I think I would have harmed them had I touched them."

"And you so crave contact with us. You are deeply comforted by hugs, by our kisses in greeting, by holding hands. I think having to wear a blanket is a slight inconvenience compared to how you would feel were we to be forced to keep our distance."

"Likely."

"Your answers are short. You are thinking. Tell me what is on your mind."

Loki leans against the door, "What will change after you and Magda are wed?"

"You fear that we will leave you behind?"

"Something of the sort."

"Nothing will change, Loki. It will still be Wanda and Magda, your delightful sisters, living next door, having tea and coffee with you after work. Celebrating holidays together. Watching movies. Did you think something would be different?"

"No...and maybe. I do not know Midgardian marriage customs and practices."

"The only thing that will be different at all is that I am moving in with Magda and out of the tower. I have wanted to for some time, and it is closer to Pietro if I am here. And, of course, it only makes sense to finally move in order to keep house with my wife."

"It will take me a while to get used to you both saying that."

"I know. And it will take me longer to get used to hearing it or saying it. But we will both adapt."

"When Pietro is ready, he will come live in your house as well?"

"Yes, until he wishes for a place of his own."

"Ah."

"You are still worried. About what?"

"You three living in the same home, you will be so occupied by one another that you will forget I am next door."

In the silence of the heavy snow, Wanda cannot miss the deep sadness in her voice; she hugs her and kisses her cheek, "You will not be forgotten. You have been in my life less than a year, yet you are far too intertwined with it to leave it easily. Let this worry rest."

"Thank you, Wanda."

"We love you, Loki. Do not forget that."


	45. Chapter 45

When Loki wakes in the morning, he thinks he may have a problem. He feels more in-between than feminine, yet he has a gorgeous dress ready for the wedding. He slips out of bed, bundles in a blanket, and opens his front door. He will have to think about this. He really wants to wear the gown, but he is not so sure he feels so concretely feminine. His thoughts are replaced with wonder as he stares out over the snow-blanketed square. The streets have not yet been cleared and there are only a few tire tracks down them. Every car is thickly covered in snow. His own stoop has been swept, though, and there is a path shovelled between his door and Magda's. He takes this as a sign they must be ready for him and grabs his keys, locking the door behind him.

Magda opens her door, embraces him, kisses his cheeks, and beams, "Welcome to my home on this most joyous day. Dear brother, my darling, today I marry!"

"I am so excited for you."

"You seem a little reserved. Wanda told me of your fear, but do not think on it- we will never forget you. This is but a small way our lives will change over time, and we will weather them all together."

"Thank you. But my hesitation is not about you, rather that I am not feeling decidedly womanly today and rather sit in the middle of my genders, neither one nor the other. Yet there is a beautiful dress waiting for me."

"Why do you feel you must be a woman in order to wear a dress? Do you dress as a man when you are in the middle?"

On occasion. I usually default to something a little softer, likely more neutral."

"In Asgard?"

"I would have accentuated curves and been happy with that."

"But here you do not."

"No. I have worn the cinch once or twice on a middling day, but it is far more work than I usually care to put into a day when I do not wish to be anything other than me."

"You are always you, my dear, even when you wish to be more strictly one gender or the other. If you feel more masculine, but still wish to wear the dress, then do. Mix them. You will still have to shape yourself so it fits well, but your identity is yours and yours alone to express. No one else's. Wear what you love, be who you are, and we will embrace you still. You are our family; this love has no conditions."

"I will think about that."

"Of course you will. You always think deep and wonderful things. Now come. There are hot cinnamon rolls. Some have chocolate. Some have orange frosting that is utterly delectable. And there are a few I drizzled with both. Wanda has already shovelled a bit and she is warming up with coffee."

They enter the kitchen and Wanda has already made him tea, "Good morning, Loki. How are you?"

"Chilly."

"You did not wear a coat?"

"I wore the quilt. Happy wedding day!"

"Yes! I am so excited! We will dress and bundle up to go to Erie's in a few hours. But first, breakfast!"

"Thor is escorting Pietro?"

"Yes. He is the only Avenger I have invited. He said he would be bringing Jane. Is Alexi meeting us here?"

"Yes."

Magda hands him a plate with three cinnamon rolls on it, "One of each. We will take the Mercedes. It has all wheel drive. Much better for in the snow than the Trabant."

"Yes, and no one will have to crawl out of the back seat, which is much better for fancy garments," Wanda adds.

"That is most definitely an advantage." Loki pulls apart his cinnamon roll and pops a small piece in his mouth. He grins, "Oh, this is bliss in a food."

"Yes, yes it is."

"Magda, you are truly a sorcerer in the kitchen."

"I will consider that the highest compliment."

"It is."

Magda slips his plate from his hands, sets it on the counter, and hugs him, lifting him from the floor, "I am getting married today!" They all laugh, then Wanda tickles Loki and he darts in to return the favour. Magda grabs Wanda for a hug, and then tickles her, too. Loki takes the chance to get Magda, who shrieks with laughter. When they nearly spill Wanda's coffee, they stop, still happy and childlike, and bound to the table with their cinnamon rolls. Less than an hour later, they merrily traipse to Loki's house, dress bags, jewellery cases, and makeup kits in hand to get ready for the day. Wanda finds a pop station on the radio and Loki's guest bedroom becomes their salon. They do one another's hair, paint nails, and laugh extensively, giddy, and sing to the music. When Alexi knocks, no one is dressed. Magda opens the door wearing Loki's bathrobe, still giggling about Wanda's dramatic rendition of Katy Perry.

"OK...what am I walking into?" He takes off his outer jacket revealing a sharp black suit with an emerald handkercheif in the pocket.

"An absolute delight and none of us are dressed. You look dashing, though, my dear."

"Thanks. Loki tipped me off about the colour."

"I am delighted you have chosen to match us! Come in, there is coffee in the kitchen. We will be ready shortly." He pours himself a cup and settles down at the dining room table to wait.

It is not long before the parade makes its way down the stairs. First there is Magda in her dress and jacket, her hair glistening as waves of fire. Wanda follows, dramatic in her black, her hair pinned up, long earrings nearly touching her shoulders. Loki is last, hair neatly braided down his back, wearing the emerald dress and wondering just how he is going to explain this in-between state to Alexi.

When they reach the bottom of the stairs, Magda puts her arms around Loki and practically skips to the table, "Isn't he lovely today?"

"Hell yeah. Wait, he?"

"Yes. He."

Alexi shrugs, "Cool." He takes Loki's hands and kisses him, "Come on, gorgeous, we've got a wedding to get to."

Wanda is already at the door tugging on her boots, "Yes, and we do not wish to be late for our own ceremony. Have you checked the clock, Magda? We really must be going."

"Oh! It is getting late. Come one, come all! We will stop by after to pack the sweets for the party, but yes, to our wedding!"

They bundle out the door with steaming travel mugs of coffee and much excited chatter. The roads are snowy and a little slick, but they still arrive at Erie's on time. There is a battered station wagon already parked in front. Erie opens the door and ushers them in out of the cold. She takes their coats.

Thor's voice booms as they enter, "This is a joyous day indeed, my friends!"

Pietro runs to his sister and lifts her, twirling her, "I did not think we would both survive to see this day."

"Until recently, I did not think we had. Life is full of miracles, is it not?"

"Yes, though some of them are so very difficult to get to."

Thor brings Jane over to Magda, "You have not met- this is my beloved, Jane. Jane, this is Magda."

"Hi."

Magda opens her arms, "Welcome, welcome! It is good to have you here, my dear."

"Not to be rude, but you hardly know me." Jane accepts her embrace.

"Yes, but family is what we build together. Loki is a part of our family. Thor is part of his. And you are a part of Thor's. Thusly we are all family and I am very happy to have you here."

"Wow. Cool."

"Jane, you have met Loki," Thor says.

"Yeah. Once. And I slapped him. And then I thought he was dead. So...maybe we need to start over."

Loki extends a hand, "I think that would be wise. It is good to see you, Jane."

"Yeah. But what's with the dress?"

"There are days I am Lady Loki instead of Lord. Today I am in-between. But still, I wished to wear it."

"OK. Thor mentioned that. So do I call you he or she today?"

"He is fine."

"Gotcha."

"This is Alexi."

"Hi."

"Hey. Nice suit."

"Thanks."

"So...you guys are like, _together_ together?"

"Yeah. Dating. It's been fun."

"Nice."

"Very. You and Thor?"

"Yep. We make his dad uncomfortable."

"From what Loki's said, that's not too hard to do."

Jane nods, "Yeah, just being from Earth, you know, gives him the heebie jeebies. Can't stand that his heir likes me instead of one of the girls back home. Thor's a rebel."

"And here I thought Loki was the troublemaker."

"Don't let my man's innocent expression, trim suit, and flowing Fabio hair fool you. He's got a mischievous streak, too."

Erie ushers them towards the ballroom, "Well come on in, folks. The room's ready for you. And so's your officiant."

"Who is the officiant?" Jane asks.

"I am."

Loki knows the voice; Thor's face lights up, "Fury!"

"Yeah, the one and only. I don't know how Wanda tracked me down. I'm not supposed to be able to be found. But she did, and here I am. Congratulations to the happy couple. Let's get you married."

"But you are legally dead, are you not?" Thor asks.

"I've got identities that are still alive and thriving, thank you. Don't worry, this is as official as it gets."

Alexi picks up a violin ready for him resting on the music stand, "So, shall we?"

Loki and Pietro stand to one side, Thor and Jane on the other, and Nicholas Fury, also known as Rev. Anthony Tempest, begins with Erie beside him holding a small box containing the rings, "We are gathered here today to witness the joining of Wanda Maximoff and Magda St Stanislauss in holy matrimony. Now I'm going to keep this simple. Alexi has a song for us. Then we'll do the vows and the ring exchange. Erie will sign the marriage certificate as your witness, and then we'll be as legal as anybody else."

Alexi rests his bow on the strings and plays a few notes. Then he plays Vivaldi's "Winter" blended with a traditional Sokovian melody.

When he is done, Magda hugs him, "Bless you, that was beautiful."

"Thanks. It seemed appropriate on Yule. And with the snow coming down like crazy."

"Yet with home woven into it." Alexi goes to stand beside Loki.

Nick waits until their attention is back on him, "Now, Wanda, Magda. Vows."

They take hands and then deep breaths. Wanda nods to Magda. Magda clears her throat. She takes a moment before speaking.

"We have been together for a few years, such a small percentage of our lives thusfar. But when hearts sing together, that matters little, yes? Yes. And so here we are. I love you dearly, my beloved Wanda. And so on this delightfully snowy day, I make my vow to you to stand by you in this life and the next. To endure through your absences. To wait patiently for news when things are uncertain. To laugh with you and to build our family for the rest of our days as we have done thusly. To share sorrows and joy. And to hold hope for you when you cannot hold it yourself. And should you pass before me, I will light the candle for you."

Wanda has tears streaming down her cheeks; she wipes her eyes and smiles, "Damn it, Magda, my eyes are leaking."

Magda laughs and wipes her tears with a handkerchief, "I will always wipe your tears, my love."

"You're making them leak more."

"Whenever you are ready, darling."

"I will not be so eloquent. But I will try. I vow to love you and care for you for the rest of my days and beyond. I will always remember to be grateful to your steadfastness. There are few who could wait as you have waited, who would be willing to take on the question as to if I will return from every mission, and in what state I will return. That I have found you is a miracle. And so when we are together, I will live in the present with you for all moments, happy or sad. And yes, we will also build our family together as we have done so far, for as long as we are living. When you need me to hold your hope, I will do so. A shared burden is lighter, and shared joys amplified. And if you should pass before me, I will light the candle for you."

"And now my eyes are leaking, my dearest Wanda. You see? You are eloquent. You need not doubt yourself."

Wanda turns to her brother, "This is one reason I love this woman- she is encouragement incarnate."

Pietro smiles as Wanda slips the handkerchief from Magda's hand and wipes her tears. Erie steps forward with the box.

"Ladies, when you are ready, we'll do the rings." Erie opens the box.

"I am ready. Wanda, are you?"

"Yes, I am."

"Good," Nick continues, "May these rings serve to remind you of your vows. Of this day. And of the family you have built together. That love blesses them. There isn't anything more sacred than that. Magda, take Wanda's ring. Repeat after me, 'I, Magda, freely give my hand and heart to you. With this ring, I thee wed.'"

Magda takes a dark band set with emeralds from the box and slips it on Wanda's finger, "I, Magda, freely give my hand and heart to you. With this ring, I thee wed."

"Wanda, the same. 'I, Wanda, freely give my hand and heart to you. With this ring, I thee wed."

Magda slips off her long gloves and hands them to Erie; Wanda retrieves a delicate rose gold ring with a single diamond set into the band, "I, Wanda, freely give my hand and heart to you. With this ring, I thee wed."

Nick can't help but grin, "By the powers granted to me by the State of New York, I now pronounce you legally wedded spouses. You may kiss." They do, a light, sweet kiss that lingers and makes Loki's fingers seek Alexi's; he notices Jane and Thor squeeze hands as well.

Magda turns to her family and tosses her arms open, still holding Wanda's hand, "We're married! Come, hug!" They do, and when she sees Nick trying to sneak back, she laughs and pulls him in, "You may be the most difficult man on the planet to find, but you will not escape this!" While he tries to resist a little, he knows it is pointless and surrenders to her happy insistence. After, the required signatures are scrawled on the marriage license and they continue celebrating as Erie serves them a light lunch. No one can stop smiling.

As they ready to leave, Nick shakes Magda's hand, then Wanda's, "I'm glad you hunted me down. However you did it, it was worth it to be here."

"You can thank Natasha for finding you. I do not know how she did it."

"Well ifshe's the one who did it, you might never know. She's got back channels around the world. Congratulations, and have fun celebrating. I'll see you around." He disappears into the snow, walking far enough down the street that they cannot see what car he gets into, if any.

They finish bundling themselves up and thank Erie, "I'll see you at Sylvia's tonight. We'll keep celebrating in proper fashion! Be safe in this snow, kids."

And the wedding party is off. Alexi drives Magda's car, the newlyweds in the back seat cuddling, Loki beside him. Jane follows them to the row house, creeping through the ever-increasing snowfall. They settle into the warmth of Magda's living room for a little while before heading to the Sylvia Rivera Safe Haven for the holiday party, hammentaschen and khobiz mohala wrapped and packed in the back of Jane's station wagon.


	46. Chapter 46

When they arrive at the Sylvia Rivera Safe Haven, the snow has started drifting against the building in the light wind. Someone hidden under layers of coats and scarves shovels the walk and there is a truck ploughing one last pass in the parking lot. Wreathes have been hung on the centre doors. Magda signs everyone in and they take their baked treats to the lounge. There are little coloured lights around every window, draped along the walls of the room, and wrapped around a tall, skinny tree decorated with paper chains and handmade ornaments. Cheerful music plays from a stereo in the corner. There are a few people setting up. Erie mixes punch while Ripley sets out food.

"...and I still say that 'Drunken Lazy Bastard' would make a _great_ holiday song."

"No, child, I'm afraid your idea of holiday music isn't the same as the rest of us."

"Well, Erie, just because my family is completely disfunctional doesn't mean our holidays can't have their own soundtrack for our special kind of special."

"Most people would just play that Twisted Sister Christmas album and call it good."

"We're too twisted for Twisted Sister. We're more like...I don't know. Is there a band called 'Fucked up beyond all recognition'?"

"Not that I know of."

"Well if there is, it should be a German band. I wonder how you say that in German? I bet it sounds awesome."

Wanda calls to her as they cross the room, "Would you like to know? I can give an approximate translation."

Ripley grins, "Well aren't you folks fancy! You're a little early- we should put you to work!"

"Please, do! We come with many wiling hands."

"It's good to see you, Wanda."

"You too, Ripley. It has been quite some time."

"Yeah, you should come around more often."

Magda looks around, "Are there any of the others here yet?"

"Escher's outside shoveling- ze wanted to make sure everybody could find the door! Reverend Matt's driving the truck. Oh, and Ethan's here somewhere with Deb."

"Ah, small in number, yet a mighty crew!"

"Yep."

Loki leans in to Alexi, "'Ze?' I have not heard this name."

"Not a name. A pronoun, like 'he' or 'she', but for neutral folks. Most people don't know it, though, so you hear it mostly in-house."

"What do most people use for those who are middling in gender?"

"They."

"But that is a plural."

"We're making it a singular neutral. Better than 'it'."

"Indeed."

Magda introduces Ripley to Thor and Jane. Wanda introduces Pietro. Others drift in. A middle aged man with a mohawk, a young woman close beside him. A priest who hugs everyone he meets and tells each person how wonderful it is that they are present. And a someone so bundled up and soaked in snow that Loki knows this is Escher, fresh in from shoveling. Loki is curious as to how a 'ze' might look and is happy to see a person about his own age of completely indeterminate gender peel back the layers. He introduces himself and offers to help hang up the coats. Ze accepts the offer. Others come in. A large group of older teenagers arrives and a few families with children come in after. The room is lively and crowded.

On their way back from the coat rack, Loki asks, "I am sorry to sound impertinent or rude, but I have never met someone who uses 'ze' as their pronoun before. Do you ever use others, or do you always prefer to settle in the middle?"

"I'm always a 'ze'. How about you? What are your pronouns?"

"They change. Today, I feel more in-between, but I wanted to wear this beautiful dress. Magda was quite helpful in spelling out that I can be a 'he' in a gown, should I so wish. And so I am. But there are days when I feel very much a 'she' and others very much a 'he'."

"So you're fluid."

"Yes."

"Cool. You're really new to this, aren't you?"

"Less than a year. And I am not from around here. Where I was raised, such things are not unheard of, but uncommon. And people who rest in the middle of genders, or without one at all, they are quite rare. We do not have words for them as you do."

"I say I'm agender and androgynous. So I really do look like I am kind of both, or maybe neither."

"You will have to define those terms for me."

"Agender- I don't identify with a gender. And androgynous is how I look- neither male nor female."

"Hence using 'ze'."

"Yep, that's right."

"Thank you for your patience. I learn so much from Wanda and Magda and their friends."

Alexi bounds over, "Hey, Esch."

"Hi, Lex. What's up?"

"You're hogging my sexy boyfriend." Loki blushes, "See? Totally adorable."

"He's a sweet guy. And really respectful with the questions. Thank you for asking."

"You are ever welcome, Escher."

Alexi takes his hand, "Come on, Magda's going to make the big announcement."

"What big announcement?" Escher asks, tagging along behind.

"Not spoiling the surprise, Esch! Come on!"

"You're a tease!"

"I know. Isn't it great?"

"No, you bitch!" Escher laughs and slugs Alexi's arm. Alexi shoves zir back, giggling.

"You just have to wait!"

In the centre of the room, Magda claps her hands, "May I have your attention?" Only a few people listen. She tries again.

Thor tries, "Your attention, good people!" The room falls silent.

"Thank you, Thor. That was most helpful." Magda clears her throat, "My beloved Wanda and I have an announcement- another reason to celebrate together this beautiful snowy Yule. We got married today!" The room erupts in cheers, clapping hands, and screams of joy. Magda and Wanda are enveloped in a swarm of well-wishers all ready to give hugs and congratulations.

Someone turns up the music, and the dancing is rambunctious. There are only a few people seated and Loki is one of them. It is so very different from dancing in Asgard. Asgard's dancing is done formally in the palace, even at the feasts. This sort of party is only one that he has heard about from Volstagg, who has hosted gatherings with his wife. But he has never been allowed to participate in them, Odin insisting they were beneath the station of the prince. He knows Thor sneaked off to them, though, or just went and begged forgiveness after. He, however, had closer eyes on him, thanks to his age and his capacity for causing mischief. He has no idea what to do. He watches Alexi dancing in a circle with friends. They are singing together, jumping up and down, and hugging a lot.

Jane drops onto the couch beside him, "So...not going to dance?"

"I do not know how."

"There's really not a 'how' to it. But Thor was the same way at first. It's like, even your party dancing has steps. He tried to teach me, but I'm a terrible dancer."

"I would be embarrassed to try. This is so different from what I know."

"Yeah, but everything's different from what you know. Even you're different from what you know. So go out there with your boyfriend and give it a try."

"Alexi is having fun with his own friends. I do not wish to interrupt."

"Were you this shy in Asgard? Because if I remember, you were pretty much not. Granted, you were kind of evil then, and I had an alien energy force living in me, so we might not have quite been ourselves, but still. You were all bold and brassy."

"I was, once. Even before I fell."

"So where'd that go?"

"I think I left it in Asgard."

"Well you're going to have to find it again. There's nothing wrong with being cheeky or having fun."

"I tend to go a little too far when I try to be cheeky."

"Like letting Frost Giants into Asgard kind of too far?"

"Precisely."

"You can learn to check yourself. We learn that as kids- how not to push a joke too far, when to stop daring the other kids to eat bugs, all that. You boys didn't really have that guidance. Thor's learned a lot working with the Avengers about how to be a person. But he still overdoes things sometimes. You'll figure it out."

"Given our history, your faith in me is astounding."

"What history? New York? Me slapping you? That creepy Aether stuff and those damn elves?"

"Yes."

"You did exactly what you said you would do. You pulled a damn fine trick- you were scary with the whole 'Loki of Jotunheim' bit, to be honest, but that was the plan. And you kept me alive. I think we're good."

"Really?"

"Yep. But don't ever go playing dead again. Thor was pretty torn up about that. I'd have to hunt you down and slap the hell out of you."

"It was the only way out of a lifetime of imprisonment."

"I know. And I get it. But it still was kind of a shitty thing to do."

"I never intended to be found out."

"Kinda figured."

"Thank you, Jane, for your understanding."

"Anytime. Family, right?"

He pauses, thinking about how this has all come about, and also realizing that Jane will age alongside him here in Midgard, a sister beside him as they grow older, while Thor will not appear to change at all, "Yes. Family."

"Cool. Now come on. Alexi's waiting. And you only live once. Well, maybe. You have a tendency to come back from the dead."

"I assure you, surviving Svartalfheim was no easy feat. And I did actually get run through."

"Well that must have sucked."

"It did."

She grabs his hand, "Well then you really know you only get one shot at this. Come on. Dance time." He resists a little, but relents, allowing her to drag him across the dance floor to where Alexi is in the middle of the circle, one hand on his head, the other holding his ankle, as he bobs his knee towards his chest. It looks quite uncomfortable.

Escher calls out, "You are the best hat dancer EVER!"

When he stops, others in the circle cheer and clap for him and Ripley jumps in the middle shouting, "I AM THE LAWMOWER CHAMP!" and begins pulling an invisible cord with far more flair and enthusiasm than Loki has ever seen from any of his neighbours while mowing the lawn.

Alexi bounds to Loki, "You joined us!" He throws his arms around Loki's neck and kisses his cheek, "How is my little wallflower?"

"Delightful. Jane has convinced me to join you."

"I saw you two talking." The song changes, "Ooo, slow song. You want to dance?"

"If you will show me how."

"Well we pretty much do just as we are and kind of sway. There's nothing fancy about it."

"Magda and Wanda are doing something different with their hands."

"Yeah, the shoulder, waist, and hands bit...it's a little more formal way of doing the same thing. And how we still dance in Sokovia. They didn't really adapt to America the way I did." Alexi starts stepping side to side and Loki follows.

"I have not yet adapted entirely to this place, either. There is much left to learn. And I admit, I will likely choose to keep some of my old habits as well."

"That's part of your charm. You're different than the other boys and girls."

"As are you."

"Is that why you dig me?"

"In part. And you are not afraid of what I have been."

"Nope. But no genocidal maniac stuff. That would be a deal breaker."

"I have no intentions of doing such things."

"I know. You've come along way. I'm proud of you. You're starting to open up to this new life."

"Thank you."

Alexi rests his head against Loki's shoulder, "You're a sweetheart, you know that?" Loki wraps his arms around him, "And I'm super lucky we found each other."

"I am grateful for this as well."

They snuggle together on the dance floor, one of many couples tucked close together during the slow dances. When the music speeds up, Alexi will not let Loki retreat to the wall. Thor bounds into their circle and wraps an arm around Loki's shoulders, swaying and singing the song as enthusiastically as the others. Jane swoops in to rescue Loki and tugs him into the middle of the circle.

She takes both of his hands, "Here, follow my lead. There's nothing complicated about the Time Warp."

"There is something specific to do?"

"Yep. The song tells you. Just follow along. You'll get it."

"I can hardly hear you over the din!"

"Just follow!"

He does. He fumbles. He tries not to feel embarrassed. Then he realizes a few things. Firstly, that everyone else is doing this same dance. Secondly, the circle has dissolved into sort of a loose cluster. Thirdly, that many of the others are quite drunk. This alone makes him feel better. He is unlikely to blunder any worse than Escher, who is giggling uncontrollably, staggering through the dance while draped on Ripley. Neither of them are graceful in the least. And, he observes, this is not a dance based on grace. Midgard's informal social dancing, he is slowly realizing, is based on enthusiasm and emotion, not on elegance. Little by little, with Jane here encouraging him, with Alexi coming from behind and placing a hand in the small of his back as they dance, with Thor singing the ridiculous lyrics at the top of his lungs, completely sober by comparison to most, and loving it, Loki starts to emerge from his shell. This dancing is _fun_ and this level of fun is something he hasn't had in years.


	47. Chapter 47

_Author's Note:_

 _This chapter is mostly erotic. The next chapter is a continuation of this one and contains one erotic scene and the lead-up to it. I did not want to uprate the entire fic, so this is the warning that you can skip straight to Chapter 49 if you do not wish to read this. It is not critical to the plot._

 _For those who do choose to read this, please give feedback- it is my first time writing erotica and I would appreciate any notes about if it worked or did not work._

 _Thank you._

It is getting late when Alexi suggests they leave and he invites Loki to stay at his apartment. Loki, feeling a little adventurous, agrees. He runs into Thor on the way to retrieve his coat.

"Leaving, Brother?"

"Yes. With Alexi."

"Oh?"

"Do not call on me early in the morning. You may not find me returned to my house."

"OH! Ho, ho, Brother, you have a late night planned?"

Loki grins, the colour rising to his cheeks, "Perhaps. But perhaps not. We shall see where things lead."

Thor cannot help but tease, "Do I need to give you a quick lesson on romance? I know you had little experience in Asgard."

Loki shoves him, playful, but slightly irked, "I know enough not to need your advice."

"Then I will leave you to your wooing. Carry on, and be sure to tell me about your night when you have recovered from it."

Loki rolls his eyes and leaves, "I should say the same for you." Thor laughs.

He meets Alexi at the door and hands him his coat, "Shall we?"

"Bundle up, buttercup, it's cold outside."

They step out into the drifting, swirling snow. Loki closes his eyes for a moment, enchanted by the sea of white.

"Come on. I'm freezing already." Alexi jogs to his car. Loki ambles after, his toes quickly aching from the cold, his fingers chilled even when stuffed deep in his pockets. He slips into the passenger seat and Alexi cranks the heater, "I don't know how you do it. I'm an ice cube."

"I am quite cold as well, but the snow is beautiful."

"What, no snow in Asgard?"

"There is, but not this early, nor this fluffy. And certainly not this much of it."

"Well it's a good thing I don't live far from here, because it's going to be slow going." The tires crunch against new snow. They creep quietly to the ragged apartment building that Alexi calls home, its facade even dingy under the fresh snowfall. The hallways are dim and cold, the green carpet faded where it is most heavily trafficked. Alexi leads the way up three flights of stairs and unlocks his apartment door. Inside is as different from the hallway as possible. The flat is small, only four rooms, and they are clean and minimally furnished. There are rag rugs on the bare wood floors and a large abstract painting above the couch. Loki takes off his shoes and coat and follows him to the dining room table, white with chrome trim. He makes coffee for the both of them and they sit and sip until Alexi breaks the silence.

"So...have you ever actually had sex before? You said courtship wasn't exactly full of alone time."

"Yes. I went out with Thor to battle. There were a few times I took a woman to bed."

"How many is a few?"

"Three."

"Only three? And never with someone you actually cared about?"

"Correct."

"Mmmm, so this is a special kind of deflowering."

Loki blushes, "I'm not exactly a novice..."

"No, but there's a difference when it's something special. Having had sex with prostitutes, boyfriends, girlfriends, and casual friends, I feel like I'm some kind of authority on this."

"Ah."

"You're nervous."

"A little."

"Don't worry. I'll take things slow."

"Thank you."

Alexi finishes his coffee and puts his mug in the sink; instead of sitting down, he stands behind Loki and begins gently kneading his shoulders, "Relax. I'm not going to push you into something you don't want. If you're not ready, just say something."

"I am willing to try."

"OK. Come on. Let's get you laying down so I can work some of this tension out better." He leads Loki to his bedroom, to crisp white sheets under a dark blue comforter. He peels back the blankets, "Will you let me undress you?" Loki nods and Alexi carefully unfastens the gown and pulls it over his head. He drapes it over the back of a chair and Loki stretches out on his stomach on the bed. Alexi stares for a moment, "This image, right here- pretty as a painting." Loki smiles. Alexi runs his hands along Loki's side, down to the curve of his hips, and up to his butt. Loki tenses. "Relax, you're OK. Just tell me if I go to far." He pours a little massage oil on his hands and warms it before kneading until the muscles relax a little. He works his way up Loki's back, slow spirals along his spine out to his sides, his hands warm and firm as they move towards his shoulders.

"You have magic hands."

"I went to school for this, back before I was a guy. I was good."

"You still are."

"Mmmm, you think so?"

"Oh yes..." His words trail off as Alexi rubs the stiffness from his neck, inching his fingers up to the base of his skull. He starts back down and rubs arms and hands, then legs, down to feet and back up, slipping fingers between Loki's legs just an inch, testing to see what Loki will do. When he does not get a reaction, he gently rubs high on the inside of Loki's thighs and ends with his hands resting on Loki's butt.

"Could those magic fingers ease the tension from the other side?" He moves his hands back to allow Loki to turn over and starts at his shoulders, working down until his fingers linger on Loki's hips. He slides his hands along the tops of his thighs, then back up.

Loki props himself up on his elbows, "May I undress you?" Alexi nods. Loki is careful with the jacket, neatly folding it on the chair. As he concentrates on shirt buttons, Alexi kisses him lightly, teasing open Loki's lips. Loki fumbles with the buttons. Alexi untucks the shirttails and shrugs out of it as soon as it is loose. Loki has the trousers unfastened before the shirt hits the floor and he tugs them down. Bare skin. Warmth. An intimacy he craves. He presses his chest to Alexi's as they kiss. His hands run up his back and stop against the chest binder.

"Take it off me. I don't want fabric between us."

"Gladly."

Loki unfastens it and tosses it to the floor. Alexi pushes him back to the bed and Loki sits, pulling him down onto his lap, their kisses deep and slow. Alexi leans forward and Loki eases onto his back. Loki pauses for breath and then turns onto his side, Alexi's legs tangled with his.

Alexi slips his hands down Loki's chest, one hand coming to rest on his hip, the other inching into the crease of his leg, gently stroking the soft skin until, finding no resistance, he gently begins to knead what his hands have newly discovered. Loki softly moans as his erection stiffens in gentle hands. He opens his legs, turning again onto his back. Alexi licks below his jaw, eliciting a soft moan, and places a trail of fluttering kisses from chin to thigh. He drags his tongue up the hardened flesh, sucks for only a moment, and then stops, kissing his way back up to Loki's lips.

"You stopped..."

"I did. I want to give you an option."

"Of what?"

"Of how you want to tease _me_. Open the box on the nightstand." Loki does. In it, sitting in velvet, is a set of glimmering glass objects.

"What are these?"

"Sex toys. Dildos."

"They are beautiful. What is this little one?"

"A butt plug."

"Oh my."

"You haven't ever used any of this, have you?"

"No."

"Well the idea is pretty simple. Stick it where there's a place to. The glass warms to the touch and the weight is just fantastic. Try whatever you'd like." Loki selects a narrow glass wand and Alexi kisses him hard. He feels the cool glass slide along his side and around his back. Loki rests it between his cheeks to warm it. The cold is enticing and Alexi straddles him, lowering himself over his erection. Loki moans, drops the dildo, and runs his hands up Alexi's sides, his thumbs resting on nearly flat breasts, stroking nipples that he yearns to lick. Alexi arches, rocking slowly, and Loki pulls him down so his lips can satisfy their need. Alexi gasps and slows his motion to match the rhythm of his lover's mouth.

When he feels overwhelmed by the gentle sucking and flicking of his nipples, he sits up and Loki props himself up to meet his lips. Alexi reaches behind him, his hand stroking whatever he can touch- a thigh, delicate skin- and he tries to reach farther under. He finds the dildo and gently strokes the soft crease between Loki's leg and groin, inching back towards his butt. Loki stiffens. Alexi stops.

"No anal?"

"I don't think..."

"Just say no. If you don't want it, tell me. I'll stop. No means no...unless you're into that kind of kink, and then we need a safe word."

"No. No on both."

"OK." He puts the dildo on the nightstand, "You're tense again. Do you need to talk about something?"

"No. I've just...had an unpleasant experience. But do not let this ruin the night."

Alexi smiles, "Of course not. It's an opportunity to relax you all over again." He begins gently rocking his hips and then bends low to kiss under his jaw. Loki shudders, "That good?"

"Oh yes...don't stop."

"I don't plan on it." He pulls Loki up, "Sit." Alexi wraps his legs around his waist and Loki grabs his butt, "Mmmm, I like that." He resumes rocking against him, their lips meeting, panting, as their pace increases and Loki's fingers work their way down. One hand finds the soft folds he is sliding in and out of and he slowly eases a finger in as well, then a second.

Alexi's eyelids flutter and he gasps, "Fuck, that's good." He moves faster against him, harder and his breath is more ragged. Loki kisses him hard. Being able to evoke this reaction in someone is what he likes best about sex and what he has always looked forward to, nearly as much as his own release. He lays Alexi on his back and withdraws his finger, instead slipping the slender glass dildo in its place. Alexi grips the sheet as Loki eases into their rhythm. The dildo slips and he shoves his hand under himself to hold it in place, his other hand wrapped around Loki's neck, his fingers gripping his hair.

Loki speeds up, his eyes closing as he bends to kiss him. When he can no longer focus on his lips, he nuzzles them into his neck and pants in time with his thrusting. Alexi moans and whimpers. When Loki reaches climax, he groans, long and low, and then collapses, panting, against Alexi's chest.

"How close?"

"A few minutes. Please don't stop."

"I'm twitching and a bit over sensitive. May I continue another way?"

"Just stop talking and make me come."

Loki withdraws and draws out the dildo. He lays beside Alexi and slides his fingers down his stomach through the tuft of fluff and into the soft folds of skin slick from him. He slides his fingers into Alexi's body and holds them there for a moment, enjoying the warmth and intimacy, before drawing them out and back, regaining their slower tempo. Alexi's body responds, rocking against his hand, and he pants for lips to kiss. His hand reaches for Loki's, the other rests against the one between his legs, pressing fingers deeper, urging them faster. It is not long before Alexi quivers and arches, orgasming around Loki's fingers. Loki wants to continue stroking through it, but Alexi presses his hand deep and rubs himself until his legs clench closed and he is gasping for breath. Loki kisses his forehead.

"Oh fuck, Loki. That was good. Was it good for you?"

"Yes. Very much."

"Do you see what I mean about the difference?"

"Mmmm, yes. I do." 

Alexi draws Loki's hand out from between his legs, "We should go clean up a bit."

"Perhaps."

"You don't want to move."

"No. Nor do I want to stop staring at your beautiful body here sprawled beside me on the rumpled sheets."

"You're so damn poetic! Thank you." He kisses Loki's nose, "But I really do want to wash. I'm feeling a bit sticky." Alexi stumbles out of bed, laughing, "Oh my god, you shagged my legs stupid! Hold me up, legs!"

Loki smiles and tries to stand, "Mine appear a bit more solid."

"You've had a few minutes to recover! I'm still twitching!" They stagger to the bathroom giggling and Alexi hands him a washcloth. They clean themselves and stumble back into bed, "Shit, I'm tired."

"As am I."

"Don't worry about me getting pregnant. Birth control is a thing here."

"To be honest, I hadn't considered it."

"Oh?"

"I consider you a man. Your anatomy did not change that."

Alexi cuddles up against him, smiling, "That's the best thing anybody's ever said to me after sex."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm super happy. Good night, Loki. Sweet dreams. And thank you." He reaches over to the nightstand and turns out the light. Loki feels Alexi's breathing slow and he knows he is asleep. He kisses his hair and shifts his weight a little.

"I think I love you, Alexi." He closes his eyes and joins him in dreaming.


	48. Chapter 48

_Author's Note:_

 _This chapter is considerably less erotic than the last, but it still contains one erotic scene and the lead-up to it. I did not want to uprate the entire fic, so this is the warning that you can skip straight to Chapter 49 if you do not wish to read this. It is not critical to the plot._

 _For those who do choose to read this, please give feedback- it is my first time writing erotica and I would appreciate any notes about if it worked or did not work._

 _Thank you._

Loki and Alexi wake early, the sky is still dark when the phone chimes, "Longest nights of the year. Looks like it's still pretty early, though." Alexi checks to see why the phone sounded, "Aw, hell. There's another storm coming. We'd better get back to your place before it does or else we're not going to get out today."

"Oh? That bad?"

Alexi nearly falls out of bed and fumbles for clothes, "Yeah, and moving pretty fast. No time for showers. Grab some clothes."

"All I have here is the gown."

"Nope, I still have a set of your softies. Here." He hands them to him.

Loki reluctantly sits up, "Oh, very well. If you insist on not being snowed in together."

"Frankly, I hate this apartment building. If I'm going to be snowed in, I want it to be at your place where the electricity isn't as likely to go, the furnace fail, and the pipes freeze."

"That happens often?"

"Every other storm." Alexi digs a small bag out from under the bed and begins throwing things into it while Loki dresses. A toothbrush. A set of clothes. Extra socks and underwear. Loki borrows a pair of socks and carefully places his dress in a plastic grocery bag before they bundle up.

The drive is slow, many of the streets still only somewhat cleared. Loki stares at the buildings draped in snow, awed by the beauty of the quietly glittering early morning under the pale light from the streetlamps. When they turn onto his street, he looks to the ash, her branches heavily blanketed.

"Does the snow ever become so heavy that the trees snap?"

"Rarely. That's more likely to happen if we get a really bad ice storm."

"I assume those are not pleasant?"

"No, they suck. Especially if your utilities are shit thanks to your worthless landlord."

"Ah."

"Everything is iced. The roads. Your porch. The stairs. Your car. And it won't warm up to melt, either. Nature just piles more snow on top. So you end up falling down a lot. Or sliding around the roads like they're a skating rink. Or running into stuff. It's all just bad. Really pretty, but super bad." He parks the car in front of Magda's Mercedes, "They must've gotten in late. The car's cleared off."

"Oh?"

"So they would have gotten home after the snow stopped. We were a bit busy to notice, but the phone weather thingy says it stopped pretty early this morning."

"I think we were much happier as we were than watching for the snow to cease falling."

"God, yes."

They shiver on their way to the front door and kick off snow-covered boots as soon as they are in the warm of his home. Loki makes coffee and scrambles eggs as the morning begins to lighten just a little.

They eat, and when they are finished and the dishes are washed, Alexi grins, "So...now that those are clean, shall we shower?"

"I assume this shower will not merely be a cleansing one?"

"Sexy shower!" Alexi laughs, "Drag me to your bathroom, I want to get dirty!"

Loki takes his hand and tugs him up the stairs. They drop their clothes in the bathroom and stumble into the shower enclosure giggling. It is a tight fit and there is not much room for their elbows. They cannot keep their hands off one another and even before the water is on, Loki is pressed against the wall, Alexi's lips on his. He fumbles for the faucet. The hot water feels delightful as it warms away the chill. Alexi's hand is between his legs and lips migrate down to his chin, his neck, his chest, his stomach, and they rest for a moment before he licks, teasing Loki hard as the water runs down his face. Loki grasps at the wall as lips close around him, gently sucking. He moans.

There is a light knock at the door, but neither of them hears it. Wanda stands outside with a package. She lets herself in and takes it to the dining room table. She hears the water running upstairs and wonders if she should leave a note. Then she hears a muffled moaning and she blushes. The extra car on the street is Alexi's. She had not recognized it in the dark. She quietly leaves, locking the door behind her.

"Was he both there and awake?" Magda asks when she returns.

"Oh yes."

"Did you show him what you brought? You were gone only such a short time."

"He was otherwise occupied. Alexi's car is in the street."

"Oh! How delightful! Did you walk in on something?"

"I believe they are in the shower. And they are most definitely occupying one another."

Magda laughs, "They are such a lovely couple! I hope this means they will stay together. Loki needs Alexi so badly."

"That he does."

After both Loki and Alexi are finished in the shower and have finally taken the time to wash one another, they dress and return to the kitchen for more coffee. Loki stares out the windows. The sky that had started to grey has once again darkened. The storm is rolling in.

"Hey, what's this on the table?"

"Hmmm?"

"This box."

"I have no idea."

"It wasn't here when we went upstairs."

"No, it was most definitely not. Open it."

Alexi does and it is full of hammentashen, khobiz mohala, and a few cinnamon rolls, "They look amazing. Are these from last night?"

"One of my sisters must have brought them over."

Alexi pauses, a cinnamon roll halfway to his lips, "Um...we were pretty loud."

"Yes, we were."

"So...either Wanda or Magda just got an earful."

Loki grins, "That they did. There will be no question as to what we did last night. Perhaps we have even saved ourselves from prying questions."

"Or maybe invited more of them. You girls are mighty sharey."

"That will be a fun conversation, indeed."

"You look like you're actually serious about that."

"I would like to see if I can make Magda blush."

"We'll have to get a lot more kinky to do that. Who do you think took me into my first sex shop? She helped me pick up my first strap-on. She's likely to ask what toys we used! Maybe next time we could be a little more adventurous."

Loki's smile brightens at the thought of there being a next time, "Perhaps. Or perhaps we will simply explore more deeply that which we began last night."

"Take it slow?"

"Yes, please, take it slow."

Alexi brings Loki khobiz mohala, peels off a piece, and carefully feeds it to him, "Whatever you want, darling. I want my Loki to be happy."


	49. Chapter 49

When Wanda invites Loki over for a quiet Christmas Eve, he has no idea what to expect. In his studies of religions, he has learned that Magda, practicing Judaism, would not celebrate this holiday. He does not know what Wanda's beliefs are. He knocks on the door at sunset and she answers warmly, ushering him in with a hug and kisses on the cheeks. They have not seen each other in a few days. Alexi spent the day after Yule at his house and stayed until the storm passed, creeping his car to work for the night shift. Loki slept heavily, waking late and only leaving the house to shovel his porch and walk. It was very cold and he was very tired. When Wanda called him to extend the invitation, he had been dunking a slightly stale cinnamon roll in his coffee while watching light snow drift across his back yard.

"Come in. It is far too cold to stand outside for long." She closes the door.

"Yes, it is quite cold. How many months did you say this lasts?"

"Usually the deep cold is strongest in January and February. The city begins to warm a little in March."

Magda comes from the living room, "Hello, my dear brother! It has been too long." She embraces him, kisses his cheeks, and then hugs him again, "I know it has only been a few days, but I have missed you."

"And I you, Magda."

"Ah, do not lie, my dear one- I know you had company." She winks at him.

"That does not mean I did not miss your gentle teasing about him, Sister."

"Oh, I am sure we can make up for it tonight. Wanda? Do you think we can?"

"Certainly. Especially given how deeply you seemed to be enjoying his company when I delivered your treats."

"Hmmm, yes. I was being gifted a treat of another kind."

Magda pats his shoulder, "Ah, yes you were! Now come, tell us about your nights. We have plenty of coffee. You can regale us with all the sordid details."

"They aren't _that_ sordid."

"Then tell us what you hold in the deep corners of your heart and mind. Come, Wanda, there is khobiz mohala on the dining table. We will eat. Unless your story is so scintillating that we ought not." She wags both eyebrows and then bursts into giggles.

Loki laughs as they each take an arm and playfully drag him to the table; Magda pours coffee and Wanda props her feet up on a chair, "So...you and Alexi. Your first time, or no?"

"No."

"I hear a 'but' in there."

"Yes, a butt...I assume there were two of them," Magda snorts as she giggles at her own joke.

Loki rolls his eyes and chuckles, "You are terrible."

"I know! I cannot help it. Carry on."

"The first with someone I care deeply about. Other encounters were sex for the sake of having sex."

"And how do you feel? Is this good?"

"Oh yes, very. And it is as I have feared- once we have shared this, I have fallen so completely for him. My dear sisters, I think I am in love."

Wanda gets up and hugs him, "I am happy for you. Enjoy this feeling of new love. It is beautiful."

"Thank you."

Magda lights candles in the centre of the table, "I as well. You are glowing. We would not be able to see these candles if your joy were a lamp."

"Is this a holiday where candles are lit for the dead? I have not encountered that in my readings."

"No, but there are many traditions that use candle light. The story is that Christ was born at midnight when the star that heralded his birth was directly above his manger. In our country, we hold mass at midnight so that we can honour that birth, and the service is lit by candles. It is quite beautiful," Wanda explains.

"Are there churches here that do the same? I would like to some day see that."

"Yes. We will not go out tonight. It is too snowy. But next year, perhaps."

"And next year perhaps we will get to the temple for one of my holidays. This has been a year for staying home, though."

"I would say a year for folding inward towards family," Wanda says.

Magda nods, "I like that. Shall we see if the first star has come out?"

"Is the night clearing?"

"Yes. It promises to be very cold."

"The first star?"

Wanda gestures for him to follow to the kitchen, "Yes. In Sokovia, we fast during the days of Advent- the weeks leading up to Christmas. Many of us have ceased that tradition on all days but today. We cannot break bread until the first light in the east appears, a reminder of the Christmas star."

"I have read the Christmas story. It seems there are many traditions that elaborate on it."

"There are. And here in America, there are so many different ones kept. People have come here from all over the world and shared their traditions, blending them, creating new ones."

Magda points excitedly to the sky, "There! Do you see it?"

"Yes, I do!"

"To the table! We have a feast waiting after the oplatki!"

"The what?" They sit and Wanda brings a beautiful shallow bowl from the kitchen.

"Wanda will explain. There is a story here, woven in this Christmas Eve tradition, and she will tell it."

"This bowl has been in my family for generations. Like me, it should not have survived this long. But it did." She sets it on the table and Loki can see that there is a special section of the bowl that holds a glass dish filled with honey. In the main section of the bowl, short stalks of straw stick out from under an antique cotton handkerchief embroidered with a yellow star in the middle that reaches nearly to its edges. On it sits a round piece of flat bread, "First, the symbolism. Then I will tell you about the bowl and cloth. The oplatki bread is made just for this day. We will break it together and dip it in honey. This is for the sweetness of the gift. It rests on the cloth over straw, which stands for where Christ was born- in a manger. Now this bowl, made for this purpose only, belonged last to my grandmother. She kept it in a safe box at the bank. This is how it has survived. I did not know I had the key until I arrived in this country.

"You see, when we were children, Pietro and I had nightmares. Our mother gave us little trinkets to tuck under our pillows so we could clutch them close to our hearts when we were frightened. We kept this tradition even into our adult years, often tucking the little things she had last given us in our pockets. When we were pulled from the rubble of our home, I had my gradfather's little leather key wallet and Pietro had our great grandmother's handkerchief. We both had the rosaries we received at our first communion. HYDRA later took the rosaries, but they left us with these things, little incentives to behave, lest they take them away. And so when I landed here, I finally took a closer look at my gradndfather's keys. I realized that one was a bank box key. And so I claimed it, his only living relation. My grandmother had placed family heirlooms in the box. This bowl. Jewellery. Recipes. A quilt. The christening gowns worn by Pietro and I, which had also been worn by her children. And a little cloth bag containing scraps of wedding dresses. A connection to Sokovia I desperately needed at the time when I found the key. Magda and I have used this bowl every Christmas Eve we have been together."

"You were very fortunate it survived."

"Yes. And so tonight when we break this bread together, let us be grateful not only for the homes we have left, but for those which we are making right were we are."

Magda takes the bowl from Wanda and sets it in front of Loki, "It is tradition that the eldest amongst us break the bread. Usually, this is my task. But today, would you like to?"

"In what manner do I break it?"

"A piece for each." He breaks it in three pieces and they sit close, dipping the bread into the honey.

"And now it is Christmas Eve," Wanda says as she brushes crumbs from her fingers.

"Yes, and now we will feast! Twelve dishes, and they are all in the kitchen. Come, there are cabbage rolls and peirogi, fish, soups, and sweets. Let us bring it all to the table and we shall ring in the holiday with many good things."

Loki follows Magda out to the kitchen and she hands him a soup tureen. She follows balancing two trays and Wanda brings out a long platter of peirogi and cabbage rolls.

"Is yours the only country that rings in this holiday with such a feast?"

"No," Wanda says as she carefully sets the platter on the table and slides it back, "Many nations in our part of the world do. We are but one. Twelve dishes, one for each of the disciples of Christ. And it is not just Catholics who celebrate, but many who believe in no religion at all come together in this way on this night. We are celebrating our families, not just a religious holiday."

"And this is why it is of no consequence that Magda is of a different religion?"

"It is of no consequence because we do not let it be- in Sokovia, our religions live side by side. People intermarry and share their lives. So our traditions blend and we share them together. Even through the wars, the nation stopped for peace on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day." Magda shrugs, "I suppose in such a small country it was far to hard to believe the other was the enemy. Every Jewish family had Christians in it and every Christian family had Jews in it. Sharing traditions and living in peace meant keeping a family together."

"That seems quite unique to Sokovia."

"It is."

Wanda heaps his plate with a little bit of everything and pours him a bowl of pink soup, "Beets. Now, tradition holds that you must try a little of everything. And you will not regret it if you do."

Loki samples the vibrant broth and smiles, "No, I certainly will not. This is delicious."

After dinner, they clear the table, wash dishes, and go up to the attic for movies. They cuddle together on the pillows for children's Christmas specials and popcorn, hot chocolate with candy canes hooked over the edge of the mugs and fluffy blankets draped over their laps. One by one, they doze off. Magda first, then Loki, then Wanda. They wake up on Christmas morning to the softly looping menu music from "It's Christmastime, Charlie Brown!".

"Happy Christmas, Loki!" Magda bounces from her pillow and practically skips to the door, "Come! I will make latkes!"

Wanda crawls over to the television and turns it off, "She is far more excited about morning than I think I can be."

"And it is your holiday."

"Yes, but I like sleeping."

"What do you typically do on Christmas?"

"Unwrap gifts. And eat rich foods. And possibly sing carols or watch a holiday film. I used to go to mass. The past few years I have spent the day at home. I asked for Pietro to be allowed to come today, but I do not know who can bring him."

"I think I should go shower and change before breakfast."

"Yes, if you wish, this would be a good time. Latkes take a little while to cook."

He returns to his own home and showers, putting on his soft black wool tunic, a thick sweater, and flannel trousers. He retrieves a small basket from his guest bedroom and returns to Magda's.

The house smells of frying potato and onion- Loki is instantly hungry. Wanda is setting the table and Magda wanders from the dining room to the living room, excited by the tree she has placed in the corner, covered in lights and ornaments.

He hands her the basket, "For under the tree. Ralph told me this holiday is for exchanging gifts."

She sets the basket in an open space and hugs him, "You are sweet. And Ralph is good to have helped you. Did you invite him to Christmas?"

"Yes, but he has a brother he visits."

"And Alexi?"

"He is working. He says holiday pay is far too good to pass up."

"Is Thor here?"

"Not that I am aware of."

"And Jane has, no doubt, family of her own to celebrate with."

"I would assume so."

"We will have a delightful holiday together! Come, breakfast is nearly ready. It is a good snowy morning for latkes."


	50. Chapter 50

There are still latkes on the table when there comes a knock on the door. Wanda answers it and they hear her laughing loudly from the dining table. A few moments later, Wanda enters with her arm around her brother's shoulders, Natasha following behind.

"I invited Nat to spend some time with us today. Look who she brought!"

"Good morning, Pietro! And welcome, Natasha, to our Christmas Day! Please, sit. We have latkes."

"Mmmm, they smell amazing."

Loki stabs another one from the pile and plops it on his plate, "They taste it as well. I have tried them with sour cream, applesauce, and ketchup."

"Ketchup- the American response to all things potato," Natasha jests.

"Indeed. And quite tasty. But I prefer the sour cream."

He stands and pulls out a chair for her, "Please, join us."

Pietro settles beside his sister and Natasha accepts his invitation, "You guys really do just consider everybody you invite to your table family, don't you?"

"I am learning, but yes, Wanda and Magda do. I am continually amazed by the love in this house."

He passes her the latkes and she chooses one, drowning it in applesauce, "Me too. I've only been here a few times and you guys alway act like I'm supposed to be here. Even you."

"I have had good teachers."

"I'm still not sure I trust you."

"That is understandable. I haven't exactly proven myself trustworthy to you. But my life is so very different now than it was a few short years ago."

"Yeah, I get that. But I'm wary. I was raised to be. And to trust no one. But like you, I'm learning."

Pietro calls for Magda to pass him the sour cream and hot sauce, "I challenge you all to try this!"

Loki grins, "Oh, are we challenging one another to adventurous latke toppings? There is a jar of jalapeno mustard in Magda's refrigerator."

"Get it! I will try it."

Wanda set the ground rules, "A few rules, boys- nothing spoiled, and it must be food."

"Dear Sister, do you wish to spoil my fun?"

"No, but I know you far too well."

He laughs, "That you do! What else do we have?"

Magda returns with a jar of something red, "Curry paste. I dare you to slather your latke in red curry paste."

Natasha raises her fork, "Do you have Thai seasoning?"

"I don't think it is possible to eat that," Loki replies.

"Mix it with the sour cream. Or with the applesauce, that might be good."

"Magda?"

"It's in the spice rack."

Wanda brings it back with her along with the garam masala she has retrieved, "OK, so everybody make sure you have a glass of milk because you're going to need it to stop the burning from most of these."

Loki shakes his head at Natasha, "Can you actually eat that?"

"In moderation."

"What have I managed to get myself into?"

"Payback for that whole releasing the Hulk on a helicarrier thing." She grins, "That is, if you think you can handle it."

"You have to try it as well."

"Deal."

They start with the garam masala, then the mustard and the hot sauce. The curry paste is hot enough that Wanda bows out of the contest. Then they try the Thai seasoning.

"How much, Nat?" Wanda asks.

She takes a small amount on the tip of her applesauce spoon, "This. And you have to sprinkle it over whatever topping you have on the latke. And eat the whole thing."

Magda makes it two bites before she downs an entire glass of milk in a few seconds and, laughing, declares she can go no further. Pietro makes it halfway through his before he cannot continue. Loki and Natasha glance between their plates, neither willing to back down. Loki wonders if his lips will ever be the same. His eyes start to water. He takes a bite that has a little more of the spice on it than the others and he chokes, following it with milk. Natasha takes another bite.

"So...do you give up?"

"Yes. Oh my, yes. How do you do this?"

"Sour cream, very careful and even sprinkling, and years of practice."

"Why would you ever practice such a thing?"

"When you're a spy, they try to get you to talk in the craziest of ways."

"They fed you this?" Loki is shocked.

"Fancy dinners with competing spies can get interesting."

"I would say interesting might be an understatement."

"I also once held a guy's face over a vat of the stuff."

"Remind me never to get on your bad side. Again."

"Especially since you just showed me exactly where your tolerance for the stuff is."

"You _are_ good."

"Damn straight, I am."

After they clear the table, Magda brings out games. Natasha asks for Cards Against Humanity. Pietro does not know how to play, nor does Loki, but Magda is more than up for teaching them.

Loki stares at the card in the middle of the table, "There is nothing in my hand that will not make this absolutely terrible."

Natasha tosses her cards down, "That's the point. Make it as bad as you like. My goal's to see you blush every hand."

"And what if I do not?"

"Then I have to try harder."

"Will it be possible for me to make you blush?"

"If you do, you'll be the first."

He selects two cards, "I accept your challenge."

Wanda counts the cards on the table, "Who hasn't put theirs in?"

"Do not rush me, dear Sister, there are things at stake."

"What, exactly, is so important that you delay so long?"

"I want to see Natasha turn pink."

"In your dreams, Pietro."

"Ah, so you wish to appear in my dreams? I could arrange a daydream or so."

"Don't you dare."

"Hmmm, maybe I will later today."

"You can't handle your Thai spice, either, mister, so I'd be careful. No undressing me with your eyes, you cheeky bastard."

He clasps a hand over his heart, "Oh, you stab me so!"

"Just play your damn cards and stop flirting!" Wanda says, shoving him.

He tosses two on the table, "You musn't rush these things, Wanda!"

"I can rush whatever I want, I'm the one who gets to choose this hand." She turns over the first pair of cards in front of her and snorts, "Oh god, these are good." She turns over the other pair, her laughter increasing with each one. She tries to read them out loud and can't, so Magda calls each pair out. Loki manages not to blush, as does Natasha, but it only takes three hands for Magda to laugh so hard she cries and the hand after that, Loki turns beet red. When they break for lunch, no one has managed to make Natasha blush. They make sandwiches and return to the game. Magda brings out the wine. When they set their cards aside to make Christmas cookies, they are all a little tipsy, laughing freely. Some of the cookies are shaped fine, others look a little odd, and they frost every one of them before their decorating descends into a frosting fight. By the time Pietro and Natasha leave, Loki no longer has reservations about how he will fit in the same family as Wanda's brother. It is incredibly easy to play with him, to laugh with him, and to imagine mischief with him. And Natasha simply slipped into the family and became one of them, her sense of daring adding to the humour of the evening.

They sit in front of the tree on the floor and unwrap the gifts. Loki asks why they did not give Pietro his while he was here.

"Because while I can bring him things, he is not supposed to bring things back with him. So I will take them with me when I visit tomorrow."

"Ah, yes, you are not attending the Stark fundraiser for the refugee centre."

"He destroyed Sokovia, I feel no need to celebrate that he took the step to make it right."

"Wanda, darling, I understand. And so does Loki. But we hope you will forgive that we are going to go."

"I do not have a problem with it. I have chosen to visit Pietro instead."

Magda turns to Loki, "You will be my date, no?"

"Oh, yes. Of course!"

"See? I will be well watched over. You needn't worry someone trying to steal your wife from you."

Wanda laughs as Loki pats her arm, "I will be sure to fight the boys and girls back with whatever necessary. Perhaps I could use a chair."

She shoves him playfully, "You'd best keep them from carrying her off!"

"On my life, my lady, I will defend your beloved."

"I think I will be safe. Mr Stark is the most likely to attempt to flirt and after what I told him when we were looking for you, I do not think he would dare, no matter how dramatic my gown. I have proven myself fierce."

"He did mention you were quite blunt."

"That is one way to put it."

"And that you said you had no reason to trust him."

"Yes. I do remember that. It was a good response."

"Play nice at the fundraiser, dear Magda."

"I will charm and delight as I always have. Now. Presents. You have some here. And so does Loki. And so do I. So let us see what is in them!"

She distributes the gifts and they open them one by one. Loki is unused to this sort of gift giving. He has received things from his parents, yes, and tokens from interested women, but there are no holidays set aside for exchanging gifts in Asgard and they are rarely given between friends or without strings attached. He brought books for Magda and Wanda, both in Sokovian, as well as hair-kerchiefs woven in Sokovia that he stumbled on in a thrift store near the refugee centre.

When Magda sees the deep blue and gold of her kerchief, she pauses, "I know this fabric." She continues to unwrap it and holds it up to the light, "My god, Loki, where did you find such a thing?"

"A second hand shop. Is there something wrong?" He wonders if he has ignored some piece of etiquette unbeknownst to him.

"No, on the contrary. Something is very right that you could not have known."

"Oh?"

"This was my great grandmother's colour. She covered her hair with a kerchief so similar to this one and she wore a skirt that matched. The colour of a starry night nestled between the mountains." She folds it into a triangle and drapes it over her hair, tying the ends at the base of her skull. She shifts it back and pulls two of the bobby pins from her bangs and uses them to hold the kerchief in place, "A perfect piece of home."

Wanda opens hers, "It is red, like my wisps." She ties hers over her hair as well, "I need this. The Avengers seem to often act as though we are all from the same nation, especially when Thor is not with us. But I am not one of them. Nor is Natasha. And we do not all have the same stories. I will wear this often. Thank you, Loki." She hugs him.

"Open your others. Ralph helped me find them."

They open the books and neither says anything as they open the covers, gently stroking the lettering pressed into the thin leather and book board, "Loki...these are gorgeous. Do you know the titles?" Wanda asks.

"No. Ralph could only somewhat translate. He said yours was possibly about magical people- perhaps witch women? And Magda's is some sort of herbal."

"That is somewhat correct. Wanda's is about Sokovian Grandmothers- but the translation is inaccurate, as we have more to our words than this. Our grandmothers are said to obtain some sort of magic and wisdom as they age. A witch is not the right word. Perhaps it is, but in an older sense- a folk magic practitioner. Does such a thing make sense?"

"Yes. There are old women in Asgard who are considered the village mothers in the outer lands. They are healers, but also practitioners of other magic. They can touch Yggdrasil as I can...or could. And as my mother could."

Magda touches his arm, "You so rarely speak of her."

"I know. Ralph released me to once again claim her as my mother. And I am still getting used to this."

"Take your time. How did he convince you to call her 'mother' again?"

"He reminded me that you build family as it means something to you and I could do the same. She is dead and I am no longer in Asgard and constrained by the rules of that land. I can hold Odin at a distance while holding Frigga close."

"He is wise in this."

"Yes, he is." He takes a deep breath and slowly releases it, "So what is your book about?"

"Plants, yes. But it is no simple horticulture guide. It is a book of the old remedies. Things we used to heal ourselves and our communities long before modern medicine breached the mountains. Powerful medicine once practiced by the Grandmothers."

"So their magic was...or is? -in their use of plants."

"Yes. But more than that, if the stories are to be believed."

"Stories?"

"Yes. But I will not tell them until you open your gifts."

There are three for him under the tree. One is a larger box and seems dense. Another is clearly a book. And the third is small and light. He starts with the book. It is dark green and appears to be handmade.

"Read the title."

"'The Witchcraft and Folk Magic of Sokovia'. Did someone _make_ this book?"

"Yes. One of our fellow refugees. She wrote each of the few copies out by hand. It is how she preserves the lore of our dear homeland and how she copes with the horrific things she has experienced. She does not speak. She writes. And she binds the books herself."

"This is beautiful. And precious."

"Yes, it is. It is priceless. Which is why she gave it to me when I asked if we might give you one of her books."

"She gave it to you...for me?"

"Yes. I told her you thought you had once felt a connection to the Great Ash and you were seeking it again. While we name it something different, our culture is similar to yours in this. She wants others to believe in the truth of this as she does. And she hoped something in this book might help you find what you were missing."

"Thank you..." He stares at the book, almost afraid to open it. There are so many things he wonders about the nature of Sokovian Grandmothers. He wishes he could ask someone in Asgard if Midgardians could really reach out and touch Yggdrasil. If it is possible that he might regain this as he ages. But he knows he has no one to ask. This is not a question he thinks Thor would understand well enough to ask, and he knows one question would lead to a cascade of others.

"You do not have to read it now. Wait until you are ready."

He sets it aside and turns to the big box, "Shall I open another?"

"Of course," Wanda encourages, "This is why we have given them to you, yes?"

He tears through the paper and carefully opens the flaps on the box. He draws out the first garment. A long goldenrod tunic embroidered with swirls in a darker yellow, a curling sunburst around the neckline, the short split on the front of the tunic a long sunbeam. The second is sage, vines embroidered in emerald. Below it, a coral one with deep red floral embroidery. And last, a long denim blue dress or robe with elaborate Norse embroidery from the nape of the neck all the way down to the hem of the short train. The wide sleeves are bordered with the same stitching.

"These are stunning..."

"Erie made them for you. They should all drape nicely no matter if you are Lady or Lord. She sends her love."

"You have both gone above and beyond for me..."

"And you for us. But that is what family does, no?"

"Yes. I suppose it does."

"You have seen this. Thor has always sought you."

"So did Mother, just in a different way."

"And we are always here."

"You are both so much more than merely here."

Wanda hands him the small box, "You have one more."

"Your kindness and generosity still astounds me."

"Just open it."

He unwraps it to find a little cardboard box. He lifts the lid and something glitters. Puzzled, he pulls it out. A necklace. A disc, a coin, on a fine bronze chain that matches the aged metal. It is finely cut in the shape of an ash.

"Yggdrasil."

"Yes. On a very old Sokovian coin. You are one of us."

"Is there a story of its acquisition as there was for the others?"

"I made it. Mr Stark taught me to use his very fine little laser. It is one of the coins we no longer use in Sokovia. One I found in my grandmother's bank box."

He unclips the hasp and hangs it around his neck, "I don't know what to say. I am deeply moved, dear Sisters, by all of this. Your gifts are remarkable. I do not think I will ever forget my first Christmas."

Wanda hugs him first, but Magda joins her only seconds later, "Your gifts are deeply touching, too, my dearest Loki. Wanda and I will also always hold this day close to our hearts. It is a day of wonderful firsts."


	51. Chapter 51

The day after Christmas, Loki puts on his sharp black suit and tucks the Yggdrasil necklace under his shirt. The fundraiser for the refugee centre promises to be the most formal event he has attended in Midgard and he is nervous. Magda has assured him by text message that he will be fine, but he still fiddles with his tie and wavers as to which silk scarf he should wear. He decides on a black one with emerald panels on the ends and short silver fringe. He smooths the front of his vest before putting on his jacket and goes downstairs to wait for Magda.

He has been reading the book on Sokovian magic all day. It is fascinating and the techniques for meditation and gathering energy are things he would have never thought of. Some involve herbs, some involve little objects on which to focus, and yet others are words in a language he does not understand, but he is finding himself more and more determined to learn. He turns to his marked page and tries to concentrate on the neat, slanted script. His phone chimes. Magda. She is just leaving. He places the book on the table and grabs his keys and wallet.

Magda's long green coat, trimmed in synthetic green fur, obscures most of her dress but he can see black lace peaking out under the hem, brushing the top of her boots. She carries a pair of heels with her.

"Are you still nervous?"

"Yes."

"But you will know at least a few people. Not everyone will be a stranger to you."

"This is not the sort of event I have ever been to."

"You will learn. Trust me. I will not leave you to flounder."

"Mr Stark will be there."

"Yes."

"That alone is enough to make me uncomfortable."

They listen to classical music on the drive and Loki asks about the different instruments, describing the ones similar in Asgard. Magda promises to take him to a music shop so he can see what these things look like and how they are played. When they arrive at the centre, Loki can hardly believe how it has been transformed. There are rope lights in the windows, wreathes on every door, and there is a red carpet leading from the parking lot to the entrance. People mill around the door in elegant jackets. There are a few press crews present. Magda parks and as they leave the car, Loki looks as though he might flee.

She slips her arm in his, "Relax, my darling. You are a keen observer of those around you. You will be fine."

"A few short years ago I would have cared so little about such a thing as this. I would have strode in, full of confidence and strength."

"And where have you tucked those skills?"

"I believe I lost them when I landed naked in the desert."

She kisses his cheek, "Perhaps it is time to find them again? Here. A deep breath." She slowly inhales. He follows her lead, "And let it out. Slowly. And again. In...and out. In...and out. Now. You are Loki. You are witty. You are confident that you can step into a room of strangers and engage. And you are charming, so they will love you when you do."

"Right. So let's try this and see if your magic worked."

She pats his arm as he leads her toward the door, "Of course it did." He laughs and feels a little more free. Perhaps she is right. "Do you know how I overcame my own nerves about these gatherings?"

"No. How?"

"I told myself I was a goddess. That Tony Stark came here to serve me, to serve us, his refugee masters. That he and his ilk were here at our beck and call. Of course, as Wanda would say, they caused our plight, there is no need to celebrate them, but I see this differently. I am not celebrating them or their money. They are making offerings. And when I first told myself these things, and when I first decided I would act out of this sort of queenship at this fundraiser, everything changed. Donors no longer frightened me."

"The last time I told myself I was a god I tried to take over your planet. That might not be the best tactic for me."

"Then be my prince."

"No, I fear I am a prince no longer."

"Only in Asgard. Here, you are my little brother. Prince Loki of Magda-gard."

He can't help but laugh with her- the pun is clever and her gentle teasing puts him at ease as they cross onto the red carpet. A few cameras flash, some from the press, some from the donors themselves. They enter the building and she leads him to a temporary coatroom set up in a nearby classroom. He helps her with her coat and hangs it for her while she switches from her boots to her shoes.

Then he takes in her dress. The skirt swishes and pools on the floor when she crouches to buckle her shoe. The black under layer ends a few inches higher than the lace at the hem. The lace falls in wide bell cuffs over her hands ending just past the first knuckle. She pulls the midnight hair-kerchief from her coat pocket and she unfolds it, shaking it out before tying it around her head, pinning it to her hair.

"There. Now I am ready. You?"

"Yes. You are lovely, dear Sister. Absolutely lovely."

"Thank you. You are quite handsome yourself."

"Thank you."

"Now come. Let us go dance."

"Dance?"

"Yes, Prince Loki of Magda-gard. Dance. And drink champaign. And eat finger sweets. It will be lovely." She slips her arm in his once again and he escorts her to the cafeteria, which has been transformed into a ballroom with fancy tall tables mingled with leather couches and chairs around the edge. People stand at the high tables and chat while sipping champaign, others perch on the chairs. There is music just loud enough that Loki thinks conversation is a bit uncomfortable. A server brings them tall flutes and they sip while wandering through the crowds of beautiful dresses and sharp suits.

Tony Stark holds court in one corner and while Magda and Loki avoid that corner in their drifting, he spies them and breaks free from his audience, "Hey! How are you two this evening? Great party, isn't it? Your people did a fantastic job putting this all together. Never ceases to amaze me. You know, I go to at least a dozen of these things a year and this is one of the best run out of all of them."

"Shelly is a brilliant organizer. I will be sure to pass along your compliments."

"Please, do! She deserves a medal." He pauses, "Is Shelly a 'she' name or a 'he' name?"

"Both. But our Shelly is a young woman."

"Is she here somewhere?"

Magda checks the clock, "Ah, no, it is likely that she is in the kitchen making sure that the deserts are keeping up with the demand. She rarely leaves her station there this early in the evening."

"Wow. Dedicated gal."

"She always is, yes."

"So...look, I'm sorry I didn't update you more often on Wanda. I should have. Pepper made it pretty clear that I was being a dick."

"She is home. We will move forward. But your apology is appreciated."

"Thanks. You're a peach." He sees someone approaching from across the room, "Rhodey! Hey! You sure that suit's expensive enough for a swanky gig like this? I seem to recall I made you something a little more fancy." He turns back to Magda, "Hey, catch you later. Have fun, kids."

James laughs and shakes his hand, "You sure did, but the subway wasn't busy, so there was no need to fly in."

Magda takes the opportunity to slip away with Loki, "You see? I can be gracious even when I am seething."

"That was seething?"

"There is a reason I did not state that I accepted his apology."

"You do not forgive him."

"No. Not yet. I may never, entirely. But at the moment I can manage appreciation of an effort, even if I yet wish to place a boot where the sun cannot shine."

"Oh. OH. Yes, I do know that phrase."

She leads him to the dance floor and places his hand on her hip and rests hers on his shoulder, "This is how we dance more formally. The man is supposed to lead, but if you wish, I am very good at leading without it looking like I am leading."

"There are no fancy steps?"

"No. Unless you wish to learn to waltz, and I will then teach you when the music is right."

"Yes, I would like that. But I think I will lead."

"You are gaining confidence? My magic is working!"

He laughs and begins to step from side to side, little steps in time to the music, "Yes, Magda, your magic is working beautifully."

They only stay a few hours, but it is enough time for Loki to both learn the waltz and to lead Magda in a few twirls and spins in the process. When they leave, they are laughing and excited by the crisp night air and the bright moon overhead. By the time they reach their homes, they are so very tired. Loki leaves his suit in heap on the floor before dropping off to sleep.


	52. Chapter 52

The week between Christmas and New Year's Eve is relatively quiet. Loki works long hours at the bookstore to allow Ralph to travel. He sends his beloved black gown to Erie for alterations and keeps his fingers crossed that it will be ready for the New Year's Eve party at Stark's tower. Thor is excited about the party and has texted him three times by mid week to remind him when it is. When he is at home, Loki reads and starts sketching his garden for the next year. There are herbs he finds referenced in 'The Witchcraft and Folk Magic of Sokovia' that he has never heard of and he has no idea if will grow in the climate of New York City. But Magda has also started to translate her herbal for him, as well as the book on Sokovian Grandmothers that he gave Wanda. Both of these books, he realizes, will come in useful if he is to try to see if this form of magic is real. And Magda dearly loves translating the books for him, reading passages aloud, talking through the tricky idioms and describing things for which there are no direct translations.

Thor brings by his gift to Loki the day before New Year's Eve- it is something heavy, soft, and wrapped in a bundle of cloth that seems somewhat familiar to Loki, but he cannot quite place how. He hands Thor an old book, for all his gifts this year are books, and Thor opens it, reading the inscription.

"Loki, I know you think that our lives will lead us far apart, but I will not forget you. I will, as you ask, always hold this gift close, as well as its giver."

"You will try. But at the end of my life, will you be able to sit with me and to watch me fade? An old man while you are yet so young?"

"Will you want me to?"

"As jealous as I likely will be, yes."

"Then yes, I will. I have never denied your earnest requests."

"I know. Even when I wished you would."

"Thank you, for this. With your love of books, this means a great deal."

"I thought perhaps you would enjoy it. It is a play by one of their greats. William Shakespeare. The play is about a Danish prince and his folly in seeking revenge and how it destroys everything he knows."

"A tale you relate to?"

"Yes."

"Then I will pay close attention when I read it. And I will take notes so I can ask Jane about things I do not understand."

"You always have needed notes."

"Between us, you are by far the superior scholar. I fear, dear Brother, I have never had that particular gift."

"Despite my perpetual chiding, you are not stupid. I possibly should apologise for my many years of cruelty during our studies. I was never kind when you were behind me in our studies."

"No, you were not, but I still managed to stay the course."

"That does not make it right. So I am sorry, Thor, for this." Thor is surprised. He never expected Loki to apologize. Nor did he expect to hear the conviction in Loki's voice. In the few dreams of any sort of apology he has had, Loki has been far weaker, often beaten into submission, but more than not, on the verge of death. In this moment, he is neither. He is firm, honest, and Thor believes him.

"Thank you, Loki. I am honoured to accept your apology." Loki nods and there is a moment of awkward silence, "Would you like to open your gift?"

"Yes, thank you. It would save me from having to try to figure out what to say next." He unties the ribbon around the parcel and lays open the large piece of fabric on his dining table. Seeing it stretched out, though up-side down, triggers a memory. In it, he is quite small sitting at a dining table in his mother's chambers. There are pastries on the table, juice he has just spilled across the table and his cheeks burn with humiliation and anger. He waits for her reaction. But what he expects, what happened hours after he spilled his glass at his very first formal dinner with the court only a few days before, does not come. There is no yelling. Her hands, unlike his father's, do not gesture roughly towards what he did, or who he offended, and are never tossed in exasperation. She simply retrieves a towel and blots the spill. When she is done, she hugs him.

"Your father always acts as though the court and appearances are so important. Some day he will realise that you boys should always hold a far closer place in his heart."

He touches the tablecloth draped over his own table with reverence and then lifts the bundle of fur it had wrapped, "What is this?" Then he recognises it as well. A sleeved cloak that drapes elegantly to the floor, smooth fur black and warm lined in fine silk so soft that it seems to float against skin. He has worn it only once before when he sneaked into his mother's chambers to peer at her gorgeous gowns without her present, his first moment of curiosity as to what it would feel like to wear one.

He has never seen another garment quite like it. It does not seem like anything he has seen in Asgard, nor is it like his mother's other cloaks. She told him once that it was a peace offering.

"You are the only person in the family it would fit and I know you admired it the few times she wore it."

"This is the cloak from Jotunheim."

"There is more to that story than you know."

"Oh?"

"I did not know until recently just how she came to have it. Father gave me a note when I asked about bringing it here. He told me that if I were to give it to you, I must also give you the letter, or read it to you, however it is that I made certain you knew the story."

Loki sits, "Somehow I think I would be best here, rather than standing."

"Likely." Thor sits across from him, "But you recognise the cloth."

"Of course."

"Good."

"You are stalling."

"That I am." Thor takes the letter from his jacket pocket, "Would you like me to read it?"

"Yes. Otherwise I may never open it."

"You would. Your curiosity would not allow otherwise. But I will read."

He clears his throat, "To the All-Mother, Queen Frigga, Wife of Odin, Lady of Asgard. It was not long ago that our people were at war. I left a child in the most sacred space our people have and that child has been missing since the final days of our war. While his father believes that your warriors stole him for horrible purposes, I do not. To take something so precious from a temple to our gods only to destroy it in private would make little sense. So instead, I can only hope that the child I have held to my own breast for all of his short life is now resting against yours. Dear Lady, while our king, his father, would send an army after him, we no longer have one to send, and our land is desolate. There is nothing for him here, nor for us, and he would likely die in this place in the same way many of our infants have died. I have convinced him that we should leave him to you. May this cloak, an offering of peace between our people, allow you to stay warm as you bring him to this place one last time. I only wish to see him so that I might know he is safe and loved in your arms. Take care of him. And please, if you tell him the stories your people tell of us, do not tell him he is of our blood. They would only hurt him deeply." Thor looks up from the parchment and hands it to Loki, "And it is signed by your birth mother."

Loki's hands shake as he takes the note, "Did she?"

"Yes. One journey, wearing this cloak. I remember them leaving. They told me it was to bring security to the Nine after the war and that Mother had to take you since you were such a new baby."

"They let Odin keep me."

"Father says it was a great sacrifice for your mother, but yes, she did. She understood that a realm in ruins was no place to raise a child. And she was, herself, grievously wounded."

"Does she yet live?"

"No."

"But they loved me." Loki is deeply moved by this idea. He reads the letter over again as Thor responds, his fingers tracing the signature.

"Yes. As greatly or more than we do. And it only seems right that this cloak should come to you."

"I am surprised Odin allowed you to bring it."

"He has not washed his hands of you."

"He cast me out of Asgard. I do not think his interest in my fate runs very deep."

"Believe what you must, Loki. But he encouraged me to do what I thought would serve you best. I hope I was not mistake in my judgement."

Loki stands and drapes the cloak over his shoulders, looping the woven chords over the thick braided buttons on the other side to close it, "No, you did not. It is beautiful and it will keep me warm. Thank you."

"You look spectacular. You should wear it to the party at Anthony's tower."

"I think that I will. It will be stunning with my black gown."

Thor grins, "Oh my, that it will. Alexi will not be able to keep his hands off you."

Loki winks, "Dear Thor, that is precisely the point!"


	53. Chapter 53

On New Year's Eve, Magda meets Loki at work and takes him to retrieve his dress. Wanda is already at the tower, having had work with the Avengers during the week. Alexi will join them there. And so it is once again Magda and Loki on an adventure of their own.

On their way home from picking up the dress, Magda asks, "So...are you Lady Loki tonight?"

"No...just Loki. No Lady, no Lord, just a beautiful dress I will feel delightful wearing. I am starting to understand something, Magda. I do not have to be one or the other at all. I can spend most of my time between, both, or neither. This binary is restricting and it is a definition I no longer need."

"You have discovered what many people in our community have been saying for years. We simply are who we are. For some of us, that is within the binary of gender prescribed by this society, but for many of us, we are not a part of such a thing. We just are who we are. And that means some days we appear women, some days men, and some days a combination of whatever we wish, but we are always simply ourselves."

"It is rather freeing to find this place. To finally shed what I was taught were the proper roles of men and women in our own society while also rejecting them from yours."

"It is a liberation. Is Asgard as strictly gendered as this country can be?"

"In many ways, yes. I believe the gender roles are more fixed as well. Men are warriors, statesmen, leaders. Yes, we had a queen. She was an exception. As is Lady Sif. But most of the women of the court do little to make decisions. Here, it seems that while less common in some areas, women are able to participate in most areas of life."

"It seems we all seek to be what feels best to our hearts, whether in Asgard or here. And what roles we are assigned are guidelines we may break when we feel we must. I am proud of you, my dear brother. You are finding yourself and it is beautiful to watch you bloom."

Loki smiles and takes her hand, "Thank you. I am so grateful to you and Wanda for...for everything."

She parks the car and they part ways at the sidewalk, "Loki?"

"Yes?"

"You are always welcome, my love. And I will see you in a few minutes once we are both dressed. Then to New York."

"Yes, to New York. Are you excited?"

"Yes. A little. But at the same time, I am nervous. We made no friends the last time we made this journey."

"No, but we did right by Wanda. And I think it made a difference, somehow. At least in how they see this family."

"I think you are right. Now go get dressed."

Loki showers and stands naked in his bedroom, staring in the mirror, "I am what I am. I am Loki. And tonight, I will wear a bra and a gorgeous gown and call myself she. And I will dance with my beloved Alexi." She grins at herself and strikes a pose, admiring her profile, "Hmmm, and perhaps this dress will entice him into further adventures akin to the other night." She puts on her bra, nylons, and cinch and sits to brush hair with a light robe draped haphazardly over her shoulders. She braids her hair elaborately and does her makeup, emerald and gold eye shadow, dark crimson lips, and black eyeliner. The black dress slips down her body, the layers of skirts swishing against her legs and she adjusts the fluttering sleeves. Her Yggdrasil necklace rests beautifully against her pale skin right in the downward plunge of the neckline. She slips on low heeled pumps and pins a spray of feathers in her hair before adding lace fingerless gloves. Standing in front of the mirror, she stares, "I look damn fine tonight," she says, grinning, before checking the time and gathering her things. She drapes the black cloak over her shoulders and meets Magda at the car.

"That cloak is utterly stunning!"

"Thor's Christmas gift. It was my mother's. Both mothers, actually."

"You can tell me the story on the drive. I do not wish to be late."

And she does, exactly as Thor told her, "And I have since framed the note. It is a very fine parchment. I did not want it do deteriorate."

"You ought to write all this down, at least for yourself. Even if you never do anything with it, there ought to be some record of the fascinating life that was Loki's after you move on."

"And who, though, would read it after my death?"

"Your brother. All those who love you now who outlive you. And possibly even Odin."

"That is not a motivation to write a book."

"Why not? If you are dead, he cannot argue with the page."

"Very true. But still, I do not know if this is a worthy endeavour. I will think on it, though."

"Yes, yes you will."

They drive on, talking of lighter things- how the bookshop is running, and when Ralph is set to retire, how much money the fundraiser for the refuge centre raised, and what gifts have been donated to the Safe Haven for the holidays. When they arrive at the tower, Magda parks next to the little red Trabant in the same space she did on their last trip.

Steve meets them at the door, "It sure is nice to be welcoming you folks here for something that's not a disaster. At least I hope it won't be. I've heard stories about what Tony's parties were like before he was Iron Man." He offers Magda his arm and then, seeing how Loki is dressed, offers her his other.

In the elevator on the way up, he turns to Loki, "I'm still not used to this, but I'm trying. We all are, even Tony. We're just contending with a lot more than just you wearing dresses and being a woman. You tried to kill us. We don't just get over that."

"Well technically, I only tried to rule your planet. The fight was never personal. You just happened to be in my way."

"It kind of got personal after you killed Coulson. And that whole Hulk bit."

"True. It was not personal to _me_ , as I did not see you as people. But that does not mean it was not personal."

"I hope you see us as people now, or else this party's going to be mighty awkward."

"Of course. How could I have lived all this time amongst you all and still not?"

"So are you sorry for it?"

Loki stops and thinks for a moment, "Yes. I suppose I am. Though please do not make me say so publicly tonight. I do not think I could do it without embarrassment."

He nods, "Sure. But it's good to know. Can I tell them later?"

"Yes. Just not tonight."

The doors slide open as Steve says, "Deal."


	54. Chapter 54

Steve escorts Loki and Magda into a party in full swing. There are people they recognise there, but also those neither do. Older men. The members of Phil Coulson's team who were on the ground to rescue Wanda. A red haired woman laughing on Tony's arm. The hacker named Skye dancing with a drink in her hand, a circle of others around her. A woman with long dark hair at the bar talking to Clint.

Wanda throws her arms open and calls to them as she walks toward the elevator, "You made it, my loves!"

Pietro follows her, "And you are both absolutely lovely this fine evening! Come, and with no hurry, I assure you- we must take time to enjoy this party!"

Everyone embraces and there are kisses on cheeks and hugs, even for Steve, "Thank you for bringing them up."

"It was my pleasure. If you'll excuse me, Bruce is hovering alone by the bar and I want to check on him."

Pietro offers Loki his arm, "Sister today, is it?"

"Yes, I would be delighted."

"Then come, while you wait for your date. Shall we dance?"

"I am not the best follow."

"Then we will do well together, for I am a fairly bad lead."

"Oh dear. This could be interesting."

"That is one way to put it."

"May I ask why you are dancing with me when you barely know me?"

"My sister and her wife have adopted you. That is reason enough."

"You are as open hearted as they are?"

"Mostly. I trust far less easily. But this is good. There is nothing here that can harm any of us. And so we will dance, all of us together, and we will drink, except for those of us strictly prohibited from it, those bastards, and we will make merry."

"Prohibited?"

"Yes. They fear something will happen when I am drunk. But I am in a room of superheroes! What could I do? Mr Stark would beat me senseless in an instant. If there is any place I ought to take that risk, it is here!"

"That seems like sound logic."

"Ah, but they do not want me ruining their party by accident. But I could dare you to try something, no?"

"Alexi should be here soon. I would like to be sober when he arrives."

"Ah, yes. You have a boyfriend. I had forgotten. Forgive this."

"Of course."

"Good, good. Now, dancing! This song is lively!"

Thor bounds over with Jane behind, "You made it, dear Sister!"

"I did."

"And where is Alexi?"

"He should be here soon. He said he would meet us here."

"Then I hope we see him soon, for we are a cheerful band and the bar is open! I wish you still had our constitution so that you might sample all of Midgard's liquor this night- it is an adventure in itself!"

"You have tried this?"

"Heartily! Anthony wished to know if I would fall drunk were I to drink one of everything at one of our previous parties."

"Oh?"

"The answer is no. He took the same challenge and passed out long before I even felt it. Never enter into a drinking contest with one of Asgard, for it will not end well. But forgive me, I interrupt. We will dance beside you."

They do for a few songs, and then Jane insists on switching to dance with Loki. Pietro and Thor abandon dancing to seek out the bar. Phil steps between Pietro and it. Thor assures him he will give no alcohol to his guest. Phil steps to one side and warns Thor not to try anything.

Jane is teaching Loki how to dance to Skid Row when Skye approaches, "Hey. Can I join you?"

Loki wants to say no, but instead she remembers that she is the prince of Magda-gard and smiles, "Of course."

"Wow. From what I've heard, I expected you'd shoot me down."

"Would the rumours be literal or figurative?"

"Maybe both."

"Ah."

"Look, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for the way we were playing when you came for Wanda. I really was working- I was waiting for the computer. But it looked really bad."

"Thank you."

"So...we good?" She extends her hand.

Loki shakes it, "Certainly."

"So what's with the dress?"

"I am gender fluid."

"Oh. Cool. Is that something you started here or did back in Asgard, too?"

"Asgard as well."

Another young woman bounces up to Jane, "Hi! Oh my god, can you believe it- I'm at a Tony Stark party with the Avengers!"

Jane rolls her eyes, shaking her head, but still smiling, "Yeah, you've said that at least half a dozen times so far."

"Well I just can't believe it. Me! Avengers! Super. Heroes. And me!"

"You're on a first-name...well, only name, basis with Thor. And you helped fight Malekith. That kind of makes you one of us."

"No no no...you're the girlfriend. I'm your geeky intern. Not even a sidekick. This. Is. So. COOL!"

Loki interrupts, "Excuse me, you assisted in defeating Malekith?"

"Yeah. Sort of. I had these science sticks and I have no idea what happened, but there were portals everywhere. I have no idea where we sent that giant ship thing or all his limbs."

"Thor has not told me this story. But if you were part of the team that defeated the creatures that killed our mother, you are a hero indeed, at least to me."

She blushes and Jane makes introductions, "Loki, this is Darcy. She's my intern. Or she was. That internship's long ended. Now we just play with science."

Darcy waves, "Hi."

"Darcy, this is Thor's sibling, Loki."

"I like how you use sibling. So what's with the dress?"

"Loki is a she tonight. Sometimes Loki's a he. And we just go with it."

"Oh. OK. Whatever floats your boat."

Skye offers Darcy a hand, "And I'm Skye. I'm with Coulson's team."

"Got it. Super spies."

"Well, sort of. I'm the resident hacker."

"Cool. I met your geeky science boy. He's got some issues, but he's cute."

"He was dropped from a plane in an escape pod into the ocean with only one oxygen cannister. He gave that to Simmons. It's a wonder he's alive. You'll have to just get used to the awkward."

"Damn. You people live scary lives. I think I'm glad I'm not a super genius recruited by SHIELD."

"It gets pretty intense. How about you- are you an agent?" she asks Jane.

"Nope. Just the astrophysicist girlfriend of a guy from space."

"Now there's a crazy bit of happenstance right there for you."

"Yep. Fell out of the sky. She hit him with a truck."

Loki can't help but laugh at Darcy's description of their meeting; Jane winks at her, "Well from what Thor tells me, it's this one who started the whole thing that landed Thor on Earth. I should be thanking you for whatever you did."

Skye raises her drink, "Want to tell us the story, Loki?"

"Not particularly. I am surprised, though, that Thor has not told it himself."

"I don't know. Thor talks about you, but there's some stuff he doesn't like to say. Things like what you did that got him banished here. So like a good girlfriend, I give him a little space about that."

"Ah. Yes."

Skye nods, "Yeah, there was a guy on our team who had some family trauma he wasn't too keen on sharing. That didn't end well. I'm glad you're on speaking terms, at least. Ward...well, he wasn't. And I think the whole family was just super fucked up."

"Well I make no claims that my family is not, but at least we are done fighting one another."

"Good. I hope it stays that way."

"As do I. My life is the better for it."

"And given that when you fought here, you destroyed part of a major city, I'm pretty sure we're the better for it, too," Darcy adds.

"We were rather intense."

"That's one way to put it." She rolls her eyes.

Loki laughs, "Yes, I suppose I have a gift for understatement."

Thor comes back over with drinks and hands one to Jane, one to Loki, and keeps one for himself, "Had I known you had other guests, I would have brought you something as well! Pietro has gone back to Wanda. Shall we drink to our ever expanding family?"

Jane raises her glass, "Yes! To family!" They toast, they laugh, and then they wander the party, Thor with Loki on one side, Jane on the other. Darcy drifts over to the group of old veterans and plops down in the middle of their conversation to listen to the stories they tell, stories that are getting a little more raucous and raunchy as they drink. Magda is engaged in a lively conversation with Natasha, Bruce, and Steve, while Wanda and Pietro sit with the awkward young scientist named Fitz. He is interested in their stories of HYDRA and they, for once, do not feel too odd talking about what was done to them. His questions are intelligent, earnest, and even when prying, from a place seeking to understand. It is new for the Maximoff twins to speak to someone who can translate their descriptions of the technology they saw and that ws used on them. It is even more exciting to them that he can name it..

An hour into the party and Alexi still has not arrived. Loki sits in one of the large armchairs and takes out her phone. No messages. She types a quick note asking if everything is alright. Tony plops into the chair to her left.

"So I'm horribly insensitive and generally unable to have much empathy for people not me...or at least that's what Pepper says. But even I can tell you're not enjoying yourself over here. What's up? Nothing to your liking at the bar? Not into the music? What?"

"None of those, actually. Your party is lovely and the company enjoyable. But I was supposed to meet a guest here and he has not yet arrived, nor has he said why he has not."

"Eh, I wouldn't worry too much yet. It's New Year's Eve in New York. Nobody's getting anywhere if the don't leave at least a couple hours early."

"While I appreciate your reassurance, I fear something is amiss." Her phone buzzes, "Excuse me."

 _"Not going to be there tonight, sorry."_

She stares at the screen and tries to figure out how to reply, "Bad news?"

"Alexi will not be joining us."

"Oh. Damn. Sorry to hear that."

"He gives no reason."

"Uh...then ask him?"

Loki types, _"Are you unwell or is there another reason?"_

 _"I'm fine."_

 _"I'm sorry, but I do not understand. Did I do something to offend?"_

 _"No. But I don't want to text about this. Talk later. Going to bed."_

"He still will not say. I only know that he is not unwell."

"You looked like someone kicked your puppy. You were really looking forward to this, weren't you?"

"Yes. It makes me happy to come out dancing with my dearest. And I was hoping to celebrate my first New Year's Even in this realm in such a way."

"I'm sure you'll be fine. New Year's Eve'll happen again next year."

But Loki's mind is racing downward, his thoughts sad and dark, "Thank you, but I do not share your confidence."

"Why not?"

"Because it is all-together possible that I am more in love with Alexi than he is with me. I have not heard the words I so greatly wish to." He rises, "If you will excuse me, Mr Stark." He briefly bows his head and leaves.

Tony stares after him, "Well damn."


	55. Chapter 55

When Wanda sees Loki coming, she knows something is wrong. Loki's eyes are cast down and her phone is in her hand instead of in her clutch. Wanda steps away from Pietro and Fitz, concerned.

"What is wrong? Did Tony say something to upset you?"

"No. But Alexi did." She shows her the phone.

Wanda sighs, "Oh, Loki. I'm so sorry. Are you OK?"

"No. I think I would like to go home, or, at the least, retire somewhere quiet."

Magda makes her way across the room, "What has happened?"

"Loki would like to go home. Alexi is not planning on attending and she does not feel up to staying."

Magda embraces Loki, "Oh, my darling, I am so sorry to hear this."

Loki buries her face in Magda's shoulder for a moment, "Thank you. I think I need time to think. And for quiet."

"I can drive her home. I will return for midnight."

Magda shakes her head, "Do not worry yourself over such things. You take care of our dear Loki. And when she sleeps, call so we might figure out how to finish off our night. But we will not leave her until she is at peace."

"Thank you, my Sisters, but you do not need to let me ruin your night."

Wanda places both hands on Loki's shoulders, "No. We will take care of _you_ first. And if that means you wish to go home, I will take you home."

Her head droops and she sighs, "Yes, I would appreciate that very greatly. Please take me home."

Pietro retrieves their coats and cloaks, "Drive safely. The roads are bound to be interesting."

"I will."

He hugs Wanda, "You are a wonderful sister, do you know this? Even to our newest family member."

"I feel badly leaving you. We do not get enough time together."

"That is true. But I will be happy knowing you are taking care of one of our own. Now go. Take care of her well."

"Thank you. I will do my best."

They ride the elevator in silence. Loki says nothing until they are on the road, staring at her phone as Wanda creeps down busy streets away from the city centre.

"What did I do wrong, Wanda?"

"Nothing, Loki. You did nothing wrong. Alexi likely does not feel comfortable in a room full of people who are celebrities to most of the world. Superheroes. To you, we are just people. But to him...perhaps we are still too intimidating."

"But he knows you, and he was not uncomfortable at Thanksgiving when there were other Avengers present. Or Thor, who is over a millenium old and comes from a land of real magic and advanced science. Why now?"

"I cannot tell you, Loki. But perhaps you should call him in the morning."

"I am afraid to hear what he might say."

"I do not know what to tell you. But you will need to speak to him at some point."

Loki does not answer and says nothing at all until she is in her own home, "I am going to go change out of the dress. Please, can you stay a few moments?"

"Yes. As long as you need me."

"Thank you." She goes upstairs, sheds her dress and carefully hangs it back in the closet, and washes off her makeup. She stands naked in front of the mirror for a moment, defeated, her shoulders slumped, "What went wrong?" She puts on her soft knits and returns to the living room. Wanda is sitting on the couch. Loki points to the corner beside it where there are now pillows and a beanbag. She wedges herself in the corner and Wanda nestles beside her- Loki rests her head on her shoulder and Wanda wraps her arms around her.

"Calm your thoughts, Loki. I know they are spinning and they will lead you to dark places."

"It is too late, they already have."

"Oh, Loki, darling... I wish I could still them and bring you a little peace."

"I will have none if I lose Alexi."

"That is one of your deepest fears."

"Yes. I am so lucky to have found him. I cannot destroy this."

"I do not think you have. You must not think the worst. It is likely that Alexi does not know how much this night meant to you."

"I told him I would be wearing the black gown."

"Does he realise just how much that dress means to you? No one but Thor and I saw you hold it so lovingly when he brought you the trunk. And while Magda and Erie have since come to know how much these garments mean to you...there was something about your face when I saw you holding the dress against your body. Something I think cannot be conveyed in words." Light, warm tears drop against her skin and she realizes Loki is crying. She strokes her hair and kisses the side of her head, "Your brilliance lies in your quick wit and your vivid imagination. But it also is why you feel everything so deeply and imagine the worst."

"Some days, I hate it. I could have figured out how to deal with the consequences of my actions during Thor's coronation and our later ride into Jotunheim had I not discovered I was one of them. When that happened...when Odin told me...it was over. Everything was over."

"I am so sorry. You have been through so much these past few years."

"But it was all my own fault. And tonight I wore a coat that was a gift from my birth mother to my mother so she could bring me to see her one last time. A gift out of deep love and loss. I feel as though I have thrown that all away now that I am neither of Asgard or Jotunheim."

"On the contrary, my dear. You have the blessed opportunity to honour them both by no longer having to choose between them. You simply are what you are. And you can bloom, no longer torn by who you should be. I think they would both be proud of what you have discovered about yourself over the time you have had with Magda and I."

"Thank you, Wanda. I had not considered that."

"That is because it has still been such a short time that you have been here. You are still finding your feet."

"Until tonight, I thought I had them found."

"To be entirely honest, none of us ever truly finds them. We are stumbling through life from the day we are born until the day we shuffle off this world for whatever comes next, if anything. I think the most enlightened people are those who discover this and are comfortable with always seeking themselves, continually in wonder of what they find."

Loki sits up and wipes her eyes with her sleeve. Wanda stops her and brushes her tears with a handkerchief. Loki smiles and catches her hand as she lowers it.

"You are so deeply wise, my dearest Wanda. I am so incredibly lucky I was allowed to stay in Mr Stark's tower when Thor found me in the desert."

"You should know that Magda and I also consider ourselves incredibly lucky to have you in our lives."

"Did I ever thank you for sitting beside me that first night? For stopping me and keeping me from bleeding to death? For staying beside me as much as you did? And for opening your heart so easily to all I was going through? For your patience? Your kindness?"

"No, I do not think you have. But you do not need to. I do not feel like a hero for that- it is just what I needed to do."

"No. It was far more than that." She hugs Wanda tightly, "With every inch of my being, I am grateful. I owe you this life I have. For the chances I have had to reinvent myself and the time to grieve and move forward. I am loved. And this time, I know enough to recognise it."

Wanda rests her palm against her cheek, "Will you be alright tonight? I will not come here in the morning to find that you have hurt or killed yourself?"

"I promise you, I will do no such thing. And in the morning, I will call Alexi. But I am weary. I think I ought to get some sleep."

They stand and embrace once again, "Goodnight, Loki. Would you like me to tuck you in?"

Loki smiles, a little embarrassed by how dearly she wants this childish thing, but so relieved that it has been offered, "Please, yes."

She kisses her cheek, "Come, let us get you up to bed, then."

Loki slips beneath the covers and Wanda tucks the blankets around her, kisses her forehead, and whispers, "Goodnight, my Loki. Rest. And if you wake and need me, do not hesitate to call."

"Thank you, dear Sister. I will. Goodnight."

Standing at the door, Wanda turns back before switching out the light. Loki is already asleep. She clicks the light off and locks the house. She calls Magda to let her know she is on the way back to the tower once she is on the road.


	56. Chapter 56

There is a message on Loki's phone when she wakes.

 _"Hey. I'm sorry about last night. I got some news from Sokovia that wasn't so good. Breakfast?"_

Loki texts back, _"Yes. But we will need to talk. Here or your apartment?"_

 _"Out. I'll pick you up. There's a great little diner not far from you."_

She gets out of bed and dresses in the coral tunic from Erie and black trousers after a quick shower. After plaiting her hair, she is trying to figure out if she wants to wear makeup when Alexi knocks on her door. She grabs her socks and a sweater and goes downstairs to answer.

"Come in, please."

"Sure. So do you want to talk before breakfast or after?"

"Before. Here. So it is not so public."

"Oh. OK. So...what's up?"

"I was deeply hurt last night."

"I said I was sorry."

"I know. And I accept. But Wanda told me that perhaps you did not know how much it meant to me- and not even the event, but the fact that I was wearing my beloved black gown."

"Oh."

"The dress has been a dramatic favourite for many years. One of the gowns from Asgard. And one that I was afraid to even have altered to fit, as I was not certain if a Midgardian seamstress could do it justice. Erie proved herself with the emerald gown, so I entrusted my beloved black dress to her."

"So...when you told me you were wearing the black dress, that wasn't just a 'I'm going to be super hot tonight' hint."

"Correct. And I fear I left that unsaid. You could not have known."

"Ah. Yeah. You did."

"I will do better in the future to communicate when something is important."

"You know, I thought you wanted to talk because you were pissed at me."

"Hurt and angry are very different things, though one can often fuel the other."

"Yeah. You've made that clear. Like, by trying to destroy an entire world."

"Indeed. That was not a rational response."

"No, the scary thing is that your reasoning behind destroying the entire race of Frost Giants is pretty sound. But never do that again, OK?"

"I have already said that I never plan on doing so."

"OK. Cool. You handled things last night without killing anybody?"

"Indeed. I had Wanda bring me home. We talked. And I went to bed. And here we are. Do you wish to tell me of the news that kept you home from the party?"

"Sokovia's been pretty unstable since the whole Ultron thing. I guess there's some kind of war going on. Rumour is that Russia's backing one side and the US is backing the other. And nobody can prove it. People are thinking the two countries are going to have a rematch of the Cold War over Sokovian soil and we're going to be the ones dead for it."

"I am so sorry. I wonder if Magda and Wanda know."

"They will soon if they don't already. I was getting texts all night. Everybody's trying to figure out what's going on and if they might want to go back and fight."

"Ah." Loki does not want to ask if he is thinking about returning. She knows she will have to ask this eventually, but she dreads the answer, so she says nothing.

"Look, I can see you want to ask. But no. Sokovia's military doesn't let women in. And since I still have lady bits, they wouldn't let me fight even if I wanted to." Loki is visibly relieved, "So do you want to go get some breakfast? This place makes a killer Belgian waffle. So much stuff piled on it, it's like an Olympus of fruit and real whipped cream."

"Good enough it is fit for the gods?"

"Yeah. It's that awesome."

"Mmmm, I think you have tempted me into leaving the house on this very cold day."

"Get your jacket, babe. We've got a date with waffles of destiny."

Loki tosses her jacket on and pulls on her socks and shoes before stopping Alexi at the door and kissing him lightly on the lips, "Are we alright?"

"Yeah. I think so."

She smiles and takes his hand, "Thank goodness."


	57. Chapter 57

Magda and Wanda monitor the situation in Sokovia on the news channels accessible through the internet and through the network of sources available through SHIELD. Natasha taps some of her contacts for additional information. The situation does not look good. It is also very clear from the news on the ground that this is a war Sokovia itself cannot win so long as the other nations backing each side continue to treat it like their own.

Magda comes home from the refugee centre exhausted every day. She is so tired of moderating fights. Sokovian refugees previously helping one another are taking sides in a conflict that has been so heavily manipulated that the nation itself is unlikely to survive after. Wanda starts going with her to help.

Shelly cannot understand what is happening and often expresses this when they are away from the centre's clients, "My god, what the actual fuck is going on? We've dealt with people on opposite sides of war before, but this is just getting ridiculous! Why are they even fighting? I don't get this."

They are sitting in Magda's office waiting for her to return from the cafeteria where a fistfight had required police intervention, "Do you really want to know more of what this is about?"

"I've been following the news, but I don't get it. Two different government systems? That's all? Have a damn election and figure it out."

"It is far worse. I have been using SHIELD resources for news from the ground. Sokovia had managed to piece together a democratic socialism and was surviving the best it had in years. But the incident with Ultron destabilized what was left of the nation. With our single biggest city destroyed, many felt that they should use it as an opportunity for a revolution. Those unhappy sought out supporters to become a more communist nation. They looked for help from Russia. Tensions built as the elections approached. And those in power saw this threat and dismissed it until the communists hijacked the supply trains bringing food across the mountains and held it hostage with the demands that the country turn to communism so all could be shared equally lest they all starve equally. There was a story told that this was to bring attention to the plight of all those left homeless and hungry after Ultron, a symbol, they said, of the overbearing West, destroyed a nation that never did any harm to anyone. The government took what little military they had and sought out the communists. The resulting fight left many dead and the communists won. They declared war against the government, but they did distribute food as they had promised. People took sides as the communists began to demand control of the government. The people elected the democratic socialists, but not by a large margin. And then the communists started a riot. Quelling it was impossible and when the few soldiers remaining could do nothing but flee the bullets of their neighbours in the crowds, the other side took up arms to defend them and to defend the Sokovia they had built from the ashes of the last war. And now, you see, it is a war for the soul of a nation. The United States is supplying the democratic socialists, hoping to sway them after they win. And Russia is backing the communists. It is a terrible situation and we will watch our home burn again for this."

"Wait. My tax dollars are going towards a war making your country implode?"

"It appears so, yes."

"Fucking hell."

"There is no way my country can win this and regain itself. We will owe too much to whichever powerful nation wins. And we will once again be a puppet, the same as we were when we were under the thumb of the Soviet Union and Mr Stark's bombs were raining down on our heads."

"I hate war."

"As do I, dear Shelly," Magda says as she enters and closes the door behind her, "I have told the officers to stay close today. Tensions are high. And while the first fight is over, there will, no doubt, be others."

"How are we going to survive this? We've never had cops at the centre before. It's one thing we've been good at. We're able to handle our shit without needing them."

"I understand this. But we usually serve the people who have fled war, who do not wish to keep fighting it. And Sokovia has called for those willing to fight to return."

Wanda sighs, "And there are those who are considering it in our midst. People who are looking to return to defend whichever version of Sokovia they most believe in. They are bringing the war through our doors."

"That shit's got to stop."

"I understand, but how do we go about this?" Magda asks, "I have done what I think I can, but this is a powder keg waiting to explode and we are sitting on it."

The phone on her desk rings and she picks it up, "Yes? I will come, yes." She hangs up, "We have another situation that is escalating. I need all hands."

Wanda and Shelly follow her out, "So do we get a briefing before we get there, boss?"

"There is a standoff in the teen program. The boys are getting out of hand. Yelling. Shoving. And many things being said in Sokovian that Miriam does not understand."

"Gotcha."

"Do you think this is going to be difficult to defuse?" Wanda asks.

"Very. If we are not already too late."

They can hear the commotion from down the hallway as the approach the teen lounge. Shouting. Cursing. Magda speeds up. She has a feeling she is going to walk into a war zone, the fight for Sokovia erupting in her own centre. She flings open the door and cannot fathom what she sees. Desks and chairs have been shoved aside in heaps. There are fights breaking out across the room. Blood smears the floor from minor injuries- broken noses, fractured teeth.

Miriam runs over to her, "It happened so fast! There are so many Sokovian children in our program and they all had sides before they walked in the door. One fight became many so very quickly. And I do not understand what they say. I am from Ghana, this is not a language I speak."

"I understand. Wanda. Shelly. Come close. There are four of us and there are supposed to be twenty students here-"

"Others came when their friends texted."

"Yes, more. I do not want to call the police in to arrest these children."

Someone screams. Fights around the room slow and stop as the screaming continues and the teens crowd toward the source of the distress.

"Shelly. Lock the door. Let no one who is not a paramedic or police officer enter."

Magda shoves her way through the crowd, Wanda, and Miriam following. The kids move when she commands them to move in Sokovian. When she reaches the centre, there is a girl standing over one of the young men. She is sobbing and screaming. He has a broken bottle sticking from his stomach.

Magda drops to her knees, "Miriam, call for an ambulance."

Wanda joins her and checks for a pulse, "He is alive, but barely."

"Can you stabilize him?"

"No. Stomach wounds are difficult, and especially with such a ragged edge. I dare not even move him."

"Take the girl aside." Wanda does as asked. Magda strokes the boy's cheek and speaks to him in his native language, "Hold on, child. You are not going to die for this." She looks at the group around her, "Do you like what you see? Is this what you wish upon one another? Because this war, this bloody, brutal war...it is this. And it is so much worse. You fight as if you want this. As if denying what the majority in your country elected is worth death. You are so young. You have not seen what life was like when bombs rained on our nation. You never had to unearth your loved ones from rubble with your own hands. You never had to lift a building, brick by brick, from your family. You never had to crawl from under one yourself. And you have never buried so many of your kin in a single year. I have. I have dug their graves. You are children, for god's sake! And yet you wish to kill one another! We have all failed you if you believe this is what Sokovia needs."

The paramedics are allowed in the room, followed by a dozen police officers. Shelly stands guard. Magda rises as the paramedics take over.

"Every one of you. Sit. Along the edge of the room. And do not speak to one another. Do not speak to me unless I demand an answer from you. Do not try to excuse yourselves. You all ought to be ashamed of this. You have destroyed this place, this refuge. You have brought your war into a sanctuary. I will call your parents and you _will_ cooperate with the police- this is not something I ask. This is a demand, an order. I will _not_ have bloodshed in this place."

She goes to Miriam, Wanda following, "We will divide this task. Make a list of who is here. Call parents. They will check themselves in at the door. They will not leave until the police have taken statements. And we will sit here and make sure this happens as it should."

"What are we going to do to make sure we do not see it happen again tomorrow?" Wanda asks.

Magda sighs, "There is only one thing to do. We will close the centre until further notice."

There are tears in Miriam's eyes, "I hate to admit this, but I think you are wise to consider this our only option. We cannot have children killing each other."

Wanda retrieves clipboards from the cabinet, "We will announce this to their parents as they enter. But we will also allow them back when we reopen. If anything, they will need more of our support when they return. But now, we have work to do."

They make their lists, they call parents, and they translate when needed; Magda returns to her office after the paramedics and police have left and turns on the intercom, "Good afternoon. I have bad news to share. There has been a large fight in our teenage lounge that has resulted in the hospitalization of on of our youth. Another young person stabbed him in the stomach with a broken bottle. I do not know if he will survive and it is certain that he has extensive surgeries ahead of him if he does. I am incredibly saddened by this. And as the war in Sokovia has breached our walls, I deeply regret to tell you that we must close this centre until further notice. We cannot serve you while policing fights and calling the authorities because you cannot leave this at the door. So after we close this evening, you will not see us here for a while. A few days, perhaps, or a few weeks. I do not know. But I cannot have children trying to kill another on my watch. And if there are those of you who think their fight is justified, I am ashamed of you and I hope you rethink this as a boy struggles not to bleed to death in an ambulance with a broken bottle sticking from his stomach."

She clicks the intercom off and drops her head into her hands. A few hours later, she meets with the rest of the staff. No one argues with her decision. They are all sad, but they promise to come back to work. Magda assures them they will still be paid, even if it cannot be at their full rate. And then she asks for help cleaning up the teen lounge and they all walk with her to the room she is starting to call a crime scene. They stare at the mess, the blood, the chairs lined up haphazardly where the kids had dragged them while the police interviewed them, the desks still overturned. No one can think of what to say, so they instead go to the cupboard of cleaning supplies and get to work in silence.


	58. Chapter 58

On the first day of February, Magda meets with her staff once again. The war in Sokovia is still going strong, but there are also many new refugees fleeing the country and they are starting to arrive in New York. They reopen the centre the next day. Their clients flood back, including some of the young people who were part of the fight. Magda updates everyone on the boy who was stabbed- he is stable, but still having a difficult time healing from his many surgeries. She visits him every day.

On the third of February, the cafeteria is full of excited chatter. There is news that Sokovia is calling her far-flung children to return. Magda does not like what she is hearing. Wanda is worried. Their drive home is uncomfortable as they listen to a commentator on the Sokovian AM radio station talk of a major defeat of the democratic socialists and rumours of a compromise reached behind closed doors. They hold hands, wondering what is going to happen next.

Loki has been trying to follow the news out of Sokovia, asking Wanda and Magda questions whenever he can. He does not like to talk to Alexi about it. He seems too angry. Loki is walking home from his bookshop on a cold day in mid February when he gets a text from Alexi.

 _"We need to talk. Meet under the ash?"_

 _"I am still walking home, but yes. We can."_

 _"See you in an hour."_

 _"That sounds fine. I will see you then."_

Loki takes a deep breath. With the war still raging, he has a sinking feeling in his stomach that there is something very wrong that Alexi wants to tell him. Something that is going to hurt. And so when he arrives home, he cannot spend the next half an hour inside. He grabs something to eat, but then puts back on his blue peacoat and goes out to sit on the bench under the ash.

He is cold, but he sits very still as he waits. His mind is spinning, trying to figure out what Alexi wants to talk about. So much has happened under this ash, his very own World Tree. He looks up into its branches and sighs.

He hears footsteps on the snow, "Hey, babe."

"Hello."

"Looking at anything particular up there?"

"No. Only the delicate pattern of her branches. What is it you need to talk about?"

"You know what's going on in Sokovia?"

"Yes."

"Well it has to do with that..."

The black Mercedes pulls up in front of Magda's house, "Magda and Wanda have done their best to explain things to me." They do not see the two men on the bench as they enter the house even though Loki is ready to wave.

"Well today things changed. Sokovia called. She needs her mothers to take on the orphans. And there are a lot of them. And it looks like there's a ceasefire. Some kind of peacetalks."

"Oh."

"Loki, I think I'm going back. I've always said that if this body needed to be used by a child, I'd give it. And they say there are hundreds of Sokovian babies who need moms willing to induce lactation. I'm fine with that. And I feel like this is something I have to do, at least for a little while."

Loki can barely think to respond, "Ah. You feel strongly about this?"

"What would you do if you could help Asgard's kids? If you could make a difference in the life of an orphan?"

"I do not know."

"Well I do know. And I'm so so sorry. I really want 'us' to work. This is one of the hardest decisions I've ever made."

Loki swallows hard, "When...when do you leave?"

"I started packing earlier today. I'm heading out on a red eye flight tomorrow morning."

"Oh. So this is goodbye." He can hardly make eye contact.

"Yeah. I guess. Or at least for now."

"But you do not know if you will ever return. You cannot simply leave a child behind."

"Maybe you could come later? When things have settled down?"

"Perhaps."

"I won't ask that of you, though. You've made a good life here. And this is where your family is. So it wouldn't be right for me to take you from all that. Only come if you want to."

"Oh."

"I know. I've been rehearsing this all day in my head. You're just getting it all dropped on you."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, Loki." He stands up and turns back to him, lifting his chin and gently kissing him, "I hope you can forgive me some day, because I think this might have been love." And then Alexi walks away.

Loki cannot think. He cannot move. He watches Alexi's car drive away as tears stream down his cheeks.

From inside the warmth of the rowhouse, Magda and Wanda watch the news from Sokovia as it appears on Magda's Twitter feed. Wanda glances out the window as she hears the car crunch down the street.

"I think that was Alexi's car."

Magda freezes, "Oh no..."

"Do you think...?"

"Why else would he be leaving so early? Where is Loki?"

Wanda texts him. No answer. She calls. No answer.

Magda looks out to the ash, "There he is."

Wanda already has her coat on, "He is as still as a statue."

Magda grabs her housekey and tosses on a coat, "Very. This is not good."

They hurry out the door.

Loki still has not moved except to cast his eyes to the ground when Magda sits beside him and Wanda kneels in front of him, "Loki? Please, talk to us."

"He's gone."

Magda wraps her arms around him, "I am so sorry, Loki."

"He's just gone. Sokovia called and he answered."

"I know," Wanda answers, "He is not alone in this. There were many at the centre today talking about returning. The government needs families, they say, both for the children left behind and to stabilize and rebuild the nation. They are playing on our homesickness to call us back."

"Will you go?"

Magda shakes her head and wipes his tears, "No, my darling. No. Our place is here."

"But you miss it."

"And I am suspicious of any government that calls people back from their lives with such overt nationalism. So even if I had nothing here, I would not go. But better reason yet, have too much here that I refuse to ever willingly leave behind."

"And you?" he asks Wanda.

She gently strokes his cheek, "I will not leave you."

"He did."

"I know. And I see plainly how much that hurts you."

"I do not know what to do."

"Come inside with us," Magda urges, "and have some warm soup and hot chocolate. I will serve you food to soothe your soul. And then we can cuddle and you can let yourself feel whatever it is you wish, and we will listen and hold you in our arms and hearts."

He shivers, realizing just how cold he is, "For at least a little while."


	59. Chapter 59

Loki does not stay late at Magda's and returns to his own bed to fall into a fitful sleep. He wakes before dawn and he cannot fall back asleep, so he tries to read. The book cannot break through his sadness and he puts it away. He makes coffee and sits in the dark in his living room, slowly sipping it, trying to just be. Even that is a struggle.

A few hours later, as the dawn cracks the grey sky, there is a knock on his door. It startles him, so he sets down his coffee and checks the peephole to see who it might be. There is no one there. He cautiously opens the door and peers out. No one. But there is a large box on his doorstep. He wonders if it is safe, but then realizes that he doesn't really care if it is or not, so he drags it inside. It is not as heavy as he thinks it should be. He tugs it to the living room and sits on the floor to open it. He carefully pulls back the tape and peels back the flaps. A glint of something gold. When he has it open, he stares, unable to command his hands to lift it out of the box. When he finally does, the metal is all-too familiar.

"My helmet."

He pulls it out of the box and stares at it. It is badly scarred, one of the horns dented from clattering from his head during the battle of New York. Something has been welded to the back of it and he prods the inexpertly managed repair.

Out of habit, he puts it on.

Something jolts him forward. Energy. Something sharp that plugs into his brain near the weld. It surges through his mind and he arches back, clutching the coffee table to keep from falling over. And then he recognizes it. Pure life itself. Yggdrasil. He gasps as everything becomes so clear and he begins to gain his bearings. He knows this feeling and it knows him. He tries a simple illusion- snakes on the table. The appear and vanish at his command. He laughs. He duplicates himself. It works. He dissolves the other him. He tries to shape-shift. It works.

He knows, though, that he cannot wear the helmet everywhere and he wonders just what enchantment has brought him such a gift. And then he wonders just who it was who left it at his door and what they will want in return.


	60. Chapter 60

Even Ralph knows something is wrong with Loki when he comes in to work. He asks what, and Loki tells him that Alexi is returning to Sokovia. Ralph knows there is something else wrong, though. Something Loki will not say. But he cannot put his finger on what. He keeps an eye on his young apprentice throughout the day.

By the end of the week, Ralph is utterly certain there is something else going on, but he has no evidence, no way to prove that his concern is founded. There is simply something off about Loki. It is not something that effects his work, but it is there and he can see it- something subtle.

Loki does not go next door in the evenings, politely declining his sisters' invitations saying he does not feel well. Instead, he hermits in his room, practicing spell after spell, testing the limits of the helmet. He is surprised that it seems to have none. He is suspicious, though, of the welded spot. On closer inspection, he notes that it is not to heal a crack, as there is no split inside the metal. It looks as though it is covering something up.

When he briefly visits Wanda and Magda on a Saturday, he learns something that seems to explain a lot. SHIELD believes the Time Stone has travelled to New York City. When Loki returns home, he inspects the weld once more. He puts on the helmet. And he tries to figure out what he could do to tap into its power. For a brief moment, he flickers into a melee in the palace dungeons looking at himself trapped in a cell. And then the second is over and he is back in his own bedroom. He takes of the helmet.

"I cannot do this. It is far too tempting."

He sets the helmet aside and goes to bed.

There is a side-effect, it seems, to being connected to the World Tree through the power of the Time Stone. He has nightmares as vivid as though he were present again in his past. He feels every strike of whiplike arms landing on his back and wakes up with blood on his sheets, his scars seeping. He feels himself falling into the Void nearly every night at least once. And then there are worse memories that surface as well. Things done to him by the creatures under Thanos' control that break him and reshape him until he will not resist following their command to take the staff and go to Midgard for the Tesseract, not out of any love for them, but because his is terrified of the other options and he has been convinced that he will finally be respected and possibly even adored if he does. It is hard to shake these memories in the morning, but he does what he can to scald them clear from his mind in the shower.

Wanda and Magda are extremely worried after two weeks of declined invitations. They beg for time with him and he gives it. They eat, they play games, but he leaves early. He refuses to talk about Alexi.

It is after one of these suppers that he realizes he can change everything. He can go back to his mother's death and save her, creating the illusion of her death so the time stream is still the same, but bringing her forward. He could be the hero to all of Asgard by returning with their beloved Queen. And he wonders if he could stop the war in Sokovia somehow, bringing Alexi home. He thinks this unlikely, but possibly he could ask Odin to intervene as a gift for bringing back his wife.

And then he remembers that using the Stone will call those who are seeking it directly to him. Thanos. And there will be no mercy or grace for him even if he does give it to him. The thought of returning to wherever he was kept before chills him to the core. He knows there is only one place he might be safe and that is under Odin's protection. But if he brings the Stone to Asgard first... Then there, he could use it. Return Frigga to her rightful place by Odin. Gain Odin's admiration and beg for protection enough to avoid whatever cruel experiment Thanos has planned for him next. Perhaps he could even ask, instead of intervention in Sokovia, for at least his magic back. The helmet is nice, but every time he removes it, the branches of Yggdrasil are once again wrenched from his heart and it hurts.

The thought of leaving Magda and Wanda deeply saddens him, though. His family. The people who have cared so dearly for him in his time in Midgard. They are tangled in his heart as well. But, he thinks, they would want him to be happy, and he is most happy when he can feel the Great Ash woven with his soul.

By St Patrick's Day, he has made up his mind. He dresses in the ceremonial armor that Thor brought him not yet a year ago. He places the helmet on his head and materializes a staff for himself. He has always liked staffs. He writes a note for Magda and Wanda and leaves it on his dining room table, and he walks out the front door.

He does not want to risk hurting the ash in the descent of the Bifrost, so he must find another suitable place for his reveal. He disguises himself and makes his way to Central Park.


	61. Chapter 61

Wanda sits with Natasha, Clint, Tony, and Steve in the penthouse. They are scanning the latest feed from SHIELD on the Time Stone. There have been some suspicious energy readings around the city, but most have been concentrated in one particular building. SHIELD briefed them, but did not give them the address. Tony walks them through the charts- what kind of energy signatures, the fact that they seemed to be connecting someone with something ancient, and that they are surprisingly concentrated all in one location, at least for the past month. He flicks to an areal photograph and Wanda nearly drops her coffee.

"You know the place?"

"I often live there."

"Wait, what?"

All eyes are on her.

Steve prompts, "You're going to have to do some explaining, Wanda."

She shakes her head as he zooms in, "No, that's not over Magda's house. It's next door."

"So who's your neighbour?" Clint asks.

"Loki. It's Loki."

No one moves for a moment, "Oh shit, he's gone evil again, hasn't he?" Tony says.

"Call Thor," Wanda replies.

"Why?"

"Because I think this is a whole lot more complicated than that."

Something beeps on one of the holographs hovering in front of them, "Tony? He's moving," Steve reports.

"Where to?"

"No idea. Looks like maybe Central Park."

Clint watches the moving dot, "He's on the subway. I'm not convinced evil takes the subway."

"It does if it's trying to be stealthy. Come on, we should suit up. Who knows what he's going to do?" Steve and Clint go to get ready. Tony stops, noticing that Natasha is still sitting next to Wanda, a hand on her back, "Are you ladies coming?"

Natash glares at him, "In a minute."

"Hey, I wasn't saying anything. I really wanted to know."

"No, you want to know if Wanda can handle fighting her best friend."

"That too, but I was trying to be tactful."

"That's unusual for you. Don't be surprised if I don't entirely believe you."

He crouches down by Wanda, "Look, I don't want to make this worse. But you're the one who knows him best. What's his play?"

"I do not know."

"You don't think he's up to something?"

"Tony, his lover left him for a country at war. He has spoken little to us since then. It has been a month. I do not know what he is doing, but whatever it is, it is not out of malice. It is out of desperation and anguish."

There is a thud and Steve calls, "Thor's here."

Tony calls, "Got it," and then returns his attention to Wanda, "I don't like not being the one in charge, but if you tell us to hold in the field, we'll do it. If you honestly think he's not trying to do something incredibly stupid with this thing...I've got to believe you. But if he makes one threatening move, I'll throw him across that damn park."

Wanda takes a deep breath, "Then I suppose we had best work quickly so I can intervene before others do."

"Yeah. Especially before Rock of Ages over there does. Because you know he's going to forget his brother's not a god the minute he sees whatever magical thing he's got going on with the Time Stone."

She stands and takes Natasha's hand, "Thank you," she squeezes, "I think we ought to hurry."

Tony stands and pats her shoulder, "Right. Let's get to Central Park."

Wanda rides with Natasha, Clint, and Steve in a very fast car while Tony and Thor fly ahead.

Clint adjusts his earpiece, "Drop me off at the edge of the park, Nat. I'll find a perch. If any of you give a signal, I'll fire."

Natasha shakes her head, "Wait for Wanda. She's calling the shots on this one."

"Are you sure? No offence, but if he's gone to the Dark Side, we can't afford the 'he was my friend' hesitation. That'll get us killed."

"I'll back her up. If it looks like things are going south, I can buy a little time. He's not even as strong as I am, Clint. One good hit with the shield and I can take him down."

"Yeah, but he's got the Time Stone. You don't to end up back in the 90s or something. Might get sent to a Nickleback concert."

Steve stares, "A what?"

"A rock band you should be glad you missed."

Steve takes out his little notebook and jots it down, "Now that you said it, I'm going to have to look it up."

"Suit yourself, but you're going to regret that."

Natasha rolls her eyes, "Calm down, boys. Nothing to get excited about. We're almost there." She turns to Wanda, "You sure you're ready for this?"

"Yes." She sighs,"And no at the same time."

"If he's gone evil, you know we might have to kill him, right?"

"Yes. I understand that. I only ask for a moment alone with him while he is dying if it comes to that."

"If it's safe."

"Yes. If it is safe."

"You hear that, boys?"

Steve nods, "Yes, ma'am."

"Clint?"

"Got it."

"Relay that to the guys in the sky. If we have to kill him, Wanda gets last words."


	62. Chapter 62

Loki knows they are coming. There is no way they cannot be. And when he steps off the train, well hidden by his illusions, he sees Thor streak overhead and feels the ground shake as he lands. He moves swiftly through the park to an open field and, with Wanda, Natasha, and Steve approaching from one side, Thor from another, and Tony in the sky, he drops his illusions, except for his sceptre, and raises his face to the sky.

"Heimdal! I, Loki Odinson, of...Midgard, demand an audience with the All-Father!" Green energy crackles around him and his voice is rough and harsh, "I have something that might interest him."

Thor twirls Mjolnir.

Wanda shouts, "No! That will kill him- he's one of us, remember?" Mjolnir stops abruptly.

"What are our orders, Wanda?" Tony asks from the sky.

"I will engage him first." She strides towards Loki, her face grim, "Loki, stop this!"

"Stay back! You do not know what I can do- or what I am willing to do." He is shouting, still, as though this is part performance, "Come no closer, any of you! I will kill you if you try to stop me! Oh yes, even you, dear Sister. Even you." But she does not break stride. Her wisps become visible, floating from her fingertips, crackling at the end of her hair. When she is close enough that he can drop his voice, he does, "Please, Wanda. Don't make me do this." But she does not stop.

There is a green ball of energy in his hands in a moment and he throws it at her. Steve, following behind her, is ready to push her out of the way when it impacts a foot in front of her against barrier of red light that did not exist a moment before. The green curls outward like smoke, dissolving as it cracks along red edges. Natasha circles, watching. The Scarlet Witch against Loki. Magic and wisps. Nothing she has ever seen before.

Wanda gathers a ball of her own red and tosses it to him. He deflects it into the ground and lashes back at her. She uses her wisps to catch what he has thrown her and to whip it back at him even faster. He is amazed that this is even possible and hesitates only a fraction of a second, but it is enough that he cannot react fast enough. The whip catches his side and knocks him off his feet, throwing him away from Natasha. He winces as he tries to stand and stumbles. It is enough time for a wisp of red to connect with his temple. This one, though, does not move him. He is rooted to the spot.

It takes every ounce of her concentration to keep moving towards Loki while her wisp holds him captive. She pushes it farther and begins to try to work her way into his mind. He resists at first, but then caves, dropping all barriers and letting her fully wrap herself into his memories.

From Natasha's point of view, it is over, even though she knows there is a different battle being fought. Steve stands back, watching. Tony lands beside Thor. Natasha joins them.

"So...what's she doing to Reindeer Games?"

"I do not know, Metal Man. But he appears to be allowing it."

"Yeah. And that's what I don't like. What if he hurts her?"

"Can my shield sever the connection or would the...whatever she has...just go right through it?"

Thor shrugs, "I do not know. But we ought to stay close, just in case."

Clint's voice comes over their earpieces, "I'm assuming I'm still supposed to hold this shot?"

"Yeah, hold it. At least until we figure out who is doing what to who."

"Roger, Nat."

They fan out and cautiously step closer.


	63. Chapter 63

Wanda watches memories flicker by as though they were short films she could choose from. But she waits for him to show her something. She knows time feels different in someone else's head and everything is happening over a matter of seconds. But it will feel longer, much longer, to her. She waits.

And then something surfaces and she is suddenly listening to Odin shouting, "I cast you out!"

Then backwards, to a barren wasteland and excruciating pain, one final moment of connection and a deep wish that things could be different. A daring escape. Immense grief. Take the stairs to the left. Final words to Frigga. And hearing Odin bellow that his birthright was death before asking for it himself, believing he will never see anyone who has ever cared about him again as he is escorted off in chains, his proud demeanor a mask covering a heart in turmoil.

He does not show her New York, but she glimpses moments with the creature that gifted him the sceptre. She sees nothing of his time between worlds, though, as he carefully hides those memories from her. She hangs from the Bifrost with him, looking up at Odin's face, already so beaten down from his belief that he was a monster and then letting go.

Finding out.

And before that, the memories are clips and moments. Love from his mother, lessons in the gardens or in her private chambers. Spilling on a tablecloth and fearing wrath. The incident that led him to believe that he would only receive condemnation for spilling his drink.

And then they linger on a memory so sharp that it is clear to Wanda this is something Loki wants her to see from his child-eyes. He sits on Odin's knee showing him a beautifully complex piece of magic. Runes weave between his fingers as tendrils of light erupt from nothing to form complex networks of crystalline shapes built one upon the other as though one were looking at a heap of delicately tinted snowflakes through a high powered microscope. The little hands appear to be that of a young child- possibly the equivalent to a Midgardian six year old. From her vantage point behind his eyes, Wanda watches them manipulate the spell.

Then Thor enters. Bounding, raucous, loud Thor who does not feel the need to not interrupt. He is followed by his friends and they are laughing loudly, telling their story all at once, their words overlapping. Odin turns his attention to these rowdy children, so clearly much, much older than the little boy on his lap. They are not quite teenagers, but nearing it.

"Father! You would never guess what a grand adventure we had today! We fought bandits near the Western Wall so valiantly that they will never think to come this way again!"

Odin's attention is on the older children immediately, "Bandits? Come, sit, and tell us your story."

Loki ends his spells and slips from Odin's lap, but Odin is so absorbed by the details of Thor's rambunctious story that he does not seem to notice that his young son has gone. Loki hurts. He runs past where his mother sits and flees to his room. He slams the door shut. Thousands of his intricate designs hover in the air around his bed, a little glimmering world to wake up to. He smashes them. Every shape clatters to the floor, tinkling as it hits the other broken shards. He throws himself on the bed and sobs.

His mother enters. She does not knock. Pieces of his creation litter the floor, it's crystalline forms shattered, their colours faint as they fade. Some of them still crunch as she walks over them. She sits on the bed and places a hand on his back.

"It was beautiful, Loki. Truly beautiful."

"Go away."

"No. I see you had a larger one in your room."

He sniffles, "All around my bed."

"I am impressed. That is a difficult spell, and an even harder one to sustain."

"Not if you link them- they feed off one another."

"Really?"

"Yes. But Father will never notice, not so long as stupid Thor always interrupts."

"Now, Loki, your father tries his best to-"

"No he does not! He always makes me wait when Thor comes in."

"I will talk to him later about that."

"It will not change anything. Father loves Thor best."

She is quiet, "No, he does not. He loves you just as dearly."

"That's a lie. If he did, he would let me finish."

"Loki..."

"It's mean but true."

She gathers him up in her arms and holds him on her lap, "Your father has done so much for you, my little one. And we love you with all our hearts. Thor is at that age when his stories of adventure need to be carefully listened to before he alters the story. Your father must make sure he does nothing that could harm this realm or any others and he is a rash boy. You are my little thinker. He will take time for you, even if it is later. And some day it will be your stories he must carefully screen for any inklings of mischief."

"Why cannot Thor just wait his turn? It would not take long for me to finish up."

"I will talk to him this evening."

"It's too late. Father never comes back so I can finish. And Thor will never stop barging in when I want to show him things."

The memory fades. He shows her nothing else. She draws back from his mind and drops down to sit beside him instead of towering over him. She is tired.

"Wanda, I...I can explain."

She rests her hand on his knee, "Explain what?"

"The Stone. The helmet. Everything."

"I know."

"I'm so sorry. I could have killed you." He takes her hands, "Please, give me a chance to talk this through?"

"Of course."

"I just thought-" but there is a crack from the sky and Loki, in sheer terror, grabs her wrists as the Bifrost yanks them to the sky.

Tony's eyes follow the bridge as it vanishes, "Um...did that thing just suck Wanda into space?"

Thor steps away from them, "Heimdal? Bring me home." Thor shoots off on the rainbow bridge. Steve, Tony, and Natasha stare at the marks in the grass.

"I guess our job here is done. Come on. Let's pack it in. We'll go back to the tower and wait. Order pizza. Tell SHIELD this is an Asgard thing."

Natasha stares up for a moment longer, "Aren't you in the least bit concerned that Wanda just got sucked into Asgard?"

"Nah, Thor's there. She'll be fine."


	64. Chapter 64

When they land on the Bifrost outside of Heimdal's control room, Loki expects chains. He is not wrong. Rough hands drag him to his feet and pull him away as he tries to glance back to make sure Wanda is alright. Confused and a bit disoriented by the travel, she stands slowly.

"Take him to the rooms we prepared. I will see to the girl." An old man, still strong, steadies her, taking her arm and moving her off the bridge, "I do not wish to keep you here long. But you would not do well to travel home so soon. Come, sit." There is a bench at the edge of the room and he introduces himself after they are settled, "I am Odin, King of Asgard."

"Oh. Ought I bow?"

"No. That will not be necessary."

"Thank you. I am Wanda Maximoff."

"I know. Heimdal has been watching you and telling me of your actions. You know both my sons."

"Yes."

There is a snap and Thor strides into the room, "Where have you taken him, Father?"

"Calm, Thor. Everything is under control. And he is not being taken to the dungeons yet."

"May I speak with him?"

"No."

Frustrated, Thor strides out.

"Sir, may I ask what will happen to Loki?"

"That depends on him."

"He showed me memories. Many times in which Thor interrupted what he wished to show or tell you. Few times he ever was able to finish later. Please, let him this time."

"Oh? How do you know these were not false memories?"

"My gift does not allow someone to create memories while I read a mind. I am the only one who can plant an image. I can force someone to show me whatever it is I wish to see. I choose not to. I choose only to watch willingly shown things. And I have done this to very few people. But also because I trust him. He is my friend. My brother. And I know our trust means a great deal to him."

"You are a brave girl to trust him."

"I have never seen a reason not to. You made him one of us. I can control minds and do this," a ball of red energy appears before her and she shapes it with her hands before letting it dissipate, "Were he to do anything to threaten me, there is no way he could hurt me that I could not do worse in return. Taking this chance was not so risky, except to my heart."

"You are not human?"

"I am. But I was an experiment subject and the result was whatever I am."

"I see."

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Will you promise to treat him fairly?"

"I always have done more than that."

"I know. But he does not see that. And his pain runs deep. Work to heal him, not to hurt him."

"I make no promises."

"May I ask one more thing?"

"Yes."

"Is there a chance I will see him again?"

Odin stands and walks toward the exit, "There is always a chance. Heimdal? Send her home."

She lands on the deck of Stark tower and collapses, her knees weak. Steve sees her first and runs to help her inside. He places her on the couch and she thanks him.

"What happened?"

"Asgard will judge Loki. And we will wait."


	65. Chapter 65

Loki sits in his mother's rooms, confused. He is still in chains, but the guards deposited him here instead of in the dungeon. He did not expect this. It does not make sense to him. He sits at her table, remembering when the cloth that is now draped over his own table would have covered it. The door clicks open. Odin sits across from him. Loki removes the helmet and sets it on the table, his heart sinking as he feels the branches of Yggdrasil pull from his mind. It feels wrong to be without them in this place where he learned to utilize their power.

"Why?"

"Oh, the usual reasons, I suppose."

"Enlighten me."

"Because I am a deeply wicked creature."

Odin bristles at the grate in Loki's voice but maintains the mask of a disinterested interviewer, "I have spoken to your friend. She seems to deeply care about you."

"She is a fool to do so."

"Stop. You do yourself no favours."

"Why should I? I face life imprisonment. Bitterness suits those facing such a promise far better than a simpering heart."

"No, actually, you do not face such a thing. That is but one choice you might make."

"What?"

"First you must tell me why you wished an audience with me."

"Because there is an Infinity Stone in my helmet and I do not wish to attract the creature seeking it. And I have a bargain to make."

"And?"

"Because I know I could use it to make things right." Loki deflates, "I could bring her back."

Odin stares at the helmet, "How?"

"I would have to go back. Replace reality with illusion. Remove her before her death and return here with her. You would send something unreal to its grave and she would come home."

"You believe you could do this?"

"I have to try."

"But why, Loki? She rests, and we have started to heal from her loss."

"Perhaps _you_ have."

"You have not?"

"Somewhat. But not enough. And I need her."

"Continue."

"I just wanted to bring back a time when I was deeply treasured by someone. Since I cannot go back in time to stay, I thought I could bring someone forward to live."

"Were you not loved by your friends in Midgard?"

"Yes. But my soul's companion left. And there is a hole. All I can think of are those who are gone. If I cannot fill that gap left by Alexi, I need to fill the one left by Mother."

Odin sighs, "Loki...no. I know you think this sounds like a good plan, but...no."

"Please...the helmet allows me to use magic. I can do this."

"No. The helmet was sent to you by someone unknown to us who would use you as a puppet on strings. You cannot keep this magic."

Loki's face falls and he is frustrated, desperate, "But it...it is a piece of my soul."

"I understand this. Even without the helmet, it still is. There are those who can reach out and brush Yggdrasil even in Midgard. They are few and far between, but they do exist. And I will not bar you from this. But you must work for it yourself so you value it and do not take it as a given."

"Sokovian Grandmothers."

"I do not know what they are called."

"Is there a book on them I might borrow while here?"

"Yes. But I will also offer you this. You have spent your time in Midgard well. And I will gift you back your magic and your long life if you will willingly live in a cell here. Or I will release you back to Midgard as you are. But not immediately, as I must see who you now are before I do."

"If you release me, I will not have this," he brushes the helmet, "or many years."

"This is true. But you may search for Yggdrasil."

"Where will you protect me from Thanos?"

"He will not search for you in Midgard, but we will watch you still the same. He cannot find you in our dungeons, either."

"May I have time to think on this?"

"Yes. There is a cell prepared for you."

"Ah, lovely. A taste of my imprisonment so I might be tempted to stay."

"No, I assure you your lifelong quarters would be much more comfortable. I have instructed some sparse comforts be afforded to you in your confinement, but were you to choose to stay, we would do better."

"May I try to-"

"No. You will not try to bring her back."

Loki pushes the helmet towards Odin, "Then you ought to make sure this is safely stowed."

"I will."

Odin rises to leave, "I will tell the guards to escort you to your cell after a few moments."

"Wait. I have a question."

"Yes?"

"Why did you tell me my birthright was to die when I have a note proving otherwise?"

"You believe it is truth?"

"Why should I not?"

"That is exactly what your mother said. You often sound so much like her, Loki. More than you know. And she believed the letter. I did not. I thought it only a trick to lure us to a defeated realm. I did not wish for her to go, but she insisted and, like you, stubbornness was in her nature. I could not stop her, so we went. And we saw a king ready to spring at any false move and a queen desperate to see a child no longer hers. We gave the queens a few minutes with you and then left. But we brought a garrison and we were prepared for the worst. I am convinced Laufey would have sprung upon us had we not come with an army."

"You do not believe they wanted me."

"I did not know what to believe. We would have never abandoned a child in war."

"And so you stole me away."

"Yes. You must believe I had mercy in my heart when I did."

"I do not know what to believe. But I will consider it."

Odin sighs and takes the helmet from the table, "At least there is that. I will send for you in a few days and we will talk further about your choices."


	66. Chapter 66

A few days after Loki's return to Asgard, Wanda brings bins and boxes to her apartment in the tower and begins packing. Magda is there to help her. She says little as they take down her tapestries and toss pillows into plastic bags, loading things onto a hand cart in the hallway.

Tony drifts by as they are breaking down her kitchen, "So...you're moving out."

"Yes."

"Look, I know we've never been great friends, but I hope you know you've always been a member of my team."

"I do. And I hope still to be. Like others, though, I will simply have another place to lay my head."

"Magda's place?"

"Our place now, but yes."

"Cool. Cool."

"This small talk is most certainly not why you stopped by."

"Yeah. About that. I just wanted to make sure you're OK. You were close to Loki and now he's...wherever. And that can't sit well with you."

"For a self-professed asshole, you are showing a remarkable amount of empathy. I am grateful for this. Thank you."

"So...he wasn't evil, was he?"

"No. He was not evil. He never was."

"Except for that whole world domination thing."

"No, not even then. You must remember how old he is, emotionally. Were you a stable creature at 20? Or had you then learned you were adopted from a race of people you were taught to hate would you have made some terrible decisions as well? Besides, not long ago, you did destroy a small nation."

"You know I'm sorry about Sokovia- that was an accident trying to create world peace. Anyway, I was drunk and-or high for most of my teens and 20s. I'm not sure I was capable of any worse decisions. But I get your point. He's a kid. A thousand year old kid."

"With some severe family problems."

"Well most people with those don't try to take over the world."

"Most people are not from Asgard and bargaining for their lives midway through their time at university...which is about the approximate, correct?"

"Yeah, about. So are you ever going to see him again?"

She sighs, "Odin said there is a chance, but I do not understand how. For now, we will keep his house and wait."

"Oh. I'm..I'm sorry to hear that."

She stops packing and comes over to place her hands on his shoulders, "Thank you, Tony. Truly, thank you."

He forces a smile and takes a deep breath, "Well. I guess I'll leave you to your packing. Let me know if you need anything." He pats her arm and leaves. She goes back to pulling dishes from the cupboard.

"That was kind of him," Magda says.

"Yes, it was. And not easy for him, either. But he is trying."

"This surprises me."

"It would have months ago. But after you and Loki visited here while I was gone, I think things have changed. You reminded him that we are not islands. We have people who love us. And that means the team members are not the only people sacrificing for this. Our families do, too. And they are possibly more brave than the Avengers in that you are willing to endure this time and time again."

They continue their packing in silence.


	67. Chapter 67

A few weeks after his arrival in Asgard, Loki faces a deadline and a choice to make. Odin, tired of his wavering and delaying, is coming for his decision. They will sit and they will talk. Thor has visited a few times, but he does not say much, instead seeking to understand and to allow his brother the space to explain himself. But Loki says little. He cannot see how it will be helpful and he is puzzled by whomever sent him the helmet, so instead he asks Thor for news of who might have sent it. It is not something he had thought much about. None of the people he has imagined might be behind its arrival are people he wants to ever have contact with again.

When Odin enters his cell, he puts aside his book and waits for the king to speak first, sitting up on his bed. Odin sits at his feet.

"Have you come to a conclusion?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"If I will be safe from Thanos and whomever sent me the helmet and Stone, I wish to return to Midgard."

This surprises him, "Oh? But you said your magic was so integral to your soul. Does that not sway you to stay?"

"It did, for a while. But more integral to my soul is the touch of another person. Falling asleep with someone beside me. Cuddling under a blanket watching the stars. Sitting close on the balcony weekend mornings sipping coffee, staving off the chill with the heat of our bodies while we watch the sunrise. Being kissed on the cheek and embraced in greeting. Always having someone next door to call on if I am unable to hold my own hope. These things are far more important. And, according to your books, the Midgardian sorcerers are ones I have books about- witch women. The lore is true enough that I think I will be able to make my own connections over time. I am willing to wait if that is the price I must pay to have my beloved friends with me."

"And your long life? You will give that up as well?"

"I already have had it stolen from me once. I did not know there was a chance of it returning and made my peace with it then. I can continue to be at peace with it. And is not a few decades living in love a remarkable gift?"

"You will die long before your brother."

"I know. But I will live alongside my sisters and, hopefully some day, a lover. And no one will treat me as though I am untouchable because I am a prince. There is happiness in my home there. And in my sisters' home. And I wish to go where I am welcomed and embraced for everything I am and have been."

Odin does not believe what he is hearing, "You have grown, Loki. I did not expect this."

"I have a life in Midgard that I have learned to love. I am useful. I am a purveyor of books old and new in a shop that will soon be my own. I am deeply cared for. And I can care for others without barriers or formalities. Please, if you are willing to keep your bargain, return me to Midgard."

Odin rises, "So be it. You will return to Midgard. Thor will be here shortly to escort you."

"Thank you."

Odin leaves. A few minutes later, Thor enters. Loki leaves the book on the bed and follows him when he is told to. Thor takes him first to his chambers and asks what he wants brought with him. Loki selects clothing, a few books, a sturdy pair of boots, and a box of mementoes from his childhood. Thor packs them in a small trunk. Loki tries not to think about what he is choosing to give up and instead focuses on what he is choosing to return to. He finds that when he does this, his heart is surprisingly light.

When they land at Stark tower, Tony meets them at the door, "This seems strikingly familiar, except this time you've left a mess on my deck."

"It is not the first time. You have been able to restore it. You will again."

"Yeah. Turns out, Bifrost marks aren't as easy to remove as you might think. Anyway, what's going on this time? You boys in trouble?"

"No. Loki has chosen to return."

"Pretty sure that's not what I thought would happen. Wanda said something about judging."

"Father has done so. And Loki was granted a choice."

"Oh I can't wait to hear this. What did the all powerful god-man deem would be the fate for this guy? Is he going to release him wild into our world like he seems to do whenever he banishes his kids?"

Thor is about to say something entirely unkind to Tony when Loki answers for himself, "I was offered back my long life and magic if I would live in a cage."

"Oh, so is Midgard now the cage? Got to keep you away from Asgard?"

"No. I would be living in a cell in the dungeons the rest of my life had I chosen such. Instead I asked to be returned here to live as I have been."

Tony stares, "Wait, you've been bent up enough over not having it that you tried to kill yourself, but you didn't take it back? What's your angle?"

"I haven't one. But I do have sisters here I cannot leave behind for the rest of a very long and lonely life. This place has brought me happiness and love."

"Magda and Wanda are the reason you gave up magic?"

"Yes."

Tony gapes, "I'm not sure what to think about this. But if you're not lying, that's absolutely amazing."

"I assure you, I am not."

"So what are you going to do next?"

"I need to see them."

Natasha, who has been sitting on the couch listening, pipes up, "I'll drive."

"Wait, Nat, how do you know this is safe."

"I don't. But if he's really still just one of us, I can probably kill him faster than he can kill me."

"I assure you, I am no greater than I was when I left."

"When you left you were using magic."

"Only because of the helmet and an Infinity Stone. I have neither. Perhaps my assurance was misstated."

"I'm not comfortable with this, Nat."

She rolls her eyes, "Come off it, Tony. I'll take someone with me. Thor?"

"I cannot. Father has business for me to attend in Asgard. My role here was as an escort only."

She pulls out her telephone and calls someone, "Steve? Yeah. Loki's back. Dad won't let me ride in the car alone with boys. Will my big brother come along?"

While she is talking, Thor shakes Loki's hand and leaves the trunk beside him, "If you need me to deliver other items from your rooms, do not hesitate to ask. I will be back as soon as this business at hand is finished."

"There is no business, is there, Thor? He wants to see how I do without you. If my friends are as true as I believe. If they are forgiving. It is a test. Be honest. You are a terrible liar."

Thor sighs, "This is true. And that is also true. Stay strong, Brother. I will return."

"Goodbye, Thor. Until we are permitted to meet again."

"Heimdal?" And Thor is gone.

Natasha hangs up, "Steve's meeting me down at the car. Come on. Let's get you home."

He tries to heft the trunk and finds that it is heavier than he expected, "A little help?"

She takes one side, "Here. Together."

The elevator ride is awkward, but she smiles and, relieved, he smiles back. The trunk only somewhat fits in her car and Steve ties it in with bungee chords. She drives. Both men sit in the back seat.

When they are well into their trip, Loki finally speaks, "I...I am sorry for my actions in Central Park. I did not mean anyone harm. I only sought an open space from which to call Heimdal."

"Why?" Steve asks, "Why did you want to go back?"

"Wanda has not explained it?"

"No."

"I had the Time Stone. And I wanted to go to where it would be safe from those hunting it. And then I wanted to bring her back...or forward, as it were."

"Who's 'her'?"

"My mother." Silence. "I know it sounds childish, but Alexi left me and I need to fill one of the holes left by those who took a piece of my heart with them..." The explanation sounds stupid to his ears, so he stops saying anything at all.

"It's not childish at all. We all have people we miss," Steve responds. "I've been looking for Bucky since...well, since I knew he was alive. He's like a brother to me and I thought he was dead. I would have done anything to bring him back after I thought I'd lost him. And now that I know he's not, I'll do anything to help him remember who he was and who I am. Including fight him only as much as I have to on a helicarrier falling from the sky while he's trying to kill me."

"And you know my story. Or parts of the legend, at least. Don't think there aren't people I've lost I wouldn't kill to bring back. Or worse," Natasha adds.

"Thank you both for your understanding."

"So what was your plan? Or wasn't there really one?" Steve asks.

"I would take the Stone to Asgard where I would be safe using it. Then I would go back to Malekith's invasion and I would use illusion to protect her, to set decoys and to create an empty shell Malekith could sacrifice. And I would steal her back to our time. Thinking it through these past weeks...it would never have worked. But it was all I could think of."

"Better plan than mine for finding Bucky."

"And that is?"

"Burn HYDRA to the ground, one base at a time, until I find him."

"Efficient, though inelegant."

"Straightforward, that's for sure."

"Has it worked?"

"Not yet. But HYDRA's still out there. So there are still bases to burn down."

They turn onto Wanda and Magda's street and Natasha parks the car, "Here's a tip for you, Loki. Learn to love the pain as a reminder you had something good, even for a little while. Love's a bitch but it's worse not to ever find it." Steve gets out to help with the trunk, "I'll wait for you, just in case you don't want to stay. Just give me a signal if you want me to go."

"Would you like to come in instead? Neither of you need to sit in the cold."

She nods, "Sure. That would be nice." They haul the trunk up the steps; he finds his hide-a-key and unlocks his front door. The house smells a little stale, so he cracks the balcony door. He notices that the clean dishes he left on the sideboard have been put away.

Steve carries the trunk to the stairs, "Where do you want me to put this?"

"Would you mind carrying it upstairs? The back bedroom."

"No problem."

He puts the kettle on and finds his phone on the sideboard in the dining room. He texts Magda.

 _"I owe you both an immense apology. I am home. When might I come by to beg your forgiveness?"_

He expects to wait for an answer, but the reply is immediate.

 _"Now. Or as soon as you can."_

He sets out a selection of tea on the counter beside the stove and a pair of mugs; he calls Steve over as he comes down the stairs, "Magda asks for me to come over. I have set out tea. Please, make yourselves comfortable. The whistle will sound when the water is ready"

Steve returns to the living room where Natasha has already done so, her snowy boots by the door, a book she found on the table in her hands.

"Be gentle with that one- it is quite old."

"Since when do you read Russian?"

"I do not read it particularly well. But that one is a book of witch-lore and I was interested in it, so I started teaching myself."

"And you're actually understanding it?"

"A little. It is difficult. But languages are a mystery I enjoy untangling."

"Good. We can talk about it when you get back. It's pretty fascinating, even on the first few pages."

He tosses on his peacoat- his house keys are still in the pocket, "I will return shortly."

"Take your time. You don't need to worry about Nat and I. But you need to take your time with Magda and Wanda."

He nods and sighs, "Yes. Wish me luck."


	68. Chapter 68

Loki steps back out into the chill. The world has not yet begun to melt much, but in the bright sun of this day, he can hear the steady drip from the water that runs, little by little, down his beloved ash. He knocks on Magda's door and takes a deep breath.

When she answers, he is expecting a scolding, but it does not come. She lets him step in the house and close the door before throwing her arms around him and holding him so tightly that he thinks she might never let go.

"Oh god, Loki, I feard we had lost you." She kisses his cheeks, "I am so happy to see you."

"I made a terrible mistake."

"Yes, you did. But it is only a mistake. Not an ending."

"Does Wanda feel the same?" He fears the answer.

"I cannot tell you her heart. She has not wanted to tell me much. But she said she understands you far better now than she did."

"She saw my memories."

"I know."

"Did they hurt her?"

"You will have to speak to her of such things."

"Will she speak to me?"

"Yes, she will."

There is a desperation to his voice, "Please, Magda, forgive me. For my actions. For the weeks of time away from you. For the harm I have caused after. I beg of you..."

She gently kisses his bowed forehead, "My love, there is no need to beg. You are forgiven. I hold no grudges. I only hope you will learn from this. We are here for you to talk to, not to avoid so that you might solve things on your own."

"I have much to tell you, but I think I need to see Wanda first. And I will explain everything, I promise."

"She is in the front bedroom. Go. I will be here when you are done."

"Natasha and Steve are next door. Would you mind checking in on them?"

"Ah! This I can do. I will bring cookies." She taps her temple, "Sokovian grandmother, you know."

"I started the water for tea."

"Good. Now go. Wanda needs to see you."

By the time he reaches the top of the stairs, he is nervous and he hesitates before knocking on the door. Wanda calls for him to enter. The room is so much smaller than her apartment, but it is draped in her tapestries, her pillows and beanbags scattered across the floor draped with velvet blankets and crochetted throws, her old red iron bed under the front window. She is leaning on a pile of pillows, photo albums spread across the floor in front of her, a steaming mug of tea on a short table beside her.

"Hello, Wanda."

"Hello, Loki."

"May I sit with you?"

"Yes."

He drops down beside her, careful not to bump the precisely arranged photographs she is transferring onto large square pages, "Are these from your wedding?"

"Yes. From Yule through New Year's Eve. Magda and I's first holiday season as married women."

"You paste them into these books?"

"Yes. They will be better organized to tell our story when we are old and our memories blurred but the feelings from these days still sharp."

"Ah. Did I earn a place in your book?"

"Of course you did."

"Wanda...I am so desperately sorry for what I have done. I could have killed you. Please...," he bows his head to her and reaches for her hand, "please, I bend before you to beg your forgiveness."

She is quietly angry, moreso than she thought she would be when she envisioned the slim possibility of seeing him again, "Loki...I thought we lost you. That I had lost a brother again."

"I know. And I cannot absolve myself of this. You have done so much for me and I repayed you so horribly..." There are tears in his eyes as he realizes she might not be as able to forgive him as easily as Magda. His heart sinks and he refuses to raise his eyes to meet hers.

She sighs, "Did he hurt you?"

"No."

"Did he listen?"

"I think, perhaps, he did. He gave me a choice and forced me to sit and think on it for these past weeks. But it was fitting."

"What choice did he give you?"

"I could stay, living my life in the dungeon, but with my long years and my magic restored or I could return here as I am."

"You refused magic? Why? You have said it is so central to your being..."

"It is. But the Grandmothers are not mere legend. Your women touched Yggdrasil. I can work to discover that. But I cannot replace this family. I cannot live so isolated in a cell in Asgard with no one to touch me, to hold me, to cuddle close with while watching a sunrise. My sisters are more a part of me than I thought you ever would be. The thought of living centuries without you was unbearable. The thought of only living a few more decades but having you here to love and share my life with? That is joy."

"You gave up shape-shifting for us."

"Yes. I gave up Asgard entirely for you."

"Not entirely. Thor will still come."

"True, that is Thor's nature." He stops, searches for his words, and continues, "When Alexi left, I felt as though my heart fractured. I did not dare to use the Time Stone to retrieve him. But I thought I could fill the hole left by Mother's death and perhaps bring her forward somehow. So I called to Asgard to seize me so I would be somewhere safe when I used the Stone, far from the creature seeking it."

"Loki..." She lifts his chin and tries to meet his eyes. He casts them down. She pushes her photographs aside and folds him in her arms, squeezing tightly as her own tears trickle down her cheeks, "I understand. I do, truly. I would have done the same for Pietro."

"Can you forgive me? For risking your life? For this foolish idea that I could save her?"

"Yes." She will not let him go and buries her face in his hair, "I almost lost you. I thought I might have to kill you."

"I am so sorry. So, so sorry..."

"Please don't ever put me through that again."

"I promise you, I never will."

She sits back, wiping her eyes with her sweater sleeve; he stops her and brushes her tears away himself before drying his own eyes, "You had damn well better not. Or I will slap you."

"I would deserve far worse."

"I would probably do that later."

He chuckles, "Duly noted, dear Sister. Duly noted."

She shifts so she is sitting close beside him instead of facing him and leans against him; he puts an arm around her shoulders and reaches to take her other hand, "Your memories...there was much I am sure you did not show me. But I noticed you skipped what happened after you fell."

"You never need to see what they did to me. The moments you have glimpsed my scars are more than enough."

"Was your childhood really so lonely?"

"There were many times I lived in Thor's shadow, yes. But it was not all terrible. There is much I did not show you."

"Perhaps someday."

"Yes, perhaps." He waits a moment to speak again, enjoying the warmth of her body against his and the scent of her hair, "Thank you for coming for me."

"It was your best chance for survival."

"I know. These past few weeks have given me time to think on every mistake I made in this plan. I still cannot believe I cast against you. Had you not blocked it, you would have been greviously injured, if not dead."

"Anger, fear, and pain makes us do very unwise things. We spoke of this when we first met. You hurt the people you love most when you let these things rule you."

"I will do better."

"Just talk to us. Magda and I are not afraid to listen, even if you must talk through difficult things."

"I have not yet told her this was about Alexi and Mother."

"Do you wish to do so now?"

"No. She is feeding Natasha and Steve. They are in my home. Which, it appears, you cleaned."

"We did. Your refrigerator is spotless."

"You did not know if I would return."

"No. But we needed to do something to keep busy, and so after I moved out of the tower, I regularly cleaned your house from top to bottom."

"Just in case?"

"Exactly. Just in case. And I found your letter."

He had forgotten about the letter, "Oh. Yes. That."

"I have never cried so much over the phrase 'I love you' before."

"I do love you both so dearly."

"I know. And we love you. This is why we will move on from here and forward. Always forward into the next new day."

"Wanda, you are a wonder. Love demonstrated in action. I am so lucky you are my sister."

Wanda smiles for the first time since Loki's return, "It is so good to have you back, Loki. I have so deeply missed you."


	69. Chapter 69

Magda sits with Natasha and Steve until Loki and Wanda arrive. Tea is a quiet affair, but Magda brings out her Cards Against Humanity deck after and they are soon laughing together as though nothing has come between them. Steve blushes regularly. After he and Natasha leave, Loki, Wanda, and Magda sit around the dining room table and talk. He tells Magda of his plan to save Frigga and everything that happened in Asgard. She gets up and hugs him, deeply moved by what he gave up for them. They do not want to leave him, so at the end of the day, they retrieve pajamas from next door and pull blankets and pillows from the bedrooms and cuddle together on the living room floor until they fall asleep together.

In the morning, Magda calls in to work and retrieves things from her own kitchen, returning to find Wanda and Loki still fast asleep. She happily sets out to make breakfast. They wake to the smells of omlettes and hashbrowns, blueberry pancakes and coffee and stumble to the table. Magda, elegant even in her pajamas, sets steaming plates in front of them and then settles in with her own. They watch the sunrise over breakfast.

"So...Loki. I have told the centre I am not coming in today. I assume you are not working for Ralph this morning?"

"Correct. I will return tomorrow."

"What would you like to do today?"

"Absolutely nothing that requires me to leave my soft clothes and my dear sisters, if you agree to this."

"Of course! That is why I called in to work. It is a day to celebrate being together and to welcome you home."

"Thank you."

"It is supposed to be bright and warmer than it has been yet this year. Perhaps we can plan our gardens and dream of spring. It is warming slowly this year," Wanda suggests.

"I like this idea. Loki, what do you say?"

"I think that would be lovely. Could we look into what herbs from your native magic might grow here? Plants mentioned in the books?"

"Of couse! And Wanda will go next door to gather ours after breakfast while I do dishes. We shall dream of the new life of spring."

"I would also like to sit in the square for a little while."

"You will need boots. It has not yet melted."

"I brought a good pair from Asgard. Thor allowed me to bring a trunk."

"Then we shall sit under the ash, but only after we have changed out of our pajamas." Magda says, "First, though, you must eat. Remember how I cook?"

"Like a Sokovian grandmother," Loki replies.

"Yes! And what does this mean?"

"We will have pancakes for lunch for days," teases Wanda.

"Not if we have them for lunch today. And possibly with supper. But yes, in quantity. I do not believe in the myth of a 'small batch' of anything. You will have hashbrowns in the freezer for months."

"Surely you exaggerate."

Magda shakes her head, "You may not have anything in your refrigerator after your abscence, but you have things to thaw and I will not let you go hungry. You will have hashbrowns for months."

Loki smiles, "Thank you, Magda."

They eat, they play games, they read together and plan their gardens, and in the peak of the afternoon, they finally dress and take time in the square. Loki wanders around the tree, dragging his fingers along the bark. He stops by an interesting knot and concentrates on one of the simplest chants from the handmade book. He whispers it to himself once, twice, three times, and as he says it a fourth, he feels a fleeting, faint glimpse of something achingly familiar. He stops, smiles, and lets his hand fall from the tree.

"What are you doing, dear Brother?" Magda asks.

"Trying to find Yggdrasil."

"And?"

"For a moment, I felt her."

Magda throws her arms around him, "I am so happy for you."

"To reach the strength I once knew...that will take years of dedicated study. But to know I can feel this..."

"It is hope."

Wanda takes his hand, "We do not need to carry it for you any longer. You have found it on your own."

"Yes, I have. But stay close, dear sisters, for I may need help again in the future."

"We always will," Wanda answers, "just as we always have."


	70. Chapter 70

When Loki enters the bookshop for the first time in weeks, Ralph stares at him as though he is a ghost, "Son, I don't know where you've been, but you've got some explaining to do before you come behind this counter again."

"I did not expect to be gone. I called to Asgard out of desperation and Asgard kept me for weeks. I am sorry I could not notify you of my predicament."

"And just why did they keep you?"

"Because I brought them a very powerful relic and sought to use it for time travel and to bring someone forward who had died."

"Let me guess. Your mom."

"Yes."

"So now time travel's real, too?"

"Only with this one very powerful Stone."

"You live a life Jules Verne would have been jealous of."

"I was offered the chance to stay and live in a cell for a few thousand years or to return and live but the sixty or so I have remaining. I chose this life."

"Why?"

"I cannot stand to be alone. I need every person in this life I am continually building- and unlike in Asgard, here I have every option open to me and I am truly building my own beautiful life. Including you and this bookshop. Please, allow me to resume my post. I will not be leaving it again."

"You left me in a lurch. I'm probably a fool for this, but come on back. There's tea in the office."

Loki beams as he hangs up his coat and makes himself a cup, "What shall I start with?"

"Taxes are due in a few days. I'll get you the forms."

He sits down at his little desk and arranges his pencils and reports, "Ah yes. The date I have prepared for all year. Bring them forth, let us see how well my record keeping will serve us."

And with that, Loki happily slips back into his role as a bookshop clerk. Over the next few days he updates his receipts books and reports, eventually tackling the tax forms. He drops them in the post the day before they are due, confident in his calculations.

When he finally tells Ralph what his absence was all about, Ralph pours another bit of wine into his tea and sighs, "Son, you have _got_ to develop some better coping skills. And to accept that you just can't undo some things. Death is one of them. Even in the stories, it's a bad idea. Never ends well."

"I know. It doesn't in our stories, either. But I was desperate. I miss them both deeply. And I still wonder what I did wrong to lose Alexi."

"From what you've told me, you didn't do anything wrong. TIming was just shit. If the war wasn't on, he'd probably still be here."

"That does nothing to comfort me."

"I know, I know. But that's the way things are. Maybe he'll return. Maybe he won't. You've got to decide how long to wait or if you want to follow him."

Loki shakes his head, "No. This is where we are. This place. You. My work. Magda. Wanda. The people they love and who love them. And I cannot leave them nor can I ask them to leave everything they have worked so hard for behind."

"So you're making a choice, too."

"Yes. But that does not mean the heartbreak is any lesser."

"Well I understand that, for sure. But you'll live through it if you don't do anything stupid."

He rolls his eyes, "If? I appreciate your vote of confidence." Then he stops and laughs a little ruefully, "I suppose I haven't proven myself not prone to rash or ill-thought-out decisions, have I?"

"Not when it comes to people you love. You're good with business, but people? You need to learn to stop and think. Not that it's a bad thing to love that hard, but you don't want to make things worse on accident."

"How do you do it?"

"I don't. That's why he's gone and I'm a bachelor in a bookshop. And I haven't tried to find anybody since because I know I haven't learned. But that's no way to live your whole life. I'm old. I don't have much time left. That's why I want to travel after I'm done here- see the world while I have the chance. But you? You're a young man. You've got a lot of life ahead of you. Decades more than I have. So you need to figure out what I never did."

"If things were to change...if he came back tomorrow, what would you do?" Loki asks softly.

"I'd be the damn fool who dropped everything for him. It might not be the healthy response, but if we were going to pick up where we left off- absolutely. You're trying to figure out what to do if Alexi comes back, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Don't use me as your reason to take him back. Think long and hard about it. You'll know."

"And in the meantime?"

"Get a cat."

And a few weeks later, when the world feels like spring and the snow is finally dripping down into rivers in the street, Loki has the opportunity. It is an in-between day. Everything feels in-between. In-between seasons. In-between genders. In-between different stages of his life. He slips into his tunic and soft trousers late in the morning and sips coffee on the balcony with a book in hand, enjoying the sun in spite of the chill. Later, he will meet Magda to start working on his garden, but for now, it is a lazy Sunday.

After lunch, someone knocks on his door. When he answers, he is greeted by a little girl with curly red hair and freckles. There is a cage beside her.

"How may I help you?"

"Hi, mister. I live over there." She points across the square. She cannot be more than eight, "My cat had babies. Lots of them. Mom says I can't keep them all. She's on that bench over there." She points to the ash. A woman waves, the girl waves back, and Loki waves, too, "So for five dollars- Mom says free kittens don't get nice homes- I'll give you whatever kitten you want. I've got black ones. I've got striped ones. I've got a tortie. And I've even got an orange one."

"Well as it happens, I have recently been advised by a dear friend that I need a cat in my life. Tell me, are your kittens easy to learn to care for?"

"Very. All they need is a litter pan and some food and water. Mom says we can give you some stuff if you don't have it."

"Well I assure you, that would be a most generous offer and I would greatly appreciate it. May I see your kittens?"

"Right here, mister. Finest kittens on the block."

He bends down to peer in the little cage as she extracts one of the black kittens, "My, they are quite fine. And you said you had six?"

"Yep. Six. Two black. Two grey tiger striped. A tortie. Orange."

"It seems a shame to break up the siblings. I have quite a large house to myself and they would have plenty of room to romp and play, even as they grow older. Would you mind terribly if I adopted all six of them?"

Her eyes grow wide and she turns to holler across the street, "Mom! He wants all six!"

Her mother joins her on the step, "Hi. Lorna Michaels. You've been talking to my daughter, Gwinnie. You're interested in the kittens?"

"Yes. I was telling your delightful daughter that a friend of mine has suggested that housepets would help me a great deal. Your kittens have come at quite a fortuitous time."

"Could we see where they'd be living?"

"Of course. Come in." He shows them into the house and walks them from room to room, all the way up to the library and down to the basement, "So you see, I have plenty of space. I make a decent wage at a bookshop. I do believe I could make a fine home for your kittens."

"What do you think, Gwinnie?"

"I think his house is awesome."

"Is that a yes?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'll bring over litter pans, litter, food, dishes...a kittens starter kit."

Loki pays for the kittens, insisting on doubling the price in gratitude for all the extra supplies. He brings them down to the ground floor while Lorna and Gwinnie go to get the supplies. The kittens tumble around on the large rag rug in front of the door, batting at the bugs that rest on the screen. When his neighbours return, he brings them downstairs and they set up litter boxes. As they say their goodbyes, and Gwinnie pets each kitten once again, the little girl realizes something.

She turns back at the door and gives him a long look, "You're the girl those boys beat up in the park, aren't you?"

Lorna blushes, "Gwinnie!"

"No, no, she's right. I am."

"But you're a boy now."

"That is also true."

"Oh. Are you just a girl sometimes?"

"Yes."

"Oh. OK. Have fun with the kittens. Bye now."

She skips down the stairs ahead of Lorna, "I'm sorry, she's so inquisitive..."

"It is no trouble at all. I don't mind. We are neighbours, after all, and she might as well know how she might see me so it is no surprise to her."

She nods and shakes his hand, "Well thank you for your understanding. And enjoy the kittens. If you need anything, ours is the yellow door over there." She points across the square in the direction Gwinnie is already half-dancing, half-walking.

When Loki returns to the house, he returns to the ground floor and pulls out his phone to consult the internet, "So...how, exactly do I take care of you fluffy little creatures?" They bat at his hand when he tries to pet them and this delights him. "I suppose I ought to name you." He first considers naming them after the people he has left behind in Asgard but thinks better of it. Then he gets a better idea. He picks up the little orange kitten and inspects under its tail, "Well, you might be a girl or boy, but you appear to like to seek out trouble- I suppose you won't mind if you're name is Anthony, will you?" Then he lifts the tortie, "And you are beautiful. Would you mind being Natasha?" He continues this way. The grey tiger that is a little larger is Bruce. The smaller one Steve. "Both men of fine principles, I assure you." And the black one with the white spot on its forehead is Vision while the all black kitten he names Clint, "One with the cover of darkness, and of great stealth indeed." It is only a few moments before he has to clean up the first kitten accident and he relishes the sound of his slight admonishment as he places the offending kitten in the litter pan, "Now now, Anthony, please do not pee in the corners."


	71. Chapter 71

A few days after adopting the kittens, Loki visits Wanda and Magda for supper and walks into a fight. It is the first time he has seen them argue. Magda lets him in and warns that the house is a little tense, so Loki sits on the couch and reads while they prepare supper.

"You have burned the potatoes, dear Wanda. Please, let me take over. You are too distracted."

"I am not. You are hovering like a mother hen."

"It is not easy to burn mashed potatoes, yet you have somehow managed. Please, step from the stove."

"Will you stop? I am doing fine, thank you. I just forgot and put the wrong burner on."

"Your mind is on other things."

"And I am trying to distract it! Go away!"

"Should we talk of this?"

"No, but you will anyway."

"I just do not think it is a good idea."

"Of course it is a terrible idea! But what other choice do I have to make? The government of Sokovia was quite clear- answer the summons or they will seek to extradite me to answer questions- I have NO options! Stop acting like I do!"

"But you know which government won! And they are dangerous! And you do not know if the letter is even from them- it could be a trap!"

"I know that, Magda! Do you think I cannot see such a thing? Do you think I am so stupid that I think answering their letter may not lead to worse things?"

"I do not think you are stupid. Please, calm down. We have a visitor."

"Then he will see us fight! So what?"

"I was-"

"I know. Decorum. Fights stay indoors and out of sight. But this is family and it is messy. And I will answer that damned letter."

"Please do not answer from here. They sent it through SHIELD, they do not need to know your home address."

"I will answer however I damn well feel like it. They cannot trace this phone, it came from Tony and SHIELD."

"You would risk our home for this?"

"No. But I will neither allow you to tell me how to handle this. I only hope Pietro is safe."

"As do I."

"Then that is the only thing we agree on!" Wanda throws down her spoon and storms out of the kitchen. She takes her keys and leaves the house.

Loki sets down his book and goes to the kitchen where he finds Magda sitting on the step stool, crying into her towel, "I am sorry you had to hear this."

"No...please. She is right in that our family should be allowed to be messy with one another. But I am terribly confused and worried for you both. What is going on?"

"SHIELD sent a letter with an envelope from the Sokovian government asking for Wanda to report to them. We do not know why. She suspects HYDRA is involved, but they threaten to take her by force if she does not comply. They also reference Pietro and ask for her to update her on his whereabouts. She fears they will take her from here if she does nothing. And I fear they will do the same if she does."

"Oh. That is terrible."

"Very. And we have been fighting since it came."

"Will you be alright?"

She wipes her eyes, "Oh yes, in time. This is not our first fight. But it will be difficult to stand by and let her choose her own path in this. The communists won. The peacetalks were a false promise and there is nothing left of the government we all worked so hard to build. It hurts to see dear Sokovia in such a state."

"I am sorry to hear this."

"Yes, I know. They say there is a joint government, but it is a lie. And I fear for all of us."

"Have there been more fights at the refugee centre?"

"No."

"Have things actually settled?"

"Yes. There is a resignation to those who are still here. Sokovia is what it is and we will carry on."

"How is the boy?"

"He is recovering. Slowly, yes, but he is. And I will see him again tomorrow."

"When will she make her decision?"

"She already has, dear Loki. She will call when she will call, but the decision is made."

"Would you like me to go after her?"

"Please. I need a moment."

He kisses the top of her head, "Of course, dear Sister." He leaves the house and looks to the square. Wanda sits under the ash, a letter in one hand, her phone in the other. He walks over to her and sits down beside her.

"What did Magda tell you?"

"That you were both so very worried about this letter and you cannot agree on how to proceed."

"That is true."

"She has no reason to say anything but truth."

"I should not have yelled."

"You can make amends later. Are you alright?"

"No. This is a terrible decision to make."

"Would you like to call now to get it over with?"

"I do not know. Yes. But I do not want to make Magda feel worse."

"I do not see how waiting could make it any better."

"That is true. I will call." She stares at the phone a moment, then takes a deep breath and dials.

Loki does not fully understand the conversation, but he catches snippets of it. They ask her name. She gives it. They ask her address. She lies and tells them she lives at SHIELD's headquarters, they can reach her by post as they did before. They ask where Pietro is and she tells them he died during the Ultron incident. There are other questions, ones he only picks up fragments of. Questions that are answered with quick yes or no responses. And she does not elaborate, though it seems the person on the other end wants her to. He hears the words "Avengers" and "government", "citizenship" and "travel" from the person on the other end, but he cannot discern the context. Then she hangs up.

"I admit, I tried to listen to your conversation, but I am not yet fluent in your language. I can read it well, but I do not speak it."

"The questions are tricks. I know. They asked things only HYDRA should know about. And they asked if my parents died as part of the uprising. I stretched the truth a bit. Or answered based on my interpretation of the question. I can play stupid later."

"You told them Pietro died."

"As far as I am concerned, for a time he did. That he returned from this is a technicality."

"I ask again. Are you alright?"

"I do not know."

"Would you like to come play with the kittens for a little while? I will invite Magda as well. You both need kittens."

She laughs, "You are right. Kittens solve everything. Go, get her."

He hands her his key, "Just be mindful no one sneaks past you. Bruce keeps trying to see the world. Oh, and mind where you step. Anthony has taken to leaving hairballs in the most horrible of places."

She kisses his cheek and takes the keys, "You are such a delight, Loki. Thank you for making me laugh. And for sitting with me."

"Of course. We are family." She goes to his house and he goes to hers. Magda has set the food aside, covered, and is sipping a cup of coffee on the balcony, "Come. There are kittens and Wanda awaits."

"Is she furious?"

"No. She made the call. It was suspicious. And she did very well to mask her answers."

"Oh. Was it bad?"

"Yes. She believes it is HYDRA."

"The land of my mothers is run by wickedness."

"That may be true. But we are here, together, and Wanda waits with kittens.

"Are you sure there will be no more fighting?"

"No. But it is very hard to be angry when Steve perches on your shoulder."

"I would think that Clint's role."

"He appreciates it as well, but he prefers to hide on top of the refrigerator."

"That seems apt."

"It is. Of course, I use 'he' by default. I have no idea how to sex a kitten."

Magda returns inside and closes her balcony door, "To the kittens, then. Thank you, Loki."

"It is no problem at all. Come. The fluffy little overlords await."

Wanda is in the living room with all six kittens climbing her when they arrive and Magda cannot help but take a picture. She sits down beside her and Steve hops to her shoulder from on Wanda's. Loki makes tea.

"Loki told me you called."

"Yes."

"And that it was likely HYDRA."

"They are involved somehow. They asked questions only they would know."

"I am sorry to hear this."

"The same. And I am also sorry I yelled at you."

"We were neither in the right. But let us move forward."

"Yes. Always forward. Clint is licking my ear."

"Yes. And Natasha has befriended my shoe."

"Loki was right. Kittens really do solve everything."

Magda kisses Wanda's cheek, "That they do. Except, perhaps, for our dear Sokovia."

"They would need many many kittens."

"Yes, they would."

Loki enters with a tea service and sets it on the table after extracting Bruce from a tissue box, "Are you both feeling better?"

"Yes."

"Thank you."

"Of course. Now, have tea. It is delightful tea- jasmine and green. A very nice blend I recently discovered. And after, perhaps, you could explain to me just what sort of communism and what sort of democratic socialism were at the heart of this war."

For a moment, they sip tea and play with kittens, but they do explain the politics of Sokovia in as brief a manner as they can. Loki finds it still hard to follow. All he knows is that the communists are not so good at running countries and the democratic socialists seem to be quite a bit better at it, so they ousted the communists from power after many years of revolution and brutal fighting and now there were more communists and everything was looking dismal again. Then they go to supper.

Late that night, Loki is glad that there are six kittens curled up on his bed with him. It is a cold night and he is worried about Alexi. Vision curls up on his chest, purring. Loki strokes the kitten's head.

"I don't suppose you care to know about human affairs, do you?" The kitten stretches out his tiny paw and bats him on the nose, "Ah. I see. So that is how you feel about geopolitical discourse." Vision curls his paw back under himself and licks his fur, "Indeed. But this time it matters more than usual." Loki sighs, "I miss him. I really do. But most of all, I hope he is safe."


	72. Chapter 72

Spring is full under way when Tony hosts StarkExpo and invites all his friends and coworkers to bring their families. Wanda does not initially want to go, but Magda's face at seeing the list of gadgets and devices that will be on display is more than enough to convince her to attend. They invite Loki and he declines. But then Thor arrives on his doorstep on the day of the Expo.

He hears the knock and, not expecting anyone, he answers hesitantly, "Hello?"

"Brother!" Thor wraps him in a huge hug and carries him back into the house, "It is so good to see you!"

Loki can't help but laugh, "Put me down, you oaf, and don't let my kittens out!"

Thor sets him down and checks to see that no furry bodies have slipped by and closes the door, "Kittens?"

"Yes. Anthony, Natasha, Bruce, Steve, Vision, and Clint. Though Bruce and Vision are also female."

"When did you acquire kittens?"

"Not long after my return. Ralph said that perhaps I should procure a pet. They are wonderful little fuzzy creatures and I delight in caring for them."

Thor checks the couch and moves the black kitten with the white spot before sitting down, "Which one has which name?"

"You are holding Vision. The black one likely on top of the refrigerator is Clint, the orange one is Anthony. The large grey one is Bruce and the smaller grey one is Steve. Natasha is the one with many colours."

Thor scratches Vision's ears and soon the others notice and push into his hands for attention, "They are quite persistent creatures. Stubborn."

"Yes, satisfaction, it seems, is not in their nature lest you pet them into slumber. Nor, my dear Thor, is surrender. Once one of them sets their mind to action, there is no limit to how far it will go. I found Clint climbing the draperies in my bedroom one morning. Natasha and Anthony were eyeing the situation, contemplating joining him."

"Oh?"

"I extracted them from the curtains, set them on the bed, and gave them a firm talking-to. Then they seemed to calm. But when I returned from the bathroom, all three were perched on the curtain rod."

"Did they get down on their own?"

"No. They mewed until I returned them to the ground. I told them I should have left them there for a little while to let them know how unpleasant it was to be stuck, but I have a soft heart for these small creatures and I am spoiling them rotten."

"Speaking of being spoiled rotten, there is quite a fancy event tonight that Anthony is hosting."

The orange kitten, hearing his name, stretches up against Thor's shirt and starts trying to chew on his hair, "Now, Anthony, do not eat hair, it is not food..." Loki gently extracts the kitten and turns it to face him, "Really? Is that how we treat a guest?" Anthony mews, "Precisely. Now behave yourself." He holds Anthony against him scratches his back. Anthony snuggles against him and begins purring, "I know the StarkExpo is tonight. Magda and Wanda invited me, but I declined."

"Would you attend if I told you that Jane is there waiting for me and I would love your company tonight?"

"I do not know. It is a large crowd."

"That it is. But it is also a room filled with remarkable technology and gadgetry. I think you would enjoy yourself. And Jane is eager to explain everything we encounter to anyone who will listen. While I only partially understand what she is saying, you would figure things out quickly. You have always had a mind for science."

He avoids the question intentionally, "I assume since you are here that I passed Odin's test?"

"There was never any doubt in my mind that you would, Loki. While Father is often harsh and unforgiving, the family you have built here is gentle and firm. So much more like Mother. And what you have always needed."

"That does not mean they automatically forgave me, Thor, my actions causing no harm. It means they are willing to grant me the grace to keep learning. Is not that wonderful?"

"Yes, it is."

Loki sighs and sets a now sleeping Anthony on the chair, "I will go with you. On one condition."

"Oh?"

"That you let me take you out to buy a suit."

Thor laughs, "You wish me to be dapper!"

"Yes. You must be at least as dapper as I will be. And there is a second hand shop near here with a vintage velvet suit I have had my eye on. Perhaps today is the day to treat myself."

"On Anthony's tab?"

"No, actually. I no longer need his card to survive. My work has allowed me to take on that task myself. And so long as you do not decide on a designer silk suit, I should be able to treat the both of us."

Thor moves the kittens and stands, clapping a hand on Loki's shoulder with pride, "My dear Brother. You have come so far. I am happy for you."

"Good. Then let us go suit shopping."

Loki's velvet jacket is still in the shop, the black pants have a stripe of velvet ribbon down the sides. He tries it on one more time and admires its fit in the mirror. Thor has a little more trouble finding something, but the shopkeeper is helpful and she retreats to her back room and brings out a beautiful sage jacket with tan trousers piped in the same sage. Thor tries them on and stands in front of the mirror with Loki.

"I think we look quite good."

"Indeed, we do. Though I do admit, I am not used to seeing you in green."

"Things are different now. I will wear your colours in your honour."

Loki blushes a little, "Then I feel I must find something red to go with this delightful piece of costumery."

The shopkeeper brings him a bright red handkerchief and expertly folds it, tucking it in his jacket pocket, "There. Is there anything else you gentlemen will need? Shirts? Ties? Formal socks?"

"If you can outfit my brother, I would be most grateful. He has little in the way of these niceties and we are attending Mr Stark's Expo this evening."

Her eyes light up, "I sold a cocktail dress to a woman for that event a few years ago- it was quite a hit with the press."

"Did that woman happen to be a very tall redhead with a thick accent?"

"Yes."

"Magda. She is attending again tonight."

"I hope she wears the dress. It is lovely. It hugs her curves beautifully. Dark, midnight blue. A wrapped bodice. Skirt split into a pleated fan just over her hip. It's really stunning."

"I will mention it to her when we return."

"Oh, I would like that very much!" She turns to Thor, "Now, you. We need to find you a nice shirt and a tie to go with that. Perhaps a nice bow tie..." And she is off, rummaging through shelves and bins, digging for her favourite pieces she thinks will fit him. He leaves with a shirt, shoes, socks, a sage bow tie, and a vest in the same fabric as his trousers. Loki leaves with the velvet suit and a wallet considerably lighter. But he is happy and excited on the walk back to his row house with Thor.

He checks the time when they enter the house, starts supper, calls Magda to tell her he is going and to ask about the dress. She is planning to wear it. He finishes cooking and makes Thor coffee and they eat together before heading to the bedrooms to dress. Loki puts on his suit. He drapes his favourite scarf around his neck and clips the Yggdrasil necklace under his collar in place of a tie. He selects silver cufflinks with silver flowers etched into them. And he lightly ties his hair back with a black velvet band, a few shorter curls tucked behind his ears. He sits and looks at his makeup kit. There is nothing stopping him from using it, he realizes, so he does light eyeshadow in gold and lavender and a touch of rouge on his cheeks. He tugs on lace fingerless gloves and meets Thor in the hallway.

"You look marvellous tonight, Loki."

"And yourself. Shall we? We do not want to keep our neighbours waiting."

"Is Magda wearing the dress?"

"Yes. And she mentioned Wanda would be living up to her name. I can only imagine what that means she will be wearing."

"Red, I would imagine."

"If you can think of nothing more than red, you are horribly unimaginative." Loki tucks his wallet in his pocket, finds his keys and wallet, pulls on his shoes, and pets each of the kittens now curled in a heap together on the chair, "Come, we do not wish to keep them waiting."

Thor follows him out the door. In the chilly late spring evening air, Magda leans on her car, waiting, while Wanda is just leaving the house. They pile into the Mercedes and drive to the city.


	73. Chapter 73

When they arrive at the convention centre, the street out front is a parking lot for limousines. Magda slips the Mercedes into its space and they all adjust their outfits and ready themselves for the press at the entrance.

Magda slips her arm in Thor's, "Care to escort a lady?"

"Of course, I would be delighted."

Loki offers Wanda his and she accepts, "Shall we?"

"Yes. Another red carpet entrance." She cringes, "I hate this part. The parade. The press."

"Magda once told me she endures such things by imagining herself a queen. And when we entered the refugee centre fundraiser together, she told me I was the prince of Magda-gard and we would enter regally."

Thor laughs, "Then let us enter as royals! Some of us are." He winks to Loki.

"Ah, but I think it is more that one of us is, and another was."

"No, Brother, you will always be my family. Brother to the king some day. And so you will always be royal, even if you do not claim it."

"Fair enough, Thor. Fair enough. Then let us make our entrance."

They walk to the wide carpet, four abreast, and Loki links Magda's arm, too. They ascend the convention centre stairs on the red carpet and Tony greets them at the door like a king holding court.

Once inside, they hang up their coats and Loki can see in person that Magda's dress is stunning, the fabric shimmering a little under the cloakroom light. When Wanda hangs up her jacket, Loki's breath catches for a moment. She is wearing a deep red silk taffeta vintage dress that leaves her shoulders bare, swoops low in the back, and has a small crinoline under the skirt so it puffs out just enough to emphasize her slenderness. With her hair pinned up in tiny curls, she is elegant and regal.

"Dear sisters, you put your brothers to shame- you are stunning."

Magda laughs, "Surely you jest! You both look so delightfully fine!"

Wanda blushes, "Thank you." He once again offers her his arm and she takes it.

"So," Thor asks, "Where do we start?"

"By leaving the cloakroom," Magda answers, pushing him playfully. He laughs and they leave, two by two, for the Expo floor. She acquires a map and they start in the largest exhibit hall, circulating from booth to booth.

Tony catches up to them halfway around the room, "Hey, guys. Hi."

"Hello, Tony," Wanda says.

"Look, I'm really glad you guys came. Like, super glad. I think you're the only Avengers-and-friends here. Bruce is back in civilization so Nat's out with him. Cap's not interested in all the gadgets, and Clint's with his people. It's nice to have friends around, even if only a few of them really like you."

Wanda sighs, "Even through our differences, we will still support the work you are doing now for peace. I do not forgive easily, but always forward, no?"

"Yeah. That."

Magda offers her hand and he takes it, "Anthony, you are growing always. Just like our dear Loki. And because of that, I grant you the grace to make big mistakes. Yes, we have had a rough year, but we are in a new one, yes? And that means new chances to live and love. We came. You have a delightful exposition this year. And I am particularly interested in the holographic medicine displays."

"Thanks. Both of you. All of you. I've been kind of a jackass to all of you. I mean, I'm kind of a jackass to everyone, but...well, I'm not sure it's deserved with you guys. Most people are dicks and deserve a little dicking back. I'm pretty sure Magda here's the most patient person on this planet. And Thor's probably the most patient person not from this planet."

Thor claps him on the shoulder, "Anthony, we have been through much together. All of us. I with you and our team, and I with this family. We will grow together, in time. And tonight, we will all enjoy your hard work here in this hall."

"Wow. Nice. Thanks, Thor."

Loki speaks last, "I concur. And while I know it was difficult for you, I do not think I ever thanked you for allowing me to stay in your building my first days with nothing. And that you have been generous with your resources since. I owe you much, and I doubt I will be able to repay you, but just having a place to lay my head was a sliver of hope beyond my first night in the desert."

"Um...I was really an asshole to you and to Wanda then. Not sure you want to be thanking me for that."

"Nevertheless, it made a difference."

"Oh. Cool. You're welcome?" Loki nods his thanks, "Well, have a great time at the Expo, folks. I have to go tell the press about the well borer we've invented for working in the desert. Catch you later- maybe for the keynote?"

"We intend to be there, yes," Magda answers.

"Good, good. Oh, and next to the holography stuff, there's this guy who made a prototype tricorder. You should really check it out. It seems to be pretty accurate."

"Oh, that sounds fascinating! We will be certain to do so!" Tony waves and leaves. Jane finds them shortly after and Magda hugs her as though they were old friends and kisses her on the cheeks, offering to give over her claim to Thor's arm. Jane, laughing, agrees to share. They continue to wander the hall and when it is time for the keynote speaker, they move to the conference room where he is set up. Loki and Thor understand little of what is being said, but it is clear that both Jane and Magda are fascinated Fitz, who they recognise from New Year's Eve, presents on HYDRA technology. He even acknowledges Wanda as one of the sources of his information and she waves to the room when he credits the discussion she and Pietro had with him during the party.

After, it is back to the Expo. As they leave the medical holography table, Loki feels his phone vibrate. He tugs it out and nearly drops it. Wanda, concerned, walks with him to the edge of the room where he can sit and respond.

"Alexi."

"What does he want?"

He holds the phone out so she can see the message, _"Hey there. I'm back. And I'm guessing I know where you are. Can we talk in person?"_

"Are you ready for this?"

"I do not know. I thought it would never happen."

"Do not rush yourself, Loki."

"I think I need to see him, Wanda."

"Be careful of your heart, my dear. You do not need it broken again."

"I do not think it has ever healed, dear Sister." He responds to the message.

 _"Where are you? Yes, we can speak."_

 _"I'm at this little coffee shop across from StarkExpo, where I'm guessing you and the girls are."_

 _"I will be there in only moments."_

"Please, will you tell the others where I am going?"

"Not until you tell me where it is."

"Alexi is across the street. He guessed we would be here."

"That would not be hard. Magda has been excited to come every year and talks about it for days up to and after."

"I'll be back. I promise."

"I will talk to Tony so you can bring Alexi with you."

"You are a goddess, my dear."

"I know." She grins, "And I really hope this is good news for you."

"As do I."

"Go, you lovesick pup. We will be here."

Loki tucks his phone back into his pocket and heads for the doors.


	74. Chapter 74

Loki does not bother to retrieve his coat, and neither he does notice the cool air on his skin as he takes the stairs two at a time, looking for the coffee shop across the street. He spots it thanks to the little glowing mug around the "Open" sign. The street in front of the convention centre is blocked off, a parking lot for the limousines. He darts between them, not intending to run, but coming fairly close. His heart urges him to move faster.

He stops on the sidewalk, straightens his jacket, tries to calm himself, and opens the door. His heart is racing and in his throat when he steps inside. He spots Alexi by the tinted window and tries to control his steps, slowing them to what he thinks is a normal walking speed. Alexi stands. When Loki is close enough, he stops.

"I thought I would never see you again."

"I know. I'm sorry." He opens his arms, "Hug?"

Loki closes the distance between them in two quick steps, holding Alexi tight, "Oh how I have missed you..."

Alexi kisses his cheek, "I know. I missed you, too. Sit? I'll buy."

"Yes, thank you." Loki sits, reluctant, though, to let Alexi step too far away.

"What do you want?"

"Chocolate. And coffee."

"Mocha. Got it." Alexi orders and then sits across from Loki, "So...I came back for a couple of reasons. You, mostly. I thought I could help, but they took one look at me, even in my lady clothes, and told me they don't want queer women adopting their kids. Like we're going to eat them or something. I tried to tell them I was dating a guy, but they made it pretty clear that transgender anything, even just this butch haircut, wasn't going to be in line for adopting babies. Which was heartbreaking. I mean, those kids need parents, right? Why does it matter what our parts configurations are? But that got me thinking...I really really needed to be here. Where I'm loved. And where it doesn't matter."

Loki's mocha arrives and he thanks the barista, takes a sip, and then curls his hands around the warm mug, "Alexi...you hurt me very deeply."

"I know."

"No, you do not. Someone sent me an Infinity Stone so I could alter time right after you broke my heart. I will never know who and I do not care to. They had to know they I was at my most vulnerable and least able to think clearly. And I nearly used it, too. I called Asgard so I could do so there, in the safety of their dungeons. I wanted to bring back my mother."

"Oh..."

"There were two holes in my heart. And I could fill that one without destroying her life, as she was...is...already dead. I could not steal you."

"God, Loki. I don't know what to say."

"I do not take rejection well, apparently."

"No shit, honey. No shit." Loki laughs a little at his own failing, "But that's part of what I adore about you- you love hard and you don't want to let go or give up. Anyone you think is worth loving, you give everything of yourself to. And I was so lucky that was me."

"It still _is_ you, Alexi."

"Even after everything?"

"I am a fool to want this so dearly, but yes. Even after everything." He stares at his mug.

"No, you're in love, Loki. That's not foolish."

"You left. I should not be so eager to trust you again. But my heart wants to pick up where we left off. To say this does not matter. And to simply welcome you back. But my mind says that while you opened yourself to me after knowing my past, you put conditions on it. You told me I needed to ask for help and to commit to not repeat my mistakes. So I wish to ask the same of you. Will you find a different way, one that does not involve leaving, if you feel this urge to return home again?"

"Sokovia isn't the same. But even if it was...yeah. I will. Look, I suck with words and I'm not nearly as eloquent as you are. But I felt like I'd been punched in the gut when I got on that plane. And when I had to dress like a woman and play femme? It felt like someone was ripping my soul out. I can't live like that. I'm just what I am. But I like this body. I like what it can do. And I love that you just accept that it is what it is. That I am who I am. I need that more than I need anything else. I need _you_."

"Can I trust you to keep your word?"

"Loki, I don't plan on every breaking it, but if I ever do some stupid shit and do, tell me I'm not coming back. That's how serious I am about this. If I ever do this again...well, I don't deserve you." He reaches out and rests his hands over Loki's, "Can I have one last chance?"

"Yes. But I need to hear you say the words."

Alexi smiles, "I'll do better." He gets up and crouches beside Loki so he can whisper in his ear, "I love you." His voice sends a shudder down Loki's spine and he closes his eyes for a moment, wishing they were not in public. "See, in Sokovia, I made some connections, met up with some old friends, and we went out for coffee. When I told them about you, my best girl told me, 'Marry that boy, Lexi! Get out of this hellhole and go back to him!' Well I took part of her advice." Alexi drops to one knee, "Would you like to make the second part come true?"

Loki is stunned by the proposal and cannot make his mind even think words while Alexi opens a ring box; when he finally can, it comes out with a giggle, "Yes!"

Alexi returns to his seat and slips one of the rings on Loki's finger, "Sokovian silver. Some of the finest in the world."

"It is beautiful."

"Just like you, honey. Now, tell me about what happened when I was gone."

"Perhaps later I will detail the choice Asgard gave me. But beyond that, I adopted six kittens and named them after Avengers." He offers to put the other ring on Alexi's finger.

Once on, Alexi takes Loki's hands, "Six kittens?"

"Yes. I have managed to raise them well."

Alexi traces Loki's ring, "So...do you want to try to raise other things some day, too?"

"You mean children."

"Yep. Little larval humans."

"I am not sure that is an apt comparison."

"You're dodging the question."

"I am still trying to fathom the idea that you are back, let alone that you wish to make our mutual adoration formal under the laws of this land. Though I hope you will allow for whatever length engagement makes us both comfortable."

"You have the most complicated way of saying 'get married' and 'wait a little while'."

"I have complicated ways of saying everything. I like long sentences and the flowing prose of conversation."

"Yeah, it's cute. Even when I want to tell you to get to the point. Which I do. On the kids."

"You are ready?"

"I left the country ready and willing to nurse an orphan baby as my own. Yeah, I'm ready."

"I do not think I am."

"That's cool. I don't really expect that you will be for some time. But are you open to the idea?"

"Yes."

"Awww, babies in the bookshop. That'll be cute. We'll take pictures to send to Ralph."

"If he is not around to see for himself."

"Yep."

Loki drags his fingers over the table and Alexi tries to figure out what he's drawing. He doesn't have to try for long. Little green sprouts ease up from the wood in a script A facing him, an L facing Loki, the L's tail swooping back up to form a little heart between the letters with the tail from the A's cross. The sprouts spring tiny round leaves and then blossom into little white five-petalled flowers. Alexi stares. Then he looks up at Loki, one hand in his, one hand propping up his chin as he lovingly admires his handiwork, errant locks of hair falling into his face. He decides that he never wants to forget the moment and closes his eyes like the shutter of a camera, trying to freeze the picture in his memory. Loki is not paying attention when he quietly switches his phone to camera mode and takes a photograph of his lover. Loki blushes when he realizes what Alexi is doing. The flowers fade.

"That was incredible. I didn't know you could do that...the magic thing. Odin took it away."

"Yes, he did. But I have been working very hard to rediscover it. Odin told me that it is possible here."

"That's amazing!"

"Yes, yes it is. What is more amazing is that he is allowing it."

"You have a lot to tell me about what's happened since I left, don't you?"

"Again, yes. But not yet."

"After the Expo."

"In our own quiet sanctuary, wherever we find it. I feel as though I should be angry, trepidatious. But I am not. And I am giddy that you have returned."

"Sokovia wasn't the home I thought it was going to be. This is. And we can take whatever time you want. A long engagement's fine. But you can't wait until we're nearly dead. Not that long, OK?"

"Agreed. But perhaps a year, or maybe two, before we make plans."

"I can do that."

"Shall we join the Expo? Four of my five siblings are there."

"I'm guessing Pietro isn't there."

"Correct."

"Can you sneak me in?"

"There is no need. Wanda will have secured us access by the time we return."

They finish their drinks and leave a large tip for the barista in the jar on the counter. She smiles at them and congratulates them. They go hand in hand through the limousines. Alexi swings Loki's arm and laughs as they bound up the stairs.


	75. Chapter 75

Loki and Alexi weave their way through the exhibition hall to Magda, Wanda, Jane, and Thor, laughing, giddy, as children darting to find their friends. Magda opens her arms wide and embraces Alexi as soon as he is close.

"Oh thank god you have escaped the war unharmed! I have been so worried."

"Yeah, it was a little hairy, but they didn't want me parenting their kids, so after it was pretty clear that wasn't the place for me, I came to back home."

"I am so glad for it. And I imagine our darling brother is as well."

Wanda shakes his hand, "We will talk later about what I will do to you should you break his heart again. But not now. Now will be for pleasant things."

"Yeah...I thought you might be pretty angry."

"Angry is an understatement. I was seething. I had prepared all the terrible things I would say to you upon you return. And you need to know how deeply you hurt him from someone who watched everything unfold. So we will some day set aside space to talk."

"Please don't kill me."

"I have no intention of killing you. But I do have every intention of making perfectly clear that I may come close if it ever happens again."

Thor interrupts, "So, Loki- how did your conversation go? You both looked quite happy when you entered." Alexi lets out a breath he did not realise he was holding, grateful for the rescue.

"Well...delightful. And this happened." He shows Thor the ring, "We are engaged. Though it will be some time before we move forward with it."

Magda shrieks with delight and throws her arms around his neck, laughing, "I am so happy for you!"

Even Wanda smiles, "It is good to see you so happy, Loki. You are glowing." She takes his hand and kisses his cheek, "We will welcome Alexi to the family officially whenever you wish it, but know he is one of us, even if I threaten him a little. It is the way of an older sister- our duty, one might say."

"Yes, and it is our duty to daydream with you about wedding things and delightfully frilly gowns if you do so wish," Magda adds.

"We shall certainly take the time to dream." He reaches for Alexi's hand, "I do not plan to rush this."

"Yeah, and we've got to talk a lot through. But it just felt right to come back from Sokovia with rings. I shouldn't have left. I know, they called, they talked about kids...but this is my family."

Jane hugs him, "This is wonderful, Loki. I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you, Jane."

She turns to Alexi and hugs him, too, "Congratulations. And if you hurt him, I'll slap you."

"I can attest that she slaps hard. And evidently there will be a line...thank you, dear sisters, for being so fiercely protective."

"She's slapped you?" Alexi asks, "There's a story here I don't know, isn't there?"

"Correct. I do not know that Wanda and Magda know it, either."

"You'll have to tell me later."

"Indeed, I will."

Thor stands back, proud of Loki for this moment. It is another thing he never thought he would see after Loki returned so bitter after his fall from the Bifrost. And yet here he is, beaming, his adopted family surrounding him, and a lover by his side.

Tony appears from behind him, "So... What's going on over here?"

"Alexi has returned."

"Who's that and where'd he go?"

"Loki's partner. He had returned to Sokovia. But he has returned and asked Loki to some day marry him."

"Oh. OH! Wow! I didn't expect that."

"Neither did I."

"But it's cool, I mean, nothing wrong with it. I just never thought we'd go from homicidal fascist emperor wannabe to a hug pile in the middle of the Expo. And I'm still not used to this gender thing. But that's cool, too. He seems happy. Was at New Year's, too. And he's prettier than me, which is totally not fair."

"I think he looks fairer than I as well, Anthony. I will admit to a little jealousy, especially over the way his hair is elegant even when messy."

"Now _that's_ just not fair."

"Agreed."

"So...do you think this is it? Happy Loki, no more crazy schemes, no more thinking he's gone to the Dark Side?"

"I do."

"And how are you feeling about the whole 'brother aging before your eyes' thing?"

"It hurts, I admit. But he is happier than I have seen him in years, even in he decades leading up to my interrupted coronation. And if he is happy this way, I will make peace with it."

"You're a better man than I am, then. I don't think I could do it."

"Do not sell yourself short, Anthony. You are strong in more ways than one." Thor claps him on the shoulder and opens his arms as he approaches Loki and Alexi, "And I have not yet congratulated you both on your good fortune and happiness. Alexi- soon you, too, will be my brother!" He turns to Tony, "Come! Meet my future brother! Fate has smiled upon this day."

Tony shrugs, "Sure, why not?" and approaches the group. He smiles and shakes hands at Thor's introduction. He thinks he will duck out quickly, but Magda's smile draws him in and he stays. They circulate the Expo together, and before it is over, they are hungry and tired.

Tony checks the clock, "I've been here longer than usual, so let's blow this joint and get something to eat. What do you like? Pizza? Italian? Shawarma? Chinese? My treat- an engagement party for the happy couple."

Loki does not care where they eat so Alexi chooses, "Pizza always sounds good."

"Pizza it is! Come on, there's a really good place just down the block. Little hole in the wall. We'll stick out like sore thumbs in our fancies, but it'll be a blast."

And it is. They drink, they laugh, and everyone orders their own pizza. They share. Loki tells how Jane smacked him. By the time they are ready to go home, everyone is exhausted, but there is still enough energy for hugs and to sing Bohemian Rhapsody as loudly and badly as possible as they walk down the sidewalk with their takeout bags. They say goodbye to Tony, Jane, and to Thor. Wanda and Magda drive back to their house while Alexi takes Loki home.

The kittens are asleep in a pile on the couch and Loki is careful not to wake them as he puts things in the refrigerator. They creep upstairs, shed their clothes, and snuggle under the blankets.

Loki once again admires his ring, "I cannot believe you came home with a promise. This is something out of a story."

"I thought you'd like it. You like the grand gestures."

"I do."

"Do you regret anything now that there's been a few hours to think on it?"

"Not at all. I am content. Wonderfully content."

Alexi slips his hand down Loki's chest to rest it low on his stomach, "So...want to talk? And then maybe...whatever you want?"

Loki sighs and turns toward him, Alexi's hand coming to rest on his hip, "Yes. Talk. And we will see from there."

So they talk. Loki tells him of the helmet and the Stone, of Asgard and his choice. And of that first moment reconnecting with Yggdrasil touching the ash in the square. Alexi kisses him deeply, slowly, and with an intensity that clears Loki's mind entirely.

Loki knows there will be many more nights like this, where they slight one another, talk it through at night, and ease away the hurt with gentle touch and wandering lips. A whole lifetime of them. And some day, the front bedroom will hold bunkbeds and the chatter of little voices that dissolve into giggles when one of their dads comes into the room. It is a good dream, and one he is looking forward to making come true, even if it takes a few years. There will be good days. There will be hard days. Days spent working, and days spent lazing about with the kittens. Days spent with just the two of them, or days spent apart and in quiet solitude. Days spent with friends, with family, and in rowdy laughter.

Realizing all this late at night with Alexi curled up on his chest makes one thing beautifully clear. Loki has made himself a home where no one will cast him out.


End file.
